Jungkook was in the boys lounge, chewing on his thumbnail. He felt anxious, he doesn't know why, he just did. All the other guys were there, except for Taehyung. The boys were all laughing, probably talking about birds or something.

"Guys!" Yugyeom said, running up to the six of them, who were all seated in the couch area in front of the tv. They turned to him and he made sure no one was listening, and then grinned.

"Jackson's cousin snuck some alcohol to him. We're deciding to meet up at his dorm tonight and just chill. You guys wanna join?" Yugyeom asked.

Jungkook snickered. He knew this was going to happen. They drink once, they drink every other time.

"Sure man." Yoongi said and the other guys hummed in agreement. Yugyeom turned to Jungkook.

"You, Kook?" Yugyeom asked and Jungkook shook his head.

"I-I don't think so. I don't feel so comfortable drinking in school. Don't wanna be caught or something." Jungkook said and Yugyeom pursed his lips.

"Fine.. but feel free to drop by if you want to." Yugyeom said, placing his hand on Jungkook's shoulder and squeezing it lightly. Jungkook smiled at him and Yugyeom smiled back and walked back to his friends.

"Guys!" Jimin suddenly said and everyone looked at him. He was looking at his phone, eyes widened.

"Eka and V broke up!" Jimin said, looking directly at Jungkook, whose eyes widened.

"What?" Jungkook let out and everyone looked equally confused. "How do you know?" Hoseok asked and Jimin gulped.

"She just posted some shady ass post on instagram captioned 'tell me boy, bye'. Pretty sure that means she and Taehyung broke up." Jimin said and Yoongi snickered.

"Yup. He dumped her." Yoongi said and Jin laughed. Jungkook's eyes were still widened.

Like on command, Taehyung walked into the boys lounge. He looked around the room, until his eyes fell on Jungkook. Both of them locked eyes and then Jungkook looked away.

Taehyung walked up to them, a fiery look in his eyes, his eyes dark, gaze hard.

"You dumped Eka?" Namjoon asked.

"Yeah. Jungkook, we need to talk." Taehyung said, words articulate. His eyes were still set on Jungkook, making the boy fidget in his seat.

"I-I told you, V, we're done talking." Jungkook said in a small voice and Taehyung's gaze darkened.

"Did I sound like I was giving you an option?" Taehyung growled and Jungkook instantly stood up, sensing the anger in his tone. Jungkook felt his stomach twisting up in knots as he followed Taehyung out of the lounge, meeting eyes with Jimin, who looked confused.

The sound of their footsteps against the marble flooring rang in Jungkook's ears as he walked closely behind Taehyung.

"Tae- what is it?" Jungkook asked, not knowing why Taehyung looked so pissed. Unless-

"Eka told me something." Taehyung said and Jungkook froze in his steps. Taehyung heard his footsteps stop and turned around.

"T-Tae- I-" Jungkook started, but Taehyung stepped closer to him, shutting him up.

"Let's go talk in my room." Taehyung said and Jungkook felt his stomach wracking. He didn't want to go through all of that again. All of Taehyung yelled at him for telling Eka.

"I didn't mean to do it Tae, I-I didn't-" Jungkook piped out, his voice cracking. Taehyung breathed out in aggravation and then grabbed the back of Jungkook's shirt and kind of forced him towards his room. When they reached his room, Taehyung pushed him inside his room and then closed the door and locked it behind him.

Jungkook turned around, suddenly remembering all the words Taehyung yelled at him last time and how his anger completely took over him. He doesn't want- he can't-

"Tae- I-I didn't mean to tell her, I'm sorry- p-please-" Jungkook let out and Taehyung stepped towards him.

"Jungkook-"

"I was- I was drunk! I swear- I wouldn't tell anyone that you're not straight- I-I-"

"Jungkook!" Taehyung snapped and Jungkook shut up. Taehyung's eyebrows furrowed and he stepped closer to him, placing his hands on Jungkook's waist.

"You-you're shaking, Kook-" Taehyung said and Jungkook opened his mouth to say something, and fuck, anxiety was brimming up his chest.

"I-I don't want you to yell at me." Jungkook squeaked and Taehyung's eyes instantly softened. He wrapped his arms around Jungkook.

"I won't. Relax- I won't yell at you. I'm not mad at you." Taehyung whispered and felt Jungkook slowly relax a little in his arms.

