SEVEN | THE FEARSOME COMMANDER ZHAO.
( the southern air temple, part one )

❝ and every demon wants his pound of flesh,
but i like to keep some things to myself. ❞

BEING THE STEP-DAUGHTER of the ruthless Commander Zhao, Pearl's thought her dreams should be filled with fire and blood and steel. With furious armoured boys baring red-hilted swords, and arrows tipped with fire.

The boys in Pearl's dreams were very different.

For one, there was no fire. Her dreams were wistful and warm, adorned in acrylic strokes of pink and gold. There were usually clouds so fluffy she could fall asleep on them, or a sun so real it would kiss her pale skin, or a pink castle with spires so high that Pearl could see her entire, pastel-painted world from the window. Everything was soft and hazy. Like an oil painting. The lines weren't sharp, the colours bled into each other, and each expanse of land her mind created swaddled her tight. It was the only place Pearl felt safe. Or, at least had the potential to.

She played the damsel in distress often in her dreams. It was preferred that way. It was exhausting having to find new ways to save herself in the real world, so it was fun to relax in a tower and have the rescuing come to her. She could probably get out of all her magenta-bricked towers if she wanted to—sure, she was a wimp, but she wasn't stupid, right?

But the thing her step-father would probably hate the most about her dreams were the rescuers themselves.

Pearl didn't think too much about it at first—when she was young and she learned to feel what the world told her to feel. People would climb into the tower decked with metal chest-plates and a sword in its sheath. They always looked Fire Nation—pale, with wayward dark hair and arms peeking with muscle. Pearl knew that was what girls her age were supposed to like. When she was part of conversations in her pre-teens, girls would talk about boys like Prince Zuko (whom Pearl just found lonely instead of attractive) who roughed in the schoolyard, could firebend at a moment's notice, and only gave you the slightest bit of attention (Zuko never gave any girls attention except for Kasumi, but that was only because they got on each other's nerves). It was obvious that those boys were the normal and normal was considered dreamy, so Pearl set those imaginary boys up as her heroes so she could have the slightest thread of connection with those other girls.

As she got older, she realized how loose that thread was.

The boys' faces changed as she grew. Their faces got longer, their jawlines softer, their chests slimmer. Lashes were long and lips painted red. They were still boys, Pearl thought whenever another one with slender legs and small shoulders climbed into her tower. These are boys.

At around twelve, when Pearl's dreams started feeling like this, she also noticed how boys looked at her. And how girls her age would blush and grin when a boy ogled her, or gave her a smile, or stared plain and simple.

Pearl waited for it to happen. She waited for a boy to stare at her like they often did and feel a sprout in her heart, a bloom in her ribs, a buzz in her throat. She longed to feel the brush of delicate wings in her stomach.

But still, her body was vacant. Butterflies were nowhere in sight.

Pearl concluded that there was something wrong with her insides. She was already ostracized from the other kids, and nobody cares much about an inside that's practically rotten. Boys just knew she was bent. She wasn't worthy of butterflies and blushes. She'd have to fit in first.

But then one day something rather strange happened. It was recreational time at the Fire Academy for Girls—Pearl wasn't a firebender herself, but it was the greatest school in the Fire Nation so of course Commander Zhao forced her into it—and she was perched in the grass, leaning against a tree.

Something strange swept over her. She tore her gaze away from her hands, a beetlesnail cupped in her tiny palms, and raised her head. Her curious grey eyes were lost in a sea of amber.

Those eyes, with a crafty mind of their own, landed on a girl on the other side of the courtyard.

Princess Azula.

And Princess Azula was staring at her.

Pearl's brows furrowed, wondering why the most fearsome girl in school was staring at the most outcast one. But then, something in Pearl's stomach shifted, and she got scared.

For a hint of a second, for a sliver, butterflies.

Azula kept staring. Pearl wondered if it was really her Azula was looking at. And she wondered if something horrible had just happened.

Because then Ty Lee crept up behind Pearl and plopped another bug in her hands, and she got very confused.

The Princess had looked away by then.

And yet, still Pearl thought these are boys when her heroes came—even when their hair grew long, their clothes got loose, the swords had shifted to flowers, the armour to lace, but these are boys these are boys these are BOYS.

At fifteen, sitting at her bed tucked in one of her father's Fire Navy tents, a part of Pearl's heart remained uneasy. Because Father needed his daughter to be strong and silver and sly. Not drenched in sweat, tossing as the sun came up.

