For once in his goddamn life, Daryl was eternally grateful that Rosie wasn't where he expected her to be. He expected her to be in the bedroom they'd been staying in, maybe drawing or reading something, no doubt avoiding talking to anyone. But she wasn't there. She was somewhere else. Maybe with Ian, maybe with Henry, maybe playing with Judith. But thank God she wasn't there. Because on the floor in front of Daryl were pieces of green fabric, all piled together.

The fabric just so happened to be the fabric that made up Fraser's green hoodie. Mrs. Johnson had been trying to fix it, sewing up the tear in the side, just before she passed. The job was never finished, and a nice old woman offered to do the rest. Daryl wasn't sure if the hoodie ever got to the old lady or not. Last he'd seen it, it was left in Mrs. Johnson's room, which was now just Liam's. Rosie had been waiting so patiently for that hoodie to be fixed. She'd been doing so well. And now the hoodie was on the floor, cut up into small bits and pieces. Who the fuck had done this?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Daryl kept muttering under his breath, trying to figure out what to do. What was there to do? It wasn't like he or anyone else could fix it. On top of that, he couldn't just hide it and pretend it never happened. Rosie would eventually get impatient and ask where the hoodie was and how long until it would be fixed. So what the fuck was he supposed to do? This was a nightmare scenario. This was going to tear Rosie's heart right out of her chest. She was going to freak out. She was going to have some sort of horrible, painful meltdown that Daryl wouldn't know how to stop. Who the fuck would do something like that? Who had done this?

"Hey," Maggie's voice said, startling Daryl just a little bit. Maggie was approaching from down the hall. "We found Rosie. She was just outside, talking to Liam. I told her you're back," Maggie said.

"She can't come in here," Daryl said, turning away from the pile of torn-up fabric to look at Maggie.

Maggie's eyebrows pinched together. "What's wrong?" she asked. Her question was answered when she reached the doorway and saw what used to be Fraser's hoodie lying on the ground.

Before either of them could say anything, two voices echoed from down the hall. "Why're you followin' me?" That was Rosie's voice. "I'm just goin' to say hi to Daryl."

"I'm not following. I'm just going this way, too," Liam murmured in response.

Panicked and unsure of what to do, Maggie stepped back out into the hall. "Hey, Rosie," she said, trying to keep her cool. She wasn't even sure why they were trying to hide it in the first place. Rosie would find out sooner or later. Might as well get it over with, right? "Um, why don't we go get something to eat, and Daryl will meet us down there? Huh?" Maggie offered, conjuring up a fake smile.

Rosie seemed to buy into this distraction until Liam spoke up. "Why?" he asked, raising his eyebrows a little bit. "Are you hiding something?"

After a moment, Rosie's eyebrows furrowed. Yes, Liam was right. Why couldn't she just say hi to Daryl now? He was just in the room. It would only take a moment. And why did Maggie's voice seem so shaky?

"What? What's wrong?" Rosie asked, looking up at Maggie's face skeptically. Maggie didn't know what to do. "Why're you-? What's wrong? What's goin' on?" Rosie asked, becoming more panicked. She stepped forward, going towards the room, and Maggie didn't even try to stop her. When she reached the doorway, she saw Daryl standing next to the bed. He was fine. Why was everyone acting so weird? Rosie looked at Daryl's eyes, just in case there were any eye words she was missing out on. But he was just looking down at the floor. Once he noticed that Rosie was looking at him, Daryl's eyes flicked up to meet hers. She could see the panic inside of them. Her eyes went down to the floor now, too. They landed on a pile of shredded green fabric. It looked like someone had taken a knife or scissors to the green fabric and torn it up.

That green's the same as Fraser's hoodie's green, Rosie thought to herself. Only a moment later, it all came together in her head. They were acting weird because that green was Fraser's hoodie's green. The torn-up bits of fabric were torn-up bits of Fraser's hoodie.

Her stomach dropped. "What- what's-? No. No. What happened? What-?" Rosie said, her voice breaking.

"I'll take you back to your old house. You can get another one a' his hoodies, Rose," Daryl tried, unsure of what else to offer her.

