I blink open my eyes, still frowning.

I didn't dream of Haku and Zabuza.

I was hoping to talk to Haku about all this crap, but maybe he couldn't reach me. He made it sound like he's only able to talk to me sometimes.

I sit up slowly, still feeling miserable from last night. My chest aches with a fierceness I wasn't expecting. I feel hollow and depressed. My "family" lied to me, then I find out I'm from a Clan that's practically wiped out, then I realize the only other member of that Clan I've ever heard about is dead.

Haku... why couldn't we have met in life? Why did you have to die before I found you?

I drop my head into my hands, feeling tears prick the back of my eyes again. I've had enough of crying, but I can't help it. My body needs to vent out some of these crushing emotions, and crying is the best way to do it.

After a while, when my eyes are finally dry, I swing my legs to the ground, my feet dropping onto the cold floor. I rub my eyes as I stand. Then I look around.

Wait. Where the hell am I?

...................................................................................

Oh. That's right. Temari and Kankuro found me last night while I was crying, and then I fell asleep here.

Crap!!

I rush over to the open window, blinking the dark spots from my eyes as peer into the sunlight. I look up, searching for the sun. It's fairly high in the sky, but not quite noon yet. I sigh, shaking my head. I slept for too long. I should get going. Maybe Shino needs help with his training...

"Hey, you."

I flinch, recognizing the cold voice from above me. I look up again, but all I see is sand, slowly disappearing from the rooftop. Am I hearing things?

I turn around... and fall out the window in shock.

Yes, I actually fall out the window, landing on my back in the dirt, my legs sticking up vertically, one foot caught on the edge of the window.

Well this is great. If he didn't already think I was a weak coward, this would've sealed the deal.

"Well hello there, Gaara of the Desert," I say, hiding my fear with obnoxious sarcasm. "Fancy meeting you here. Good-looking morning, isn't it?"

All he does is stare at me, his black-rimmed eyes narrowed.

"You must be really fun on dates," I mutter, scrambling to my feet.

 I dust myself off, wincing when I brush a small gash on my leg. I must have cut it on a rock or something when I fell last night. Can't hurt any more than the pain in my chest, though, so it's not big deal.

"Are you going to say something or are you going to stare at me all day?" I demand, glaring at Gaara, but not meeting his eyes. I'm afraid I'll freeze in terror if I try to.

Without answering, Gaara disappears in a cloud of sand, leaving me glaring at an empty window.

"And what makes this so much worse is that he's the one who called out to me," I mutter, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly. Who am I defying? I have no idea.

"Hey, Akari!"

Temari enters the room I just fell out of, looking around for me. She frowns, until she spots me leaning my arms on the windowsill. "What are you doing out there?" she asks.

"Nothing," I say casually, shrugging like I'm not just standing outside the window of her hotel. She blinks. I sigh and climb back inside, walking over to her.

"Thanks for letting me stay here last night," I tell her, slightly embarrassed that I basically passed out in her hotel after sleeping for an entire week. "It wasn't a problem," she says. She smiles at me, then blanches when her eyes drift to a pile of sand on the floor. "I saw Gaara," I sigh, seeing her unasked question.

"D-Did he say anything to you?"

"Not really. He was on the roof, called out to me, used his sand to come inside, scared me out of my mind and caused me to fall out the window, then basically left."

"....You fell out the window?"

"He came out of nowhere!" I say indignantly, and she smirks.

Then she becomes serious. "Akari, about last night," she says slowly, and I internally cringe. "I understand why you don't want to see your... family, but where are you going to go?" I shake my head, pushing my hair out of my eyes. "Like I said last night, I think I'm going to ask Shikamaru. He's like, my best friend, and I can't ask Hinata because her dad hates me. And asking Kiba or Shino... too creepy."

"It's not creepy to ask Shikamaru even though he's a guy?"

"Not really. Shikamaru's different than the others. And I've been friends with him for years."

"Well, now that that's settled, what about the final round of the Chunin Exam? What are you going to do for training?"

"Oh, that. Yeah, before all this crap happened, I was thinking about asking Shino to train with me, since he's the only other person on my team who made it."

"I could help you, you know."

"...With what, exactly?"

"Your Wind Style Jutsu."

"I don't--"

"Baki told me that Ice Style combines Water and Wind Style to work, so technically you can use Wind-based jutsu."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Yeah, of course I would. We're friends aren't we?"

The grin that lights up my face right now is one of the biggest smiles I've ever given anyone, and much bigger than what I would've thought possibly given the circumstances. I resist my urge to hug Temari, knowing it freaks her out, and instead say, "You're a great friend Temari."