Pearl was not fit to be a daughter of the great Commander Zhao. Father was chalk-full of pride and power, cheering on this war and his endless lust for victory. He was stern and relentless and fearsome and still he was her Father. But that mattered little, especially when your daughter was far too pathetic to fight for herself and painted ugly little sunsets as her bones whittled to dust.

And Pearl feared he hated her with everything he had inside him. Because Pearl's heart didn't align with those of the boys fighting for her Nation like his did.

Pearl wasn't sure her heart aligned with boys at all.

So as she woke that morning, throwing her river of hair into the braid her father hated, she felt shame every second. She felt shame when she slipped into her dress, felt shame when she tied a shimmering ribbon around her neck, felt shame when she looked like a girl, but not the girl she should be.

And she felt Princess Azula's eyes on hers, and she felt the butterflies.

—☯︎︎—

PEARL WAS IN the middle of writing a letter back to Kasumi when she saw Kasumi. She was sitting outside, quill to paper, as Father chatted with his men.

Whenever he looked at her, Pearl put the pen down just in time for her to seem like she was listening to him. His face deepened to a scowl every time like the mere sight of her was repulsing.

She'd trained herself not to cry by now.

Her eyes lulled off to the docks. Dreary metal ships were lined side by side in Commander Zhao's harbour. Now that he was in charge of a Fire Navy fleet, Father spent his moments with Pearl quickly and concisely. He opted for looks of disapproval and tsks instead of his daily nagging sessions. It was less noticeable, but hurt just as much.

A new ship pulled into the harbour. Pearl frowned. It looked ridiculously beat up, with a monstrous dent in its hull. It also didn't seem to be one of Father's ships, either, because his brows furrowed when he saw it. "Excuse me a moment," He said to his men. Grabbing Pearl's wrist, he jostled her up. "We'll be right back."

Pearl was distracted from Father's squelching grip on her arm when the ship's ramp lowered and three familiar faces descended. One, a plump, gray-haired man, the other, a boy with a scar over his eye, and the third, a pretty raven-haired girl Pearl thought she wouldn't see for a while.

Oh, this was great! "Kasumi!" She beamed without thinking. Father yanked her arm to tell her to be quiet.

Pearl knew Kasumi probably didn't like her much. They never hung out when they were kids. But at least she didn't seem passive-aggressive in her letters. Pearl hadn't had a friend with her in a long, long time, ever since Ty Lee left her to join the circus. And although she and Kasumi had virtually nothing in common, those letters were the only things that gave Pearl hope to fill the lonely living inside her.

Not to mention Zuko was here, and she hadn't seen him since his banishment three years ago. Boy, did he look rough. That ponytail was not doing him justice.

As she and her Father grew closer, Pearl caught the end of Zuko's sentence. "—will be out looking for him, and I don't want anyone getting in the way." His back was towards them, and he faced Kasumi, who looked bored, and presumably his uncle Iroh.

"Getting in the way of what, Prince Zuko?"

The three travellers jumped at the sound of Zhao's voice. He let go of Pearl's wrist, and she sighed to herself in relief. "Captain Zhao," Zuko growled, clearly tense. His eyes flickered to Pearl for a split second, and she couldn't help but feel he wanted to hold her gaze for longer.

"It's Commander now," Zhao corrected haughtily. "And General Iroh, great hero of our nation," He bowed to the older man, but there was a sense of mockery in his tone.

"Retired General," Iroh corrected in a much nicer way. Pearl decided she liked him.

Zhao's eyes met Kasumi's. "Ah. . . Kasumi, was it? It's nice to see you again."

Pearl studied Kasumi's face. Her jaw was wound tightly, eyes devious, and it seemed there were a dozen things on her tongue waiting to be let out. Instead, she said none of them. "Pleasure's all mine." She stared at her father the same way he was looking at her. Calculating.

So Kasumi was even more fearless and terrifying than when they were kids. Nice to know. There was a bruise brimming on her cheekbone, but Pearl thought that made her look even more beautiful—and much more intimidating.

"You all remember my daughter Pearl, yes?" Zhao asked, making a sweeping gesture. He eyed her to make sure she was standing straight.

Pearl bowed her head politely, just like Father had told her to do, hands clasped behind her. "Hello."

