Christian Pulisic / Felix Passlack

A letter I will never send to you!

Dear someone I will never forget,

It would have been better had you fucked my body instead of fucking up my mind. I would have made my body forget you as if it never knew you. But now, I don't know what the hell should I do with that mind that refuses to forget anything of you?
When you told me, you found the one, I said that I was happy for you and asked, "who's she?" You sent her photograph, I saw it and said "wow she's so pretty. And you both look great together." You were all thank you and oh so flattered.
Honestly, I don't know who was kidding with whom?

You, by showing me that yes I didn't matter to you anymore, you have completely forgotten what we had and you were now happy with someone?
If it was so, then did you want to prove it to me in the first place? Did you want to see me jealous?

Or

Was it me, telling you that yes it didn't matter to me because I have moved on too?
That her good looks didn't make me think if I wasn't pretty enough as per your standards?

And as always the truth got stuck somewhere between all our lies, pretense, hits and trials of assuring if the other still had any feelings left.

I safely moved you away without feeling any guilt. But the hole in my heart that I was trying to fill up was now dug again, deeper and with something sharper which not only freshened the old wound but made me cringe with a ne sort of pain.

And this time your moving, moved me in a way that I went out to seek something I didn't want and someone whom I couldn't know, the way I had tried knowing you from the core, in every bit and piece, more and more, never getting enough of knowing.

So eventually, he left and blamed me,
Just like I had left and blamed you.

I hope you read this someday, somewhere and realize that the words are by me for you without reading my name.
(Not) Yours someone,
whom you pretend to not remember but do.

Behutsam legt Christian den Brief in seinen Nachttisch. Irgendwann wird er Felix den Brief geben, ob persönlich oder durch etwas anderes. Jetzt noch nicht. Doch irgendwann, irgendwann wird Felix den Brief lesen.

Dieser Oneshot ist für die liebe @MC_LiLaLiM . Ich hoffe er gefällt euch und ich würde mich über Rückmeldungen freuen.💕

[24.08.17]