❝he's my friend!❞ renjun said, slamming his head down on the table.

the loud thud was loud enough to be heard by the librarian. her eyes went to renjun's table and the chinese's company did nothing but mouth an apology. lucky for them, the librarian wasn't that strict and let them off this time.

❝it's weird because we grew up together.❞ renjun spoke once again after his short breakdown. he raised his head up and looked at his company with those helpless eyes of his. ❝jaemin, i see him like a brother.❞

jaemin nodded his head, patting renjun's head in thought of comforting him. ❝well, you two aren't blood related so—❞

but renjun didn't let him finish. ❝actually, no. i don't see him as a brother.❞ the chinese whined. he couldn't believe that he's letting his feelings out on someone whom he had just starting to get close with about a week ago. ❝with that look of his? there's no way i have not tried fantasizing about him. and don't get fooled by his flirtatious and outgoing personality. he goes out in clubs and bars but he does well in class which doesn't give his parents any reason to be strict enough because he is that responsible with his grades. and oh, i know him very well and he has a very ideal personality.❞

jaemin nodded slowly with his brows furrowed, he didn't expect for renjun to confess all of these to him. they barely know each other, how can renjun trust him? any minute from now, jeno is going to come and pick renjun up and jaemin just can expose him on the spot.

but no. we all know jaemin can't do that.

❝so basically you are saying—❞

again, renjun didn't let jaemin continue his sentence. ❝i secretly liked him, okay?❞ he groaned and once again slammed his head down the table which jaemin was fast to react and placed a thick science book under renjun's head to avoid making a loud noise. ❝i started catching feelings for him after i rejected him that one time he was drunk and confessed to me.❞

❝oh,❞ jaemin's not going to lie, renjun's story is quite interesting. ❝when did that happen?❞

❝two years ago.❞ renjun answered with a loud whine.

jaemin eyed the librarian and gave her a sweet smile. the librarian gave him a warning look before entertaining the students who wanted to borrow books with her permission.

going back to renjun, jaemin hummed. ❝that long, huh?❞

the chinese nodded his head and looked to the side, staring at the big doors of the library they are inside. ❝i tried to talk to him about it but he said it was totally fine because he didn't mean that confession. the alcohol made him do it.❞

jaemin snorted at the stupid reason jeno used. ❝have you ever been drunk?❞

there was nothing to be ashamed of it. ❝no.❞ renjun answered with pure honesty.

❝that's why.❞ jaemin nodded his head, as if agreeing with the theory inside his head. ❝then why don't you confess to him now?❞

❝i can't do that.❞

❝why not?❞

❝jaemin,❞ renjun sat up and gave the male sitting in from of him a look. ❝i would only be making a fool out of myself if i do that.❞

❝why?❞ jaemin was holding back the urge to just smash the two of them together. they were obviously, if not yet love, like each other. the one just suck at showing his feelings and the other is stuck thinking that there is no meaning in everything they are doing.

❝okay first, he said that he didn't mean his confession so that means he clearly has no interest in me in that way.❞ renjun then pointed out his index finger and middle finger. ❝second, he's an f boy.❞

okay, jaemin was quite slow in understanding the chinese's term. ❝what's an f boy?❞

renjun groaned, probably for the nth time already for the day. ❝a fuck boy.❞

the male then let out a sound of realization. ❝he is?❞

❝you did not know? is it not obvious?❞

❝i just thought that he's somekind of a playboy.❞ jaemin then scrunched his face, ❝not actually the type who sleeps with them.❞

❝well, don't hate him for that. it's not completely his fault why he's like that.❞ renjun explained, trying not to make jeno be a threat to people. ❝he has his reasons and even if it's not valid, we still can't judge him for that. we all suffer in different ways so how would we know it's not that problematic in jeno's perspective?❞

after renjun finished saying his side, although he had so much more to say but didn't want to sound like a lawyer, he went to look at jaemin and wondered why he had a sweet smile on his face. not like jaemin doesn't have a smile on always, he just expected for jaemin to have a different reaction.

❝what?❞

the male shook his head. ❝it's just sweet how you defended him.❞

with his cheeks heating up, renjun looked away. ❝shut up.❞

❝if you know all of this then what's stopping you from confessing to him?❞

hearing that made renjun go silent for a few seconds before looking down and played with his fingers. ❝i just don't want to be played on.❞

❝hm?❞

❝even if i know jeno isn't all like that, there is still a small part of me thinking that i'm not that important enough to be someone different from the others in his eyes.❞ the chinese said.

jaemin saw the frown on renjun's face and he could tell how it'll hurt if he would actually get his heart broken.

staring at his fingers, he managed to put a small smile on. ❝i don't want to be one with the others.❞ then raised his head to look at jaemin. ❝i just want to be the one, for him.❞

so basically, this is how hard jaemin's job is. all he did was get his things from his locker and renjun just magically appeared and dragged him to the library only to have this talk. a talk where jaemin isn't even majoring at. heck, he hasn't even tried falling in love so he wouldn't how everything of this would feel. he just want to thank the books he had read for giving him enough knowledge just to converse with renjun and comfort him.

just as jaemin had finally came up a wonderful quote to say to renjun, a familiar figure from the door suddenly appeared that made jaemim shut his mouth up as he watched the figure get closer and closer to them.

seeing jaemin's face look like that made renjun already guess what, or who, made him shut his mouth.

❝he's there, isn't he?❞

jaemin nodded and gave renjun a look with those panicked eyes of his.

the chinese heaved out a sigh and turned his head around just to see the person they have been talking about, standing there having his arms crossed and giving the two of them a glare. not bothered by how mad he looked, renjun waved a hand at him and even managed to give him a smile.

❝hey there jeno.❞

❝don't "hey there" me.❞ jeno grabbed hold of renjun's wrist and forced him to stand up.

he gave jaemin, who's sinking down on his seat at how angry jeno looked, a killer glare before dragging renjun out of the library. he didn't listen to the shorter's complains and continued dragging him outside until they had finally met a hallway were there's not a single student walking around.

jeno stopped his tracks and pulled renjun in front of him. he got guilty seeing that he had held the chinese's wrist too tight after seeing the red minor bruise on his wrist.

❝what is wrong with you?❞ renjun had a pained look on as he rubbed his wrist that sting.

❝i was looking everywhere for you. i didn't know you were dismissed early in your last class.❞ jeno said, his tone indicating that he was upset.

❝i didn't find the need to tell you.❞ renjun told him, feeling small as jeno towered over him.

the younger took a step closer, ❝and why is that so?❞

❝because i thought you'd go home straight away and invite girls over to—❞

renjun flinched when jeno suddenly swung his arm to the side and just punched the wall. silence took over the air for a few seconds before jeno shouted. ❝i have stopped doing that days ago already! you should know that after being with you for almost every single minute.❞

he was scared, there's no doubt about it. jeno looked like he could knock him down with just a punch but that didn't stop renjun from talking back to him.

❝why are you so mad with all of this?❞

jeno's eyes softened after hearing renjun's sweet voice echoing the hallways. he brought his fists down, probably having bruises from punching a goddamn wall, and took a step away after seeing him looking so frightened. he didn't want to show this side of him to renjun but he just can't help it.

❝because i'm jealous, okay?❞

⚊ t b c ⚊