WHEN CAROLINA DIXON WAS YOUNGER, she used to sneak into the basement. Buried in old torn blankets, curled up in front of the couch with the old barely functioning fireplace going. At 5 years old- Carolina would sit, falling asleep in front of the TV as movies she probably shouldn't have been watching played. Her eyes would flutter open and closed each time a noise was made. It was a nightly routine for the young girl. She would wait. Wait and wonder when her dad, was going to come home.

At 14 years old Carolina Dixon felt like her life was still trapped in a constant circle of wondering.  It reminded her of the dingy old basement that smelled like cigarettes and whatever her father had been drinking. Those nights of having to stay quiet to make sure she didn't disturb anyone so her dad wouldn't get in trouble. Most of all it reminded her of those same late nights of waiting because at 14 years old Carolina was still stuck doing so as she wondered when her dad was coming home.

Now of course what she had done as a child was a little different than the way things were now. A lot different actually. There was no curling up and watching movies or falling asleep by the fire. No cigarettes or alcohol, none of that. Now, in fact, there was no even calling to see if he was coming home - not that he answered even when this was an option.  It wasn't the same situation, but to Carolina, it felt like it. That was because even now, she was still always left alone, worried and hoping that he would come back alive.

Atlanta, that's where he was. She didn't know why he had volunteered to go, he didn't even like any of these people. In fact, she was pretty sure her Uncle Daryl and him were getting ready to rob them for supplies. Yet when they had put together a group to make a run into the city, Merle Dixon had been the first to raise his hand. 

Honestly, when it came down to it Carolina was sure that it was simply because he wanted to kill the things they had been calling walkers. However, either way, he was gone, and her uncle had gone off on a hunt. So Carolina Dixon was left alone, again.

"Hey, Carolina- do you mind keeping an eye on Carl? I'm going to go look for some more firewood," Sharpening a piece of wood with the knife she'd gotten from Daryl, Carolina was interrupted by the voice of Lori Grimes. A soft-eyed woman who had been trying to take care of her since she had first been introduced to Merle.

At first, Carolina didn't respond to the question, hoping maybe the woman would go off and ask someone else to complete the talk, but after a moment Lori repeated herself. "Carolina, hon?" The girl let out a sigh and moved to shove her knife into her pocket.

"Yes ma'am."  Her voice was quiet while she spoke, refusing to meet the older woman's eyes. Looking into an adult's eyes was disrespectful, that's what she'd been taught. Lori rolled her eyes a little bit at her response, a small smile lacing her face as she nudged the younger girl's arm.

"What have I told you about calling me ma'am?" Carolina glanced up at the woman nervously almost immediately. Lori had told her before not to, she said it made her feel old. So Carolina expected to find her annoyed or scolding at the fact that she'd forgotten again, but instead, she was met with an even brighter grin.

Carolina paused before she blinked in her direction trying to decipher why Lori was smiling, why she wasn't upset. So she spoke figuring an apology would be the best option.

"Sorry,"

"Don't be sorry hon, I'm only messing with you," The words caused Carolina to swallow hard, embarrassment creeping into her already reddened cheeks.

"Oh." Lori's smile softened and she gently tapped Carolina's back before walking away as Carl Grimes - Lori's 12-year-old son- came bouncing towards her.

Carl Grimes was possibly the most interesting kid Carolina had ever met. Only 2 years younger than her, he seemed to follow her around like a little lost puppy dog; which was probably why every time Lori needed to leave she asked Carolina to watch him. It's not like she minded, he was almost like the little brother she had never had.

His being this way didn't stop Carolina from being confused. After all, Lori had an older son Carolina's age, so why didn't she just ask him? Better yet - why did she never ask Shane,
- another survivor- who seemed to be forcing himself into a fatherly role?

Truthfully she never bothered to ask, in her dad's words it was "Better to keep her mouth shut and mind her damn business." Besides if she had to hang around someone at the camp? Carl seemed like the best option. He was a kid, satisfied with doing anything. That didn't mean, however, that she wouldn't question it quietly.

Moving to put her hair up Carolina bit her lip and glanced towards the 12-year-old boy. She wished she had a mirror to make sure all the lumps were down and her hair was even, but the last mirror she had- had broken into pieces shortly before the world ended. So she had to settle for wearing a baseball cap to cover it instead.

Thinking back on it, she had told the story about the mirror once, Glenn - another survivor at the camp - had piped in to make a joke about 7 years of bad luck and how maybe it was her breaking the mirror that launched them into the apocalypse.

When Carolina had paled and began panicking, Glenn scrambled to try and tell her it was a joke. Tried to say he wasn't being serious, but the damage was done. Carolina took superstition very seriously. And she would never forget that statement. As far as she was concerned, the world ending could all lead back to that damn broken mirror.

