This doesn't feel real.
I know it is
But
Having stared over the edge of the world and come back
The progression
The development
The continuation of this story seems
Unreal

I'm not writing this
I know I never was but I thought I understood the author
I thought I knew
I was comfortable
I was happy

But my world died
I shattered to pieces
I picked myself back up because he told me to

He promised me
They promised me he had
He speaks to me every day but I don't always understand
I recognize him, so there's at least that hope

He's taken me here
He lead me here directly
Purposefully
Clearly and obviously
It was him

I was happy and comfortable once
But now I'm empty

This isn't me
It was never me
Why do I feel cheated?
It was him the whole time
But I'm empty

Where's his glory?
It has to be here somewhere
He promises me a place at his table
Do I not believe him?
Do I believe the void has me?
I'm helping those he wanted me to

No I'm not
He is
I'm here
I'm just here
This was never me

Am I to just watch?
Am I to sit and see what he does?
Am I jealous?
Is that what this is?
Is it my pride and jealousy again
Coming to ruin my perspective of life and self and love and truth

I want to love them
I want to love him
I want to love
Where is my heart...

Why is it gone
Where did it go

I'm tired...