Gabriel stood alone on the side of the dance floor watching as a vast array of newly turned 20 year olds bumped and grinded against each other on the dance floor to whatever DJ Doofus was attempting to play. Seriously, whichever member of staff had decided to have Keith be the entertainment for the night needed their head checking. Not once had he played a song Gabriel would deem 'dance worthy'.

Where were all the Backstreet Boys tracks? Or even some Queen? He could do a wicked Freddie Mercury impression.

And the venue...

Why the hell was the party thrown at the spawn of Audrey's hotel? He was quite sure Chloé and Marinette didn't get on, so why was it here? The place was tacky and — thanks to Andres in capability to hold down a decent job — falling apart. Gabriel was sure he saw a lone thread pulled from the carpet. Absolutely despicable.

The loud thumping of the music died down as Keith took the microphone and held it to his mouth. Gabriel screwed his nose up in disgust as he gave the guy a once over. Was that hat permanently stuck to his head? On what planet did Keith think his red cap was suitable for a formal event? The invitation stated black tie not red cap.

A mumbling rumbled over the sound system causing everyone to scream and cheer before the next loud and high volume banging began to vibrate against the walls.

When Marinette had decided on the party theme, Gabriel didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the idea of it being a 'black tie' event — the girl couldn't even tell her forks apart; who was she trying to kid?

A couple of weeks back, she arrived at the mansion, with Adrien, her portfolio under her arm. He really thought she was there with her tail between her legs ready to beg to join the 'family business'. Instead, it was full of ideas for herself and Adrien's outfits, the young wannabe asking a professional for his opinion.

To make matters worse, she then had the audacity to tell him – him – that his style was 'impeccable' and he could 'wear whatever he wanted'.

What a suck up!

Making a point, he'd decided to put no effort into tonight's outfit. Instead choosing a bland black ensemble with a gold cravat and a red rose in his pocket. He may have looked like an extra out of a Godfather spoof, but he didn't care. The black skirt, waistcoat and jacket/pants combo was dull and lazy; and, ironically, the perfect match to the decor (and Marinette and Adrien's outfits).

Unconsciously, Gabriel had managed to match the theme of the evening to a tee; everyone congratulating him and complimenting him as they passed by.

"M. Agreste." He turned away from his inquisitive glare at Keith and down to someone he knew. Someone one who happened to be on the arm of...

"Félix?"

Ignoring the greeting of Kagami, Gabriel turned his attention to his problematic nephew. Hadn't Adrien told him Kagami had a girlfriend?

One thing was for certain, Félix was not, by any means, a girl. How did he know? Because that damn kid was the nuisance who encouraged Adrien to pee up the side of the wall when they were five years old. He still had nightmares about the pissed misspelling of 'Agreste Sux' dripping onto his prim and proper rose bushes, coating them in concentrated piss.

To make matters worse, when he'd had the statue of Emilie erected the builders had mistakenly put the shrine on the piss wall. A memory that still haunted him to this day. The chirp they received after that was full of hash browns. He was sure they were cowering in a corner somewhere, wallowing in their own incompetence from his online attack.

"Uncle Gabe! What a great event this is! Tell me, did you come up with the colour scheme? I know how much of a Ladybug and Chat Noir fan you are."

The red, gold and black decor hadn't gone unnoticed by the veteran designer; however, Félix's little dig in front of Kagami was too obvious for his liking. He turned his attention away from the smug look of his nephew and to the woman on his arm.

"Ms. Tsurugi, it's a pleasure to see you again."

Stepping forward, Gabriel greeted her with a kiss on each cheek, a side eyed glare at the blond next to her with a stare of warning.

"Yes." Kagami said, backing away with the same stone cold expression he'd grown fond of with her mother. "You too. Where are Marinette and Adrien? I would like to give them my regards."

They all stood and looked out onto the dancefloor, no sign of the happy couple moving and shaking with the others, or on any of the outskirts chatting away to the crowds. Crowds and crowds of people he didn't know and, to be honest, from the clientele not exactly people he wanted to socialise with, including Marinette's boss. God, he hated that woman with a passion. She was all fluffy bunnies and happy faces. When he looked at her, all he saw was Professor Umbridge from Harry Potter. One wrong move and she'd carve her harsh critics into your forearm.

