Chapter 17 is 100 questions and answers with Wei Yu and Qing Xi so maybe I'll post it as a bonus chapter after the book ends.

Plus, is anyone disappointed we don't get to read about their wedding!?!?

Chapter 18: Married.

After getting married, the first thing we did was count the red bags*. Xu Wei Yu started to count: "1, 2, 3......9, 10, J, Q, K......" I felt something was wrong, then I heard him continue to count, "K, A, B, C, D......O."
*[Red bag/packets of money are giving at weddings instead of wedding gifts.]

At the end I asked him how many there were. Xu Wei Yu: "Twenty eight ah."

I was bored so I counted it again myself, the result was actually 28. Should I say that he guessed right or is the structure of his brain just different from normal people?

Later, he counted, "Z, Y, X, W, V......"

The next few times he counted were actually all correct. Xu Wei Yu shot a glance at me, who would recount the red bags he had counted, "It won't be wrong, with my intelligence, how can 123 and such types of dull counting satisfy me!"

This guy, does he kill lots of people with just one line ah? Including me.

After we came back from our honeymoon, I started to become busy again. I had reports to write and all kinds of other grievances. I said in distress, "I should just die." Xu Wei Yu heard me and immediately ran over in high spirits, "Darling, do you need my help ah?" I was quiet for a long time, as expected, does love no longer exist after marriage?

I continued to write my reports. He was behind me, lifting small dumbbells, "Darling, look at my muscles."

I didn't turn my head, "I'm busy. Can you leave?"

Wei Yu, "Just take a look then I'll leave."

I turned around, "Okay, I've looked, leave now. Close the door after you, thanks."

Wei Yu, "Your line of sight didn't pass across my muscles!"

I looked in detail at his arm, "The problem is you don't have any ah."

Xu person finally ran out in tears.

Later, I went out and saw him leaning on the balcony looking afar. I walked over to his back and asked, "Are you in low spirits?"

"No."

"Then turn around and let me see you smile."

He turned around and gave me a smile, I rubbed his small face and said, "Come, your wife will treat you to food."

Wei Yu: "You've finished your report?"

"Mhm."

Wei Yu grumbled, "I knew it, I'm always ranked last."

"If you don't want to go then forget about it."

"Go,go, go!"

After dinner, on our way home, we saw a crippled cat. Xu Wei Yu immediately took pity on it and said we didn't have a pet so we should raise it. I said, "Then you have to take the cat for a checkup first." Thus, at night, the two of us stupidly wrapped the cat's wound with a scarf and took it to the vet.

However, the vet said, "This cat is already very old. Plus, it has severe liver disease and won't live past a few days. He's actually in quite a lot of pain right now, if you are willing, you should let him die in peace, that would be the best for him."

Wei Yu started swearing as soon as he heard. That gray cat was purring at us in a low voice on the table. We ended up giving him a shower then Wei Yu carried him home.

It wasn't very long before the old cat died. Wei Yu was sad for a long time after.

Actually, his emotions are much more delicate than mine.

In the weekend, we went to another city to see an exhibition. Not long after we got off the highway, we got lost. Wei Yu was very ashamed and in the end, he asked a policeman. Right after we finished asking, another car stopped behind us to ask for the directions. As soon as Wei Yu heard that it was the place we were going to, he didn't wait for the police to speak. He stretched out his hand with a heroic spirit at the people in the car, "Going to xx ah? Follow brother!"

That tone of voice, that gesture, that expression, it seemed like he was a snake in it's old hunts here, completely familiar with the place.

Then, after driving out a section, he was lost again.

The car behind us drove up and the driver waved his hand, "I know the rest of the road from here, follow brother!"

After we reached the destination, there were a lot of people and it was hard to find a parking space but we finally managed to find a narrow parking space. Xu Wei Yu's parking skills weren't good so I let him get off to park it myself.

The toll staff standing beside him said, "Looks like female comrade's skills are better."

Wei Yu arrogantly said, "She went to learn as soon as she was of age, cool right?"

The toll staff asked, "Are you spouses ah?"

Wei Yu: "Just married."

After I parked, I came down. That person said to me, "This lad is pretty good, live well together."

Later, I asked Wei Yu what nonsense he said to him.

Wei Yu: "I just told him about how I chased you for so many years and finally, the bitterness ended and the sweetness begins as we got married."

"How are you able to chat with anyone?"

"I am amiable, easy to approach and open minded."

We chatted as we entered the exhibition. Wei Yu held my hand and said, "Too many people, don't get lost."

We looked at the exhibitions until afternoon when we came out to find a place to eat, the restaurants there were full of people.

Xu Wei Yu is most afraid of eating at noisy places, "Enough, let's drive somewhere further to eat."

However, when we walked to our car, we saw a pink piece of A4 paper clipped into the windshield wiper, it said: Happy honeymoon! The people of xx welcome you.

Wei Yu burst on the spot and I was almost in tears, how bored is this toll uncle......and how much love he has ah.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Actually, I didn't get the joke at the end hahaha.

Chapter 19: After marriage day to day life where there are a lot of 'differences'

The only difference between premarriage and after marriage is, Xu Wei Yu: "Wife ah, cook for me, it's a legal request ah!"

"Darling, buy me some clothes, there's nothing handsome to wear, it's a legal request!"

"Woman, tonight let's watch a movie, it's a legal request."

"Qing Xi ah, sing me a love song, legal request, legal request!"

Many times, I restrained myself from an urge to illegally dispose him......

"Can't you rest it for a while?"

"I can't, these requests are under the protection of the 'Marriage Law of the People's Republic of China.' "

I smiled coldly, "The 'Marriage Law's aren't that bored to care over you buying clothes and watching movies."

