He's not sure how long he's been there. It's almost like time had stopped the moment he arrived, like there's no concept of time here at all. He has no recollection of how he got here, either. He just appeared in a world of darkness and became a part of it.

Then, suddenly, he wasn't.

His eyes snap open, and he sits up slowly, disoriented -- though orienting oneself in a pit of darkness seems nearly impossible. It feels strange, sitting up after having laid down for so long, and even more so to stand up. He manages to push himself to his feet, though doing so without a floor underneath him is a challenge, to say the least.

He lets his eyes wonder, taking in the sights, or lack thereof. There's nothing to see; just darkness everywhere. It's what he's always imagined it would feel like to be buried alive, but those who have been buried alive can't walk around the way he is -- and he would know, because he's no stranger to burying people alive.

Well, nap time's over, apparently. Time to figure out what the hell is going on.

"Hello?" he calls out. "Anybody home?"

He sighs to himself at the silence that follows. Apparently, there's not. Is this what Hell is? Social isolation? Constant nothingness? It's not quite what he pictured, but there's something about it that's just haunting. Although, he reasons, there would have to be more to Hell than nothing. That's where the demons live and where Lucifer's cage resides, though it's now more Michael's than Lucifer's. But if this isn't hell, and it certainly isn't Heaven, what is it?

"So there's really no one here?" Gabriel asks the void. "Do I have the place to myself? 'Cause, like, that would be cool and all, but I have a hard time believing I have my own personal nothing."

He wanders around aimlessly for a minute or so, looking for some sign of life -- or some sign of death; he's not too picky.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," he mutters, though he's come to realize by now that if there is someone or something here, they aren't going to come when he calls.

He's not sure what compels him to turn around. It's almost like he can sense the presence behind him, though that's never been a gift he possessed. A familiar shape emerges from the shadows, though it may be the last person he would expect to find. If this is the afterlife, though, he can't say he's too surprised.

"Castiel," Gabriel greets him with a small nod of his head.

"Ah, not quite," he says in an accent that even Gabriel can't place, and, as a world traveler for millions of years, that's an incredible feat. It takes a lot to find an accent he's never heard before, but this one... Well, he hopes no one else has ever had the misfortune of speaking with it.

"Alright, Not Quite Castiel," Gabriel says, because at this point, he's seen enough weird shit to just roll with it. "If you're not Cas, who are you?"

"Oh, just your friendly neighborhood cosmic entity," he says with a grin that could frighten a child to tears.

"Oh, same here," Gabriel says, then adds, "Well, not the 'neighborhood' part. I'm not sure where we are, but I'm pretty sure I'm not from here. And, you know, maybe not the 'friendly,' part either, but I got the 'cosmic' part down pat."

"Yes, I'm very aware," Not Quite Castiel says.

"Oh, have you heard of me?" Gabriel asks, doing his best impression of a famous celebrity. "Just, um, quick question. What name do you know me by, again?" He has way too many aliases to keep track of.

"The real one, of course," he says as though it should be obvious. "You can lie to your so-called friends on earth, but you can't deceive me."

"Interesting..."

"Oh, yes, very interesting, indeed," Not Quite Castiel says, though Gabriel gets the feeling they're not talking about the same thing.

"How is that interesting to you?" Gabriel asks. "What type of all-knowing being finds things interesting?"

"I never claimed to be all-knowing," Not Quite Castiel says.

"Technically, no, you didn't," Gabriel concedes, "but most people wouldn't make such a show of knowing who I really am if that wasn't the impression they were going for."

"I'm not most people," Not Quite Castiel says simply.

"You're not a person at all, I'm assuming," Gabriel says. "We're not talking semantics here, wherever 'here' is -- which, by the way, where is 'here'?"

"Oh, yes, I'm surprised that wasn't your first question," Not Quite Castiel says.

"Well, I've been told my priorities are a bit whacked," Gabriel replies. "So? Where are we? Your home? 'Cause it's nice." He glances around at the complete darkness surrounding them. "A little plain, but.."

Not Quite Castiel doesn't acknowledge his complaint, nor does he seem to acknowledge his question, instead asking one of his own. "Before God, the Darkness, your archangels, what was there?"

Gabriel's brows furrow in confusion. "Is this a trick question?"

"No, from what I've heard, tricks are your thing," he says. "Now, think about it. Before God, before Amara, what was there?"

Gabriel takes a moment to think about that. Before God? But God created everything. Before him, there was just... "Nothing?"

"Exactly," Not Quite Castiel says.

Gabriel rolls his eyes. "That was the worst history lesson I've ever had, and I've been in American elementary schools before Thanksgiving, so that's saying something. But what does that have to do with... well, with anything?"

"Before God, Amara, Heaven, Hell, there was nothing." Not Quite Castiel gestures to their world of darkness. "Nothing but empty."

Gabriel stares at him incredulously. "You're telling me this place is called the Empty?"

"I am," he replies.

Gabriel scoffs. "That's the stupidest name I've ever heard of. Is that seriously the best you could come up with?"

Not Quite Castiel looks taken aback by that. "But that's exactly what it is. It's entirely empty here."

