Sometimes, my nightmares would be ruthless and they would make me relive my terrible past with my "mother" and "father." Sometimes, my nightmares gave me the usual falling down an endless abyss or dying a painful death. Sometimes, I wouldn't sleep at all. When I was lucky enough - which never happens - I'd get a good full 8 hours of sleep or more without pain and just peace.

But I woke up in a cold sweat from the nightmare that plagued my night. I started to tear up from how hard the nightmare had hit home. It was about Erwin and I. We fought and next thing I knew was that I was kicked out of the Survey Corps and on the street once again. I wiped my tears away and sighed when I glanced at the clock.

8:03 am in the morning. I sat in bed for awhile to get myself together. I realized as I was sitting there. 'It could come true if I don't do anything about it right now...'

I quickly bolted to the bathroom and got ready, putting on (favorite casual outfit) since I was still on my break. I walked downstairs and left a note for Levi before going to headquarters. I zoomed down the streets again, feeling the cool air go through my hair as the window rolled down. I arrived at the place and went straight to Erwin's office, ignoring everything around me.

I knocked on the door and a muffled "come in" greeted me. I opened the door and shut it. I looked up at Erwin who was just doing some paperwork. He sighed and rubbed his temples.

"What do you need (y/n)?" He asked reluctantly. If he thought another argument about my break was coming he thought wrong. I walked up to him and gave him a hug. Not a romantic hug but a father and daughter hug. He leaned back in surprise at my sudden action.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry for being so reckless and selfish lately. I'm sorry for not listening to your orders and I'm sorry you have to deal with me. I wouldn't be surprised if you wouldn't forgive me..." I said. Tears welled up in my eyes but I blinked them away. I pulled away and stood up straight, when I looked at him he was smiling.

"I forgive you. It's partly my fault for putting this all on you. I understand..." He got up and put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry for all the things I said in the beginning. You really are my father, you're there for me even when I'm becoming a rebellious teenager." I joked. He chuckled and looked at me straight in the eyes.

"(Y/n), I want what's best for you. I want you to be happy and live your life. So please...open up more. Smile a bit, maybe even laugh. You can't stay emotionless forever-" I cut him off.

"Levi will," I said. We stared at each other in silence before he chuckled. I genuinely smiled a small smile and he looked pleased.

"There you go. Now, get out of my office and enjoy your break." He said. I nodded and gave him one last hug before leaving. Once I closed the door to his office I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me. I sighed and my lips twitch upward.

"Live my life, huh?" I mumbled. As I tapped the walls while going down the hall. It was a little habit I did when I would be lost in thought. I reached the elevator and pushed the button for the lobby. Once I exited I went into my car and drove home. I walked into my house to be smacked in the face with the smell of lemon spray, detergent, and bleach.

"I'm home!" I called out. I walked into the kitchen and saw Levi scrubbing the floors. He was working hard and was wearing an apron and a yellow cloth to keep his hair out of his face. He had big, yellow rubber gloves covering his sleek, slender hands - why am I thinking about his hands?

The odd thing overcame me though, the moment he glanced at me my heart beat quickened. I felt pterodactyls in my stomach. I look away and go upstairs to avoid his gaze.

'Just as I feared...awkward...' I thought. I bit my lip and closed the door to my room. A couple of hours of relaxing I decided to go to the cafe nearby. Boredom was getting to me. I grabbed my phone and called out to Levi, "I'll be back!"

With that, I shut the door and walked to the cafe. It was a vintage, small cafe with good coffee and tea. I entered in and waved at the worker who knew me as a regular. She waved and grinned when I walked up to her.

"The usual, Rose?" I nodded. I used my alias knowing that there could be spies or undercover workers. I paid her the right amount and left a little tip in the container. She got to work after that and I sat down in my usual spot which was a comfortable armchair next to the window where you could see the street. I gazed out the window when the worker came up to me and gave me my (coffee/tea) with (favorite flavor and stuff). I thanked her and took a sip, sighing with content. A woman then sat across from me and instantly started to type on her computer. I glance at her but minding my own business, trying to ignore the tapping of her long nails on the keyboard.

When I finally had enough of this woman ruining my peace I froze when I got a good look at her. She had brown hair in a tight bun with little pieces framing her face. A pair of glasses made her (e/c) eyes glossy and she had a tired look on her face. I almost dropped my drink right then and there. 