When he quietly walked away, he said, " 'Marriage Law' article 3 forbids family emotional abuse, forbids maltreatment and abandonment of family members......"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

I played an online game with Xu Wei Yu. My character was a Lolita and he kept me as his disciple. After playing for two months, he said he wanted to renounce our master disciple relationship.

Lolita: Can I ask for the reason?

Youth: I don't want to commit incest.

Lolita: ......

After we renounced our master disciple relationship, we still weren't able to get married in the end because the system prompted that the Lolita character is not allowed to get married.

Wei Yu nearly spat out blood.

I went shopping with Xu Wei Yu, actually, it's a very tiring thing because our tastes are different and we would often have disputes over clothes or a pair of shoes.

Wei Yu: "Do I look good wearing these clothes?"

Me: "You look like a ruffian." Not anyone can pull off a flower print shirt ah.

We Yu: "This dress looks good, darling, go and try it on."

Me: "Unless I die."

Me: "Go and try that black suit on?"

Wei Yu: "It's like a funeral attire."

Thus, I rarely went shopping with him. To this, my friends expressed, "The fact that you two are interested in each other is already considered a miracle." I also deeply agree.

During work, I chatted with Xu Wei Yu on QQ. I typed too fast and accidentally wrote: Do it?

Wei Yu: In broad daylight?! Attaches a bashful emoji.

Me: I accidentally typed wrong, it was supposed to be are you there?

After a long time, he finally replied: Dead! Attaches a vomiting blood emoji.

Me: A friend's baby is one months old, what should we give?

Wei Yu: Money?

Me: ......Apart from money, what else should we give?

Wei Yu: Gold and silver jewellery?

Me: Something with significance.

Wei Yu: Computer or phone?

Me: Never mind, I asked the wrong person.

Wei Yu: Don't go ah customer, let's keep chatting!

Me: You have nothing to do ah?

Wei Yu: I've already finished today's work.

Me: Then read more books to raise your sentiments and self cultivation, don't make yourself seem so common.

Wei Yu: ......

My colleagues like to ask me to help them buy things online. My card wasn't connected to online banking but Xu Wei Yu's was so I kept using his card to buy things. This caused his phone to often receive texts on how much he had spent. Once, after purchasing something for a colleague and received the money from them, I received a call from him saying, "Woman, you can't keep cashing in like this, if you want money then tell me directly."

"......"

After dinner, during our stroll, Xu Wei Yu whispered to me behind my back, "I'm putting my cellphone in your bag ah." Then, as he fumbled to open my small shoulder bag behind me, an old man yelled, "Robber!"

Xu Wei Yu turned, "I'm putting in things ah, old man."

I don't know why but I burst out laughing.

That old man walked off in embarrassment. I said to the person behind me, "Isn't it because your actions are too vulgar? So it makes other people misunderstand."

"How can that be? See how upright I look ah."

"I'm unable to see."

"That's because you didn't look carefully."

That personality......

After we finished our stroll, we saw some aunties dancing in the public square. There was a beautiful girl how came to ask Wei Yu, "Handsome, can I borrow your phone to make a call?"

Wei Yu turned his head, "First, beautiful, if you want my number to start a relationship, I definitely won't give it, my wife is standing over there. Second, if you are a swindler, then I am a police."

The beautiful girl left resolutely.

I leaned over and asked Xu Wei Yu, "You're a police?"

"Just giving an excuse."

I said, "What won't you start a relationship with her?"

"I'm afraid of my wife."

"......"

Not long after, Wei Yu saw that the aunties' dance was quite simple and said, "I'm also going to dance."

"Don't embarrass yourself."

"How can I, this looks so easy, look at me!" Then he ran over, stood behind them and also started to dance.

He barely managed to keep up.

However, an adult man wearing a high quality coat was turning and twisting with a group of aunties, he stood out too much. I couldn't watch anymore, I waved at him, "You can come back now."

"Wife, come join ah!"

"Quickly leave, we still need to go the fruit store to buy fruit."

It wasn't easy to persuade him back. He said to me, "The auntie in front of me said my dancing was good and told me to come back again tomorrow."

Me: "Then come back by yourself tomorrow."

When we got to the fruit store, Xu person only chose the most expensive, cherries, snow lotus fruit and so on. I said to him, "These taste similar to apples and oranges, their nutritional value is also about the same."

"But clearly cherries look prettier."

"Are you buying them to look at or eat?'

"First look then eat. Plus, a girl should eat cherries, it enriches your blood, nourishes the skin and helps to detoxify. See, I'm always thinking about you.'

"......"

In the middle of the night, someone phoned. I picked it up, it was a male, not speaking in Chinese so I didn't understand what he was saying. It turns out it was Xu Wei Yu's phone. Thus I woke him up and gave the phone to him. He said a few words then hung up. I asked, "What is that person saying ah?'

Wei Yu, "I didn't understand. I told him to speak English but I saw what the time was and told him to phone again in ten hours. People who don't properly learn the world time zones are the most disliked! Right?"

Me: "Can't you close your phone when you sleep?"

Wei Yu: "I'm scared someone might need to find me."

"......"

Chapter 20: The Third Summer.

As soon as I opened the door to the study, I heard Xu Wei Yu and Xiao Di fighting......over video chat.

Wei Yu: "During my high school years, I had a crew cut, I have confidence and natural beauty, so even if I have a crew cut, I'm still handsome. With your haircut, you can't even see properly."

Xiao Di: "My head costed fifty pounds!"

"Heh, your head is probably only worth fifty pounds."

