I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or Seven Deadly Sins. Credit to their respective creators.

•••

Ed awoke to rafters and a faint smell of herbs in the air.

He sat up cautiously. There was a faint humming coming from somewhere to his right, and birds singing outside.

He was in a small, wooden house. There was a bunch of animal furs decorating the place; including but not limited to: a stuffed deer head over the fireplace, a gray carpet with the head of some sort of big cat still attached, and a support pillar with a bunch of small stuffed animals inside.

Their glass eyes shone in the dim light of the hole, and Ed felt his stomach churn.

He realized abruptly that the humming had stopped.

Ed whipped his head around and saw an older woman standing behind him. She had short brown hair with streaks of white, a plain yellow dress, and an apron. She also had three small moles on her face, two on her cheek (like Yukio) and one above her right eye.

"Hello, dear," she smiled warmly at him. "It seems you're finally awake. Would you like something to eat?"

•••

Mari talked to him as she knitted.

She liked to talk. She talked about the weather, the town, the traditional fighting festival that was happening, the state of the forest....

Ed forced his smile wider. "Sounds great."

"Oh, it will be!" Mari laughed. "My son used to dream of winning it."

She gave him a calculating glance. "Will you be staying over for dinner?"

"Um," Ed pondered his options. "If you'll have me, I'd be happy to. If it's not a burden, of course."

"Of course not dear. No trouble at all." Her eyes over him again. "Of course, if you are staying, then you'll need food. I'm afraid my mushroom supply for my soup is really rather low. I was going to restock today actually, but I found you instead."

Ed caught her drift. "I'll be happy to help."

"If it's not too much trouble, of course."

He snorted. He took the basket Mari offered him and turned to exit the house.

"Of course i can find mushrooms!" He told her. "I'll be back in about an hour. It'll be simple!"

There was a slight pause.

"Okay," Mari shrugged.

•••

Ed sighed. He stood in the forest, a basket over his arm, mud on his pants, and a hand on his head.

Giant walking mushrooms. Of course.

There couldn't be any normalcy in either world, could there?

He decided to just leave it be and leave. It wasn't worth fighting it if you had no idea what it could do.

Ed bent down to examine the smaller, normal mushrooms. Those ones were growing under a pine tree; probably poisonous. These ones bore a strong resemblance to puffball mushrooms, a plant that had been safe to eat last world.

He had almost halfway filled his basket when he heard two feminine screams.

Eds head jerked upwards. He ran towards the sound, intent on helping, the blood roaring through his ears.

He stumbled into a clearing. The large walking mushroom (now with a large dent on its top) hopped past him.

There was a brunette in the clearing. She was wearing a very skimpy barmaid outfit, and talking to something in her hands.

Something.... Or someone.

Ed slammed his eyes shut.

His mushrooms spilled everywhere as he covered his eyes and turned away, crouching to the ground.

There had been a tiny woman on the girls hands.

One without any clothing.

"PERVERT! HELP!"

This wasn't going to end well,  Ed thought.

He was correct.

There was a short pause. After muffled noises, Ed began to gather up the mushrooms, resolutely not looking. He tossed a few into his basket and felt a chilling presence behind him.

He only had a seconds warning before she slammed her fist down on top of his head, hard.

And then it was lights out.

•••

"You didn't have to hit him so hard," Elizabeth said, timidly and quietly.

Diane hurrumphed. "Perverts that spy on unsuspecting women will receive their dues."

"Yeah, but I don't think he was peeping," Elizabeth protested. "And once he realized my state of undress, he covered his eyes and looked away. He doesn't seem like a pervert, anyway."

Diane sighed. "Fine."

She gathered all the rest of the stray mushrooms into the basket, then turned to the unconscious boy.

He lay in a heap, a large bump on his head.

Diane grabbed his arm, slung it over her shoulders, and half helped, half carried him in the vague direction of the city Vaisel.

"Where are we going?" Elizabeth asked, sounding slightly squashed from where she was hidden.

"Now that I'm human-sized, then the captain and I can finally have some fun together!" Diane told her. "We're going to surprise him! Surprise surprise surprise!"

"Diane," Elizabeth protested. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Nonsense," Diane hefted at the boy she had knocked out. "There's probably a doctor in town, too, to help the peeper."

"D-Diane," Elizabeth tried again. The much smaller giantess promptly ignored her.