"Wonderful to meet you," Iroh said curtly, bowing back. Kasumi and Zuko did the same. Zuko's was rather awkward, and Kasumi's was almost coy. She met Pearl's eyes, and Pearl saw her lips brim into a smile.

Maybe she didn't hate her after all.

"The Fire Lord's brother and son are welcome guests anytime," Zhao continued. "What brings you to my harbour?"

"Our ship is being repaired," Iroh said, gesturing to the banged-up vessel behind them.

"That's quite a bit of damage," Zhao mused, eyes narrowing.

"Yes!" Zuko said unconvincingly. "You wouldn't believe what happened."

Zhao and Pearl stared expectantly. Zuko paled. "Uncle! Tell Commander Zhao what happened!"

By the baffled look on Iroh's face, Pearl could tell they were hiding something. She pursed her lips to hide a smile.

"Yes, I will do that," Iroh stammered, and she could see his brain grasping for a response. "It was incredible!" He leaned into Zuko. "What, did we crash or something?"

"Yes," Kasumi said dryly. Unlike her companions, her face was blank and uninterested. "We crashed right into an earth kingdom ship. Came out of nowhere."

The lie rolled off her tongue with ease. She crossed her arms like it was no big deal.

"Really? You must regale me with all the thrilling details." He leered close to Zuko's face, eyes darkening. "Join me for a drink?"

It sounded like a threat, and it was.

"Sorry, but we have to go," Zuko said gruffly, turning away from her father. Kasumi followed suit.

Iroh placed a hand on his nephew's shoulder, stopping him cold. "Prince Zuko, show Commander Zhao your respect," He said, oddly strict.

Pearl took a peek at Kasumi's face, and knew she was thinking, that cow doesn't deserve respect. He deserves a stinking pile of manure. Kasumi never did mesh well with adults.

"We'd be honoured to join you and your daughter," Iroh said, turning back to Zhao.

Pearl gaped. Daughter? Did Iroh just invite her?! Father usually didn't let Pearl drink tea with guests—she usually brought the tea in, said hello, and then left like a disgraced servant.

Father's face twitched at the mention of her joining them. Please don't get mad, please don't get mad, please don't get mad. . .

"Right this way," Zhao simmered, and Pearl exhaled.

Iroh and Zhao led the front. She wondered if Father wanted her to fall in step with him, but pushed the thought away as he struck up conversation. Zuko awkwardly hung behind his uncle. He stuck close to Kasumi until she backed away—and to Pearl's delight, fell in step with her.

"How do you deal with him?" Kasumi whispered, a grimace on her lips. Her eyes trailed on her father.

Pearl was so elated at the fact that someone was talking to her that she forgot about Father entirely. "I could ask you the same thing," She giggled, glancing at the Prince in front of them.

Kasumi's gaze flicked over him. "Eh, he's not so bad. Once you learn how to push his buttons, he makes for good entertainment."

Pearl studied the boy she once knew. "He looks so different," She noted. And still, the vision of his terrified, banished face was something she could see in Zuko even now.

"He looks more and more arrogant every passing day," Kasumi quipped.

Pearl smiled, cheeks flushing. She missed talking to girls. She missed talking to a friend. "Oh! I have your aloe, by the way," She chirped. "I was actually in the middle of writing you when you arrived."

Now Kasumi smiled, but it wasn't as bashful as Pearl's. Only half her mouth seemed to rise. "Oh, thank you! The, uh, itching's getting bad."

They went further into the camp. It smelled of sweat and charred plants, something almost uncomfortable to walk into. Spears were thumped on browning grass, and the jostling of soldiers filled the silence between them. It was strange to be two lovely girls journeying through a place curdled by war. It felt wrong.

Pearl looked at Kasumi. Her brows were pulled together and her nose was scrunched. She didn't seem too fond of this campground either. Before catching her tongue, she said, "Thanks for writing to me."

It pulled Kasumi out of whatever grimace she was in. She slowed down, blinking. Heat rose to Pearl's cheeks. Why did she say that? Was she really that pathetic? Oh no, oh no, oh no—

"Well, thank you for replying."

Kasumi's smile was more relaxed now. Less mysterious. Pearl waited for her face to change. Kasumi had always been unpredictable, but not like this. She was almost more intelligent. More artful. And right now, she seemed more real.