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you want me to repeat that your head is only worth fifty?"

"I don't want to talk to you anymore, tell my sis to come! Where's my sis? Why do you keep using her computer! Tell my sis to come speak with me! You go die!"

Me: "......"

Wei Yu turned to me, "Why does your little brother keep swearing ah."

Me: "Can't help it, his upbringing is bad."

Wei Yu: "How is it ah, it's him who didn't learn well!"

Xiao Di was shouting "Sis, sis, sis" on the other side. I went over and asked, "What's the matter?"

Xiao Di: "There's two days left until I come back. What should I bring you? Sis."

Wei Yu: "I will make all your sister's wishes come true so just mind your own business. Go and stay somewhere cold."

Xiao Di: "You go and stay somewhere cold! No, you go and stay somewhere hot and die from the heat, it's best if you get steamed into a roast pig!"

Wei Yu: "Even if I'm roasted, my breed isn't pig. This is common knowledge, did you graduate from primary?"

Xiao Di: "You didn't graduate from primary!"

Me: "Can't you two rest for a while?"

Wei Yu laughed happily, "It's fun."

Xiao Di: "Shameless!"

Me: "Okay, you two can continue being intimate, I'm going off to watch a movie."

The two: "......"

Xiao Di was very close with his cousin brother who was two years older. Every time he came back, the two of them would get together. Once, I walked past and saw my cousin lightly pat Xiao Di's head smiling with a "you understand" expression. However, Xiao Di said, "If you have anything to say then just say it, my head isn't a touch screen!"

My cousin slyly said, "Did't I tell you to bring back that something something?"

Xiao Di: "What ah?"

"That thing ah."

"Those banned goods? Do you think I can bring them on the plane? Bro."

I asked, "Bring what?"

"Nothing, nothing, nothing! Cousin, I'm going out to play ball with Zi Hao. We'll come back later to eat ha."

Outside the door, cousin shouted quietly at Xiao Di, "What banned goods? Are apples banned goods?! I was nearly done in by you, your brother in law is a police."

Xiao Di: "Police my ass!" I couldn't hear the rest but I think it definitely wasn't any nice words.

Xiao Di was just learning to drive. When we went out, Xiao Di drove but he didn't drive for 10 meters before Wei Yu shouted, "Right lane, drive on the right lane!"

Xiao DI: "You're too noisy!"

"If you don't drive wrong then of course I won't be noisy, who told you to be so stupid."

"I always drive on the left lane, it's you who's stupid okay!"

"Don't swear when you lose ah, no class. Look at the front properly."

He didn't drive 50 metres before Wei Yu shouted, "Big sis* ah, right lane!"

Xiao Di: "Sis your little sis!**"
*[Big sis is similar to my god]
**[Your little sis is similar to your mom in English, basically swearing.]

Me: "......" This relationship's become complicated.

Xi Diao shouted at me, "Sis ah, tell him to shut up, so annoying!"

Me: "I'm used to it."

Them: "......"

Mother bought a puppy to raise, Xiao Di loves pets and he would dote on it using all kinds of methods. In the morning I walked past his room, when I opened the door, I saw him conversing with the puppy, "May I help you? ......No? Ok, Can you help me?" Wearing clothes-ing......

Xiao Di spent his summer vacation at home and whenever he had the time, he would play games. Thus, my mother asked me, "Does he still have hope?"

I haven't spoken when through the open study room door, Xiao Di shouted over, "I know how I'm doing, you guys don't have to worry!"

Later, I asked him, "How do you know how you're doing?"

Xiao Di: "Games and studies need to be grasped in two hands, both hands must be strong."

"......"

At night, I went with Xiao Di to walk the puppy. He conversed with the puppy the whole way, "Did you have enough to eat for dinner?"

Puppy: "Woof."

"Not full ah, but I told yo to eat more so why didn't you eat? You're always wanting more later, it's very hard for me!"

I started laughing.

Xiao Di continued, "As long as you stick with me, you'll will flourish in the future."

Puppy: "Woof woof!"

Xiao Di: "That's right! Call me boss."

Puppy: "Woof!"

Xiao Di: "Good! Later I'll teach you how to play games."

Dog: "Woof woof woof!"

Me: "......"

Xiao Di was chatting with his friends and I stood behind him and read it for a while. I saw him typing some: You mum's (later I found out it meant: fuck) balabala (completely English). Then the other person sent: It should be your mum......

Xiao Di: "Differences in culture is the most annoying!"

I slapped his head, "Speak with more care."

Xiao Di turned, "Sis, I have the most manners in my class."

"I don't believe you."

"It's true, I never say fuck, I only say shit."

I was speechless, there's not much difference between the two.

I went to the supermarket with Xiao Di and Xu Wei Yu. Although we rarely went together, but it is always a soul stirring experience.

Wei Yu: "You push the cart."

Xiao Di: "Do you think that young master, I, is made for pushing carts?"

Wei Yu: "That's true, alright, then you sit in the cart."

Xiao Di: "You go die, go die!"

I pushed the cart between them and walked away.

When buying fruit, Xiao Di: "They have the most summer fruits, sis let's buy a lot okay?"

Wei Yu: "People who don't need to pay themselves don't hurt when talking."

Xiao Di: "It's my sis who's paying not you, why do you talk so much!"

Wei Yu: "Your sis and I are lawful husband and wife, our assets are shared."

Xiao Di: "I'm my sis' lawful little brother! You go die!"

Wei Yu: "Why do you tell me to go die every time ah, can you think of anything new?"

Xiao Di: "Sis!!"

I was busy picking apples.

When buying seafood, Wei Yu: "Qing Xi, buy some shrimps, I want to eat them."