"No. That one- that one was his favorite. I can't- I can't.... No, no, no, no," Rosie managed to say. Her hands went up to her hair, pulling on the roots as he eyes started to flood with tears. "No. No! He- he wore that one! He wore it almost every day! I can't get a different one! That one's his favorite!" Rosie began shouting. She felt like she couldn't breathe- like her lungs were punctured and her heart had stopped beating. Rosie looked around, her eyes wide as she tried not to look at what was left of the hoodie. Maggie was outside the doorway, her eyes wide and sad. Daryl was a little closer than before, but still near the bed. He looked sad, too, but he also looked anxious. Liam was in the doorway. Rosie couldn't tell what emotion he was feeling. His eyes looked angry but the corner of his lip was quirked upward ever so slightly. Liam looked away, pressing his lips into a thin line. Rosie's face burned. "It was- it was in your room. You had it!" Rosie shouted at Liam, taking a step closer to him. His facial muscles twitched, and Rosie didn't know why. "What happened?" Rosie asked. Liam didn't answer. "What happened?!"

"Calm down. Jeez. You're acting like you did in kindergarten," Liam responded, a look on his face that looked both angry and amused. Rosie stared at him, processing it all. "It's just a hoodie. You're so weird."

"Liam," Maggie said, warning him.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Rosie lurched forward and tackled Liam to the ground. She landed a punch on his left cheekbone. She could hear Maggie and Daryl shouting, but she couldn't hear what they were saying. Her ears were ringing too loudly. She managed to punch Liam two more times before she was pulled off of him. Daryl held her back by the arms and she struggled against his hold.

As soon as Rosie was off of him, Liam jumped up. "There's something really fucking wrong with you, Rosie," Liam shouted before storming off. Rosie tried pulling away from Daryl to run after him, but Daryl wouldn't let up.

"No! No! Let me go! It's not fair! He did it! He did it! Let me- let me go!" Rosie screamed, hitting and kicking Daryl. Daryl kept saying her name, trying to get her attention but she wouldn't listen- she couldn't listen. Fraser's hoodie was torn apart on the floor and Rick was going to kill Coach Smith and no one would listen to her. So how could she listen to anyone else right now? "You said she was gonna fix it! You said so! He- he cut it up! He ruined it! Let me go! I gotta- I gotta-" Rosie wasn't sure what the end of her sentence was. Her brain wanted her to say I gotta hurt him. But her mouth wouldn't let her say it.

"I know, I know. I know, Rosie," Daryl said.

"No! You aren't listenin'!" Rosie shouted. She managed to pull away from him, but before she could get to the door, Maggie closed it and stood right in front of it. Rosie's hands went to her face for a moment, pushing so hard into her eyes that it made her entire head throb. "He cut it up! You can't fix it! It's gone!" she screamed. Her hands moved back up to her hair.

"Rosie," Daryl said, grabbing Rosie's wrists and holding her hands down away from her face.

"No!" Rosie shouted at him, trying to pull away. She squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to look at him.

"Rosie, I know you're-"

"No!"

"I know you're mad, but ya gotta stop doin' that," Daryl said, trying his best not to yell. He wanted to yell at her to stop it! and calm the hell down!, but that had never worked and it never would. "We can go back, get another hoodie. Hear me?" Daryl asked.

"No!" Rosie shouted again. Her chin dropped down to her chest, trying to hide her face with her hair. She couldn't breathe.

"You gotta breathe, darlin'," Daryl said.

"No. No. It was his favorite! It was his favorite," Rosie cried, struggling to even process any of his words. Neither Maggie nor Daryl knew what to do to help her. "It was his favorite, Daryl. It was his favorite," Rosie managed to say between sobs. She ripped her left hand out of Daryl's grasp and raised it up to her chest, pressing down on her sternum. Her lungs burned so badly. "I can't- I can't breathe! I can't breathe," Rosie said.

Maggie approached them, her hand going to Rosie's back and rubbing up and down. "You're ok. Just take a deep breath for us, honey," Maggie said, her voice sweet and calm. She was going to be a good mother to her baby, Rosie had always thought.

"I c- I can't!" Rosie sobbed.

"In and out, hon. In and out," Maggie said, breathing in and out with her. Rosie's eyes opened again and she looked up at the ceiling, still trying to get her breathing to match Maggie's.