•••

Ed awoke to total chaos, a sweaty smell, and pounding in his head.

He sat up. He was leaned up against a rock, like a cast off coat. There was dirt underneath him and a huge crowd in front of him, cheering loudly and shaking their fists in the air. Two fighters stood elevated in the front, going at it hammer and tongs.

It looked like a festival.

Scratch that. It was a festival.

How had he gotten here?

He clambered to his feet and winced. Ed was bruised, battered, and all around sore.

This was not new.

The blond boy standing on the arena beating a taller man in scarlet rather decisively was.

Ed pushed to the front. People protested as he shoved past them but he ignored them.

They were cheering for Meliodaf and Baaan.

•••

Baaan sat up, a blank expression on his face. There was a slight pause, and then he and Meliodaf flickered out of sight momentarily.

They simultaneously unleashed a flurry of attacks so fast it made Eds head hurt just watching them.

Meliodaf slammed his fist into his opponents gut so hard Baaan coughed blood. A second uppercut sent him flying, literally flying out of the arena.

There were gasps of shock as Baaan hit the ground hard, still in the arena, but then the blond fell to his knees as well.

The referee screeched inenteligably as the kid said something to the other- who looked remarkably okay despite his rather hefty ordeals.

All of his injuries were completely gone.

He charged Meliodaf- the kid tried to counter with a fist, but Baaan was behind him before he could even blink.

He flexed his wrist, then punched Meliodaf into the ground mercilessly.

The man on Eds left let out a disbelieving noise. "Man, these people are totally crazy!"

His friend just stared at Baan, who has jumping in place like a boxer at the beginning of a fight. Not the rapidly approaching end.

His face was flushed with exhilaration, and he let out some crowing words seconds before his face was smashed in by Meliodafs elbow.

Ed forced himself a bit taller, then turned a little, tearing his gaze from the fight.

The people in this world (some of them, anyway) were total powerhouses! If any of them came to Amestres, he doubted that anyone would be able to stop them.

Then he reminded himself that his military had fought someone fused with the Truth itself and won.

His eyes fell on a very familiar brunette standing by another kid in a bright coat with a huge green pillow. Her skimpy outfits frilly necktie was pushed aside, exposing a ridiculous amount of cleavage.

Ed abandoned his spot as a simple spectator and pushed his way over to them. "Hey!"

They both jumped, their conversation about fox hunting cut off.

"Eeeh, the pervert!" The brunette gasped.

"P-pervert!" Her companion stuttered.

"Who are you?" Ed asked.

"Diane," she looked at him suspiciously. "And you?"

They were cut off when Meliodaf grabbed Baaans arm and started beating him like a rug.

Baaan pulled himself away and turned the tides, his muscles bunching as he threw a fist right at Meliodaf.

It hit heavily, but the kid managed to stay upright and on his feet, landing a little bit away.

Baaan started monologing as Meliodaf opened and closed his fingers. The man in scarlet leaped for the kid, a maniacal expression on his face.

He came down, bearing all his weight on his fist. Meliodaf met him, fist to fist, and his much smaller hand punched right through the obstruction that was Baaans hand, breaking his finger and arm bones before plunging deep into his sternum.

Breaking his finger and arm bones.

Ed felt slightly dizzy, and judging by the gasps and cries from the crowd, he wasn't the only one.

If he had been fighting, he would have lost.

He probably would have died.

He knew almost without a doubt, the tugging and tightening in his stomach only confirming: this was the strongest.

But Baaan didn't collapse to the ground. He slid to a stop almost at the edge of the ring, grotesquely contorted as he balanced on one foot, his arm mangled.

"Come on, seriously?" He asked, twitching his broked limb. "How bottomless are your reserves, Captain?"

He let out a short laugh, then swung himself upright. "All right, I've made up my mind."

"To throw in the towel?" Meliodaf asked brightly.

Baaans voice quieted; Ed could only hear what they were saying if he concentrated.

"It doesn't look like I can wrap this up by nibbling away at your speed and power.

"So I'll take it all!" He reached out towards the kid.

Meliodaf instantly retaliated with a flurry of punches to his head.

Besides him, Diane cheered for one of the two, Ed didn't know which. "Finish him off all at once!"

"If Ban steals his strength, he'll win," the short kid next to them muttered, placing a hand to his chin in contemplation. "If the Captain can put him down before then, HE wins."