Xiao Di: "I don't want to eat seafood, I'll grow pimples."

Wei Yu: "You growing pimples has nothing to do with me."

Xiao Di: "I wasn't even talking to you! Sis, I don't want to eat seafood."

Wei Yu: "I want to eat!"

Me: "I'll buy some seafood and some beef, so you can both eat what you want okay?"

Xiao Di and Wei Yu both said in unison, "OK, why are you making something originally so simple so complicated!"

When buying daily necessities, Wei Yu: "We've finished the shampoo, let's buy some more?"

Xiao Di: "I only use the brand xxx."

Wei Yu: "You don't live in our house, who cares what brand you use. Plus, even if you say you're living in our house, I still won't buy it."

Xiao Di: "I'm talking to my sis, why do you have so much useless words ah!"

Speaking of which, shouldn't it also be considered a wonder that they can find endless things to quarrel about?

Xiao Di was at home (my parents' house) when he suddenly developed a desire to raise some goldfish. That day I wasn't there but Wei Yu was so before Wei Yu left, he got him to agree to buy five, moreover, he even gave him the money first.

As a result, when I got home that day, I heard Xiao Di shouting, "Pay me back!"

It turns out that two of the fishes died on the way back.

Xiao Di: "Pay me back ah they're all dead!"

Wei Yu lightly said, "There are risks in investments."

Xiao Di: "......"

Xiao Di put the other three fish into the fish tank, it was father's fish tank for his two Arowanas. Then, within five minutes, those three little goldfish were eaten by the Arowanas.

Wei Yu: "I've seen stupid but I've never seen someone so stupid, didn't you know that big fish will eat smaller fish?"

Xiao Di was nearly crazy, "I told you to buy me a fish tank but you said it was fine just raising them in the big fish tank, raising them together would be easier!"

Wei Yu: "I was saying it casually but you still believed it? I can remember that I also said Aeowanas were from the same era as dinosaurs. Even dinosaurs weren't able to stay strong and healthy and are now extinct yet they are still living. You can see how awesome this species are but you actually put those small and weak goldfish next to their mouths, it was your stupidity that killed those little goldfish ah, too cruel."

"Go die!!" Xiao Di ran back to his room and loudly slammed the door!

I looked at Xu Wei Yu who laughed, "I brought a fish tank for him but on the road it fell and broke. I went to find a bag and rushed for fifty meters before I found a small shop and got a small bag. When I poured the water back in, two had already died la."

Is this considered......Silent love?

The next day, Wei Yu went to buy Xiao Di goldfish again in a fish tank, "You don't need to pay me back, just call me brother in law."

Xiao Di: "Get lost!"

Wei Yu: "This child."

Xiao Di was driving so the speed wasn't very fast. Like usual, Xu Wei Yu had a lot to say, he sat at the back pretending to sleep and said, "I can ride a bicycle faster than this."

Xiao Di: "Then go and ride a bicycle ah, I didn't tell you to come and sit!"

"But I'd have to have a bicycle ah, plus I'm lying down not sitting."

Xiao Di shouted, "Boring!"

Xu Wei Yu: "Aiyo, you even know English, wife, please translate."

Completely powerless.

They shouted all the way to the restuarant.

Once we sat down, Xu We Yu ordered. Xiao Di's phone rang, he picked up and used English to converse. The waiter beside us looked at him, Wei Yu: "Stop looking, he's just been overseas for a bit and he's turned so disgusting."
*[Can also mean virtuous.]

After Xiao Di hung up, he started shouting at him, "My friend doesn't understand Chinese. Plus, didn't you go study abroad in Germany? Hmph, it's Hitler's birthplace, I'm looking down on you."

Wei Yu looked at Xiao Di and shook his head, "People without culture are really scary, Hitler's birthplace wasn't Germany, he was born in Austria."

Xiao Di: "......"

Me: "......"

In the summer, I unexpectedly received some kind of award...then, before I went to get the award, I heard Xiao Di ask Xu Wei Yu, "My sis got that award, aren't you going to express yourself?"

Wei Yu: "Last night, I used lots of energy expressing, it's just that you didn't see it."

Me: "......" Don't make it seem so dodgy alright? Last night you shouted yourself hoarse singing is all!

After the summer ended, Xiao Di went back to school.

Xu Wei YU and Xiao Di still fought long distance. I was their messenger.

Recently, Xiao Di's evaluation of Xu Wei Yu is: a righteous face with crooked ways.

I relayed it and after Wei Yu heard, he sneered, "If he can't win, he uses malicious slander, how low."

After Xiao Di heard, he snorted, "Bullying someone younger than him, what kind of hero is that!"

After Xu Wei Yu heard, "How many times have I said it, I've never been a hero."

After Xiao Di heard, he shouted, "Let him go die!"

After Xu Wei Yu heard, he sneered, "Pft, there's no class in cursing."

Fortunately these two don't live together or else there's a big possibility they'd be shouting everyday and fighting every three days.

Also, don't I seem a little like a 'bad person' ah?

Chapter 21: Chapter on travelling.

1. Going out to play with a friend.

It was still back in the high school period. This friend also has an easily irritable personality but she looked cute and well behaved. We took the bus to an attraction sight and on the bus, there were a lot of people so there were a lot of squeezing. My friend's foot got stepped on by someone so she blurted out, "Who ah, take responsibility!"

We turned our heads and saw that it was a guy.

Friend: "I'll let you step on me again, just pretend that I didn't say anything just then." However that hunk tenderly said, "I can't bear that."

My friend was in a mess.

After we got off the bus, that hunk also got off and shouted at my friend, "Beautiful, do you have any contact info?"

