My hands seem stuck where they rest on the keyboard. My body doesn't want to leave, neither does my mind, but there is no point in me staying. I clench my teeth together as I will myself to move. A part of me is beginning to panic. Why can't I move? I watch the tip of my fingers begin to fade, slowly flooding up my hands to my arms.

"No, no, no!" I panic under my breath.

I focus all my energy on my hands, attempting to restore my color. Trying not to show what's going through my head, I try to relax. It's difficult, but slowly as it starts, my color comes back. Then seconds later I can move my fingers. As soon as I could move everything else, I shut down my computer and bolt out of there. I race out of the hangar, avoiding soldiers while I can. I sprint down the hallway and almost miss the door to my room. Once I'm in, I slam it closed behind me. My heartbeat would be racing if I had one. Though, my body can't stop going through the motions of breathing fast and heavy. My chest rising up and down rapidly. This is a nightmare.

My hands that I hid behind me after I closed the door come out and I stare at them. I'm terrified they will start to disappear again. My body being frozen, unable to move. It brings out the fear I had after saving Prime. Only this time, it felt worse. I watched myself slowly disappearing. Like watching myself die. I can't die yet. I have to apologize. Whether or not they accept it, I can't leave without saying goodbye to the twins. I've never wanted to live so badly in my life.

"What is happening to me?" I cry out, any weight I can maintain pulls me to the ground, my back against the door.

"I hate this so much. Why didn't I just die? This is worse. So much worse." I shudder. My whole body is shaking.

I'm not sure how long I stay on the floor. Time means nothing to me at the moment. I've never felt so numb. The realization of me actually dying makes me feel grim. My life was taken from me, now it dangles over me. High enough that I can't reach it, but close enough that I can still see it. Whoever is holding the string likes to play games. Sometimes pulling it out of sight, reminding me that I am dead. What a cruel way to hold onto someone's life.

"I saved Sideswipe and Prime, why keep me here to torment me with these games?" I ask no one.

"Your purpose hasn't been fulfilled." A disembodies voice echoes around me.

The voice is loud, making me cringe. Yet I'm sure heard it inside my head.

"What do you mean?" I can't stop myself from asking. Everything falls silent again.

"Tell me!" I demand pushing myself off the floor. "I have the right to know."

"Now isn't the time. You will know soon enough." The voice rattles through my skull.

"Are you behind me being a ghost? Why make me flicker or fade in and out if my time isn't up yet?" I ask through clenched teeth, looking around the room.

"You will learn more. Now isn't the time. Keep doing what you are doing. I will be back to explain when it is time." It answers me. My head hurts more with every word it says.

Once it finishes talking, the pain vanishes, and I let go of the grip I hold on my skull. Tension is released from my body. I feel free and reenergized again. I drop my hands to my side, and I sway on my feet for a moment. That felt way too unreal. So many questions come to my mind, flooding it. I can't decipher which ones to ask first. Not that there is anyone to give me an answer. There is one question that keeps pushing forward.

"Who was that?" I ask out loud, glancing around my empty barracks room.

About and hour someone begins to bang on my door. I flinch in surprise from my chair. I still haven't quite recovered from the previous invasion, but I get up anyway and head to the door. My hand grips the handle and I hold my breath. The handle turns slowly, but as soon as it clicks back, I swing the door open. One of the soldiers from my platoon stands there, trying to catch his breath.

"They have been found and they are on their way back." He says through huffs.

My feet start moving before my body can catch up. I rush out the door, barely closing it behind me. The soldier almost gets pushed over in the process. Others are also rushing to the hanger, also getting the news. The Autobots from team Bravo are already in. Everyone eagerly waiting for their return. A part of me is terrified to be out here, but I need to see the twins. I stand off to the side, eyes on the opening of the hanger. Chatter fills the base as everyone waits.

I heard the osprey before I saw it. Everyone did. 6 hours after finding out they were alive and they are finally returning. The hanger silences and all eyes are outside the hanger. The anticipation builds the close it gets. Everyone is on edge. I clasp my hands together, my fingers fidgeting. There is so much uncertainty filling the air. I'm terrified the twins won't even be able to look at me. That they will walk right past me, not sparing me a glance. I can't handle the suspense as they land. The ramp slowly lowers. Once it hits the ground, Optimus rolls out in vehicle form. The soldiers start walking down behind him, then the rest of the Autobots follow. The twins are the last to come out.

I watch as they slowly drive down the ramp. Their finish gleaming with the last bit of sun that is setting behind them. The soldiers move and make room for the Autobots, and they transform. Everyone starts to cheer. A smile spreads on my face as Sideswipe bows and waves, loving the attention. Sunstreaker crosses his arms and shakes his head towards his twin. But then seconds later they both stop and start to look through the crowd. I'm wondering if it's to find me, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I stay in my spot towards the back. They start to skate through the crowd. I can only watch them move closer and closer. Then Sunstreaker's optics find my eyes. He stops dead in his tracks and his shoulders relax. Almost as if he was afraid I was gone.

"Hart." He calls out, before skating over to me. Sideswipe follows with a smile on his face.

This is a whole different scenario from when they left. They were angry when they walked out my door. Now they look happy to see me. I stay where I am and wait for them to come to me. Which doesn't take them long. They practically jump over the crowd, skidding to a stop in front of me. Sunstreaker looks down on me with guilt ridden optics. A shy smile resting on his face as he takes me in. Sideswipe looks just as guilty. As if they both did something wrong. I take a step closer laying a hand on Sideswipe's wheel.

"I'm sorry, Sideswipe." I tell him, looking up at him.

He gives me a puzzled look, like he forgot why he was mad at me. It doesn't stay long, and his features soften.