Truth is, Taehyung was mad, but not anymore. Not after seeing how genuinely nervous Jungkook looked.

"There you are. You're fine. I'm not mad. You're alright, baby, you're alright." Taehyung whispered and Jungkook had his head tucked in Taehyung's neck.

"She-she told me that she'd tell everyone you're-you're gay if I keep talking to you." Jungkook said after a bit and Taehyung pulled away from the hug to look at him.

"W-what?" He said and Jungkook nodded, blinking his big doe eyes.

"I... didn't mean all those mean things I said, Taehyung." Jungkook said and saw how Taehyung's eyes became a little bigger.

"I do care about you. I-I do want us to be a thing." Jungkook said, saying way less than how he actually feels.

"Are-are you serious?" Taehyung asked and Jungkook nodded, and saw Taehyung get a big smile on his face.

Taehyung pressed his lips against Jungkook's, pressing him against the wall. Jungkook whimpered into the kiss, tangling his fingers into Taehyung's hair.

Taehyung gripped Jungkook's waist tighter, spinning him around and pressing him against the bed. They kissed for a few minutes and then Taehyung pulled away, both panting.

"I broke up with her. She tried to blackmail me too. But it's okay. I told her that this thing could ruin her too. So, no one's gonna know anything, Kook." Taehyung said, smiling. Jungkook giggled and he couldn't help a smile rising on his face as well.

Jungkook began kissing Taehyung again, cupping his face. This was good. This was good. They... they were fine.

Then why did Jungkook still feel a knot in his stomach? Still feel like the fog between them hasn't lifted? Still felt like there was so much to go.

Taehyung climbed on top of him as Jungkook lay down on the bed, wrapped his legs around Taehyung's waist. Finally, they could kiss without anything weird, or anything being one sided. They could be together.

"Taehyungie~" Jungkook giggled, feeling Taehyung kiss down his neck and practically cover him with sloppy kisses. He couldn't help but feel a smile on his face and saw how Taehyung looked up at him from where his face was hovering over his stomach.

Taehyung lifted Jungkook's yellow shirt up from his naval and began kissing down his stomach, making Jungkook laugh loudly because it felt so ticklish.

"Ah- T-Tae-" Jungkook breathed out, laughing loudly at the feeling of warm lips against his tummy.

"Love your tummy. And your thighs. And your ass. Your legs. Your neck. Your face. Your cheeks. Your eyes. Your lips. Your-" Taehyung started and Jungkook whacked him on the head.

"God- Tae- stop being such a weirdo." Jungkook giggled, but he secretly loved it so much. Taehyung reached up and pressed their lips together again, his lips moving intricately with Jungkook's, perfectly in sync.

This was.. what Jungkook wanted. Right? He wanted Taehyung. He wanted them to be okay again, without the 'breaking hearts' part. Without the 'girlfriend' part. So what was wrong? Why did Jungkook's butterflies feel like moths, rotting up his insides rather than floating around in them?

"Finally," Taehyung whispered as he pulled away, a smile still on his face. "We can go back."

Jungkook paused. His heart began beating faster. No- no no-

"Go-go back to what?" Jungkook asked, a little scared of the answer. Don't- no-

"To being.. us. How we were." Taehyung whispered and then leaned down to kiss Jungkook's neck. "Y'know. Fuckbuddies."

Jungkook pushed Taehyung off him in an instant and then got off the bed, looking away from him. His eyes were pale.

"Kook... what's wrong?" Taehyung asked and Jungkook turned around slowly, rubbing his face in aggravation.

"I don't want to be fuckbuddies." Jungkook said and Taehyung's head tilted in confusion. "I-I don't want that. I-"

"But you told me you wanted us to be a thing, Jungkook-" Taehyung said and Jungkook shook his head, fear invading his body.

"Not-not like that. I-" Jungkook started, fear pulsing in his nerves. "I want more." Jungkook whispered and Taehyung blinked, not understanding.

"But-" Taehyung started, looking at Jungkook with hesitation. "-we-we had so much fun when we were just being.. normal. Just fooling around. That was fun."

"Is that all I am, Tae? Just-just someone to have 'fun' with?" Jungkook asked and Taehyung had a look of dubiety cross his face.

"No- no, Kook, you're so much more than that." Taehyung whispered and Jungkook let out a sound of frustration. He breathed out. Tell him.

