Book: My Sexy Kidnapper

Story: He was just about to slam the door before I made a quick dive and did a ninja roll, rolling on his rug just as his door slammed shut.

Comment: Your training is almost complete. For you to become a Jedi, you must suck Nathan's lightsaber.

In the book, a kid called the girl Luke Skywalker. Which kinda explains the comment

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Story: "I don't know, I'm not fucking Mr. Wolf" The kidnapper replied.

Comment: I thought he meant he wasn't having sex with mr. wolf I was like "damn ain't nobody said that. you got smth you wanna tell us?" But then I realized I'm stupid.

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Story: the guy had a gun in the mall

"Everybody get down." the boy said calmly. "Now!" he yelled, and everyone seemed to break out of their trance and obeyed.

Comment:
*kid jumps up and yells*
But I gotta use the bathroom like so bad I think I'm gonna die like bruh really I'm gonna pop deer lord he-
*bang*

*girl in background*
Apply ice to the burned area!

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\(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥

~Wumbo