"I'm just glad your still here." He says quietly.

"We need to talk." Sunstreaker says.

"My shift starts soon, and you guys need to rest. We can talk in the morning." I give a small smile.

"Did you get your day off?" Sideswipe asks, perking up a bit.

"No, too busy trying to find you guys." I shake my head.

"Stay here." Sideswipe puts his palms out to me before skating off.

I look up to Sunstreaker and he only shrugs. Clearly just as confused as me. We watch Sideswipe glide through the crowd before ending up by my workspace. He leans over, talking to my platoon Sargeant. I have a feeling I know what he is asking him. My platoon Sargeant looks over to me, as does Sideswipe. He gives me a nod of approval and looks back to Sideswipe and tells him. A smile grows on my face as Sideswipe races back to us.

"Let's go talk." He huffs as he stops in front of us.

"May I carry you?" Sunstreaker asks gently.

"You may." I smile at him as he reaches down to pick me up.

The way he lifts me up, makes me feel like a small child. His digits wrap around me carefully and he pulls me close to his chest. Then they create wind as they skate down the hallway. I hold onto Sunstreaker's digit, turning my head towards him to keep it out of my face. We turn down a different corridor, heading away from my room and to where the Autobots stay. I have never been down here nor seen one of their rooms. I wonder if they have beds or do they sleep in vehicle mode. This is not something I should be worried about. We are about to air all my dirty laundry. Yet, I don't feel nervous about it at all.

Their room is at the very end of the hall. Sideswipe goes in first, then Sunstreaker follows. There are two beds. One on each side of the room. One side is extremely messy, while the other is in perfect order. It is not hard to figure out who's is who. Once side is also painted silver while the other is covered in a mural. It's the most gorgeous piece of artwork I've ever seen. My jaw drops to the floor.

"I painted that after our first talk." Sunstreaker says putting me on his bed.

It's as if I'm staring out off the cliff. The sun is casting a warm glow over the ocean as the morning waves slowly crash along the shore. Then there is the cliff itself. The dirt and grass looking so realistic I could touch it. The coconut tree stands proudly, its large leaves mimic blowing in the breeze. A picture taken with a camera could never compare to the detail that has been incorporated with this painting. I feel as though I'm actually there.

"It's unbelievable, Sunstreaker. Sideswipe said you painted, but I would have never imagined you'd be this good." I complement.

"I'm glad you like it." He replies, a blush creeping on his face.

"I feel like I'm actually there." I mumble to myself, not expecting a response.

"That's the point." Sunstreaker whispers back to me.

"When do I get to go out there? Sunny keeps telling me I'm not allowed to. What's so special about it?" Sideswipe joins Sunstreaker to his right, both facing me. I break my gaze from the mural to the twins.

"It's where I died." I finally admit to him and the smile that was on his face vanishes, just like I will one day.

"How and why has no one found your body?" His tone gets angrier as he spills the question.

"I fell off. Dirt gave way and I stumbled down the side of the cliff, breaking my neck when I hit the bottom. I buried my body in the sand, and no one goes out there, so it's easy to hide. Sunstreaker is the first to go there. As far as I know." I explain, speaking nonchalantly about the situation.

"You sound so at peace about this. Why aren't you upset?" Sideswipe falls to his knees next to the bed, hurt emitting from his optics.

I walk close to the edge, looking directly at him, "Sideswipe, I have been dead over a year. I have come to terms with it. I was very upset at first. Some days, I still am, but there is nothing I can do about it. My life is over, and I am on borrowed time right now." If I could caress his cheek I would or hug him. The pain I see is killing me all over again.

His gaze falls to the floor. The gears turning in his head as he makes sense of what I told him. This is the reason I didn't want anyone to find out or get close to anyone. I didn't want to hurt anyone. That way once I do disappear, they don't feel too much. I'm just another solider that died. I feel so guilty.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Sideswipe's voice is pained as he speaks. It hurts to listen too.

"I don't want to be treated differently or experimented on. I also had no idea how to tell someone. I mean how do you tell someone your dead?" I say honestly.

"I hate it. I hate this situation. Why you? Why did you have to die?" Sideswipe stands abruptly, roaring with anger.

He starts skating back and forth. His servos to his helm as he mutters angerly to himself. Sunstreaker and I can only stand back and watch. I wish there was something I could do or say to make this easier. He's taking it about the same as Sunstreaker. It doesn't surprise me. They are twins after all. I wait for him to start throwing stuff, but it never comes.

"Sides." Sunstreaker calls out, his servo reaching for him.

Sideswipe halts, helm turning to his twin, and I can see red leaking into those cerulean blue optics, "How are you so calm?" He accuses, pointing a digit into his brothers' chest.

"I was in the same place you are not so long ago. It hurts every time I see her, knowing it might be my last. But we need to make the most of it." Sunstreaker confesses. It only makes me hurt more.

"There's got to be something we can do." Sideswipe shouts.

"There isn't." I speak up and Sideswipe optics snap to me.

"We can fix this. What about Optimus and the matrix?" He's trying so hard to come up with a solution.

"No one can help me. I'm sorry Sideswipe, but my life is over." I'm dying all over again having to tell him this.

"There has to be a way." Sideswipe turns to his brother and pleads to him.

"I wish there was. I've ready anything and everything I could find. There's no answers." Sunstreaker replies sadly. His helm down, too ashamed to look at his twin.

"I don't want to keep dwelling on this. I know it hurts, Sideswipe, but I'd like to enjoy what time I have left with my favorite bots." A sad smile spreads on both our faces.

"I think we can help with that." Sunstreaker says, a small smile lighting up his face.