The rest of training goes a little better. I don't die at least anymore after working with Ironhide. I had to pat myself down with water to make it look like I was sweating. One of the few nice things about this. No sweating, but very hard to hide in a training environment. I'm just glad the day is over. Arcee and her sisters had us running laps with our weapons, chasing us until we couldn't breathe. I could, but I had to pretend. I took breathing for granted. Just another thing to add to the lift of things I never thought I needed to feel alive. A plus, I didn't see Sunstreaker the rest of the day. Not sure what those twins are doing, but they never showed up in the hangar at all.

We get dismissed and everyone goes their separate ways. They are all going to shower, then the chow hall. A routine all soldiers fall easily into. I take a minute, lingering behind them. Walking backwards towards the other end of the hangar. The sun isn't setting yet, but it will be starting soon. The urge to head out to the cliff is overwhelming, but not yet. I keep backing up until I hit something, or someone, made of metal. I turn around and look up the polished silver wheeled bot.

"Hello, Sideswipe. Where's your brother?" I ask cautiously.

"Hey, Hart. He won't come out of our room. Been stuck in there all day." Sideswipe says, looking down at me.

"Is everything alright?" I step back up a bit to see him better.

"Can we take a walk? I understand if you need to shower first." He leans down as he speaks to me.

"Not going to kidnap me, right?" I smirk.

He gives a small chuckle, "No, if I was, I already would have done it a long time ago."

"Let me put my gear away. I'll be right back." I smile.

"Don't make me wait to long." He sends me a wink.

I only laugh and rush out of the hangar. The halls are mostly clear, and I get to my room with no trouble. I throw my gear on my bed, then change out of my blouse. It's still moist from the water I dribbled on myself. I check myself in the mirror quick before putting on a new blouse. I'm as quick as I can be. Sideswipe is in vehicle mode by time I get back to the hanger. He must see me coming. The passenger side door opens. I walk briskly over to him and slide in.

"Thought we were walking?" I ask as the door closes.

"I'm taking the chance to go on a drive with you." He says, his voice coming through the stereo.

"I should have seen this coming." I shake my head, a smile playing on my lips.

"Hold on." He laughs and the seatbelt is flung over me.

"Whoa!" I shout as he floors it. The hangar becoming smaller and smaller in the mirror.

I'm not sure where we are going. It's not a big island, but there is enough room to make a few laps. He drives fast, dust and dirt flying behind him. We go out to an open area and he does a few donuts. I clutch tightly to the door and seat. I don't remember the last time I've had this much fun. Sideswipes laughter carries throughout the cabin. After a few more turns and further from base, he finally slows down.

"Hart." He starts.

I look at the stereo, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm worried." He states.

"About what?" I give him a puzzled looked.

"Sunstreaker. I know it's only been two days, but he's reacting different that I thought he would. He's not adjusting at all." He explains.

"Sides, it has only been two days. How do you expect him to adjust so quickly?" I emphasize.

"Growing up we always adapted fast. We moved around a lot. Learned different cultures. We made things work. It feels like he's even worse than before. He doesn't want to listen to Optimus or be around humans." He continues.

"Did something happen while he was gone? Maybe the stress of war is hitting him hard. You, Autobots, lost your home. You two have been separated. Maybe things happened to him and it's all starting to sink in. He may just be hurting." I hope I'm making my point come across.

"I guess I've been so excited to finally see him again. I didn't think about all that." I feel him settle onto his wheels.

"Give him time. Honestly, he probably just wants to be with you. You're his safe place. At least I'd assume so. Let him come around on his own terms." I suggest.

"Your right. I just wish everything was the same as it was before." He sighs.

"Believe me, I wish it was too." I say under my breath.

"Let's get back to base, shall we? Or I could keep you here all night." I feel the seatbelt tighten as he purrs.

"You wish. Let's go back." I smirk, smacking his trim.

"Your no fun." He mutters.

"I know." My laughter fills the cabin.

He doesn't reply, only shoving his alt in drive and racing off towards base. I hold on tightly as he drifts around corners. Soon enough, we are sliding into the hangar. I can't help but laugh as we come to a stop. Though, the laughter is short lived as I look out the windows. Sunstreaker is standing towards the back with his arms crossed and the same scowl on his face from when he first showed up. I'm unsure of what to do. Afraid would be an understatement of how I feel. Sideswipe opens the door and I hesitate to come out.

"He won't hurt you." He says quietly, "I promise."

I nod my head and slowly get out of the seat. Once I'm out, Sideswipe transforms. Sunstreaker never taking his eyes off us.

"I'll talk to you later." Sideswipe says quickly. Then he skates off before I can give him an answer.

I don't move yet. I watch him reach his brother. Sunstreaker gives him a disapproving look before skating off himself. Sideswipe holds an arm out for him. He then lowers his head and slowly skates after him. It would bring a tear to my eye if I could cry. For his brother's sake, I'm going to have to keep my distance from Sideswipe. I don't need Sunstreaker hating me even more than he already does.

After they are long gone, I finally pick up my feet and head to my room. Once I'm in, I close the door behind me, and I lean against it. I stay there for a moment, thinking. About Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. Twins born from a split spark. Two halves of a whole. They need each other to live. If one dies, so does the other. If ones not happy, neither is the other. It's a whole big mess I don't need to get involved with. Unfortunately, I think I have no choice. Sunstreaker has already seen too much, and he only wants to know more. Sideswipe has clearly chosen me as a confidant. If I would have just left him alone that night, I may not be in this mess. I have no clue what to do about this.

I take a good chunk of the night writing in my journal. I need to get my thoughts on paper. I'm sure once I finally move on someone will find these and read them. Maybe they will learn to never trust a cliffside or get involved in an alien war. A part of me wishes I would have stayed home. Like I was supposed to. It's my fault I'm here in the first place. I have many regrets. Things I wish I could change. But I can't stay focused on the past, I need to focus on the now.

Once finished writing, I shove the journal back in the drawer. Along with the other ones I've filled up. I lean back in my chair. The lamp on my desk illuminating my face. The only light at this time of night. I'm sure everyone is fast asleep. Besides those on duty. I'd rather be on duty at this point. I need something to keep my mind occupied. Sitting here isn't doing it. Nights are always the worst. If I could sleep, that would be one thing. Oh, how I miss sleep. When you close your eyes and just forget the world. Though, I'm sure my dreams would only be nightmares at this point.

I eventually turn the lamp off and lay in bed. The rest of the night I stare at the dark ceiling. Contemplating everything. My mind racing from one topic to another. The same thing that happens every night. I toss and turn willing myself to get comfortable. This bed feels like it's filled with knots. Feeling is a tough word for me to use. Nothing feels right anymore. Nothing has felt the same for about a year. One year and two days to be exact. Unfortunately, nothing will ever be the same again.