"V? Is-is everything alright?" Jimin asked, placing his hand on Taehyung's shoulder. Taehyung instantly snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Jimin slowly. They were currently in the food hall for dinner and Taehyung was sitting by himself at a table, his head in his hands.

"Huh? Yeah- um- I'm fine." Taehyung said, his voice hoarse. Jimin pressed his lips together, because clearly Taehyung wasn't fine.

"You sure? You look like you haven't slept for days." Jimin mumbled, slipping into the seat beside Taehyung. Taehyung's leg was jittering, a cup of black coffee on his table.

"Yeah.. Haven't slept a lot. Or.. at all." Taehyung mumbled, reaching his hand out to grab the cup with a jittery hand and reached it to his lips.

Jimin knows Taehyung hates coffee. Hates the taste of bitter things, especially black coffee. He must really not be sleeping at all.

"Coffee for dinner?" Jimin asked. Taehyung looked at Jimin, his eyes hooded and riddened of any light that they ever had.

"Not hungry."

"Why?" Jimin asked and Taehyung snickered, running his hand through his hair.

"You know why, Park. I don't need to tell you." Taehyung mumbled and then stood up. "I'm gonna go- at least try and get some sleep." He said and then walked out of the room, dumping the cup into the bin.

Jimin sighed to himself, watching Taehyung walk out. Yes, he knew exactly why Taehyung looked so pale and sickly, with bags under his eyes the size of rocks. Jungkook.

It had been a week since the occurrence of Jungkook slapping Taehyung in the middle of the hallway. Jimin later found out why that happened and he was.. confused? Confused as to why Taehyung was so desparate for Jungkook, yet wasn't ready to commit himself.

Nonetheless, Jimin stood up and walked over to Jungkook, who was sitting with the other guys, his spoon moving mindlessly around his vegetable soup- which was still full.

"Kook, eat something." Jin said, poking his side. Jungkook sighed, reaching the spoon up to his lips, and then dropping it.

"I'm not hungry." Jungkook mumbled and Jimin snickered. This was seriously eccentric. Jungkook looked up at Jimin, wondering why he was so amused.

"Can I ask why?" Jimin asked, sitting down beside him. Jungkook looked at him, his eyes the same as Taehyung's. Mudded and fogged.

"You know why." Jungkook mumbled and Jimin almost screamed.

"Yeah. Yeah I do. I know everything around here." Jimin said, before giving Jungkook a small smile.

*

Taehyung walked out of the food hall, his steps staggered. He felt like he was going to throw up. His mind felt heavy, so heavy, pinning him down. The heaviness cascaded through his body, filling his lungs and drowning his heart. His mind was cluttered, a certain paroxysm bubbling in it, waiting to explode.

He needed to sleep. He couldn't. Everytime he slept, his mind forced him to dream of things that made him wake up with tears in his eyes. It was rather paradoxical, for he was trying to achieve tranquility yet his mind was trying to achieve pugnacity.

It's like his mind was guilting him. Guilting him for making Jungkook cry. Inside, he felt as if he deserved it. Deserved every bit of pain for hurting Jungkook. His own guilt manifested inside of him and drove him insane, making his dreams utter nightmares.

Taehyung was a lucid dreamer. He could control his dreams. When he slept, he knew he was dreaming. He could do it since he was younger. It was fun- it meant he could literally do anything he wanted when he was asleep.

Then why was he forcing pain upon himself in his dreams? He knew he was dreaming, yet he wouldn't stop an onslaught of chaos, filled with rotting flesh and screaming demons. A loop of Jungkook crying, glimpses of Yugyeom and Jungkook in bed, flashes of Jungkook slapping him-

Maybe it's because somewhere on the inside, he knew he deserved it. He knew he deserved pain for breaking Jungkook's heart so many times.

Taehyung reached his room. He reached for his key and quickly reached it to the door, and then heard some whispering and giggling.

He turned to where the whispering was coming from and then saw two boys in the grade below walking through the hallway. They had their hands together and cheeks tinted, both looking at each other with mirthful eyes, lips drawn to smiles. Taehyung looked at them, curiosity getting the better of him.

Suddenly, one of the boys realized that Taehyung was there and instantly moved away from the other guy, almost pushing him away a little.

"Hey V." The guy said and the one who was pushed looked confused and a little hurt, until he saw V and widened his eyes.

Taehyung just looked at them, saw how scared they looked. Scared of being themselves because they thought V was going to beat them up for being faggots. They feared him. They feared being themselves around him.

Taehyung opened his dorm room door and closed it, letting out a sharp breath when he entered.