After a moment, Rosie's eyes went to Daryl's. "I can't breathe, Daryl. I can't," Rosie said to him, her eyes wide and panicky. She had felt this way back in that cell at the Sanctuary. Negan had helped her that time. She felt so bad about it afterward, but he helped her. "I can't breathe."

"Yes, you can. Listen to Maggie. In and out, Rose," Daryl said. Rosie's eyes began to dart around the room again. She tried to turn back around to look at the hoodie again, just to make sure she hadn't imagined it. But when Rosie tried to turn her head, Daryl brought his hand up to her cheek and turned her head back to face him. It was like if she saw that hoodie, she'd see Fraser's dead body on the ground, right there, in front of her. Her breathing was still erratic. "Rose, ya gotta listen to Maggie. Ya gotta take some deep breaths."

"But it was- it was his-" Rosie tried to say.

"I know. I know. Just breathe, darlin'," Daryl said, crouched down in front of her.

"I can't!" Rosie cried. She bowed her head down again, trying to hide her face. This time, though, she took a step closer to Daryl and leaned the top of her head against his shoulder. Taking this movement as a way of Rosie saying I'm not going to hit or kick you anymore, Daryl wrapped his arms around her and picked her up, bringing her over to the other side of the room before sitting down on the bed with her. He looked at Maggie, using his eyes to say please get the hoodie out of here and go find Liam. Rosie couldn't read his eye words, because her eyes were closed and her face was hidden away, but also because that eye sentence was far too long for her to decipher.

As Rosie was held in Daryl's arms, she tried her best to calm herself down. She listened to his breathing, trying to match hers to it. The bum-bum, bum-bum of his heart in his chest seemed to help, too. But that hoodie. Fraser had worn it almost every single day and now it was destroyed. Why would Liam have done that? What did Rosie do to deserve it? Was it because she wanted to forgive Negan? Was it because she snuck out to read the letter to Negan? Was this some sort of karma?

"You can't fix it this time," Rosie cried, her voice shaky and broken. Daryl could always fix everything. Back at the quarry in Atlanta, he was always fixing messed-up bolts for his crossbow. Then Carol was able to get most of the blood out of Rosie's crocodile shirt. And Mrs. Johnson was going to fix the hoodie. He'd been able to fix anything or find someone who could fix anything, up until now. Now it was broken and no one could fix it. Not even Daryl. "It's gone. Fraser's gone, too. Everyone's gone."

"I'm right here," Daryl told her, squeezing her extra tight for just a moment to remind her. Rosie just cried harder. Because for how long would Daryl be right there? Negan was going to kill him. And if Negan didn't kill him, then it'd be because Rick killed Negan. And Rosie didn't want to lose him, either. But if she had to choose- oh, God, that'd be so hard. If she had to choose now, she supposed she would choose Daryl. Because Daryl had always chosen her, even when he didn't want anything to do with her whatsoever. And Negan had been choosing power over Rosie for what felt like a long time now. And maybe she was biased, just because Daryl was right there with her in that moment, saying sh, sh, sh, you're ok, you're ok into her ear.

"I talked to Negan," Rosie found herself admitting without meaning to. She was still crying, but she could now breathe again. Either way, she wasn't sure why she was telling Daryl this. It was supposed to be a secret. No one was supposed to know. Maybe it was because she felt like admitting to this would make the karma go away. It didn't work like that, though. "I left and I talked to him on the walkie. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she said.

Daryl's hold on her loosened for a moment. It was quick, but not quick enough for it to go unnoticed.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Rosie kept saying, her breathing getting quicker and quicker all over again.

"We're not talkin' about that now. Later," Daryl told her, rubbing her back up and down, like Maggie had before, in hopes of making her breathing slow back down again. All he wanted to do was yell and yell and yell and yell. He wanted to scream at her for putting herself in danger like that again. He wanted to say a thousand things.

You outta your fuckin' mind?!

What the hell were you thinkin'?!

You know what Negan could do?!

You coulda' gotten bit!

You were shot just a week ago!

You're selfish for goin' out there like that!

Maybe Negan had the right fuckin' idea, lockin' you in that room!

Why won't you just do as your told?!

I'm trying to keep you safe!

Can't you ever just listen to me?!

