I've had this book since 2017! Holy crap! I've also been like an abusive father to this poor book. I'm so sorry to like, my 2 readers left. On to the tag! (Thanks yunofangirl!)

What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or do not love them back?
Funny thing about me. I say "I love you" way too easily. Even if I don't actually love the person in question (aka literally every time) I still say it.

I'm well versed in rejection. It sucks. I hate it. I hate going through it. It would be so hard to reject someone because I've been through that so much. And I know how much I would hurt that person if they proposed it to me. I complain so much about being single, that I wouldn't know how to handle someone liking me when I don't feel the same. I would hate myself every second of it.

What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
God, I...I don't know what I'd do without my acting job. That's all I've ever worked for. If I couldn't make it suitable for my lifestyle, I'd have nothing left. I keep telling my mom that I'll study Law as a backup, but I don't wanna do that. Acting's all I've really got nowadays.

What makes you bored?
I'm one of those people who doesn't get bored but, at the same time, I'm always doing something. I get bored if I'm doing nothing by myself. I'm alright if I'm with a friend and we equally do nothing. Hell, I prefer that sometimes. But I get soooo booored if I have nothing to occupy myself.

Do you like spicy food and why?
Anyone who knows me knows I'm a spicy meme boy. Of course I love spicy food! It always has great flavors to dance with and the possibility of my mouth going numb excites me. Granted, it never happened because I have a good spice tolerance but still!

Something or someone you miss most from childhood
Alright. Let's get depressing. The thing I miss most from my childhood is my happiness. My peace of mind. Let me explain:

I was always a depressed kid. As far as I could remember, I hated myself. No doubt because of my parents' divorce, which was glaring up about the time my sister was born and my dad remarried. Still, I put on a brave face and tried to help people, especially my mom with my-at the time-newborn sister. Still, I would be told that I was terrible. A curse on my family. The reason things were miserable. My stepmother was pretty explicit with me. After a while, it stuck. I believed her. I am the bad guy in all of this. I don't deserve happiness. I've been through so much as a kid, stuff I don't wanna explain right now, but looking back it's no wonder why I loathe everything about me.

The person I miss most is my mom. She's been through a lot, more than me. But she always was a caring person. Someone who understood my problems and tried her best to soften the blow. But for the last year, she's been so antagonistic. Always pushing me to study and hurry up with life so I can leave her. Sometimes I feel like she doesn't even want me around anymore. Even though I do everything for her save for paying rent, she treats me like I'm nothing. I can't tell anyone about it because they have their own problems, and it's a miracle I'm even saying it here.

Are you usually late, early, or right on time?
I'm actually an early bird. I'm bad with time planning, so I often plan things way in advance and look like a tool because of it. I'm the kind of person to show up 15 minutes early to something I don't want to be at.

Are you happy with your life right now?
Alright. Here we go.

No. I'm not. And I can't do a damn thing about it. My mom lords over my life, I'm a pariah, and I both hate myself and somehow think the world owes me something. I hate that I'm still single, but at the same time I hold standards of girls so high that if they somehow reach it, they already have a partner.

On top of that, I've been crippled to be dependent, so now my family expects me to take care of myself when no one's taught me how. And I still hold on to everything from the past. Despite telling myself to get over it and improve, I can't ever push myself to face my demons. I've given myself PTSD just by seeing a username, for God's sake.

I'm not happy. And that's why no one's happy with me. But I want to improve. I know I can, and that I deserve a happy ending like everyone else. If I take my time and process life as it comes, then I can achieve that happiness, but I hold on to people and the past, so I'm not happy. I'm trying, I really am. I need to get away from everyone and figure out who I'm going to be.

Just 1 more year.

You can have one of two things: Trust/Love
What's love without trust? Those two concepts go hand in hand and you can't separate them. But if I had to pick one, I think I'd pick Love. Not just romantically, but love of everything. Love is the desire to keep. It doesn't matter if people don't trust me. They don't anyway. I'll fight for my love on my own if I have to.

"If the world chooses to become my enemy, then I will fight to protect it just like I always have!"

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At this point, it is the next day of writing this. Sorry it's taking so long

Tell about your favorite book, magazine or comic
Okay soooo I'll go with book and comic because I don't read magazines.

Book: This is easy. It's the Percy Jackson series. Is it mythologically accurate? About 70 percent of the time. Is it perfect? God no. Is it fun? Hell yes. It stimulates every part of my history and action brain and it made me a huge mythology nerd. It's because I read those books that I loved my trip to Greece a few years ago.

Comic: This one's a bit unconventional but my favorite comic is the Calvin and Hobbes series. It's a wholesome, slice-of-life comedy about a young boy and his stuffed tiger. It's funny, great, and touches on some heavy themes. It helped me get through when my house was robbed when I was a young boy.

Name 3 things in nature you find most beautiful
yunofangirl
yunofangirl
yunofangirl

Ah, but I tease. I'm kidding. It says "In nature" and I'm a city slicker, but I have experienced nature so I'll run through my list.
1. The sky. I live in Arizona, which is a desert. And one thing that deserts are known for (apart from blistering heat and sand) is the beautiful sun cycle. Sunrises are crisp and gorgeous and sunsets are even more beautiful. The sky paints a fiery pink and orange and it is gorgeous. The night looks absolutely stunning too. The way the stars dot the infinite expanse. I love it.

2. The ambience. Specifically in forests. I love the soft crinkling of leaves and the sounds small animals make. It all holds an air of mystery while also being very soothing. Any surprise that it's also amazing at night?

3. The smell. Yeah I know it's cliche and kinda fits in ambience. But there's something so much more in a nature smell rather than a city smell. And I adore the city. It's my preferred environment. But nature just has that little something to it that is absolutely magical.

What is the hardest thing you've ever had to do?
The hardest thing I've ever had to do was let go. Of people, I mean.

I've encountered many different kinds of person in my short 16 and 1/3 years of life. A lot of them I was indifferent to or on good terms with. Some people made my blood boil whenever I saw them, but some people...I got attached to some people. Rookie mistake, I know. It was almost always toxic. In fact, I think all of them were toxic at one point, and most of them stayed that way. The hardest thing I've ever done is let go of those people, because it wasn't my choice sometimes. They made me feel like I needed them and cut me out when I didn't suit them anymore. My Bloodborne RP group did exactly that. There were other people. Someone whom I cared very deeply for ended up using me for her own self-confidence and encouraged me to end dynamics with other girls so I only had her. It was a never-ending cycle of losing someone, to get attached to someone new, only to lose that person too. It didn't even have to be romantic. I've had people I considered friends tell me I was horrible and villainous. And I believed them! They weren't the first people to tell me...

Thankfully, it didn't have to stay that way. I am thankful that I dropped the toxic people in my life, and the ones who dropped me never came back. I'm grateful they didn't now, because I realize how bad they were for me. Some decided to turn themselves around, though. This was a great feeling. My friend fiestakitten got better. She got help and decided to stick around, and I welcomed her back. She's basically an older sister now. And then there's yunofangirl, probably the only person who's gonna even see this. I have my own special message for you if I ever work up the courage to plan and write it. Just know that, for now at least, I'm glad we're friends again, and I hope we stay at least as friends, despite my own personal feelings.

I'm supposed to tag people here, but I've literally got no one to tag. So if you see this, then you can try it yourself. I tag anyone who reads this automatically. It's my magic as a "bad boy" according to a user named Ice. Please stop climaxing over my online persona, I'm kinda uncomfortable.

Thanks for reading this. I know this book is just tags but I actually really do wanna update my Bloodborne book and this with more life stuff. I just need to remember this exists.