Without turning back, my friend raised up the middle finger.

We heard from the back, "1, and then?!"

This time, me and my friend were both speechless.

We started running while laughing and ran til we reached the small hill we were going to climb. We turned back to make sure he didn't follow, then my friend said, "I was scared to death."

"He was probably joking."

"Better be, I don't like this type, I like your Xu Wei Yu's type, so scholarly."

"......" The me who already has a good understanding of that person deeply think that scholarly and Xu Wei Yu are too different.

After we finished playing, we took the bus home. After I got off, I saw Xu Wei Yu sitting beside the flowerbed outside my house, studying a cigarette in his hand.

I walked over, "You smoke?"

He jumped up, "Wow, you scared me! I'm not smoking, before, when I came out of tutoring class, that who who who gave it to me. I was thinking over it is all. Speaking of which, today is Sunday, you're not going to tutoring and you're not home either, where did you go to play?"

I told him that I went with who and who to a small town nearby to go mountain climbing.

He gripped the cigarette and said, "You sure are in a leisurely mood ah, I'm dying from being so busy. Later do you want me to take you out to eat dinner? How about rice noodles?"

"I need to go to the countryside tonight."

"Tch, so annoying, I'm going now." He threw the crumpled cigarette into the flowerbed and said, "See you at school tomorrow. I'm leaving."

Then I watched as he walked off slowly.

At the time, we had just been divided into the different streams. Thinking about it, I was about to follow on pretty well.

2. Going on a sightseeing trip with a tour group.

During summer, we went with our friends who were also a married couple on a tour group to the mountains.

On the three hour car ride, they sat at the back talking lovey dovey words at each other the whole time.

Guy: "Hungry? Do you want to eat some snacks? Thirsty? Do you want something to drink? Aiyo, your spot next to the window is too sunny, I'll help you block the sun, baby. Darling, if you want to sleep, rest on my shoulder."

Over here, the guy by my side: "So hungry ah, wife, take out some snacks from your bag for me to eat. So thirsty, where did you put the water ah, quickly help me find it. Aiyo, it's so sunny, wife can you lend me your hat? Darling, I'm sleepy, let me lie for a bit......"

I thought deeply the whole way there, did I fall in love with the wrong person?

After we reached our destination, everyone got off the car one by one. I pushed the head of the person beside me, "We've arrived, quickly get up."

Xu Wei Yu opened his eyes, "I feel so tired, help me up."

I resolutely left the person and got off the car. He compliantly walked off wearing my hat with ribbons on top. He raised his head and looked at the sky then said, "I feel like I'm going to melt." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

We played for two hours then the tour group arranged lunch.

The food was very plain and the rice wasn't white either. Xu Wei Yu, who has always been picky, said, "The food is terrible, I can't eat it in so I won't eat it." When our friends heard, they said, "Brother, isn't it because you're full from all the snacks you had? I saw you eating the whole ride here."

Wei Yu: "If you're jealous that my wife feeds me then just say it."

Male comrade: "This bare little white face*, I strongly look down on you!"
*[Little white face can also mean pretty boy (in negative connotations- boy toy)]

Wei Yu laughed out loud, "A jealous mouth sure is ugly ah."

At night when we settled into the hotel, our couple friends came to find us to play poker. Thus, the four of us went down to the tea parlour to play cards.

During the game, Wei Yu: "Wife, let me win, let me win."

Me: "Sorry, we're enemies."

Wei Yu: "The money I win will be ours."

The male comrade said to his wife: "Darling, all of my money belongs to you."

That wife expressed: "Wait until you have money then speak."

Male comrade: "......"

Wei Yu: "Aye, beautiful, you're sharp ah!"

The girl was really cute.

After we came back from our trip, Xu Wei Yu ran over and rubbed against me when he finished his shower, "Outside I didn't dare do anything but at home, darling, let's do it, I'm going to die from suffocation."

I was putting our clothes from the trip into the washing machine, I pushed him away and said, "Stop fooling around."

"How am I fooling around ah, I'm being serious. Come on baby!" And then he started taking his clothes off resolutely and throwing them on the floor.

Why did I become very angry watching his actions? ......It's the thoughts of the person responsible for laundry at home.

3.Independent tour with Xu Wei Yu.

When we got to the destination and checked in to the hotel, before we went to sleep, the land line phone rang. Wei Yu casually picked it up and pressed the speaker phone button. A girl's voice asked, "Do you need any services?"

Wei Yu: "What kind of services?"

Other person: "We have all kinds of services."

Wei Yu: "Do you send takeaways?"

The other person clearly paused for a bit then said, "You can only order people."

Wei Yu: "Then forget it, my stomach isn't very good. If I eat something from the outside I'll probably start hiccuping and farting straight away."

The other person hung up.

I was lying on the other side watching TV, I turned and asked him, "If I wasn't here, would you want to taste it out?"

Wei Yu: "If you weren't here, I wouldn't even make jokes. What you think. do you feel like your husband me is becoming better and better at playing jokes?"

"More like better at playing tricks right?"

"Then I won't use trickery." He cast a seductive look at me then started taking off his clothes, "Lets use the real gun*?"
*[花枪 (hua qiang) means playing tricks and the second word, 枪 (qiang) means gun -winks-]

"......"

When we were outside sightseeing, we saw a small shop selling fruit. The shopkeeper was an old lady with white, curly hair. When we were paying, she asked us, "You guys aren't natives right?"

Wei Yu was surprised, "How did you know?"

The old lady laughed, "At the start I didn't know but after I asked and you answered, I now know."