His eyes continued moving as the track changed to Dirty Dancing and, dear Lord, this was something he didn't need to see. Tony and Sabrina making out on the dance floor, the bigger man lifting up his much smaller wife so their lips could meet.

"Green's never been your colour uncle. Makes you appear all washed out and a little sicky."

"Why are you here?" Gabriel snide, and turned towards Félix, only for the younger man to burst out laughing.

A growl left his lips, Félix's eyes dancing with amusement before turning to Kagami. "Why don't you go find the happy couple? I'll catch up with you shortly."

The pda suddenly shown between the two of them made Gabriel queasy. It was like watching his own offspring kiss a girl, why couldn't youth of today just keep it behind closed doors?

Félix's eyes trailed Kagami as she was absorbed in with the crowd — leaving Gabriel alone with Félix.

"I'll ask you again. Why are you here Félix?"

"Why wouldn't I be here uncle? After all, Adrien is family."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "He doesn't like you that much."

"Oh contraire, I think you'll find Adrien and I have sorted out our differences and are quite close these days."

A snort left the older man's lips. Whatever! Everyone knew Félix had caused shit for Adrien during their teen years, hell, he'd caused shit for the whole of Paris and beyond.

"And I'm a monkey's uncle."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Gabriel attempted to look for Nathalie. He'd had enough and wanted to go home. A new season of 'The Greatest Baker' had begun, and be damned if he was going to miss the terrible monstrosities the bakers created in week one.

His eyes finally settled on the couple in the middle of the floor, the main beats and bars of 'Time of our Life' kicking in as Nathalie bolted the length of the dance floor in a full speed 100m sprint.

No! No way!

A moment later, Nathalie was hoisted into the air, arms stretched out wide as Gorilla held her over his head. He really needed to question her about where she stood with all this. Next thing he knew she'd be helping to choose their flowers and figuring out what would be better for their buttonholes — one flower or two.

"That's impressive." Félix pulled out his phone to take some photographs as the sounds of whoops and cheers surrounded Gabriel's traitorous employees.

"Go home Félix, nobody wants you here."

Once again, Félix took on a smirk the Joker would be proud of.

"I don't think Adrien would be happy if one of his groomsmen missed tonight."

"That hasn't been agreed."

"I don't think it's your wedding," Félix snorted, heading in the direction Kagami went, "if you need me I'll be with mygirlfriend."

Félix dropped Gabriel a wink before heading off and onto the dancefloor, the Macarena starting and causing a ruckus to circulate around the room as people pushed their way into the centre of the ballroom.

Anger seethed through Gabriel, his legs moving before he realised he was making a swift exit out of the room. As if the bride and in-laws weren't his only problem, now he needed to deal with one of the groomsmen as well. Cap-boy Keith was riding on his lift swiftly at the moment.

A muffled sound came over the sound system once more, stopping Gabriel in his tracks. A voice rang out yet he couldn't understand a word being said. He looked up at Cap-Boy Keith, aka DJ Doofus, aka someone who needed elocution lessons before delivering the best man speech at the wedding.

He was surrounded by uneducated idiots.

Forcing his feet to keep going, Gabriel made it out into the hallway of the hotel and kept walking in the direction of the restrooms. Five minutes peace and a couple of rounds of Wordle should sort him out.

Grasping for his phone to load the app, a sudden bang from a store room grabbed his attention. He stopped, staring at the door waiting for another sound to come from there. After a couple of seconds, and a notification his next word game was waiting for him he decided to move on.

Thump!

Stopping once more, Gabriel turned his head back to the cupboard.

Thump! Thump! Thump!

What the hell was going on in there?

Retracing his steps backwards, he stood outside the supply closet door and listened once more.

"Kitty!" A giggle punctuated the word, a word which had him on edge. He moved slightly closer, almost resting an ear against the door.

"What would you like, M'Lady? Let me make tonight purrfect!"

Slamming a hand over his mouth, Gabriel gasped, moving his phone into his pocket and forgetting about Wordle. The next challenge would have to wait because right now, he believed he'd struck gold.

"It's always perfect with you, Kitty cat. Plus, you know how much I love to ring your bell."

A deep, vibrating purr sounded through the doorway. No!!! No way!!!! This shit evening was suddenly looking up.

"Now, hurry up," the female voice demanded.

"You're so bossy!" Her partner responded, and Gabriel couldn't help the girlish giggle leave his mouth.

