Before

Sean's P.O.V.

Christmas and the new year came and went. Nothing much happened, and soon it was nearly the day we were supposed to be leaving for the US tour.

A few days before we left, we all checked into a random hotel in London. It was a nice hotel, but that isn't important.

I noticed that not long after we had arrived at the hotel, both Nicky and Richey were acting kind of weird. I didn't want to say anything though, I just assumed they were nervous about the tour.

That was until Nicky came up to me one day, and asked if we could talk in private. I agreed, and we went into a back room together.

Once we were alone, Nicky began talking. "I don't know what's wrong with me," he began. "But I just feel like we shouldn't go on this tour. Like, I sense something bad is going to happen during it or something."

He looked so anxious. I leaned towards him. "Everything'll be fine," I assured him. "We made sure of that."

"I know. But i can't help thinking--"

"Don't think about it," I interrupted. "Just focus on the tour, and don't think about anything else."

Nicky nodded uncertainly. "Ok." Then he hesitated. "Richey has been acting sort of weird lately."

"I know," I told him. "James and I will deal with him."

"Thanks." He finally looked reassured.

So that night I walked with James into Richey'a room. We found him staring at the blank wall. I inhaled sharply when i saw how thin he has gotten.

"Richey..." I whispered.

He turned around slowly. "What do you two want now?" He asked wearily.

I ignored the question. "Are you alright?"

Richey stared at me for a while. "Do I look fine?"

When we didn't reply, he continued. "Nothing is real anymore."

"What do you mean?" James said softly.

He didn't answer. Instead, he turned his back on us, not saying another word. But when we were leaving, I heard him whisper, "I'm sorry."

I don't think he knew I heard him, and I didn't say anything. Instead, we quietly shut the door behind us.

Looking back, I wish I had said something, anything, at that moment. Maybe things would've been different.

But I didn't.

We went back downstairs to where Nicky was in the lounge. When we got there, he stood up and asked us what had happened.

"Not much," James replied. "But I see what you guys mean about him acting strange. He seemed really withdrawn and sad."

"He shouldn't have left that hospital," I added.

The others agreed. Then we say down in silence, our minds all on the same thing.

It was the 31st of January, the day before we left.

None of us had seen Richey all day. We thought he didn't want to be disturbed, so none of us went to look for him.

But the day turned into night, and there was still no sign of him.

Nicky sent me to look for him, probably because I was generally the quietest, and least likely to say the wrong thing to him.

I didn't protest at the time. Back then no one questioned Nicky.

I found Richey in the exact place I had expected him to be: his room.

The door was unlocked, so I opened it. Richey was pacing the floor, his head down, not looking at anyone.

"We haven't seen you all day," I said.

Richey's head shot up, as if I had startled him. "I know," he replied as if it was no big deal.

"You gonna come down to the others?"

He hesitated before answering, picking his words carefully. Then he closed his eyes, and murmured, "There is no true love, just a finely tuned jealousy."

My breath caught in my throat as I heard the familiar lyrics. Then Richey stared at me. "I don't think you guys will be seeing me anytime soon."

"O-ok..." I said, not thinking much of the words at the time.

"Goodbye, Sean," he said, and turned away from me, but not before I could see the shine of tears in his brown eyes.

That was the last time I ever saw him.