The old lady was probably very bored running a shop alone so when she caught people, she would play some jokes. Wei Yu admired her, "You should go and interrogate convicts, you'll definitely get the real scope after two words!"

"Haha, I don't understand convicts, I only know how to run a store."

When we left, the old lady started humming a tune. The sound wasn't loud but it sounded nice, Wei Yu said that it was a melody from Kunqu Opera.

After we walked ten or so metres, Wei Yu said, "After we're old, lets also go back and live in seclusion in our home town and run a small shop. You love eating fruits, let's open a fruit store. I'll raise my head and ask you, 'Old lady, where are the watermelons ah?' You'll reply, 'Under that box ah old man.' And then we'll sing songs and drink tea and watch the sun rise and wait for the sunset and in the end, we'll walk away hand in hand and wait to meet again in a melon patch* in our next life."
*[Also means under suspicious circumstances].

"......" He's definitely got the draft worked out in his mind right?

Chapter 22: Fighting Chapter

In this world, there are no couples who do not fight. Of course, Wei Yu and I aren't exceptions to this.

The first time I fought with him was, as I had written about earlier, in high school when we were divided into the arts and science streams. At the time he was very angry and ignored me for many days. He kept a long face and lost his temper on everyone he bumped into.

After he was cold for a few days, I saw him that lunchtime eating in the cafeteria. I thought that being like this was really too uncomfortable and I might as well die and be reincarnated earlier so I told the classmates beside me that I was going over there to eat. A few friends quietly encouraged me, "Actually Qing Xi, your Xu Wei Yu is easy to deal with. You just need to act a little spoilt in front of him and he'll become obedient for sure. Then, he'll go on and on about you again."

Inside, I thought, when he is stubborn, he is undefeatable.

When I went over, he saw me and actually turned his head away from me. I froze inside and I was also a bit angry, it was the first time I stupidly thought, if you want a cold war then let's have a cold war, when I become cold, I can definitely maintain it longer than you.

I stood there for half a minute then, as I carried my lunch tray away, I heard him shout over, "What leave, sit down!"

"......"

I walked a small step and he walked a big stride, in the end we became good again.

The second time we fought was during university, second year.

He came to see me but at that time, I was busy with my level six exams. He said he was coming and I replied with "oh, oh", I wasn't able to remember the exact time he was coming, I only remember that he was going to wait until I finished my exams before coming.

The day before my exam was also the day that he came. My cellphone was out of power and I didn't bother to charge it, my head was filled with studying. That day, he couldn't find me and he became angry and anxious. Plus, he didn't know at the time which dorm I was living in.

In the evening, when I came back from the library, I saw that person standing by the water fountain and flower garden with a long face. My heart skipped.

First because it was an accident, I looked for a while before I was sure it was him. Second was because looking at his face, it probably wasn't a normal angry.

When he saw me, he froze then immediately rushed over and said, "Are you doing this intentionally? Ah, your phone has been off for the whole day! I thought something had happened to you! Oh, that's not right, how can you possibly get into an accident. Even if I wait to death, you'll still live on well!" He roughly said this, in the middle, he talked about how his feet were dying for all the standing, in brief, he felt wronged and even more angry.

Whereas my head was buzzing from being shouted at then I had an urge to cry.

Wei Yu immediately frowned and softened his voice, "Gu Qing Xi why are you crying ah? It's me who wants to cry okay!"

It was the guilt from making him wait so long that made my eyes red.

Whereas today, our fights went like this:

In the morning, I called Xu Wei Yu to come and eat breakfast. After calling him twice with no response, I ran inside the room to asked him. He was wrapped in the blankets and after rolling around, he said, "Why don't you bring it over."

I couldn't resist giving a cold laugh, "Then just stay hungry."

I would go and look around the traditional Chinese art market pretty much every weekend.

After I came back with some mulberry tree seeds I had bought, I saw Xu Wei Yu in the area's basketball court playing basketball with some others. In the late autumn day, he was only wearing a singlet.

When he saw me, he ran over and laughed, "I'm hungry."

I couldn't resist laughing coldly again, okay, I've become someone who laughs coldly, I said, "Then go and lie back in bed, I'll bring it to you."

Him: "......"

Lazy people need to receive punishment.

Or else, we'd deliberately make trouble for each other, as follows:

A male friend who I had not seen for a long time came found me to have a chat with. He asked was I married? Did I already have someone? Was he considering me?

After Xu Wei Yu heard, he angrily said, "I want to exterminate him."

"He was only casually asking."

Wei Yu: "I'm only casually saying."

Then, we ate dinner like normal. After dinner, he asked me, "What's that little brat's name? Where is he now?"

"I don't know, I'm not very close with him."

"You should at least know the name."

"I think his surname is Yang. Why must you make me remember him so clearly?"

"......"

Also:

There's a saying that 'asking to the end yet being unable to accept the truth' is a common fault of women.

I said to Xu Wei Yu, "If one day, you betray our marriage, please confess it to me. I'll beat you up, then we'll part and never meet again."

Wei Yu looked at me for a while then said, "If one day you betray our marriage, please confess it to me......I'll die in front of you and we'll never meet again."

Okay, you're the cruel one.

After he said it, he smugly went back to play on the internet.

When I went into the study to get a book, he said, "I can see you from the screen's reflection. You're making faces towards me right, hmph hmph."

Me: "I only raised a presumption is all, you don't need to get angry about it right?"

Wei Yu: "I'm not angry, I just don't feel good about it." He stressed the words, "Don't feel good."

Me: "Then I'll apologise?"

Wei Yu: "Reply with your flesh!"

I pushed his head to the table.