She smiles also, but softer, more fragile. "That's good to hear, Akari."

***

I left Temari and Kankuro a few hours ago. They said it would be for the best if I didn't stay at their hotel anymore, and I very much agree with them. When they told me I stayed in Gaara's room last night... Well, it made me want to run around in circles screaming.

I didn't, of course, but I really wanted to.

For the past few hours, I've just been walking around the Village. I talked to Shino earlier, and he said he'd train with me whenever I asked, and that Kiba would too. Hinata still isn't well-enough to fight, even in a mock-battle, so she'll only be offering moral support. But I'm alright with that; she risked enough fighting Neji, she doesn't need to give anymore right now.

At the moment, I'm by the Village gates. I'm not sure how I got here; I've been too preoccupied with thoughts of the Chunin Exams to really notice where I've been going. I'm deliberately focusing on my upcoming match with Dosu over less... pleasant matters.

Man, you know I've sunk really low when the idea of fighting someone from the Sound Village is more appealing than dealing with my personal life.

I've heard how awful the Sound Ninja were during the second Exam and the preliminaries. Dosu, Kin and Zaku. They attacked Sakura, an unconscious Sasuke and Naruto, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, and Lee in the Forest of Death, and defeated Lee easily with their damn sound-based attacks. Zaku and Dosu were even willing to kill their own teammate when Ino had taken over Kin's body. I know Dosu will be merciless during our fight, and I'm worried that I won't have the spirit to beat him.

My thoughts still clouding my focus, I bump into someone and fall to the ground for the second time today. "Dammit!" I mutter, looking up.

Izumo's smiling face greets me.

"Izumo!" I cry, leaping up. He chuckles, ruffling the hair on my head. "Good to see you too, Akari," he says. "And congrats on making it into the final round."

"Thanks! Hey, where's Kotetsu?"

Izumo sighs, waving his clipboard dramatically. "I don't know. He's trying to weasel out of some work by hiding somewhere. I've been trying to find him for the last twenty minutes."

"Want some help?" I offer. He shakes his head. "Nah, I've got it. You should be focusing on your training."

He pauses, then snaps his fingers and grins at me. "That reminds me, you use Water Style when you fight, right?"

"Yeah," I say, after a moment of hesitation. He must not know about my Ice Style. "Usually."

"Then do want someone to help you train with your jutsu?"

My eyes widen. "You use Water Style too, Izumo?" He nods, giving me a closed-eye smile. "I normally work with Kotesu, using combo attacks, but I'm sure I could give you some pointers. So, what do you say?"

"I say that'd be perfect."

"Then I'll help you out over the next few weeks, ok? Now I'll see you later." He turns away and starts striding down the street, gripping his clipboard tightly and clenching his other hand into a fist. "You won't get out of this that easily, Kotetsu!" he exclaims to no one in particular.

I smile after him, deciding that I should visit Shikamaru now.

***

"Sorry for being such a burden," I murmur to Shikamaru, my eyes on the floor. He puts a hand on my shoulder. "It's not a problem, Akari," he says, his eyes sympathetic. "And my parents are fine with it since we have an extra room."

Shikamaru and his family have agreed to let me stay with them for as long as I need to. His mom wasn't really happy when I asked, since she's all old-fashioned and thinks it's improper for a girl to stay at a boy's house, but Shikaku was all for it. I think he still believes Shikamaru has a crush on me and thinks this is a great opportunity for his son to get a girlfriend.

I love Shikaku, he's great.

I told Shikaku and Shikamaru about my past, and my family. I think it's a big part of the reason why they let me stay without much fuss. They feel sorry for me. Normally, I'd hate that, but honestly I feel sorry for myself.

Well, anyway, now that I've got my living arrangements out of the way, I can start to focus on my training. Temari, Izumo, Shino and KIba are all going to be my training partners. This should be fun.

(Three Weeks Later)

"I heard Naruto's back," Shikamaru comments, leaning against the door to my room, their guest room really.

I blink in surprise. Naruto had been gone for a while, apparently training with some "old Pervy Sage". I don't know anything about the guy he went to train with, but I don't think I'd like him.

"He's in the hospital," Shikamaru adds, rolling his eyes. "Wanna go see him with me? I've got to visit Choji anyway."

I pull on my other sandal and stand up. "Sure, I'll go. I've been wondering how Naruto's been doing, how he's been training, considering he's fighting the 'genius' Neji Hyuga."

He sighs. "You still hate the guy?" he asks. I give him a "what do you think?" look and he just walks out the door. I follow him and we head to the hospital, Shikamaru carrying a fruit basket for Choji.