Kasumi was thinking a bit too. Zuko was right about Pearl being strange, but she wasn't sure he was right about her being crazy. Pearl was obliviously nice, and maybe that was why it was so hard for Kasumi to figure her out. She didn't really need to. Pearl was just . . . genuine.

In front of them, a part of Zuko wished he was in on their conversation, too.

They settled in one of Zhao's larger tents. A small table was set in front of the room, and a map of the world hung on the back wall. Zuko sat in one of the chairs at the table. So did Kasumi.

Pearl sat at one of the chairs to the side. Father had always taught Pearl to leave the table for the guests. Or anyone else in the room, really. It was a matter of principle.

Zhao started babbling about war and other nonsense. Iroh poured himself some tea. Pearl was too scared to get some herself. Sometimes she exchanged awkward glances with Kasumi or Zuko. It was strange; the three of them, all Fire Nation kids, but so very different. Zuko was tense like he was waiting for a trap to ensnare him. Kasumi was bored, tracing the rim of her teacup with her finger. And Pearl was trying her best to be attentive, waiting for her father's disapproving glare.

None of them were real kids anymore. Pearl felt fear creeping into her heart, because she knew the war was starting to shape the people she'd grown up with. Kasumi and Zuko had faces carved from stone. They seemed impossibly older than her.

She wished there was someone out there who still felt as little as she did.

"—and by years end, the Earth Kingdom capital will be under our rule," Zhao finished. "The Fire Lord will finally claim victory in this war."

Oh, he's talking about the Ba Sing Se thing again, Pearl griped, but externally she nodded her head like she cared about a single word that flew from Father's mouth. She should care.

"If my father thinks the rest of the world will follow him willingly, then he is a fool," Zuko said bitterly, staring down at his empty cup of tea.

Zhao sat down beside him, eyes glinting. "Two years at sea have done little to temper your tongue."

Zuko's jaw clenched, and Zhao pretended not to notice. "So, how is your search for the Avatar going?"

Iroh dropped the mound of weapons in the back room. Kasumi glared at him. Good grief, could you be more obvious? "Uh, my fault entirely," He blushed, scratching the back of his neck.

"Pearl," Zhao said sharply, but she was already up on her feet when he turned to look at her. Feather-light, she made her way to the mess of spears and shields. "Of course, Father," She said.

"No it's alright, I can clean up," Iroh assured.

"Nonsense," Zhao waved him off. "Pearl will do just fine."

Kasumi looked between Zhao and his daughter. There was something garish in his eyes that made her unnerved.

She did not like him.

"We haven't found him yet," Zuko answered Zhao's question with discontent.

"Did you really expect to? The Avatar died a hundred years ago, along with the rest of the airbenders," Zhao snarked.

The tension between Zuko and Zhao made Kasumi's blood churn. It worsened when Zhao's face grew sinister, and he cocked a malignant grin. "Unless you've found some evidence that the Avatar is alive."

Kasumi could tell Zhao was a calculating person like she was. He could find out what was making a person tick. Right now he was doing that to Zuko—studying the shift of his eyes, the flex of his shoulders, the rise of his chest—and Kasumi didn't like it.

"No," She cut in just as Zuko opened his mouth, voice laced with venom. "Nothing."

Zhao glowered at her. She felt a flicker of pride in her chest knowing he was scanning her face, trying to figure her out, but coming up dry. Take that, Commander Cow.

So he turned back to Zuko, ready to soften him up. "Prince Zuko, the Avatar is the only one who can stop the Fire Nation from winning this war." He stood up, leaning towards Zuko. "If you have an ounce of loyalty left, you'll tell me what you've found."

"I haven't found anything," Zuko said roughly.

Pearl swallowed. There was far too much friction in this room for her liking. Father was trying to dig something out of Zuko, and that didn't feel right.

"It's like you said," Kasumi sniped. "The Avatar probably died a long time ago."

The snivelling look Zhao shot her was enough to say he definitely had a bone to pick with her now. Good.

Zuko stood to leave. Kasumi had barely risen when the guards in front of the exit crossed their spears in front of them, blocking Zuko's path. Pearl's heart plummeted to her stomach.

"Commander Zhao, we interrogated the crew as you instructed," A guard said, stepping forward. "They confirmed Prince Zuko had the Avatar in custody, but let him escape."

Pearl's eyes flashed to Kasumi. She was half-out of her chair, hands gripping the armrests, nails digging at the sides. Her brows were pulled together in a wince.

