jaemin is actually my favorite character here ;-;

❝you want me to help you with renjun?❞

the two were seated alone at an empty classroom. jeno gathered the courage to explain everything to jaemin and very disregarded his own pride just to ask for help from him. he had no one to turn to and he could see how close jaemin and renjun are these past days.

he even felt bad for asking jaemin for help.

❝i know.❞ jaemin started after a few minutes of silence between them.

jeno's eyes widened in curiosity as it wasn't the answer he expected from jaemin. he then turned to face the male, waiting for him to continue what he was about say.

taking a deep breath, jaemin sighed. ❝you are just new to this and you don't want to let go of renjun, that's why you are acting like this.❞ he explained, earning a nod from jeno to whom the older is admitting. ❝you're just used to people who comes and go which is why you're having a hard time with renjun because it's a serious relationship you're getting yourself into.❞

jeno nodded once more, finally having someone who understands him. ❝i want to explain to him but he won't even listen to me.❞

❝because he is now starting to believe that you're just jeno who—❞

❝loves no one but himself.❞ honestly, that line hurt like a bullet straight to the heart. what wounded it more is the person saying it. in jeno's case, it was renjun who said that. someone so important to him and someone whom he loved so genuinely. ❝what am i going to do?❞

❝you're asking me as if i know.❞ jaemin let out a chuckle, silencing himself the moment he realized that it wasn't the time to joke around. clearing his throat, ❝what i know though is that you have broken the trust left he had with you.❞ he said.

❝i fucked up big time, didn't i?❞ jeno groaned as he buried his head down to his palms.

as much as jaemin wants to keep it to himself, he nodded his head and agreeing to his question. ❝yeah, you did.❞

but jaemin didn't want to blame it all on jeno. although, jeno was at fault when he decided to go to a bar. they all know that renjun wasn't going to obliged to that. like what the chinese had said, he didn't want to prevent jeno from being happy. but jeno should have thought if going to a bar was a good idea or night. especially when there are a lot of temptations there, and especially when he's courting someone.

even though, it still wasn't jeno fault. partly, yes, but not all of it. renjun didn't even stop for a moment and try to understand his situation, he didn't listen to jeno's explanation. again, we can't blame it all on renjun since he was still scarred from jeno's past habits so it is quite obvious why is acting that way. he could have thought that jeno had already changed though, but he didn't and went on with accusing jeno for everything.

jaemin ruffled his hair, groaning at how his head is hurting from all the thinking.

❝i can't find another way for him to listen to me so you came to my mind.❞ jeno looked down and played with his fingers. ❝renjun listens to you.❞

❝what—❞

❝actually, everyone does.❞ jeno bit his lower lip and took time to find the right words to say. ❝you're such an angel. it makes me feel guilty for hating you even for a slight bit.❞

feeling heat rise to his cheeks, jaemin looked away as he didn't know he'd be receiving such compliment from jeno.

❝i'm not just saying this because i have a favor to ask, okay?❞ jeno turned his head to the flustered male. ❝i really do mean it. i'm glad renjun had met you, you're even doing a better job at being his bestfriend even though we know each other longer.❞

the younger let out a sound that made jeno flinch from his place. ❝stop that.❞

staring at jaemin for a good second, the older let out a laugh at how red he looked. ❝are you blushing?❞

❝shut up.❞

both of them looked at each other before bursting out laughing out of no where. their laughter died after a few minutes and silence came to surround them once more. a comfortable one, that is. jeno was getting comfortable around jaemin that he wasn't feeling pressured to express himself.

frowning, jeno remembered that he had another thing to talk with jaemin.

❝i'm sorry.❞

the younger raised a brow, not knowing what he meant. ❝for what?❞

❝for asking you such things when you have feelings for renjun.❞

gasping and feeling the heat rise up to his face once more, jaemin scooted away at such distance between them. ❝where did you know that!?❞

he actually thought he kept his feelings very well.

pouting, jeno felt like he invaded someone else's privacy. which he did, actually. ❝i wasn't eavesdropping, i just overheard your conversation with donghyuck.❞

waving his hands frantically, jaemin felt so embarrassed that jeno had found out about his feelings towards the chinese. ❝i'm really sorry that i—❞

❝you don't have to apologize,❞ not liking the image of jaemin being guilty for liking someone. ❝we can't control what we feel towards someone.❞

jaemin stayed silent, his lips pressed into a thin line as he didn't know what else to say.