When we get there, Shikamaru learns that Choji can't eat anything because he'd already eaten too much and damaged his stomach. I accidentally laugh when I hear that, and Shikamaru shrugs indifferently. He asks where Naruto is instead, and the nurse points us to a room down the hall.

"He's still out of it," Shikamaru says, amazed. I nod my agreement as we take seats in front of Naruto's bed. "Three days, huh?" I comment. Then grin slyly. "Not even close to my week in the hospital, though." Shikamaru doesn't say anything, just sighs and drops his head.

We sit in a comfortable silence for a while, with Shikamaru reading and me staring out the window, watching the birds flying outside.

Then Naruto wakes up.

He glances around wildly, muttering something about a giant toad and a pervert, until I smack him in the back of the head. He sits back after that, shooting daggers at me, then frowns at Shikamaru.

"Where am I?"

"The hospital. They said you've been asleep for three days."

"THREE DAYS!"

"He's just like you," Shikamaru mutters to me, making me giggle in amusement. "What a drag..."

"When are the final rounds?!" Naruto asks urgently, grabbing onto Shikamaru's jacket and pulling him forward.

"Tomorrow," Shikamaru replies, sweat-dropping as Naruto shakes him for information.

"Gah! Tomorrow! Where's Pervy Sage?! He supposed to help me train!"

"Look, I don't know where your 'Pervy Sage' is," I say, "but you wouldn't have much time to train anyway. We've got to be at the arena pretty early tomorrow."

Naruto looks at me, scratching the back of his head. "Ah, you're right."

"Anyway," Shikamaru says, grabbing onto the fruit basket at his side. "I came to visit Choji, but I heard you were here and--"

"Is Choji hurt that badly after his fight?"

Shikamaru laughs. "No, he just ate too much after the match, and now he's got stomach issues. And I went to the trouble of getting him this," he says, pulling the basket onto Naruto's bed. "But the nurse says he can't eat anything, so I was thinking we could share."

Naruto beams, before his whole face contorts in a painful-looking way and he gasps.

"What is it?" Shikamaru asks, sounding panicked. Naruto holds a hand in front of his mouth, giggling like a school girl. "I just got an idea," he says, giggling even more. Shikamaru sweat drops. "Don't scare me like that, moron."

"Well anyway, since Choji can't eat, wouldn't it be better to take this fruit into his room and eat it in front of him?"

Shikamaru and I both raise an eyebrow. "That's pretty evil," he says slowly. Then he grins evilly. "I like it."

 I wave my hand at them. "Go ahead, torture your teammate," I say. "I'm going to visit Lee."

"Bushy Brows?" Naruto says, leaning towards me. "Is he any better?"

I sigh. I've been here a lot in the last month and, well, I get more and more depressed every time I come to see him. He can walk now, with a crutch, but the way he acts, trying to be so happy and brave, when I know he's dying on the inside... it tears at my heart in a way most people can't. Lee is such a great guy, and from what I've heard he was an amazing Ninja. And all because of that damn Gaara, his dreams are crushed and he's stuck in the hospital for who knows how long.

I look at Naruto sadly, shaking my head. "The Medical Ninja haven't been able to do anything for him. He still can barely use his arm and leg. They say..." I swallow back the lump in my throat. "They say there's no possible way for him to be a Ninja again."

Naruto sits back, anguish and anger on his childish face. He balls his hands into fists, catching onto his blanket, a scowl twisting his mouth. "Dammit Gaara," he says softly.

Feeling a rush of emotion for the spazzy blonde, I reach over and put my hand on his knee. "It's great that you care so much, Naruto," I say sincerely. "But if you see him, don't pity him. He doesn't want it, and he doesn't need it."

He nods as though he's only half heard me. I exchange a look with Shikamaru, in which we both say the same thing: Naruto is a better guy than I thought.

I stand and say my goodbyes to the boys and head down the hall towards Lee's room. I know Guy Sensei will probably be here later, if he isn't on a mission. He visits Lee more than I do, and I feel almost as bad for him as I do for Lee. I know he blames himself for what happened to Lee. He thinks he pushed the boy too far, taught him things he wasn't ready to handle. And maybe he's right. But he only did what he did out of love and respect for Lee. There is no one in this world that will fault him for that.

I pass Sakura in the hall and give her a smile. "Visiting Lee?" we ask at the same time. She nods and smiles while I rub the back of my head in embarrassment. "Yeah," she says. "I've just finished seeing him. He's sleeping at the moment. Now I'm off to see Naruto."

"Oh," I say. "You might not find him in his room. He's going with Shikamaru to punish Choji for eating too much."