"Now, remind me," Zhao drawled, walking to a tense Zuko. "how exactly was your ship damaged?"

The story was pieced together rather quickly. Zuko had the Avatar in his clutches—and the Avatar was a child, so that certainly threw her for a loop—before he escaped, riding off into the sunset with some Water Tribe kids (one of which Kasumi described as "stupid blonde bimbo" under her breath).

"So a twelve year-old boy bested you and your firebenders," Zhao jeered, pacing the floor. Zuko was back in his chair next to a seething Kasumi. "You're more pathetic than I thought."

Kasumi choked back a snort. That was brave for a guy with hideous sideburns. 

Pearl watched her father snarl at their guests from the sidelines, fearing the worst. She hated when she got mad. It made nerves burn beneath her skin and she could never quite dampen it.

"I underestimated him once, but it will not happen again," Said Zuko.

"No it will not. . . because you won't have a second chance." Zhao firmly stopped in his tracks.

Zuko and Kasumi exchanged knee-jerk looks. She shrugged at him. "Commander Zhao, I've been hunting the Avatar for two years and I—"

"And you failed!" Zhao whirled around with a whip of fire. Pearl jolted back until she hit the wall. Something in her ripped with pain, and she bit down her tongue in the hopes to quell it. The sound of dying flames and her heart leaping up to her ears drowned her.

She was lucky. Father aimed that for other people that weren't her, and spared far more mercy. She was fine.

"Capturing the Avatar is too important to leave in a teenager's hands," He continued, a wolfbat hounding its prey. "He's mine now."

Zuko lunged at him. Two guards were quick to hold him down. "You can't do that!" Kasumi fumed, almost standing up herself.

Zhao gave her a sinister grin. "Watch me."

Absolutely not. Kasumi couldn't let this happen. Not when this stupid quest was the only thing keeping her active away from her family.

"Keep them here," He said to his guards, and just as Kasumi rose to give him a piece of her mind, a guard grabbed her forearm and pulled her back down. She hissed and jerked her arm away, adjusting the sleeve on her shoulder. It stung.

She met Pearl's eyes. They were saying that Zhao was not worth all this trouble.

Zuko kicked over a table, and Iroh asked for more tea. Kasumi just sat there, blood boiling, trying to ignore the fire burning in her throat.

Zhao came back shortly thereafter, and Kasumi glared at him so intensely that he could've withered to ash. Any time away from this man was not long enough. "My search party is ready. Once I'm out to sea my guards will escort you back to your ship, and you'll be free to go," He said smugly.

"Why? Are you worried I'm going to try and stop you?" Zuko asked, almost taunting.

Zhao gave a wicked chuckle. "You? Stop me. Impossible."

Zuko sprung to his feet. "Don't underestimate me, Zhao. I will capture the Avatar before you."

Iroh tried to settle Zuko down, but it was lost to both girls. Pearl was busy trying to predict her father's every move, and Kasumi was busy trying not to strangle him.

"You can't compete with me. I have hundreds of warships under my command, and you. . ." Zhao's eyes probed Zuko, pausing on his scar. "You're just a banished prince. No home, no allies, your own father doesn't even want you."

Kasumi gritted her teeth. No allies, my ass. She could feel her frustration festering, pushing against her ribcage. Zhao could pick on her all he wanted, but using Zuko's weakness against him was a step too far. It was cruel.

"You're wrong!" Zuko snapped. "Once I deliver the Avatar to my father, he will welcome me home with honor, and restore my rightful place on the throne." She felt the inflections of doubt in his voice, and it was getting harder to control the heat brimming her body. She felt flame swell up her throat.

"If your father really wanted you home, he would have let you return by now. Avatar or no Avatar. But in his eyes you are a failure, and a disgrace to the Fire Nation," Zhao said coldly.

Next thing she knew, Kasumi was up in front of him. Before words came out of her mouth, a vicious puff of flame emerged.

And still, with acid on her tongue, she snarled, "You know nothing."

It startled her and Zhao. She only caught the tip of it in her eyesight, the last wayward lick of fire that shot just above her nose. It happened so fast that she barely recognized the hot, virulent taste in her mouth before it burst out of her like a streak of lightning. Her insides felt all smoky now.

Zhao flinched away from the spurt of fire that came from her lips. Zuko was staring at her, a mix of wonder, horror, and jealousy in his eyes. Iroh was looking at her from the side in sheer awe. It may have been whip-fast, but that fire held disturbing potential.