"Except apparently, it's not," Gabriel says. "I mean, you're here. I'm here. It can't be empty if we're here, now, can it?"

"But... it is," Not Quite Castiel insists, though he's not quite as confident about it now.

"But it's not," Gabriel says, then changes the subject before they get into a "yes, it is,' 'no, it's not' battle for the rest of eternity."So, where exactly are we?"

"The Empty."

"Yeah, no, got that part," Gabriel says. "But what is the Empty?"

"That's exactly what it is," Not Quite Castiel says. "It's empty, it's nothing. There's nothing but the remains of angels --"

"So it's an angel afterlife," Gabriel surmises. "That's all you had to say."

"If you had let me finish --" Not Quite Castiel says indignantly.

"No time for that, sorry."

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong," Not Quite Castiel says. "You have nothing but time."

"Okay, that sounds great and all, but I'm gonna have to say ixnay on the 'staying here for the rest of eternity' thing that I'm sure you were alluding to. Real life awaits, you know? I got people waiting for me back on earth. So, um, thanks for... well, nothing, and I'll see you never."

"But you can't leave here," Not Quite Castiel says. "Nobody can."

"Fortunately for me, I happen to be a nobody," Gabriel replies, feeling shockingly like a modern day Odysseus except more dead. "So, let me out, will ya?"

"No, no, no," Not Quite Castiel says. "You're stuck here. Forever. So be a good boy and go to sleep. That way I can go to sleep, because I like sleep, okay?"

Gabriel raises an eyebrow. Wow, this guy gets very aggressive over sleep. "Call me crazy, but I don't really see myself winning here. But, let me out so I can see if my friends managed to survive whatever the hell it is they got themselves into now, and you can go back to sleep, okay?"

"Or," Not Quite Castiel says, "I can throw you so far into the Empty --"

"Yeah, nice try, sweet cheeks," Gabriel says. "But you and I both know that if that was an option, I wouldn't be standing here talking to you right now."

Not Quite Castiel crosses his arms, tapping his chin with his finger. "Pretty smart, pretty smart... Dummy."

"Oh, that hurt my feelings," Gabriel says, exaggerating the hurt in his voice. "I guess I'll just stay here and whine about it really loudly for the rest of eternity."

"No, no you won't."

"Yeah? Try me, Not Quite Castiel. I'm a lot more persistent than you think, and like you said, I got nothing but time."

"I'm not Castiel," he says, which is apparently the only thing he got from that sentence.

"Ah ah," Gabriel says with a smirk. "You told me you're not quite Castiel."

"But what I meant was that I'm not --"

"I don't care what you meant," Gabriel says. "I care what you said, and what you said was that you're not quite Castiel."

"But not as a name," Not Quite Castiel says, apparently having given up on the 'not quite' bit.

"Well, do you have a different name I can call you?" Gabriel asks, though he already knows he probably won't use it, just to annoy him.

"No --"

"Great, then, Not Quite Castiel," Gabriel says. "But now I have to ask. Why are you wearing Castiel as a coat?"

"Well, I couldn't greet you as myself," he says. "If you saw my true form, you'd freak out, rip your eyes out, et cetera, and that would be embarrassing, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, really," Gabriel says. "I mean, if I looked as ugly as you seem to be, I'd be embarrassed, too. But what does that have to do with Castiel?"

"It's much easier for someone like you to look at Castiel rather than my true form."

"But why him?" Gabriel asks, although he's not sure why he cares this much. "What is it about Castiel that made you go 'Hey, let's impersonate this guy today'? I mean, I get that we've been hanging out with the same crowd lately, not that it was my choice, but I would have assumed you'd pick Michael or Lucifer or Raphael, someone I'm actually close with."

"I wouldn't know who you're close with," he says.

"Then why did you pick Cast -- wait a second." Gabriel crosses his arms. That son of a... "He was here. Castiel was here, wasn't he?"

Not Quite Castiel just nods.

"Well, he's obviously not here now," Gabriel says. "The guy's been nothing but trouble for years. If he was here, he would have made sure we knew it. So where is he?"

Not Quite Castiel hesitates, not providing an answer of any type, which is just the answer Gabriel needed.

"You let him leave," Gabriel says. "You let him leave, or he let himself leave, or something like that, but he left, didn't he?"

There's a brief pause, then, "That was a different scenario."

"I don't care about that 'scenario,'" Gabriel says. "If you could let him out, you can let me out."

"I can't do that."

"Can't? Or won't?"

Not Quite Castiel doesn't hesitate to answer, "Won't."

Gabriel doesn't care. As long as he knows the guy can let him out, he knows he'll get out of here eventually. He is nothing if not annoying, and there's no way in hell Not Quite Castiel can suffer through an eternity of it.

"I guess you'll just have to stay awake forever," Gabriel says with a smirk. "What should we do to pass the time?" He gasps dramatically. "I know!"

Not Quite Castiel eyes him warily. "What?"

"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer!"

And, suddenly, Not Quite Castiel becomes the epitome of regret. That's exactly what Gabriel was hoping for, too. It's only a matter of time until he breaks and lets him go. He'll be back to help the Winchesters in a week, tops.