She blinks. "Umm, ok...?"

I roll my eyes. "It's just as stupid as it sounds."

I leave Sakura to her kind-deeds-of-the-day and enter Lee's room. He looks so peaceful when he's asleep. There isn't any hurt and bitterness threatening to overtake his kind face. I don't think he'll admit to how much this whole situation kills him; it isn't the type of man he is.

"Hi Lee," I say softly, sitting on the edge of his bed. I smooth out his cover, watching his even breathing. It looks like Sakura replaced the flower by the window. That's good; the last one was looking a little wilted.

God, what am I doing? Sitting here admiring the flora in Lee's room? I want to help him so much; he's become a great friend to me over the last few weeks. And I don't want to help him because I feel sorry for him, I want to help him because I know exactly how he feels. He's told me that when he was in the Academy, he couldn't use Ninjutsu, Genjutsu, or Taijutsu, and he was made fun of by everyone. But he tried so hard, and eventually he graduated and was placed on Team Guy alongside Tenten and Neji. And Guy realized how awful Lee was as Ninjutsu and Genjutsu, so he only focused on Taijutsu with Lee. And after years of rigorous, back-breaking training, Lee became a master at Taijutsu, rivaling even the... the Kita Clan, if what Guy Sensei has told me is true.

He wanted to overcome his weaknesses, to prove he could be a Splendid Ninja despite not being able to use Genjutsu or Ninjutsu.

I wanted to be a great Ninja even though I lacked "my" Clan's skills with Taijutsu. I was the outcast among my people, and so was he.

But I can't do anything for him, but talk with him and visit. He says that's enough, that I'm as kind as Sakura, who I've guessed he has a major crush on. It doesn't ease the guilt in my heart, though. It actually makes it worse. He's too nice for his own good sometimes.

I hear the door slide open but I don't turn around. "Hey, Sakura," I say, wiping the unnoticed tears from my eyes. "You forget something?"

There's no answer.

"Sakura?" I turn to see the door and I freeze. My blood runs cold.

What the hell is this monster doing here?

"Gaara," I growl, swiping the last of the tears from my cheeks. He looks almost surprised to see me here, but I don't give a crap about how he's feeling. I'm burning up with rage. "What god awful reason do you have for being here?"

"I'm here to finish what I started."

My eyes shoot to Lee's sleeping form, and a knot of anger forms in my stomach. How dare this guy come to hurt Lee! I stand slowly, my movements deliberate and furious. Gaara watches me with cold, dark eyes. He's like a human shell, with a demon taking refuge within him. I wish he didn't look quite so human. It makes what he does all the worse.

"You're not touching him," I growl. He steps into the room, his sand already swirling in the air around him, staring murderously at Lee, as though he hasn't heard me. "Gaara!" I shout. His head snaps around to look at me. "Stay away from this Shinobi! You've done more than enough to him!"

I'm crying again, and I hate it. But there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Gaara's eyes slightly widen when he sees my tears. Then he clutches his head frantcially, like he's in immense pain. He growls, "Why? Why do you protect him? Why are you like that man?"

He's talking about Guy Sensei.

Shikamaru told me Guy countered Gaara's last attempt to end Lee's life, when he'd already passed out during their fight. Why is asking this?

"Lee is my friend," I say, still red-hot from anger. "And I've been taught to protect those I love, to give my life for them if necessary."

Still clutching his head, Gaara asks in a hoarse whisper, "Love?"

"Yes, love. Is it that much of a foreign concept for you, Gaara of the Desert?"

"It... wasn't."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"When I was six years old," Gaara says, recovering and standing a little straighter. "I thought I understood love. I thought I could accept it. But then, the only person I thought cared for me, tried to kill me."

My gasp is loud and sharp in the sudden quiet of Lee's hospital room. Gaara's impassive face doesn't change at my reaction.

"Wh-why would someone who loved you try to kill you?" I ask, not able to understand this. No one who truly loved you would attempt such an outrageous thing.

"He was sent by my father, on a mission from the Kazekage."

Oh this keep getting better and better.

"Your father?"

"Yes, my father. He thought I had become a danger to the Village, and ordered my assassination."

"Why would he think you were a danger to Suna?" I mean, I can guess he'd think that now. But when Gaara was just a little kid... Was he always like this?

"Because of the demon he had sealed inside me."

Holy crap, I didn't think... I didn't know it was true. That he... that he's like Naruto. He's got a demon sealed within him, and it was done by his father. His goddamn father, the fracking Kazekage, sealed a demon into his son. What kind of messed up family is this?