Zhao's deplorable eyes calmed, and now Kasumi was left to fend for herself under his stare. "And you do?" He simpered. "Because from what I've heard, you're rather careless."

Kasumi's breath hitched. He had found his opening.

"I know your father quite well. He's a forgiving fellow." Zhao took a step closer, and the room seemed to close around him. Even Zuko, whose body heat she could feel on her arm, felt far away. "I wonder what his daughter did that would make him send her away?"

"I didn't do anything," She said, keeping her voice even.

He roamed her face, her clothes, searching for something that gave her away. For a break in her fortress, like a true Commander would.

He settled on her arms, her shoulders, hidden beneath the long sleeves of her shirt and the dress she wore overtop. Kasumi froze.

"I hate to tell you this, but I don't think that's true!" He said, making it clear that he did not hate telling her this at all. "Your poor family must have some reason, yes? To send their youngest daughter away?"

"You don't know squat about my family," She spat, the lingering taste of smoke driving down into her lungs. Her breath stunted. Her stomach felt heavy and bitter. But the searing of rage helped clear her up, so she managed to continue. "Or Zuko's. You don't know either of us."

He looked between them. "You have the scars to prove it."

Something shuttered through her spine. It was so quick that it left her dizzy. Zuko shoved her aside, and for the first time in a very long time, Kasumi felt that someone had broken through her gates.

Leave it to a Commander to find his mark.

"Maybe you'd like one to match!" Zuko roared. He was angry, maybe angrier than her, and his hand was gripping her forearm like he could hurl her across the room. Instead, he anchored her away from the breach in her system and back to the hatred that united them both.

By the time her blood stopped racing in her ears, she caught onto the end of their exchange. Zuko had challenged Zhao to an Agni Kai at sunset.

"It's a shame your father won't be here to watch me humiliate you. I guess your uncle will do," Zhao lashed. He started to retreat away, but not before casting Kasumi a malignant look that sent goosebumps up her arms.

Pearl followed Zhao out of the tent with an apologetic look on her face, but Kasumi barely noticed. There was something more pressing on her mind. The glint in his eyes, the way he looked at her, the talk of her family . . .

Kasumi stopped letting herself be known since that night her parents sent her away. There was no way you could attack her anymore, because that girl you were fighting was not the same girl fighting you. You can't siege a fortress that doesn't exist.

But Zhao had found her. He was clever enough to knife past the ruse. Just like his daughter did, although hers was entirely accidental. 

And if Zhao had found her real weak point, that meant he knew things from before she'd created this other person people fought. From when she was known.

And that meant that he knew why her father pushed her out.

It was the first flicker of fear Kasumi felt since that last night in her home as an unguarded girl.

—☯︎︎—

"KILL HIM, ZUKO. Knock him dead. Burn his face off like a plastic doll. Set his hair on fire. Melt his eyes into his sockets and let them run down his face—"

"That's enough, Kasumi," Iroh groaned. "Remember your firebending basics, Prince Zuko. They are your greatest weapons."

On the other side of the ship's deck, Pearl was staring longingly at her opponents. Oh, to be on their side, and not all the way over here with her stuffy father.

"Watch carefully, Pearl," Zhao said gruffly. He was in front of her, down on one knee, facing away from his opponent in Agni Kai tradition. The red tint of the sky washed over his bare chest (she had no idea why part of tradition was taking your shirt off), and only made him seem larger. "This is how you defeat your adversaries."

Pearl wasn't so sure. She hated violence almost as much as she hated the guards standing watch behind her. Nevertheless, she nodded. "Of course, Father." Please lose, please lose, please lose. . .

"This will be over quickly," Zhao said. Both Zuko and Zhao rose to turn to each other, and the red cloth draped around their shoulders fell to the floor.

Pearl looked at Kasumi on the other end of the ship, hoping for solace. The girl's eyes seemed to go everywhere but Zuko, and Pearl hid a smile. Nice to know she wasn't the only one who could get a little flustered.

The gong sounded. The Agni Kai had begun.

Commander and Prince assumed their stances. Kasumi studied Zuko' shoulders—er, fighting stance, and swallowed. She met Pearl's eyes.