A clatter and curse inside the store room followed, joined swiftly by the sound of laughter.

"Come on now, Minou, we need to be quick. We shouldn't be here."

No you shouldn't! Gabriel thought, a sinister smirk taking over his lips.

He was almost 100% sure Ladybug and Chat Noir were in this storage room and if his theory was right they were a lot more than just friends. Finally, things were coming up Gabriel!

He pressed one ear to the door listening in on the two lovers on the other side. When they came out they wouldn't know what hit them! He'll transform, call their names and bam! Without a word of warning, he'd take them down, removing their jewellery and basking in his own success.

Moving to the wall opposite the door he settled down ready and waited. They couldn't be much longer.

Ten minutes later, he was still sitting opposite the storage room door entering his next answer into his game.

C-O-A-T

The mocking green boxes coated (Ha!) the letters O-A-T. He quickly swapped the C for a G, silently cheering when his answer was accepted as correct. 20/65. He was getting good at this.

Peering up from his phone he sighed, eyes glaring at the door once again. Didn't she say this needed to be quick? The noises he'd heard indicated anything but... they were most certainly taking their time, whatever it was they were doing.

A curse suddenly sounded through the door as Chat Noir labelled Ladybug's dress 'most complicated fucking dress in the universe'.

After what seemed to be a few minutes fumbling with said dress, Chat Noir had decided to 'fuck it' and just lift it up. He wasn't sure why he was so intrigued by the running commentary. Why hadn't Chat Noir done that in the first place? They must have wasted a good 3 minutes on the dress. He always knew that the cat lacked the brain power of the partnership.

Memories of Gabriel's younger years surfaced as he remembered the first time he had participated in a little public rumpy pumpy with Emilie. They were in Brighton on one of his visits to see her in England. After a rather heavy night out they hadn't been able to control themselves, instead hiding away in an alleyway behind an award winning fish and chips shop and giving in to their human desires. The smell of deep fried cod took months to scrub off his skin and out of his hair. Oh yes! That night was definitely a hash brown ROLO! (#YOLO)

Another thud came from the closet, Gabriel letting out a sigh which vibrated his lips like a motorbike. He switched from his game to his notes screen finding the one titled...

Akuma Ideas

Clicking on the first, he pressed enter and moved it down now longer into the number 2 spot. Gabriel switched to his keyboard and placed it on all caps. He typed his new number one note for creating akumas.

NO HORMONE RELATED AKUMAS

Last thing he wanted was to have to wait for the two of them to have a 'quickie' before he could take their Miraculous. A quickie lasting more like a longie — if this display was anything to go by.

But in all seriousness he couldn't believe his luck.

What was looking like a crappy night had suddenly turned into what could be the most amazing of his life? Then he wouldn't have to worry about Adrien getting married to Marinette because he would rewrite history and Adrien and Marinette would never meet.

Perfect!

A regular rhythm began to bang on the door, noises he wished he could block out with his fabulous noise cancelling headphones from Adrien.

"Get the snake out!" A gruff voice was heard from in the cupboard. They must be transformed and if they do get the snake Miraculous out then maybe he could go home tonight with three fine pieces of jewellery for the price of two. It was just getting more and more exciting by the minute.

Scrambling onto his hands and knees, and crawling towards the door he placed one ear against it. If they had the snake, would they have more?

Giggling, he pressed himself closer to the door, listening intently to their conversation.

"I don't think we have time for that Kitty Cat."

"That's not the snake I was on about, Bugaboo."

"Oh, you dirty kitty."

Disappointment had him deflating like a balloon. They hadn't got the snake Miraculous.

He pulled his head away and stared at the door. If the so-called snake — as Chat Noir so elegantly put it — they were talking about was still firmly away, what the hell had they been doing in there? Playing scrabble?

Moving forward again, he prepared his ear to listen. Maybe they'd be kind enough to share?

"I didn't take you for a peeping Tom."

Tumbling backwards, Gabriel fell onto his ass, legs sprawled and glasses tilted — falling from his face.

Moving one hand slowly, he pushed the frames back into position and looked up and into the green eyes of his nephew. The arrogant smirk looking at home on his face. The blond crossed his arms and looked from Gabriel on the floor to the closed door to the closet.

"Well, well, well uncle! Something you need to share with the class."