"After he tried to have me killed, I lived in fear of being murdered by my fellow villagers. Until I realized something. I asked myself, what purpose did I have in life? Everyone has a purpose, or they're no better than the dead. So what was mine? After killing my would-be assassin, and the many others that came after him, it came to me. I was meant to kill people other than myself. I am meant to fight only for myself, to love only myself. And as long as there are people in this world world for me to kill, and continue to feel that joy of living, my existence will not vanish."

"How could you think this a reason for living?" I whisper, too horrified to speak properly. "How could you think this is right?"

"The concept of right and wrong is a very subjective thing."

"Murder is never right!"

"You're a Ninja, aren't you? Murder is very much a part of your life."

"But you do it... for pleasure, to feed your own selfish desires. You kill for some sick, demented fantasy of yours that only you deem to be justifiable."

I pause, my hands fisted at my sides. I believe everything I've said, but there's something I can't deny. "You're father was wrong, though," I say quietly, not looking at him. "It doesn't matter what reasons he might have had for sealing that demon inside you, it wasn't something a father should've have done, not if he was going to treat you as some failed experiment. Not if he was going to deny you everything a child needs to grow into a decent human being."

I watch as Gaara's sand slowly moves towards Lee. I'll protect him with my life if I have to, but maybe I can stop this before it starts. "You know Naruto don't you?" I ask, my eyes continuing to study the creases in Lee's blanket. "You know about him, about his demon? Do you know he was just like you were, scared and alone, hated by everyone?"

Gaara doesn't say anything, but the sand pauses in the air.

"But he isn't like you now," I say. "He's changed in the last few months, into a boy you wouldn't recognize if you only knew him from before. He isn't in pain anymore, he isn't lost and alone. He's happy. Don't you... don't you think, if he could change, you could too?"

I don't know if I believe what I'm saying to Gaara right now. Maybe I do. Naruto is truly a different person from only a few months ago. And I think it's because he's now surrounded by people he cares about, and people who care about him. That's something Gaara's lacked all these years. Maybe if he found someone who--

"No."

His reply is blunt and sharp, stabbing into my growing sense of hope like a kunai, killing it instantly. Gaara isn't Naruto. He's become too much like the demon inside him to come back to the world of mortals.

He is his demon.

Gaara's sand suddenly shoots at Lee, and my body moves on its own, jumping in front of the attack. I would have done it anyway.

I stand, panting and battered, with my arms crossed in an X in front of my face, when the sand backs off and returns to hovering behind and above Gaara.

"You want to die," Gaara comments, not asking a question. "I told you," I pant, not lowering my arms an inch. "I'll gladly give my life to save Lee's. He doesn't deserve to die like this, because of you. You've already killed him on the inside, don't you get that?! You've destroyed him! You've taken away Lee's reason for living."

"Then let me kill him and end his misery."

"Don't act like you're some damn angel, meant to end his suffering," I growl. "Nothing you do is for anyone besides yourself, as you've already pointed out. Just get out, and leave Lee alone!"

Too fast for me to dodge, Gaara's sand wraps around me, tightening until I can't breathe.

"I'll kill you first," he says coolly. "Then I'll kill the strange one."

He raises his hand in the same gesture I saw him use back in the Forest of Death. The one he used to crush the three Rain Village Ninja who dared oppose him. So I really am going to die. Strangely, it doesn scare me as much as it did when I faced the enemy intruders so long ago. If I die protecting a friend, it gives my death meaning. Even if the one killing me is Gaara.

A few moments pass, and nothing happens.

Gaara's hands fly to his skull again, pressing against his head like he's got one massive headache. His eyes are forced shut, and he's gritting his teeth. How much pain is he in right now?

The sand releases me and I drop to the ground, crashing onto my side while inhaling deep, shaking breaths. He let me go...

"What are you saying?" he hisses, his voice harsh and ragged. "What do you mean, you like her?" I push myself up with my hands against the floor, still taking deep breaths to compensate for my nearly two minute-long experience of being deprived of oxygen. When I think I'm recovered enough, I look over at Gaara, who's now on his knees, his head almost on the floor.

Who is he talking to? Who likes me?

"LEE! AKARI!"

Standing in the doorway is Guy Sensei. Hearing his voice, Gaara manages to get to his feet. Without looking at either me or Lee, he trudges out the door, looking exhausted and broken.

When he's gone, I drop my head onto Lee's bed, beside his limp hand. I smile over at him, glad he wasn't woken by my confrontation with the Sand Genin. "I promise, Lee," I say, so softly Guy Sensei won't hear me. "I won't let Gaara hurt you."