If Kasumi knew Pearl only from the letters they'd written, she would think Commander Zhao's daughter would blindly egg her father on no matter the situation. But knowing Pearl now, it was obvious she was much more independent than she was supposed to be. Her posture was looser, face less complacent, and the wringing of her hands as she stared at the Prince showed she was on Zhao's side as much as Kasumi was.

Zuko threw the first fireball. Zhao dodged and deflected each with ease. "C'mon," Kasumi muttered under her breath, definitely not inspecting the flex of Zuko's muscles.

When Kasumi looked ahead, she found Pearl wiggling her eyebrows at her. Kasumi's cheeks flushed.

The duel progressed through kicks and whips of fire. Kasumi thought Zhao wasn't all that special—to her, Zuko's fire was stronger—but her stomach was still twisting in anticipation.

In a couple minutes, Zhao had Zuko tired out. Pearl watched with a sickly fear as Zhao washed waves of fire over the Prince, pushing him back, and he did nothing but grunt in return. "No," She said to herself.

Zuko was knocked onto the floor. "Break his root!" Kasumi yelled, full of vigour. "Kill him!"

"No, don-don't do that!" Iroh exclaimed. "Just the first part!"

With a roar, Zhao leapt in the air, landing in front of Zuko in a cloud of dust. Zhao was fearsome, Kasumi thought. And he wanted—needed—to be feared.

Kasumi glanced at Pearl again, and from the paleness of the girl's cheeks to her shaky hands, Kasumi felt sick to her stomach. She realized that Zhao wasn't the kind of man that separated the fighting stance he used in Fire Nation conquests from the stances he used at home. To him, they were one and the same. To him, fear was a reward.

And that meant he was no father at all.

She was so preoccupied that she didn't notice Zuko heeding her and Iroh's advice: as Zhao sent a punch of flame towards his face, Zuko spun around and knocked Zhao's legs right out from beneath him. He landed on his feet upright, and Zhao cowered to the floor.

"Yeah!" Kasumi hollered. Pearl's face flooded with relief, and she did a happy little jig to herself when she was sure her father wasn't looking.

Zuko advanced with tactful kicks and low blows to send the commander off balance. Kasumi was beside herself with glee—definitely not because Zuko was winning. It was just because Zhao was losing, that's all.

After stumbling around, Zhao collapsed on his back. Zuko towered over him, ready to deliver the final blow. Ready to scar him, too.

A terrible part of Pearl, for a brief moment, was excited about it.

"Do it!" Zhao gritted, shutting his eyes.

Pearl saw Zuko's face change. It was slight, but it told her what she needed to know. So instead of branding Zhao with his violent flame, Zuko aimed it right next to his head instead.

Both fighters stilled. The Agni Kai was over.

"That's it?" Zhao spewed. "Your father raised a coward."

Kasumi's nails dug into her palm again. "Give it up buddy, you lost."

"Next time you get in my way, I promise. . . I won't hold back," Zuko clipped. As he retreated, a smile grew to Pearl's face. He handled the fight with dignity.

She failed to notice her father staring up at her, taking in her joy despite his defeat. How she was staring at Zuko like he was a martyr, and not a thief. How his daughter, the daughter indebted to him, was happy. His sweaty, panting face turned rotten.

Zhao roared and unleashed a kick of fire at Zuko one last time. Just as the flames licked the Prince's body, Iroh snagged Zhao's foot. He threw Zhao back. "So this is how the great Commander Zhao acts in defeat?" Iroh asked pitifully. "Disgraceful. Even in exile, my nephew is more honourable than you." He started to walk off, but not before looking to Pearl. "Thanks again for the tea, it was delicious." The Prince and his uncle walked off.

Kasumi stayed a moment longer, staring at the wrathful commander and his shrinking daughter. Pathetic.

"He should've killed you," She said coldly.

Zhao gnashed his teeth. Something sparked in him. It was dangerous, and Kasumi relished it. He would not have her fear today. "You will get what's coming to you, girl. I promise you that." He gnarled, staring up at her.

He leapt to his feet, grabbing for her shoulder, but she scrambled back just in time. Her heart thumped through her ears, an unnatural fear suffocating her. It gave a spark to his eyes, and Kasumi couldn't snuff it. He was figuring her out. He knew.

But how?

The unspoken question passed between them. Her arms tinged with something familiar, something painful. Spirits, she wanted that aloe.