You know how much it'd hurt me to lose you?!

You know how much I love you?!

He didn't say any of it.

At least she had made it back alive.

"I don't- I don't know what to do," Rosie cried.

"All you gotta do is breathe, darlin'," Daryl told her. He wished he could tell her that it was ok, that she didn't have to worry, because he would fix it. But that wasn't true this time.

Rosie didn't think she deserved this. Yes, she was wondering what she had done to make Liam do what he did- to make him tear apart the hoodie that meant the world to Rosie. But, at the same time, what had she done to deserve this? She had been screaming, crying, kicking, and hitting like a baby having a temper tantrum, and Daryl didn't even tell her to stop it! or calm the hell down! In fact, he hadn't told her to do anything but to breathe. He used to be a complete stranger to her, and now he was holding her and calling her darlin' despite the fact that she was acting like- like Liam said- a kindergartener.

Daryl just seemed to understand, somehow.

What Rosie didn't know was that it was because he saw his own young, blue eyes in hers. Somehow, by helping her and giving her the comfort that he used to so badly crave, he was healing not only Rosie, but himself, too. If he screamed at her for acting like this- for acting like this because of something so catastrophically important to her- he'd be no better than his father.

If this were David, Rosie would've been belted already. Sure, there were times when he understood. The few weeks after Fraser died, he seemed to understand. He didn't hit Rosie or hurt her intentionally at all for those weeks, even if she screamed and cried. But, at the same time, he didn't comfort her, either. She would cry and wrap her arms around her abdomen, squeezing herself tight, but David wouldn't do a goddamn thing. He would ignore her completely. She'll get over it, he'd always tell himself.

"I..." Rosie began to say. But her voice broke off and she didn't want to finish her sentence anymore. It just seemed impossible. It was like she just couldn't speak.

"Shh, sh, sh," Daryl murmured. He could feel her heartbeat beginning to slow back down its normal rate. That was a good sign, at least. Now all he had to do was figure out what the hell he was going to do. Rosie wouldn't just get over this. That was her dead brother's hoodie. Her dead brother who was actually, genuinely good to her. He had to figure out something to make up for it. Maybe, once she calmed down, she'd agree to going back there, to her old house, to get something else of Fraser's.

For now, though, all he did was lay back on the bed, his legs still hanging off the edge at the knees. Rosie went down with him, still clinging to him with her arms wrapped around his shoulders. Daryl's left hand went up to rub his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose, while his right armed stayed wrapped around Rosie, holding her to his chest. Rosie listened to the beat of his heart, trying to get herself to stop crying.

•

Maggie had hurried downstairs after taking care of the hoodie. Liam didn't have his mom to help him anymore. Even if he had done a bad thing, Maggie couldn't just let him bleed out of his nose all alone with no help whatsoever. So she went looking for him.

But Liam was nowhere to be seen. There were some bloody paper towels left in the garbage, but other than that, there was no trace of him. A gun, two boxes of bullets, a knife, four cans of food, and his backpack had disappeared with him.

As soon as she was sure that Liam was really gone, Maggie sent out people to look for him. He had torn Rosie's heart to shreds, but he was a boy who had just lost his mother. Carl had only been about half a year older than Liam when he lost his mother. Carl had shot that boy at the prison, and Liam cut Fraser's hoodie to shreds. Grief could do funny things to a person.

Only, the difference with Liam was that he'd already had this idea before he had even lost his mother. He'd had this idea since Daryl handed the hoodie over to Mrs. Johnson, back in Alexandria. Liam didn't know why he wanted to do it. He just did. Maybe he was just angry. But the death of his mother was the deciding factor. Yes, that had to be it. Liam was just angry. Maybe angry at himself, maybe at the world. But the world would never get better; it would probably get worse. At best, it would just stay the same. So Liam was angry.

🦖🦕🦖🦕

A little light at the end of a devastating chapter:

More amazing art work by Peoloaz !!! I wanted to add it at the end of last chapter but I forgot lol. I love Rosie's little jurassic park shirt 😭

Anyway. Sorry to make everything so terrible and sad lately, but I am setting things up for the future 😈 it'll all come together in the end. Next chapter will be a little bittersweet and I'm excited to write it