Taehyung kicked his shoes off, throwing his keys to the side of the room. He didn't turn the lights on. He just fell upon his bed and felt his head hit the cushion. He was so fucking confused.

On one hand, he was accepting his sexuality. Accepting that he actually does like boys. Accepting that he is not straight and that he is in fact head over heels for Jeon Jungkook. Accepting that he wants Jungkook by his side. Accepting that Jungkook has by far been one of the only things to make him so happy.

On the other hand, he has the words of his mother. Accepting that he was be disappointing her. Whatever that's left of her. He would be going against someone he loves. Someone who died and made Taehyung scream at the skies for years- begging it for a piece of its star to come back.

Taehyung closed his eyes, feeling the heaviness from his mind drift away ever so slowly. He felt himself falling asleep, deeper, and deeper.

"Taehyungie. My honey bear, psst- wake up!"

Taehyung's eyes flew open. The first thing he noticed was that the windows to his dorm were wide open, curtains flying out. The bright light from the moon splayed across the room, the night sky a dark blue.

His eyes wandered, until he saw a woman with her eyes bright as stars and skin light as pearls. Taehyung felt himself sit up, eyes widened.

"M-mom?" Taehyung asked. His mother was sitting on his bed, dressed in a yellow dress that she wore once when she took Taehyung to the park when he was 3.

"Hi." She said, a smile on her face. Taehyung was confused, so very confused. He felt her smile reach his face too.

"What-what are you doing here?" Taehyung asked and she reached forward, placing her hand on his cheek, her hand pale. She was beautiful. The most beautiful woman Taehyung had ever seen. The last time he saw her was when she was so small, smaller than he'd ever seen her- her bones reeking through her sickly white skin. She was stuck in a tight bed, with no hair on her head. Taehyung remembers the sight too clearly.

"I'm here because you've been thinking about me recently. Something's been bothering you. What is it?" She asked and Taehyung looked at her arms- they had no veins. Just pale white skin, dazzling like sunlight against water.

Taehyung's mother was young. She'd always been young. She had Taehyung when she was merely 18. She was looked down upon from other mothers and even her own, but she loved Taehyung and was the sweetest mother a child could have.

"It's-it's nothing." Taehyung said and she laughed. Taehyung looked up. He missed her laugh. So much. It filled up the room, it was beautiful.

"Come on Tae, you know I know you better than that. What is it?" She asked, voice soft like velvet. He remembers her voice, it sang to him every night.

"I-I think I like boys, Mumma. I'm-I'm sorry. I know y-you said you'd disown a child who was gay, but-" Taehyung began, tears pricking to his eyes.

"Woah woah- when did I say that?" She asked and Taehyung looked up at her. "Father told me you-"

She began laughing again. Taehyung remembers that laugh brightening his day up.

"Your father has always been a liar. That's what made me dislike him so much." She sighed and Taehyung tilted his head.

"You-you don't care if I like boys?"

"Even if I did- why does it matter? You've never done a thing your father tells you to do. I know you're hiding who you truly are for me. But think about it, bubba. I'm gone now, aren't I? I would hate myself if I'd be the reason you don't be true to yourself." His mother whispered and Taehyung blinked, suddenly feeling a lot lighter.

"Mom, you-"

"Taehyung. You're dreaming." She whispered again, a small smile etching onto her lips. "You know you're dreaming. These words aren't mine. They are yours. You know deep within yourself that whoever you love is your decision. Not mine. Not anyone else's. It's yours. Even if I was alive, you get to decide who you want to love.
Seriously, Tae. What matters to me is if you're happy or not. Clearly this boy who you like makes you very very happy. I don't want to be the one to take that away from you." She said and Taehyung smiled, and felt himself ease up.

"He does make me happy, Mumma. I like him a lot." Taehyung whispered and his mother smiled, crinkles setting by her eyes.

"I don't think you like him." She said and Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows.

"W-what?"

"I think you love him." She said and that just caused Taehyung to be even more confused.

"Love? I-I don't- I- he doesn't even love me. Mumma, I don't love-"

"I think you do, honey bear." Mumma whispered and leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Taehyung's forehead.

Taehyung woke up. Suddenly, it was morning outside and his headache was gone. Taehyung sat up, a smile on his face. He knew what to do. He-he knew. His mind wasn't cluttered anymore. He wasn't utterly confused anymore.

He was going to do whatever it takes to get Jungkook back. He'd sell an arm and a limb, he doesn't care. He just doesn't care. He was going to prove to everyone- He was going to prove to Jungkook- He was going to prove to himself. Because- because-

Taehyung and Jungkook were meant to be.