I pulled out my phone and saw I had fifteen messages.

I opened the one for 80.

WAIT WHAT? SHE'S leaving me?

I nearly cried as I sent, "ok, I'll head over and pack my bags."

I went over to the other messages.

Damn Lee, twelve messages?

I chuckled at the stupid fucking autocorrect remark.

I replied with, "pfft, I don't need to talk to someone."

I opened the other message.

WHAT THE Dick IS THAT PICTURE OF SPAM? HOLY SHIT.

I dropped my phone like it was hot.

Clearly scam/spam, so I deleted it.

Blocked the number even.