He laughed, "I won't do it any more, let go, aiyo , my neck is twisted!"

After I released him, he sat there rubbing his neck. He looked back at me and bitterly said, "If my neck becomes twisted, the one who is going to be embarrassed is you."

And also:

When I opened a computer files program, a page of highly recommended popped up. The filed rated first was actually divorce papers with more than 600,000 downloads.

I was curious so I downloaded that file and opened it. The first point: the male and female must both consent to the divorce. The second point: handling assets. The third point: dealing with liabilities. Lastly, signatures from both the female and male......So it turns out divorce papers look like this.

After I finished reading, I closed it.

The next day, when I came home from work, Xu Wei Yu was sitting on the sofa in the lounge with a solemn face.

I asked, "Have you eaten yet?"

Wei Yu didn't reply.

Me: "Why didn't you answer my phone call just now? If you haven't eaten yet, I'll make you dumplings?"

Still no reply.

I could feel that there was something he was in disagreement about so I went over and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Your tone doesn't sound so good ah."

He stood up and asked very seriously, "How long have we been married for?"

"More than half a year."

"Is there any part of me that you're unsatisfied with?"

I thought about it. He immediately got angry, "You still need to think?! As expected, you're unsatisfied!"

I was speechless, "Didn't you ask?"

"You shouldn't even need to think about it, hmph!"

"What are you doing?"

"Why did you download the divorce papers?"

"Huh?"

"The divorce papers!"

"That......I just downloaded it casually ah."

"Why did you download it casually?"

"Just to look at it ah."

"Look at what?!"

"I was curious ah." I thought about it then added, "You didn't think that I wanted to get a divorce from you right?"

He froze for a bit then laid down on the sofa, opened the television, grabbed the bag of watermelon seeds from the coffee table and started cracking them......

Why do I really want to hit him?

Chapter 22: Fighting Chapter

In this world, there are no couples who do not fight. Of course, Wei Yu and I aren't exceptions to this.

The first time I fought with him was, as I had written about earlier, in high school when we were divided into the arts and science streams. At the time he was very angry and ignored me for many days. He kept a long face and lost his temper on everyone he bumped into.

After he was cold for a few days, I saw him that lunchtime eating in the cafeteria. I thought that being like this was really too uncomfortable and I might as well die and be reincarnated earlier so I told the classmates beside me that I was going over there to eat. A few friends quietly encouraged me, "Actually Qing Xi, your Xu Wei Yu is easy to deal with. You just need to act a little spoilt in front of him and he'll become obedient for sure. Then, he'll go on and on about you again."

Inside, I thought, when he is stubborn, he is undefeatable.

When I went over, he saw me and actually turned his head away from me. I froze inside and I was also a bit angry, it was the first time I stupidly thought, if you want a cold war then let's have a cold war, when I become cold, I can definitely maintain it longer than you.

I stood there for half a minute then, as I carried my lunch tray away, I heard him shout over, "What leave, sit down!"

"......"

I walked a small step and he walked a big stride, in the end we became good again.

The second time we fought was during university, second year.

He came to see me but at that time, I was busy with my level six exams. He said he was coming and I replied with "oh, oh", I wasn't able to remember the exact time he was coming, I only remember that he was going to wait until I finished my exams before coming.

The day before my exam was also the day that he came. My cellphone was out of power and I didn't bother to charge it, my head was filled with studying. That day, he couldn't find me and he became angry and anxious. Plus, he didn't know at the time which dorm I was living in.

In the evening, when I came back from the library, I saw that person standing by the water fountain and flower garden with a long face. My heart skipped.

First because it was an accident, I looked for a while before I was sure it was him. Second was because looking at his face, it probably wasn't a normal angry.

When he saw me, he froze then immediately rushed over and said, "Are you doing this intentionally? Ah, your phone has been off for the whole day! I thought something had happened to you! Oh, that's not right, how can you possibly get into an accident. Even if I wait to death, you'll still live on well!" He roughly said this, in the middle, he talked about how his feet were dying for all the standing, in brief, he felt wronged and even more angry.

Whereas my head was buzzing from being shouted at then I had an urge to cry.

Wei Yu immediately frowned and softened his voice, "Gu Qing Xi why are you crying ah? It's me who wants to cry okay!"

It was the guilt from making him wait so long that made my eyes red.

Whereas today, our fights went like this:

In the morning, I called Xu Wei Yu to come and eat breakfast. After calling him twice with no response, I ran inside the room to asked him. He was wrapped in the blankets and after rolling around, he said, "Why don't you bring it over."

I couldn't resist giving a cold laugh, "Then just stay hungry."

I would go and look around the traditional Chinese art market pretty much every weekend.

After I came back with some mulberry tree seeds I had bought, I saw Xu Wei Yu in the area's basketball court playing basketball with some others. In the late autumn day, he was only wearing a singlet.

When he saw me, he ran over and laughed, "I'm hungry."

I couldn't resist laughing coldly again, okay, I've become someone who laughs coldly, I said, "Then go and lie back in bed, I'll bring it to you."

Him: "......"

Lazy people need to receive punishment.

Or else, we'd deliberately make trouble for each other, as follows:

A male friend who I had not seen for a long time came found me to have a chat with. He asked was I married? Did I already have someone? Was he considering me?

After Xu Wei Yu heard, he angrily said, "I want to exterminate him."

"He was only casually asking."

Wei Yu: "I'm only casually saying."

Then, we ate dinner like normal. After dinner, he asked me, "What's that little brat's name? Where is he now?"

"I don't know, I'm not very close with him."

"You should at least know the name."

"I think his surname is Yang. Why must you make me remember him so clearly?"

"......"

