She smiles kindly and waves at the kids who all pressed themselves up against the windows to wave back.
As soon as she turns her back to them she drops the smile and takes up a scowl of exhaustion in its place, she had been doing this for so long that she had grown accustomed to the act of playing the cheerfully happy and bright young nanny who always has a glass half full view on life.
But leaving at the end of the day meant being free to take off that mask and to revert back to her horrible, monstrous self. She would, of course, keep up most appearances until she was safely home, smiles for those she passed, waves to those she was acquainted with.
"Fitting into society is exhausting," she mutters dully as she reaches into her deep coat pocket to fish for house keys.
'Indeed it is, that's why we hide away, don't need friends, have no family, no ties to force you out other than that pesky orphanage,' a voice mutters in her ear.
"Shove off, I like the orphanage, they keep me company and help stop you lot from convincing me to do something stupid," she hisses harshly under her breath, unlocking her door she steps in slamming it shut behind her.
she had learnt a long... long time ago it was best to not make it to noticeable when they spoke to her, the little voices of reason, unreason, chaos and calamity. They never bought about any good and when she had tried to tell her mother and father as a Child they either brushed it off as her imagination running wild or on her making imaginary friends which she had to make up for Lack of real ones. The more she tried to convince them the of the voices the more the voices caused trouble and the more trouble she got in so she quickly learnt to keep the demons contained and she stopped talking to her parents about it.
She shimmies her jacket off dumping it down on the back of her dining chair. She runs a hand through her hair tugging out her tie and letting her Sandy brown hair down,
'Go find another one, it's been ages since you've stolen one away,' another one of the demons whispers.
"No, not that I would want to -or that you would- care but that little blond kid still has the last one, they didn't take it to the orphanage, which is a good thing I suppose as it would be difficult to explain how a baby managed to find its way into a back Alley, but that's not the point. They will be investigating the case, I can't risk being caught," she growls.
The voices stay silent as they seemingly think over what she said.
"Besides, I never wanted this you lot are the demons who insist that the charade keep going," she mutters pulling the milk bottle out of the fridge and setting the kettle on the stove top to heat up.
You always enjoy them though, for a small while. And the thrill you get when leaving them behind, it's exhilarating isn't it one of the voices replies.
"Why won't you monsters just leave me alone?" She sighs making herself a cup of tea.
The wicked don't rest, and I've always told you, my dear, that we are not the demons hear, you just won't accept that we are a part of you, you're the demon. One says.
"Tch whatever you say, you will never convince me that is true," she scoffs picking an old leather bound book up off her table and walking to her room with it. Sitting down at her desk she flips it open to about the middle and stares down at the photos, smiling she flips it back to the start. To the photo of her baby. The original, the one that started this all.
Slamming the album shut she furiously wipes the tears from her eyes.
"I'm sorry my child, I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough for you." She sobs
Shoving the album off the table causing its contents to spread out over the floor. She sat there her shoulders shaking with silent cries for the rest of the night as the voices tried to convince her to try one more time. To try once again to be a mother.