Jungkook stepped closer to Taehyung, reaching out to hold his arms. He gulped and then looked up to meet Taehyung's eyes.

"Then let me know how much I mean to you. Tae, I-" Jungkook hesitated and Taehyung looked confused.

"What?" Taehyung asked. Jungkook closed his eyes and then opened them, sucking in a sharp breath. You can do this. Just tell him. You've wanted this for ages.

"I-I want to be your boyfriend." Jungkook breathed out. "I want us to be more than fuckbuddies. I want us to-to go on dates, and-and hold hands, and kiss, and-" Jungkook started, not realizing he began rambling.

Taehyung left Jungkook's hands.

"Jungkook." Taehyung said, eyes full of confusion, hesitation, denial.

"I know it's new for you, Tae- but-but I just- I also know you like me. You have feelings for me too, right? So why don't we just-" Jungkook started and saw how Taehyung stepped back from him.

"I-I can't." Taehyung let out, sounding choked up himself. "I'm straight."

Jungkook's shoulders fell.

"I don''t even think I know what feelings are. I.. I'm not ready for that stuff... Just- c'mon, Kook, why can't we just do the same stuff without the label? It'll be the same, but-"

"Don't do this, Tae. Don't." Jungkook whispered out, barely coherent. He walked back and gripped the desk for comfort, his heart feeling the same way it had time and time again.

Broken.

"Honestly, it's not- it's not a big deal, Kook. We can keep having sex and stuff, just without the-"

"Why do we keep doing this?" Jungkook said, looking down at his shoes. Taehyung frowned. "Doing what?"

Jungkook looked up and then Taehyung saw the tears in his eyes, threatening to spill out, revealing his inner contractions.

"Make me think I have a chance with you and then completely fucking ruin it!" Jungkook said, his voice breaking. He felt a tear fall down his face and he reached his hands, wiping his eyes quickly.

"I-I'm so f-fucking stupid. Thinking I had a-a chance with you." Jungkook hiccuped, the taste of salty tears reaching his lips.

"Jungkook- wait- you-you do." Taehyung tried, his own heart wallowing at Jungkook's tears.

"No, V. I don't. D-do you think I-I just randomly thought of this now?" Jungkook questioned, wiping his tears with the back of his hand.

"I-I've wanted you to be mine for ages, Tae. I had to see you flirt with other girls, tell me I mean nothing to you, sleep with someone else, break my heart so many times, and so much more. I just- I can't do it anymore, Tae. I can't." Jungkook said and tried to rush towards the door, but Taehyung grabbed him.

"I'm sorry, Kook- please don't cry." Taehyung whispered and Jungkook slapped his hand away, harshly.

"Don't fucking touch me!" Jungkook screamed, his eyes red from tears. "This isn't the first time I've cried over you, Kim Taehyung." Jungkook said and Taehyung felt his stomach pulse.

"But it's going to be the last. I-I can't- I can't do this anymore. You keep hurting me. This-this is too toxic. Don't- don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't try and contact me. Just- don't. I don't wanna be friends, or even pretend you exist anymore." Jungkook said and each word was like a dagger to Taehyung's heart.

"K-Kook, don't- you- p-please- listen, w-we can just-" Taehyung tried and Jungkook laughed, humorlessly.

"Clearly we're not meant to be, Tae." Jungkook said and Taehyung reached forward and grabbed Jungkook by his shirt.

"We are. We are meant to be, Jungkook, we-" Taehyung breathed out and Jungkook finally tried looking him in the eyes. They both saw the same thing in each other, fragmented souls looking for something completely different, yet exactly the same.

"Then tell me." Jungkook whispered, his eyes still glazed with tears, voice still light. "Tell me you actually want me as something more. Tell me you're not straight. Tell me you're not scared of accepting who you really are." Jungkook said and saw Taehyung freeze up.

Your mother told me she'd disown any child of hers if he was gay.

Taehyung felt like he got punched in the stomach.

"I-I can't." Taehyung breathed out, voice breaking. He couldn't see it. Couldn't see Jungkook crumble again.

He heard a sound. He wasn't sure if it was a laugh, or a cry. His ears were ringing with white noise. His eyes were blurry. Jungkook was just a disassociated figure.

"There." Jungkook squeaked out, his voice muffled to Taehyung's ears. "We're not meant to be."

Jungkook opened the door and walked out, closing the door behind him. And when the door closed, they both began crying.