"Hey Carl- you want to go work on catching frogs?"  She had opened her mouth to speak, to ask him what he wanted to do, but instead of hearing her own words, she heard the voice of Shane Walsh- a former cop - who hated Carolina.

Carolina had only met the man several times. But for some reason he hated her. To him it didn't matter that Lori trusted her enough to watch Carl, it didn't even matter that Carl wanted to hang out with Carolina. Shane Walsh had decided on day one that he hated Merle Dixon, and so because of the fact that he hated her father, it was simple. Shane also hated Carolina Dixon.

"Mom told me to stick with Lina," the girl cringed slightly at the nickname but remained silent while she avoided Shane's eyes.  She hated when people looked at her the way he was. She hated when people looked at her in general.

"Well, I think your Momma would be alright if you came with me instead."

Carl's eyebrows crinkled. He glanced between Carolina and Shane like he was being asked a life-or-death question. Then his eyes landed on her and he tilted his head. It was like he was seeing if it would be okay with her.

"It's okay Carl you go, I was going to go lie down anyways," the 14-year-old lied sending him a smile. It didn't meet her eyes. Carl of course didn't notice and shrugged while following Shane. Leaving her alone, again.

She didn't go to lie down. She positioned her pillow to make it look like she had done so - not that anyone would check - but she didn't lay down. She grabbed her notebook and her book on plants and went into the woods. Only her small pocket knife to protect her.

Living in a survivor's camp wasn't the most interesting. So Carolina had to find something to do. The most recent was climbing trees. It wasn't the safest but it was something to pass the time. Frankly, Carolina was beginning to love it.

It was easy. She used her knife and climbed. Her eyes wandered to the different leaves and berries as she positioned herself safely on a branch. It was her favorite thing. Spending time looking at the plants and sketching them down in her notebook before matching them to the book she'd gotten from the library right before the dead started walking. Plants were like her friends, only they were always there, they didn't leave.

If her dad found out what she was doing, Carolina was sure he'd call her " stupid girl," and tell her to " stop trying to be brave cause she ain't."  It wasn't like it was really dangerous, but he wouldn't care, he never did.

The thought of him scolding her made her stomach churn with anxiety but she shoved it down with the rest of her negative emotions. She couldn't stop. She wanted to prove that she was brave, so maybe instead of being left behind - she could go with him and Daryl.

Over and over again Carolina sunk her knife into the tree. It was a good distraction from the fact that her dad hadn't gotten back yet. Was climbing the tree like this safe? No, she knew that. She didn't care. If her Dad and Uncle could leave her without caring, then she could climb trees.

To be honest, Carolina didn't even think about how high the tree she was climbing was. At least until her knife began to slip. She twisted it in the tree preparing to move and the sweat from her hand caused her grip to loosen. At first, her eyes narrowed, and then she caught a glance at the ground.

"Fuck," she'd mumbled. The words of Lori telling her to watch her language immediately came to mind as the words left her lips. She was 14 and the world had ended. But Lori hated any time she tried to curse and Carolina wasn't quite sure why.

Her hands slipped slightly again and she tried to reposition herself. A small grunt left her lips and she tried instead to use her upper body to pull herself over the branch. Her foot had been close to getting on top and hooking over and she felt a split second of hope. Then that hope faded.

Instead of doing what she had intended, she felt her hands slip again. This time she wasn't lucky enough to be able to stabilize herself. Instead, she had to prepare to hit the ground.

Her Dad was going to kill her.

Falling to the ground, a small scream left her lips. Her eyes shut as she prepared for the worst. So when she instead landed in a pair of arms, she could feel her heart practically leap out of her chest.

It took her a second to realize that she was actually being held by someone. She wasn't exactly familiar with human touch, other than the occasional time her dad would grab her to get her to come with him. So this was weird.

Hugs weren't the normal in the Dixon family. The normal in the Dixon family included her Uncle and Dad at each other's throats and generally some sort of physical violence. Never to her, but to each other. According to Daryl- her mom used to be the one who could get them to stop. She wasn't around anymore. So being held wasn't something she remembered feeling.

When she heard a throat clear she peeked one of her eyes open. She could make out the figure of the person and she bit down on her lip. Her stomach twisted in knots.

It took her a second to fully open her eyes. Swallowing harshly as she hesitated. When she finally did, she was met with the rather serious face of Shane.

"I uh- I." Carolina was trying to form words but instead, she shifted awkwardly. She wanted Shane to put her down but he hadn't yet and she didn't know why.

At first thought, she figured Shane was just angry. But after a minute she noticed him scanning her for injuries before he gently let her down. Carolina was confused- he didn't like her. Why did he save her?

"Thank you, Officer Shane."She stared at her feet.

"What the hell were you thinking climbing a tree that high? Are you trying to get yourself killed?" The gentle look was replaced by anger while Shane snapped at her and she flinched.

"I was just climbing."

"If you were just climbing I wouldn't have had to catch you when you were falling now would I?"

