CHAPTER SEVEN
escaping problems

I find that sometimes life affects me more than the average person. When I cry, I drown in a sea of depression. When life becomes too much for me, I crash and burn in a spectator display of devastation and utter hopelessness.

Growing up in the foster system forced me to be strong in ways many people would not understand. I had a thick skin and often things rolled right over me, failing to have any affect on me. But the foster system had also broken me in a way that could not be undone. The shards of my childhood could never be repaired; I just had to live my life acknowledging them and trying not to let those broken pieces cut me.

I had embraced my adulthood with open arms because to me, it meant safety. For the past few years, I had known more peace than any other point in my life and I had become extremely used to it. Now, I felt like that safety and peace that I had worked so hard for was being torn away from me in punishing rips.

Everything had become too much for me. Just being away from my home was extremely draining, but all of the new information on top of it was crippling.

When I woke up the next day in my hotel room, I felt completely numb. For a while, I just stared up at the intricate patterns of the ceiling, trying to find the motivation to get out of bed. I didn't know what the day would bring but I was not ready to face it.

When I finally mustered up the will to leave the comfort of the soft pillows and blankets, I made my way into the adjoining bathroom. I found that most of my problems could be soothed by a hot shower.

I turned on the shower and removed my pajamas as I waited for the water to heat up. I avoid looking in the mirror, knowing that the image staring back at me would not be a pleasant one. I felt absolutely drained and I had no doubt that my appearance would show that.

I sat down under the shower, letting the water cascade down my back as my head rested on my knees. Finally I let the tears flow and they just couldn't seem to stop. Everything that had happened in the past few days had caught up to me and I felt exhausted.

It was difficult to work through my feelings when I did not understand most of them. I felt at odds with my heart, which yearned for people I had never met, nor had known about until recently. I felt so out of control and I did not know what to do.

I sat there for what felt like hours, letting my mind wander from one tragedy to the next. I grasped for reason but it darted out of my reach. As the tears streamed down my cheeks, I slowly began to realize that there was one thing that I could control.

My breathing evened out and my tears slowed as the logical side of my brain kicked in. Whilst three of my mates were buried at sea in eternal unconsciousness and one other was dead, I had another mate that I was yet to meet that was alive and well.

Half of me wished to heed Elijah's warnings but the other half wished to make my own mind up about Klaus.

Niklaus had become a cruel and callous man, as proven by what he did to his siblings. But maybe there was still hope for him? I more than anyone understood becoming something ugly to survive unforgiving circumstances.

Maybe the caring young man that Henrik spoke of so fondly was still in there somewhere?

A sudden longing that I had long ago suppressed bust free at the thought. Despite everything that had happened, perhaps my wish for a family could come true?

The hope that flared to life in my chest made me feel pitiful. Life had proven time and time again that it was not on my side, so why did I still carry so much faith that everything would be alright? My tears started again and I gripped my eggs tightly to my chest as I wept.

I startled upon hearing the bathroom door open and my head jerked upwards in the direction on the door. Through the foggy glass that surrounded me, I saw a blurry silhouette of a man. I smiled faintly when I realised it was Henrik. I had long ago given him permission to enter the bathroom whilst I showered to help pull me out of a depressive episode.

"Mor, are you alright? I was knocking on the door but you didn't answer." Henrik asked softly and I bit my lip to hold back a sob.

Clearing my throat, I answered, "Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts I must not have heard."

Henrik paused before saying, "You've been in the shower for over an hour, are you okay?"

"Everything is great!" I said, unable to stop the way my voice cracked.

Slowly, the door of the shower creaked open and I gave my best friend a sad smile. His worried gaze swept over my face, noting my eyes, which were red and puffy from crying.

"Shit, of course you're not okay." He murmured and coming to some sort of decision, he climbed into the shower fully clothed, closing the door behind him.

"You'll get wet!" I protested, looking up at him from where I still sat on the floor.

"I'm aware of how a shower works, sweetheart." Henrik teased and I let out a small laugh that quickly turned into a sob.

I ducked my head, resting it on my knees. Henrik crouched down and tilted my chin up so I would look at him.

"What can I do to help?" He asked softly.

"Just your presence is helping me." I shrugged sadly.

"Okay, well let's get out of the shower or else Elijah's water bill is going to get very expensive." Henrik replied and I chuckled.

"It's a hotel. I'm pretty sure they don't charge you for how much water you use."

"Technically Elijah owns this hotel so..." Henrik informed me as he helped me stand. My mouth gaped open at the revelation and I let out a choked laugh.

"Seriously?" I asked, biting my lip to suppress a smile. Henrik nodded and I chuckled. "Oops."

"I'm sure that Elijah will not mind." Henrik smiled as he held my hand, helping me safely step out of the shower. I was fully naked but I did not mind. We had seen each other without clothes plenty of times since we had been living together for over a decade. He handed me a towel, his gaze not traveling below my face, which almost made me feel offended but I knew he was only being a gentleman.

"Thank you," I murmured as I wrapped it around me, "Henrik?"

"Yes, my love?" He replied as we stood in the middle of the steamy bathroom together.

"I know that it is probably really stupid but I want to find Klaus." I said quietly.

Henrik froze and then admitted, "So do I but Elijah said-"

"I don't care what Elijah said!" I interrupted him, "I have only just met him and he has not earned my trust yet."

Henrik let out a long sigh, "I just want you to be safe, Morgana."

"I know." I said in a small voice.

"Let's talk more about this later. We don't want to make a decision based on limited information."

"Okay." I nodded in agreement, bringing him in for a one handed hug.

"I will always love and protect you, Mor." he whispered into my ear as he gripped me tightly.

Henrik had first told me those exact words three years ago and repeated them often. It was only now that I knew that his words were not platonic.

"I love you too."