❝although, i'm not quite caring.❞ the younger snapped his head towards the older who had suddenly said that. ❝so i don't think i'll be able to share renjun with you.❞

jeno then received a nudge from the younger, making him raise a brow at him. jaemin let out a laugh, not a bitter one, as he teased jeno at what he had just said. ❝my tiny crush for him can't beat your love for each other.❞

honestly, jeno was grateful that jaemin wasn't trying to be his rival. he felt bad though because no matter how small that crush he has for renjun, it will still hurt no matter what.

❝i'll try to talk to him.❞

out of excitement, jeno threw his body towards the younger and gave him the most tightest hug he could. jaemin almost couldn't breathe from his embrace. fortunately for him, jeno pulled away and settled with a pat on the back as he realized that he was being too touchy with jaemin.

with a shy smile, he stared straight to the younger's eyes. ❝thank you.❞

pointing a finger at jeno, jaemin gave him the most threatening look he could form. ❝don't even try hurting him, alright? if i find out that you hurt him, i'm gonna stab you with a spoon while you're sleeping.❞

the older almost thought that he was acting cute. ❝got it.❞

but his chuckle made jaemin feel like he wasn't sincere enough. ❝i'm serious!❞

❝so am i!❞

just then, a familiar ringtone cut the the two off from shouting as to how sincere they were with their words. jaemin limited himself from teasing jeno about his ringtone and gave him a look, earning a click from the tongue from the older who moved away and answered the phone call.

jaemin sat there in silence as he waited for jeno to finish the phone call and when he did, he gave him a smirk.

❝so, a big fan of gaycity sleep, huh?❞ he teased with his brows going up and down.

jeno's ringtone was the latest comeback of a specific group which was called walkin'. looking away, he couldn't believe that jaemin had to know that. ❝i need to go, my father just arrived.❞

the younger didn't ask anymore questions as to where his father had went so he nodded and waved his hand at the older who stood up. ❝bye, and oh! my favorite in the album is twelve months a year.❞

jeno placed his phone back to his pocket and rolled his eyes at jaemin. ❝it's just twelve months, there's no 'a year'.❞ but then gave him a smile, ❝same.❞

jaemin laughed at him. ❝you better go.❞

❝yeah.❞ the older turned around and took a bow of gratitude. ❝thank you.❞

and with that jaemin was left alone inside the empty classroom, being reminded of renjun asking him out after classes would end.

heaving out the most stressful sigh he could let out, jaemin placed his head down on the desk in front of him and frowned while looking at no where.

❝i'm so tired.❞

🍑

sitting down on a bench, staring up to the night sky filled with stars that formed that something jaemin was to lazy to decipher, renjun had arrived and threw him a can of soda. the burger, renjun passed to him gently. jaemin mumbled a 'thanks' before scooting to his right and giving space for renjun to sit next to him.

❝sorry if this is all i can give to you.❞ renjun pouted. ❝i'm kinda broke as of the moment.❞

jaemin nudged him with a chuckle. ❝this is fine. why would you want to treat me out anyways?❞

❝as a thank you,❞ renjun said, sipping on his can of soda. ❝for being here with me.❞

that made jaemin remember of what he and jeno had talked a while ago inside that empty classroom. he didn't know where to start, or what words to use as not to offend  renjun in any way. ❝don't you want to listen to him?❞ his question came out as a whisper, being hesitant.

❝and listen to his lies?❞ renjun scoffed, starting to munch on the burger he bought. ❝no thanks.❞

staring at the burger he had on his lap, jaemin held back the urge to just snap and get the two together. ❝he did something wrong..❞

❝of course he did—❞

❝but renjun, he didn't mean it.❞

what is he doing, actually? he finally has an advantage here. jeno and renjun are fighting, he can just get renjun to fall for him, and he finally can have what he wants. why is he even trying to put them back together when he will receive nothing from this? nothing but a heartbreak.

yet, his conscience was knocking on the door.

❝jaemin..❞

❝your emotions got the best of you that you didn't see how jeno was shocked when she kissed him.❞ renjun's fists clenched when he remembered what had happened that very night.

❝he's acting that way because he saw me. he wanted to fool me that he didn't mean it.❞

❝no, renjun.❞ biting his lower lip, jaemin couldn't believe that he's really out there hurting himself. ❝whether you're there or not, he'd still push her away.❞

❝how would you know that?❞ it was strange to see jaemin siding with jeno when all that boy does was threaten him.