Carolina went quiet and crossed her arms. She still didn't look up at the man in front of her. Who was he to tell her what to do? He was just some stupid cop. Her dad always told her not to trust cops.

"You going to start explaining or is this going to be something I have to have your Dad deal with when he gets back." Carolina's head shot up. Her eyes wide and afraid.

"Please don't," the words left her lips faster than she could think of them. "I won't do it again I swear." It's not that she was scared of her dad exactly. She just didn't like when he got angry.

Shane stared at her for a second. As if he was debating whether or not he should. However, the fact that he hated Merle Dixon seemed to win out in the end, because he agreed to not say anything.

"You stick with someone - an adult the rest of the day. The last thing we need is you getting hurt when we don't even know where our people are."
Carolina was so focused on the relief that he wasn't going to tell her dad that she didn't even hear the last part.

Scowling at the remark about staying with an adult, Carolina followed Shane back to camp. She didn't understand why he was allowed to tell her to do anything. But she also wasn't about to talk back. He would just tell her dad.

When they arrived back at the camp- everyone was panicked. At first, Carolina was confused, then she saw Amy looking around nervously.

Lori was sitting running her hand through Carl's hair nervously and the rest of the camp seemed on edge. No one was talking. Carolina's heart dropped into her stomach.

They weren't back yet. She had known that- but she didn't know they were trapped. In a department store, that was surrounded by walkers. This wasn't good.

Merle Dixon was an idiot. She would never say that to his face, he was her dad. However, Merle Dixon was an idiot.

Maybe it wasn't the case, but if she were to say whose fault it was that the group was trapped? She would say him. The truth was he didn't care about the trouble or damage he caused, as long as he got to do what he wanted. That had been true for a long time.

"Do we send more people in?" Carolina said after a while. She broke the silence around her.

"No."

"Yes."

Amy and Shane spoke up at the same time. Immediately they glared at each other.

"We can't just-"

"No way. We do not go after them. We do not risk the rest of the group. Y'all know that." Carolina's eyes moved back and forth between the two.

"My sister is there you son of a bitch!" Amy shoved him back. "She volunteered to go to help the rest of us,"

Carolina glanced around the rest of camp, the arguing had gained everyone's attention but they were all silent. Most clearly wanted to disagree with Shane but wouldn't speak.

Carolina waited for a moment, before looking to see the reactions. Maybe someone would say something?

For a moment the girl made eye contact with Alex Grimes- Lori's older son. He looked like he disagreed with Shane and was searching for anyone who disagreed. Carolina nodded at him, trying to show support. Instead of saying anything he narrowed his eyes and turned back to the argument.

No one wanted to agree with a Dixon.

A decision had been made. Amy stormed away, followed by Lori who sent a look to Shane. Everything suddenly felt quiet. Sitting down on a nearby rock Carolina pulled her knees to her chest. She could feel eyes watching her and assumed it was just Alex glaring at her again. So it was a big surprise when instead- he sat next to her.

She wasn't going to be the first one to speak. Alex didn't like her. He'd said maybe two words to her since they had first met - one of which was his name. He didn't like her. So why was he now sitting next to her?

"Your dad is probably fine," the teenage boy spoke and glanced towards her through the side of his eye. Her own eyes narrowed wondering why he was saying this. "I mean isn't he like some big tough guy or whatever? I'm sure he's fine."

Carolina stared at him.

"My dad is an idiot who thinks shooting his gun to attract walkers is fun. I don't think he's ever been fine." Her voice was blunt but she still didn't look at him. It was weird- she didn't know why he was talking to her. Wasn't he glaring at her barely 5 minutes ago. She could hear him breathe in as if trying not to laugh and he shook his head.

"Hey I mean- my dad got shot like a week before the world ended and he was a cop. Sometimes the things we least expect happen. So maybe your dad will be fine."

It took Carolina a second to process what the boy in front of her had just said. What did his dad getting shot have to do with her dad being an idiot who would probably get himself killed?

Oh, she realized after a moment. He was making a joke about both of their dads. She turned her head to look at him trying to confirm but his face was blank. At least it was until she started giggling while shaking her head. It shouldn't have been funny but it was. Maybe because of the situation? Or maybe because Carolina wasn't expecting it.

No matter what the reason really was . Carolina laughed and after a second, Alex's face broke into a smile and he laughed too. The situation was terrible. His dad was dead and hers probably would be soon. Laughing shouldn't have been the response, but it worked. Even though the world was ending- they were still kids.

After a second, the silence between the two returned, though the tension had eased. Carolina counted this as a win- he at least wasn't glaring at her anymore.

Of course, this didn't stop the silence from being any less weird. It also didn't stop Shane Walsh from glaring at the two from a distance, for reasons unknown to Carolina. But none of that really mattered. Not when the sudden blaring of a car alarm started and a red car in the distance made its way toward camp. With no one knowing who was behind the wheel.