Before

Richey's P.O.V.

I stared out of the dark window. Even though it was so late, there was still people bustling around on the streets below.

The others were already asleep in the next room. I was the only one awake. I didn't feel tired though. I actually felt somewhat restless, as if there was something I needed to do.

I stood up and faced the door. I knew that for however long I tried, I would never be able to fall asleep. I slowly crept towards the door and opened it slightly, just enough so I could peek out at the long corridor. There was no one there, just the sweet scent of flowers.

Glancing around for a moment more, I walked out into the corridor. I heard the door close slowly behind me as I tiptoed forwards. I kept am eye out in case anyone came walking down the corridor. I didn't want to be recognized, not now.

Nicky's room was three doors down from mine. I got there without running into any obstacles. For a while I just stood there, staring at the dark wood of the door, before summoning the courage to knock on it.

I didn't expect him to answer. I thought he was asleep for hours. But barely a moment after I knocked, the door opened. He stood there, staring at me blearily.

"Richey," he murmured sleepily. "I thought you were asleep."

"I thought you were asleep," I replied, keeping my voice low as to not to wake anyone.

"I was," Nicky shrugged. "You woke me up. What about you?" He leaned against the door frame, his sky blue eyes fixed on me.

"I couldn't sleep." I squirmed under his gaze. "I don't feel tired... at all."

Nicky nodded, as if he understood. "Come inside." He stepped aside to let me into his room. It was similar to my room, only much cleaner. It looked almost empty. I didn't like it. The spacious room made me feel too exposed.

"So." Nicky sat down on the armchair next to the table. I sat opposite him, on the other armchair. "What brings you here?"

For a while all I could do was stare at him. To be honest, I wasn't entirely sure why I had come to Nicky's room in the first place. It was like I was drawn to it somehow, or drawn to him.

"I... I don't know," I eventually replied. "I wasn't thinking..."

"I figured you weren't," Nicky said. He smiled as he said it. I suddenly felt a swift warmth run through me. I always felt like that when Nicky smiled at me. I couldn't understand why.

Nicky brushed his hand against mine. "You know I'm always here if you need me, Richey," he said seriously.

"I know," I nodded. "But there are some things you can't change."

Nicky didn't ask what I meant, though I knew he didn't know. He just stared at me, his eyes sad.

Without saying another word, I slipped out of the room and walked silently back to my own room. When I closed the door behind me, I looked at the clock on the wall above the desk to see what time it was.

2:30am. I did a quick calculation in my head. If I went to sleep within the next few minutes, I'll probably be able to get about five hours sleep in, before we need to get up.

I lay on my bed, and rested my head against the plump pillow. I suddenly found that I was exhausted, and within a moment of closing my eyes, I was flung into a deep, dark sleep.

Light flooded through the drawn curtains, almost blinding me as I opened my eyes. I sat up wearily. What time was it? I glanced up at the clock. 8:45? Why didn't anyone wake me!

I flew out of bed, and threw on my clothes as quickly as I could. Then I ran out of the door.

I wondered where the others were. There was a chance that they were still downstairs, eating breakfast. Or maybe they had already left without me? I made my way downstairs into the breakfast room, and to my relief, I spotted the others sitting around a table piled with pancakes, bacon, and eggs.

"Why didn't any of you wake me up earlier?" I said as soon as I approached them.

James looked up. "You looked too peaceful," he replied. "So we thought we'd let you sleep in for a bit."

"Seriously?" I sat down in an empty chair next to Nicky, who smiled at me in greeting.

"We don't have to leave for another few hours." James reassured me.

"And we knew you probably didn't want any breakfast anyway," Nicky added.

I sighed. "Yeah, well. You're not wrong."

I sat there as the others carried on chatting. They were debating over the best way to make a crisp sandwich. I blocked out the sounds of them and tried to focus on my own thoughts instead.

My mind travelled back to a couple of years ago. To the '4 Real' incident as it was now known as. The pain I had felt at the time, it had felt... good. Like it was taking away the pain I felt mentally, and replacing it with a more bearable, physical pain.

I stared down at my arm. I could still see the deep scars that it had left behind. I brushed my fingers against them, remembering the moment in which I had created them.

Nicky said I was crazy, to cut myself so foolishly. He didn't understand. He never would.

I did it to prove a point. And I had succeeded. My prize: these scars.

I closed my eyes and opened them again. Nicky and the others had moved on from crisp sandwiches now, and were talking about their plans for the America gig that was coming up in about a week. Personally, I couldn't understand why we even bothered with America. They never understand us.

Murmuring a quick excuse, I stood up and made my way back upstairs to my room. I didn't want to be around people right now, not even my friends. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts right now.

Wow this was actually easier to write than I thought it would be considering I'm realllly insecure about my music taste and all that. But hey, I don't care what you all think now :))

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even if you don't even know who the Manic Street Preachers are. I didn't know who they were either until about 4 months ago.

Let me know what you think in the comments!!!👍