The banging in the closet suddenly increased in volume and speed. Félix raised one eyebrow and folded his arms in triumph.

"You dirty, old man."

Gabriel's eyes burned into Félix, the older man scrambling to his feet just as a screamed 'Chaton' sounded in the hallway..

"Félix, this has nothing to do with you." Gabriel tried to sound indignant, which ended up coming out more like Mickey Mouse out for fun with Donald.

"Actually it does, Nino's playing your choices now and Nathalie's sent me out to find you. She said she doesn't want you looking even more ungrateful for Nino's efforts than you already do."

"Nino?" Gabriel scanned his mind for who Nino was and what effort he would have put in for this evening, but everything kept coming up blank.

"Oh - um - Keith."

"Awwww." Gabriel nodded. "Keith." The name was spoken with a barrage of disgust. Gabriel's nose wrinkled and eyes narrowed, his face placing his feelings fully on display.

"Anyway, you need to come in now."

Gabriel looked between Félix and the door to the closet. He had two choices here: one - he went with Félix missing out on his chance to find out Ladybug and Chat Noir's identities, or two - he stayed here and continued to look like a peeping Tom and pervert.

The choice was hard! And if it wasn't for the push of Félix's hand against his back, he was quite sure he would have stayed and waited. Instead, he needed to go and flex his muscles before doing the Time Warp.

However, now he was in on a secret. Ladybug and Chat Noir were friends with either Marinette or Adrien. He just needed to work out who they were and then flush them out.

•••••

Adrien and Marinette

"Is he still out there?" Marinette whispered. Adrien on his hands and knees as he peered under the door.

"Yeah, he's sitting down on his phone. Probably playing Wordle again." Adrien scooted onto his knees, Marinette holding out a hand to pull him up.

"What are we going to do? I'm not... you know... with him out there and we've been using our nicknames, not even our normal nicknames, our secret nicknames! Why is it always your father that catches us?"

Adrien had to place a hand over his mouth to muffle the snort sound escaping through the door.

"Don't start," Marinette giggled, smacking him on the upper arm. "Your father's seen me naked almost as many times as you have."

Adrien was too slow to cover the snort that time, Marinette moving forward quickly and slamming a hand over his mouth — a loud bag coming from where his back had hit the door. The movement caused the delicate lacing of Marinette's dress to begin to unravel; the corset opened and dropped, leaving her chest bare.

She squealed and let go of Adrien.

"I need you to fix this, I can't go out with this undone." Cupping the top to her body, she turned around and offered her back to Adrien.

"This dress is the most complicated fucking dress in the universe." Adrien raised his voice and Marinette looked over her shoulder to glare at him.

"Why did you say that so loud?" she hissed.

"Got to give the nosey bastard a little something. Now COME HERE AND I'LL LIFT IT UP!"

Marinette rolled her eyes, moving her hair over one shoulder as Adrien laced the strings of the corset once more. His head moved closer to her ear, his lips brushing against the shell and sending a shiver down her spine; his fingers working seamlessly on the laces of her top.

"How about we continue our little alter ego role play and stir some shit up? You know how much he loves Ladybug," Adrien whispered.

Her eyes glistened as she looked back at her future husband. "You're so evil," she giggled, obviously 100% on board with the idea. "But how are we going to get out of here?" .

"Félix?" Adrien replied, pulling his phone from his pocket.

"Félix," Marinette agreed.

•••••

BONUS:

'It's just a jump to your left,

And then a step to your right.'

Gabriel, loaded with enough alcohol to make Jack Sparrow look sober, grabbed hold of his cravat and yanked it from the collar of his shirt, progressing to swinging it around his head and sending it sailing into the 'whooping' crowd.

Tony jumped in next to him, his own tie tied around his head in a tribute to Rambo, hips rotating and knees bouncing.

'Put your hands on your hips,

And bring your knees in tight'

The two men began to dance in absurd synchronisation, each matching the other in near perfection.

What the hell was this!

Gabriel turned to Tony and shot him 'finger guns' as the big man did his best Michael Jackson spin, ending in a pelvic thrust.

Gabriel and Tony continued their bounce around like two teens at an out of control frat party, each stumbling into the next move and trying to style it out like a member of the T-Birds.

Grabbing his hand, Tony spun Gabriel under his arm before hoisting the lean designer up onto his hip and pointing out to the crowd. Both hitting a bizarre ending position as the crowd roared in appreciation.