Kasumi tore her eyes away from him, just missing the pleading, dreadful look his daughter gave her. Her knees felt wobbly as she stepped away. "Can't wait," She managed to say. The fabric of her skirt was bunched in her hand.

This was the first time Kasumi meddled with the fearsome Commander Zhao. It would not be her last.

Pearl watched Kasumi go. Her heart pounded in her ears. She wished Kasumi would stay longer, would linger, would be the barrier between her and her dad. But instead as Kasumi sauntered off, sun turning her ebony hair maroon, Pearl knew there never would be a different life for her. There was only this. There was only Father.

But then, he snarled at her. "You dare relish in my victory, daughter?" Teeth bared, he stalked closer. "You dare dishonour me?"

Pearl went stiff. Please stay there. Please don't come any closer. "Father, I didn't—" She choked.

"You made a fool of me, Pearl. You sided with our opponents instead of your own father. Are you really that spiteful?"

"They're not—" She caught herself. "No, Father!"

He was in front of her now. His eyes were so dark they looked black. She could feel the heat and the anger coming off him. It burned her arms, and she stepped back. "If you're so keen on sabotage, on betrayal, maybe I shouldn't have somebody like that wandering in my camp."

Tears welled in her eyes like they always did. She'd made a horrible mistake. How could she think he wouldn't notice? How could she think it wasn't a big deal? "I-I didn't betray you, it's not—" Her voice splintered.

Zhao's voice raised, growing taller, taller, taller until he was the only thing Pearl could see. "If you love them so much, why don't you just go with them? Hm?! How about that?!"

She shook her head, eyes glossing. "Father please, I don't understand!" She didn't want to go home. She didn't want to go back to being locked up in a tower, waiting for someone to rescue her.

His face went still. She waited for the fire, waited for the fury, but instead she got one word.

"Leave."

Pearl swallowed. She couldn't tell if a tear was trickling down her cheek or if she was imagining it. "What?" She croaked.

"Go with them. Get your things. Catch them before they part." He scowled at her. "I don't want to see your face for the time being. A break would do me good."

This was worse than fire. The fire was quick, and it felt like a friend if you let it consume you. This was disappointment. This was betrayal of her own doing. This was slow, taking its time, gnawing at your heart from the inside. Pearl couldn't take the fire with her. And that meant she would take the guilt instead.

"Father, please. . ." She rasped to a whisper. She reached a hand, not to touch him, but to bade him. He turned away.

"I'll pick you up next time our paths cross," He said. Pearl's heart cried out when he didn't pour the emotion into that sentence like he wanted. She felt starved, like finding a glass of water after days in the desert only for someone to take it from under you just as you pressed it to your lips. Her stomach searched for the emotion. Searched for his bluff, for his hesitance, for his love. But as usual, it came up dry. And she was left craving something she'd never have.

A strangled sound came deep within her throat. "Father, no. . ." She whimpered.

But he was already gone.

____________________________
A/N. . .
okay WOW sorry this chapter took so long but like,,,,, it was worth it right

i took a hiatus for around two months because i really was not in the best mental state, and the first draft of this chapter i wrote in that time was so convoluted and complex and just. . . sad so i had to wait until i was in the proper headspace to write a chapter like this that wasn't filled with my own impulse feelings that made no sense. but this chapter is by far my favourite—if not one of my favourite chapters in all my books—because i'm so glad i finally nailed the symbolism for the setup to pearl's character!! from this point on, she's central to the story!! that introduction piece was one of the most interesting things to write and i'm really happy with how it turned out. i definitely got carried away with the writing style in this but you guys are long overdue for an update and i might as well make it extravagant :)

a lot happened in this chapter SO let's keep in mind that pearl and zhao's relationship is in no way healthy. he is far worse in this book than he is in the show. he literally just impulse-sent his daughter on a ship bc he didn't like the way she reacted to something. he will suffer😈😈

also one of the the things that drove me to write this book from the get-go was the concept of pearl, kasumi, and zuko sticking together!! fuck ozai's angels IROH'S ANGELS is where it's at!! and pearl and kasumi are besties for the resties they are very important to each other going forward they are mai and ty lee but the stakes are cranked up to a thousand

this note was long so thank you for the support on this book, and please continue!! i want this chapter to get lots of engagement since i'm really proud of it so please talk about anything at all in the comments i want to see what you guys think and it genuinely makes me write quicker <3 thank you for reading!

—perrie