Also:

There's a saying that 'asking to the end yet being unable to accept the truth' is a common fault of women.

I said to Xu Wei Yu, "If one day, you betray our marriage, please confess it to me. I'll beat you up, then we'll part and never meet again."

Wei Yu looked at me for a while then said, "If one day you betray our marriage, please confess it to me......I'll die in front of you and we'll never meet again."

Okay, you're the cruel one.

After he said it, he smugly went back to play on the internet.

When I went into the study to get a book, he said, "I can see you from the screen's reflection. You're making faces towards me right, hmph hmph."

Me: "I only raised a presumption is all, you don't need to get angry about it right?"

Wei Yu: "I'm not angry, I just don't feel good about it." He stressed the words, "Don't feel good."

Me: "Then I'll apologise?"

Wei Yu: "Reply with your flesh!"

I pushed his head to the table.

He laughed, "I won't do it any more, let go, aiyo , my neck is twisted!"

After I released him, he sat there rubbing his neck. He looked back at me and bitterly said, "If my neck becomes twisted, the one who is going to be embarrassed is you."

And also:

When I opened a computer files program, a page of highly recommended popped up. The filed rated first was actually divorce papers with more than 600,000 downloads.

I was curious so I downloaded that file and opened it. The first point: the male and female must both consent to the divorce. The second point: handling assets. The third point: dealing with liabilities. Lastly, signatures from both the female and male......So it turns out divorce papers look like this.

After I finished reading, I closed it.

The next day, when I came home from work, Xu Wei Yu was sitting on the sofa in the lounge with a solemn face.

I asked, "Have you eaten yet?"

Wei Yu didn't reply.

Me: "Why didn't you answer my phone call just now? If you haven't eaten yet, I'll make you dumplings?"

Still no reply.

I could feel that there was something he was in disagreement about so I went over and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Your tone doesn't sound so good ah."

He stood up and asked very seriously, "How long have we been married for?"

"More than half a year."

"Is there any part of me that you're unsatisfied with?"

I thought about it. He immediately got angry, "You still need to think?! As expected, you're unsatisfied!"

I was speechless, "Didn't you ask?"

"You shouldn't even need to think about it, hmph!"

"What are you doing?"

"Why did you download the divorce papers?"

"Huh?"

"The divorce papers!"

"That......I just downloaded it casually ah."

"Why did you download it casually?"

"Just to look at it ah."

"Look at what?!"

"I was curious ah." I thought about it then added, "You didn't think that I wanted to get a divorce from you right?"

He froze for a bit then laid down on the sofa, opened the television, grabbed the bag of watermelon seeds from the coffee table and started cracking them......

Why do I really want to hit him?

My goal is to finish translating this book before the end of July!

Chapter 24: Hate Cultural Differences the Most

Xu Wei Yu's funny moment from studying abroad no. 1

Because Westerners don't eat chicken feet, it's sold cheaply in Western supermarkets. Once, he bought a big bag of them back to the dorms to stew them. A Westerner friend saw it and curiously asked what it was.

At the time, Wei Yu had just gone overseas and his English wasn't very good. He couldn't find the right word to use so he said, "This is finger", immediately scaring the Westerner off. Wei Yu told me at the time, he really looked down on them, "Their KFC and Mcdonalds are pretty much chicken feasts but yet they don't allow Chinese people to only eat chicken feet huh."

I thought about it, KFC and Mcdonalds really didn't sell chicken feet.

I asked: "Are there really no Westerners who eat chicken feet?" Since chicken feet taste so good.

Wei Yu: "None from the people I know. However, after I finish cooking it, they all say that it smells good! Then I eat it while asking them 'smell good, smell good?' hehehe."

"......"

Xu Wei Yu's funny moment from studying abroad no. 2

Once, when eating oranges, Wei Yu was using an orange peeler. However, a foreigner watched as he moved his hand and the orange skin peeled off as if he was watching a monster. Wei Yu introduced his classmate to this device and his classmate expressed that Chinese people were too scary. Classmate Wei Yu felt very gratified.

Xu Wei Yu's funny moment from studying abroad no. 3

The University of Oxford has a very cheap buffet style dining hall. The food was very good and the prices were cheap but they required you to dress formally. What is meant by formal wear is to add a cloak to your suit.

Once, when Wei Yu went to that school to play with a friend, he was brought to this dining hall to eat.

Xu Wei Yu: "At the time, I nearly thought I had time travelled to the world of Harry Potter!"

Then he said that his friend was also extremely depressed over the dress rules, often, for the sake of not being dressed so embarrassingly, he wouldn't go eat. Xu Wei Yu was very sympathetic, "Luckily I don't go to Oxford."

I said: "It's more like you can't get in right?"

Wei Yu: "Pft, if I put in effort, Oxford, Cambridge and whatever are all a piece of cake!"

Me: "Then how come you don't put in effort? It's still that line, it's more like your effort isn't enough right?"

Wei Yu: "It's because I'm scared that you'll be stressed to be with someone of a much higher social position."

"......" I said, "You think too highly of yourself."

"Darling don't leave ah! I'm wrong, almighty one, little me will never dare to say such exaggerations again!"

Once, Xiao Di phoned me in tears, "Didn't mom send me Jinhua sausages to school? Then when my classmates saw it, they asked what it was so I said leg ah leg*, then someone nearly phoned the cops and got me arrested!"
*[In China, ham sausages are called huotui which literally translates to fire leg]

"Then?"

"Sis, you have no compassion!"

"It's you who didn't learn English properly."

"There are some Chinese that are very hard to translate okay?"

"Isn't it just Jinhua leg?"

"......"