Before anyone could understand what was fully happening, a full blown 'Dancing with the Stars' routine started up on the dance floor as the 'Time Warp' changed into 'Hot Stuff' — Gabriel's tune.

Placing one hand on top of the other in a 'T', Gabriel made it fully aware to Tom it was time to get serious.

A nod from the big guy, had Gabriel strutting to the opposite side of the floor. He swung his hips before adding in an over enthusiastic body roll, grabbing the edges of his shirt and ripping it open, his head back and a growl vibrating from low in his belly.

Buttons flew everywhere; hitting Adrien in the head, landing in Keith's beer glass and almost blinding Kagami with a bullseye shot Félix blocked like a pro ice hockey goalie.

He swung his arms round in a circle and pointed to Tom, his hips bouncing side to side as he really put on a show. Finally, Nino... sorry, Keith, understood what good music was. YES! Fisting his hands and raising them above his head, Gabriel gave a couple of thrusts.; his lips forming a perfect duck pout.

Before anyone could recover from Gabriel's bare, naked torso (complete with a new well toned two-pack), a second set of buttons came flying from nowhere, as Tony revealed his own chest. One the world's strongest man would be proud of.

The two continued to strip their shirts off, moving to the music and playing up the beats to the audience around them.

A squeal was suddenly heard from the other side of the room. Sabrina running forwards and threading euro notes into Tony's belt, the big guy turning his strip tease into the finale of Magic Mike.

A second woman appeared on the floor, flinging her arms over Gabriel's shoulders and grabbing hold of his belt threading... was that a hundred? Into one of his loops. He made a mental note to check her wage.

"The gym's really been working, Gabe." Nathalie's breath smelt like a brewery, the only consolation being his probably did too.

Puffing out his chest a little more, he pulled his assistant close to his body and grind against her just as Adrien and his friends had been all night. Not Adrien with his friends, that would have been a little weird. Adrien with Marinette and his friends with their side pieces for the night... well you get the jist.

A giggle sounded in his ear as Nathalie rested her head on his shoulder and he looked over to where Tony was, fully intending to swap a good old thumbs up; however, it seem Tony and Sabrina were talking in a rather heated discussion with Marinette and Adrien — the former attempting to put her father's shirt back together.

Without warning, Adrien turned his focus on Gabriel, the look in his eyes glistening with determination — but there was no way he was being thrown off this dance floor.

As Marinette marched her mother and father to the nearest table — along with Nosey Rosie — Adrien began making a beeline to him. But he was not going down without a fight! He'd listened to their crap all night, now it was his turn to have some fun.

Using Nathalie like a human shield, Gabriel moved her side to side, blocking Adrien from getting too close.

"Father!" he shouted over the music playing. A twist and a turn had Nathalie in Adrien's arms, the young model moving her once more to end up back with Gabriel."Father!" he tried again, this time a little more sternly.

"Gabriel!" Nathalie struggled to get out of his grasp; however the designer just held her tighter. Adrien would not get past his blockade.

Gabriel giggled like a young school girl, spinning Nathalie with a rather loud 'weeeee' and throwing her to Adrien again.

"Father! Stop this at once."

Spinning himself around, Gabriel laughed, tripping over his foot and stumbling forwards into where Adrien was trying to steady Nathalie.

The momentum of Gabriel's spin and force as he collided with Adrien sent all three of them stumbling backwards.

Time slowed down, Adrien pulling Nathalie to one side, both falling on their asses in the middle of the dance floor; Nathalie seating herself firmly in Adrien's lap.

Where his son and assistant would recover from the minor bruises, Gabriel wasn't as lucky!

Stumbling forward, down a small step and towards the cake stand. He only came to a stop when his face hit the cake... right in the middle. Suffocating himself thanks to the frosting, Gabriel pulled himself from the broken table (wow! Maybe his strength had increased) and combined 'mush' of cake and icing, he looked up at the wide eyed stare of his son and future daughter in law — and the smug grin of his nephew.

A flash suddenly went off to the right and he noticed Rosie standing above him — phone in hand.

It seemed Gabriel would be financially contributing to the wedding after all, praying any photographs from tonight's event wouldn't make their way onto social media.

As Nathalie made her way over with a face like thunder, the alcohol drained from his system and he'd never felt more sober in his life.