Meliodafs fists slowed and his blows weakened until his final fist weakly caught on Baaans' (or was it Ban? Ed couldn't tell) chin in a move that wouldn't seem out of place in a fight between two schoolboys.

Then he collapsed to the ground.

"That was delicious, Captain!" The scarred man told him, delighted.

Ban started to glow faintly.

"What do we have here??!!" The weird, disproportionate referee yelled excitedly. What had he been doing all this time? Reading? "Meliodaf, who had been pummeling Baaan mercilessly, has run out of strength!"

It was honestly about time too. All monsters had to have a limit, no matter how powerful they were. Ed sighed through his nose. He had actually been rooting, just barely rooting for the blond kid.

"King, what's happened to Sir Meliodas?" A quiet, soft voice asked. Ed looked over, but it had not come from Diane, and the querie was directed at King-the kid.

The brunette noticed him looking and pointed down at... herself?

Ed, blushing slightly, looked closer at her neckline.

His jaw dropped.

It was the tiny woman he had seen from the woods!

"Ban sapped away all of the Captain's physical abilities," King told her, his eyes never straying from the fight.

Over in the arena, Ban approached the crumpled figure. "It's time to put an end to our little tussle, Captain. What to do, what to do."

"Ban!" Diane suddently shouted. Ed nearly jumped out of his skin. "If you do anything else to the Captain, we'll be quits as friends, do you hear me?"

"No comments from the peanut gallery," he replied loudly. "I'm the one who won the fight."

Meliodaf twitched on the ground. Ed couldn't hear what he said, but Ban looked shocked, then totally amused.

He sniggered. "You and I are the perfect match, Captain.

"Well, I'm gonna get one last hit in if you don't mind!"

The mini lady gasped, then added her own voice to the din. "Stop, Sir Ban! If we don't do something now," she added in a lower tone, "Meliodas is going to-"

Diane interrupted. "The Captain's won the fight."

"How so?" She asked.

"The Captain is gonna play dead," Diane smirked almost devilishly. "And reflect Ban's all out punch back in his face using his Full-Counter."

His what? Ed felt so lost right then.

"That won't work," King said imediantly.

Diane jolted back. "Hu?"

"Sorry, Diane," King told her. "The Captain's magical ability is only able to reflect direct magical attacks. So, it'll be powerless against an ordinary attack."

Ed tuned out her startled cries, turning back to the fight. How was it going to end?

Ban raised his fist, dark purple energy swirling around it. "If you survive, be sure to give me your impressions afterwards! Let me know how a punch fueled by both our power felt!"

"Sir Meliodas!" The tiny girl cried out.

Bans fist rocketed down towards the prone figure. It hit with such force the arena broke, sending up a billowing crowd of earth and dust.

The crowd coughed, swatting at the dust to see who had been left standing.

The kid emerged from the dust, a smile on his face and his finger held up to his lips. "Elizabeth, don't ruin it."

People all around let out startled gasps. Ed was one of them. How?

"Oooh? Meliodaf is standing alone in the ring!" The referee screamed. "Where has Baaan gone?"

He was. The whole arena was scooped out like a hollow dish, and there was no sign of Ban.

Meliodas pointed. "See? Over there."

On the side of the hill were strange buildings with arches. One of them had a large smoking crater in the base of it.

"How can this be?" The tiny referee asked, his jaw reaching the floor. "But this means....."

"I win," Meliodas announced, pointing his thumb back at himself. He let it a short, happy laugh.

"Victor, Meliodaf!" The referee gestured to him wildly. People cheered loudly and happily.

King leaned in closer to Diane. "Did you see?"

She simply nodded in assent.

He continued in a voice too low for Ed to hear. She replied in the same low tones, and he missed what they said.

Meliodaf managed to make it out of the arena and stumbled over to stand next to Diane. He grinned, exhausted and wobbling but still upright.

"What's up with all the gloomy faces? Who's this?" He asked, his bright green eyes locking with Eds.

Instinctively, Ed backed up a step.

He had been in many life-threatening situations before and had learned to trust his gut.

His gut that was currently screaming at him to run, run away, get lost NOW.

Eds 'animal instincts' were telling him that this was an enemy almost as powerful as the humonculi called Father.

"I'm Ed," he forced out.

The kid showed no signs of noticing the way Ed stood ready to flee at any moment. He smiled, full of mirth and happy.

"My name is Meliodas. It's nice to meet you."