❝because you said it yourself,❞ jaemin turned his body to face renjun, wanting for the chinese to finally snap back to his senses. ❝he changed. you changed him, renjun.❞

having his eyes shut, renjun didn't want to get himself hurt again. ❝that was when i was still stupid enough to believe—❞

❝jeno is also stupid, still is, that he doesn't know what to do because you are the first one he has a serious relationship with.❞ jaemin cuts him off, ❝you're the first and he wants you to be the only one he will be having a serious relationship with.❞

renjun sat there in silence, and in shock, listening to whatever jaemin had to say.

❝he wanted to tell you all these but you wouldn't give him a chance to explain.❞ jaemin told him, ❝but it's okay, he understands. you are scarred from his old bad habits but you could have at least tried to open up and have a talk with him. instead, you shut him out and left him there.❞

jaemin hasn't been in a relationship yet here he is, educating his brokenhearted friend.

❝renjun, you are not the only one hurt.❞ the younger's voice getting softer to prevent himself from snapping anytime soon. ❝jeno also.❞

holding himself back from letting tears fall, he had enough of it, renjun forced his head down for jaemin not to see him breakdown. ❝why are you telling me all these?❞

❝because!❞ jaemin groaned in frustration, ruffling his hair. the next thing we know, he might get bald. ❝you keep on holding on to the past jeno, who is a dick if i do say so myself, and not accepting the new jeno! also, jeno is too much of a chicken to even go up to you and talk things out. he'd panic and ends up saying the wrong things, which you will misunderstand after!❞

❝jaemin..❞

❝what!?❞ the younger shut his eyes tight and mentally hit his head for raising his voice at renjun. ❝i'm sorry, what?❞

❝do you think it's too late for me to go and talk to him?❞ renjun looked up, tears already welled up from his eyes.

❝god, no!❞ he finally felt successful as he brought the chinese back to his senses. ❝you two need to talk, right now, right at this moment, and fix everything. neither of you were at fault, it was just all a misunderstanding and i do hope you know that.❞

renjun couldn't help but laugh at jaemin who looked stressed out when it's he and jeno fighting. ❝i just know that now.❞

❝finally!❞ jaemin felt like he was watching a drama ending.

❝thank you.❞ renjun brought his hands up to jaemin's and held it, caressing it ever so softly. ❝for telling me all these.❞

is this the only thing jaemin want to say though?

jaemin had thought of it for a while and he came to a decision that he should admit his feelings to renjun to get this pain off his chest. ❝y-yeah, sure.❞ but he's also a chicken for backing out the last minute.

❝now,❞ sniffling, renjun went to wipe his tears away and stood up from his seat from the bench. ❝i feel like i need to apologize to a specific butcher knife.❞

smiling at how determined renjun looked, jaemin felt his heart ache. he should also be happy for the both of them, also proud for himself for getting the two back together.

but knowing that renjun can never be his hurt him right where his heart beats for him.

❝you should go and talk to him.❞ jaemin said, ❝he probably is crying ass out by now.❞

❝jeno is not a crybaby.❞ but renjun did laugh at the thought. ❝thank you, for all of this. i owe you so much.❞

the more renjun stays here with him, the more he has the urge to confess to the older. jaemin didn't want to ruin the mood but he also didn't want to keep it all to himself. after all, aside from him getting hurt, nothing will change between them.

they'd still be friends, just as what they should be.

❝wait, are you okay going home alone jaemin?❞ renjun rubbed his nape. ❝because i planned on going to jeno's apartment and—❞

jaemin nodded his head with a chuckle. ❝just go.❞

throwing himself at the younger, jaemin widened his teary eyes when he felt renjun's embrace on him. he promised to himself that he won't go emotional. renjun buried his head on the younger's neck with a smile, rubbing circles behind the younger who's holding back his sobs.

❝you're the best.❞ the chinese complimented, ❝anyone would be so lucky to have you.❞

but he isn't so lucky himself. ❝alright, enough of this!❞ he pulled away from the hug and showed him the widest smile he could pull off despite of what he felt during that moment. ❝you should really go.❞

the short male nodded his head as he started to walk away, giving jaemin one last glance. the younger sat there as he watched him, feeling like it shouldn't end that way. standing up, jaemin shouted that even got the bystanders' attention, and also renjun's.

❝huang renjun!❞

he had planned to say it,

❝i'm happy for you!❞

but the words won't come out from his mouth.

renjun had a bright smile as he waved a hand at jaemin, also shouting back. ❝i wish you nothing but happiness, na jaemin!❞

and that's the last he had said to him before running off to a specific someone. jaemin watched his figure disappear from the dark before sitting back on the bench that still had the burger and can of soda that renjun bought for him.

sighing, he drank the soda with the tears he had held back falling down.

❝i really am happy for him.❞

⚊ t b c ⚊