Because right in front of me, after almost 15 years, was my mother that walked out of my life.

I sat there gaping at her until she finally looked at me. Her eyes were bright but tired, I assume from work. She looked a lot better than before when she had me. 

"Uh, can I help you?" Her voice ringed in my ears. It was her. That same voice that yelled at me 15 years ago. I cleared my throat after realizing I was just staring at her awkwardly.

"Uhm...no, sorry. You just looked familiar..." I trailed off. She wanted me out of her life, so I would grant her wish. I pretended to look back out the window while she shrugged and went back to her work. My heart pounded against my chest. She was right here, right in front of me. I felt regret and guilt cloud my mind. 

'It's your fault she walked out of your life.'

'You were the spawn of Satan in a human girl's body.'

'If you kept your mouth shut then maybe you would be on good terms with her.'

'She wouldn't be suffering.'

'Now that you're out of her life she's completely forgotten about you.'

I felt tears run down my cheeks as the thoughts piled up. A huge weight then hung on my shoulders. When I thought everything was good despite the life I lived, my past would always come back to haunt me.

"-you okay?" I heard the woman ask. I wiped my tears away and nodded.

"Yeah...just a long day," I told her. She got a good look at me and squinted her eyes.

"You look familiar, have we met before?" She suddenly asked. I panicked and shook my head.

"Doubt it." I lied. She blinked at me then went back to write something down. 

"You're lying." She said. I looked at her and she was staring at me.

"You actually think I wouldn't remember my own daughter? My own flesh and blood?" My heart stopped and I looked down at my lap.

"You disowned me. I am no longer your daughter. I understand it was my fault that I ruined your life and that I'm the devil. I fully understand that. So there's no need to yell at me again." I whispered. 

"I shouldn't yell at you. Or else I would look like a crazy person." She said.

"I don't forgive you and I don't expect you to do the same. You were the one that ruined my life after all." She continued. I flinched and felt tears in my eyes but I held them. My hands fiddled with themselves as I heard nothing. After a few minutes, I looked up again to see she was gone, along with her stuff. All there was on the place she once sat was a paper. I stood up and read the paper.

----

(y/n),

Don't think I've forgotten about you. What you don't know is that you haunt me, every single day of my life. Every time I close my eyes, your tear-stricken face appears. The look of horror in your eyes. The bruises that lined your neck and stomach from that day. It all appears in my dreams and thoughts. It disgusts me that even though I left you, you still are there.

I assume someone took you in after I left you. Even though I said words that echo in my mind, I made a promise to myself. That if I ever saw you, I would give you this note.

If you're wondering how I've been. Don't. It's better if we stay out of each other's lives. I think we're better off not seeing each other. I think that if we forgot each other, we wouldn't hurt as much.

Forget me and I'll forget you. 

Goodbye, (y/n).

-(mother's name)

----

I cried when I entered my home. Sobs choked me. Tears flowed down and sobs wracked my body. I closed the door and slid down it. I broke down. For once, I broke down. Levi heard me and came into the living room to see what was the matter. Once he instantly saw me, he immediately went to my side. He put his arm around my shoulder awkwardly. 

He obviously wasn't used to comforting someone. 

After a few minutes, he finally relaxed and pulled me into his chest. I cried, making his shirt wet but he didn't care. I felt safe in Levi's arms and that lulled me to sleep. All I could hear before darkness consumed me was his whispers.

"It's okay, brat..."

"I'm here with you."

-----

A/N: Sup' ma doods! I told you things would spiral down into hell! But this is just a taste of what's gonna happen during this two-week break (y/n) and Levi have.

So, (y/n) made up with Erwin and feeling like she was free. But then she finally got to see her mother after almost 15 years. And the thing she says is to forget her. It definitely struck a nerve in (y/n) that caused her to break down. Who wouldn't? After seeing her, Levi was there to comfort (y/n) despite being a little awkward about it.

Levi unknowingly pulled (y/n)'s heartstrings when she saw him in the kitchen. He even amazed her when he instantly came to her aid once she came home. Call them partners in crime I guess!

Welp, that's all I have to say about this.

Hope you enjoyed!

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Published: April 2, 2017

Edited ✔️