1.) "Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."
Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."
Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
...
I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."
"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.
"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt."  

2.) "Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades."

3.) "Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?"                                                                                                                                                                       "Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?"                                                         "Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart."   

4.) "Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot."                                                                                                                     "He's the sun god," I said.                                                                                                                                                            "That's not what I meant.  

5.) "Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned. 

"That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."
"Which one is me?" I asked.
"The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.
"Oh, shut up."

6.) "In a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some divine force is really trying to mess up your day." 

7.)    "God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!

Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

8.) "He cleared his throat and held up one hand dramatically.

"Green grass breaks through snow.
Artemis pleads for my help.
I am so cool."
He grinned at us, waiting for applause.
"That last line was four syllables." Artemis said.
Apollo frowned. "Was it?"
"Yes. What about I am so bigheaded?"
"No, no, that's six syllable, hhhm." He started muttering to himself.
Zoe Nightshade turned to us. "Lord Apollo has been going through this haiku phase ever since he visited Japan. Tis not as bad as the time he visited Limerick. If I'd had to hear one more poem that started with,There once was a godess from Sparta-"

"I've got it!" Apollo announced. "I am so awesome. That's five syllables!" He bowed, looking very pleased with himself."

9.) "The cafe windows wrapped all the way around the observation floor, which gave us a beautiful panoramic view of the skeleton army that had come to kill us." 

10.) "She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts." 

11.) "Hey, can I see that sword you were using?"

I showed him Riptide, and explained how it turned from a pen into a sword just by uncapping it.
"Cool! Does it ever run out of ink?"
"Um, well, I don't actually write with it."
"Are you really the son of Poseidon?"
"Well, yeah."
"Can you surf really well, then?"
I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh.
"Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried."

He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)"

12.) "You're a stalker with hooves."

"I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing."

13.) "Can't this thing go any faster?" Thalia demanded.
Zoe glared at her. "I cannot control traffic."
You both sound like my mother," I said.

Shut up!" they both said in union.     

14.) "Not knowing is half the fun," Aphrodite said, "Exquisitely painful isn't it? Not being sure who you love and who loves you? Oh, you kids! It's so cute I'm going to cry!"

15.) "Apollo?" I guessed...

He put a finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred."
A god named Fred?"

If I missed anything, tell me and I'll add it on! :)