"So, what now?" I ask when Sunstreaker finally slows down into the hanger.

"We are going somewhere that we can talk." He says through clenched teeth.

"I think I'd rather go take a nap. I was up all night. So were you. We should sleep." I fake a yawn. Hand over my mouth, hoping he buys it.

"You not getting out of this." he says sternly.

"Darn it." I mutter.

Then, without warning, Sunstreaker transforms around me. Next thing I know I'm sitting in his passenger seat. The buckle slides around me and clicks into place. I don't have a chance to be shocked as he guns the gas pedal to the floor, burning rubber out of the hanger. All I can do is hold on for dear life.

"Slow down!" I cry out as we got further away from base.

The RPMs lower, speed climb down, but he is still moving quickly. Clearly trying to get there fast. I might not make it out in one piece. He is not happy with me. I'm sure making him lie to his brother and Ratchet didn't help. Trees and foliage whip past. A scene I always enjoy seeing doesn't make me happy at the moment. All I want to do is crawl into bed and not wake up. I have a bad feeling about this talk. The coconut tree comes closer and closer. I cover my face, afraid he is going to crash, but he slams on his brakes, and we come to a dead stop.

"Get out." He orders, opening the door.

I don't hesitate as the seat belt releases and I stumble out. He transforms next to me as I stand. I keep my back to him, wiping the dirt off me. It's silent for a moment, besides the waves crashing against the shore.

"I think it's time for you to stay away from me." I finally say, breaking the silence with my back still to him.

"Excuse me. That's what you have to say. No explanation for what happened to you and Sideswipe. No reason as to why I had to lie about it. Now you want me to stay away." He goes off, yelling at me.

"I should have kept my distance. So should have you." I say what I've been saying.

"Then why did you let me keep advancing?" He challenged.

"Cause I was stupid. You need to leave me alone now. I only have a slight idea of what happened in there and that only made me realize I should have never got close to you or Sideswipe." I calmly say to him, but I can feel myself ready to break.

"No. No! This is not how you get to end things. You are going to explain to me what happened. Then we are going to go back to make sure Sideswipe is okay." He demands, his shadow looming over me.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You need to go back to your brother and leave me alone." I whip around, trying to hold back the anger rising in my chest. Why can't he just leave this alone?

"Yes, you do. You owe me that! I can't just walk away. You are my friend. Sideswipe's friend. Don't do this!" His voice breaks.

"Sunstreaker you..."

"No! I know we are your only friends. I know you push everyone away. I know..."

"I'm dead!" I shout over him.

He takes a step back, his optics wide. Trying to process what I just said. My shoulders shrug forward, and I look to the ground.

"What?" He sputters out.

My eyes meet pain filled optics. I can't find the words to say. After another moment of silence, he speaks again.

"What did you say?" He almost cries, gliding closer to me again.

"I'm dead, Sunstreaker." I answer in a whisper.

"How? You are real." He falls to his knees, getting closer to me.

"I've been dead for over a year. I fell off this ledge and when I woke up my real body stayed behind, but somehow everyone could still hear and see me. No one knows. It's why I can teleport, phase through things, not eat or sleep." I explain. My gaze wanders to the edge of the cliff, unable to look at Sunstreaker.

He reaches a servo out and tries to touch me. I let it pass through me. It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel a bit freer from this burden I hold. This secret that I've held so dear. My only worry is what Sunstreaker will do with this information. I never thought someone would find out.

"Is this why you always come out here?" He asks, a gentle tone in his voice.

"Yes. I feel rejuvenated when I come. I also have to make sure my body is safe." I reply.

"Is it under the little rock thing down there on the beach? That's why you looked at it after I landed." I can only not my head to his question.

"Why did you flicker?" he asks quietly, as if he is afraid of the answer.

"I am not sure exactly, but it may be because I don't have much time left. I've only done that once before and it was after I left you on the beach when you first arrived." I see no point in lying to him anymore.

"But what about Sideswipe? What did you do?" He looks me over as if waiting for me to flicker again.

"I have no idea what happened. I felt the same thing Sideswipe did. It have never happened before." I wish I had a better answer for him.

"I was hoping I was right." He says sadly.

"About what?" I look at him in confusion.

"That you were an alien." His optics look into my eyes. The sadness is killing me all over again.

"I honestly wish I was, but I'm human, just a ghost." I give a slight smile, wishing this situation was different.

"I thought no one can see or hear ghosts? I mean you still do your job. Everyone thinks your alive." He's trying so hard to understand. It's sorta cute in a way.

"I've been doing a good job letting everyone think I'm still alive. Until you came along, no one knew my secret." I decided to sit down. My back against the coconut tree.

"Do you know how much time you have left?" he asks as he sits down too, legs dangling over the side of the cliff.

"I have no idea. I didn't exactly get an instruction manual on being a ghost." I say sarcastically.

"I'm not sure you should be joking about this." He growls, sending a glare my way.

"This is why I didn't want anyone getting close to me." I stress.

"Well, it's too late for that!" He roars.

He jumps up and skates away, before pacing back. His servo on his chin, thinking hard. I can see the gears turning in his head. Things will never be the same after this. I have probably ruined the first real friendship I have ever had. I look over to the ocean. The waves crash roughly against the shore. The breeze washing over me. A light mist hit my face and I let it stay. A few water droplets slide down my cheek, almost like a tear. It feels deserved.

"I don't want to believe this." Sunstreaker breaks the silence.

"You think I want too? I kept thinking this was a nightmare for months until I realized I never felt hungry or tired." I stand up and walk over to him, "I stared at my body for weeks, begging myself to wake up. Realizing that I could never cry again. I have to pour water on myself to make it look like I'm sweating. I gave up living and buried my body further in the sand, praying no one would stumble upon me."

He gives me a sad look. He pities me. I can feel it.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" he asks quietly.

"Exactly how would you explain to someone that you're a ghost and your body is at the bottom of a cliff?" I question him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"But maybe someone could have helped you." He reasons.

"How could anyone help me? I'm dead. You can't bring me back to life. I would have become a science experiment. I was brought back for a reason, and I need to figure it out on my own." I tell him.

"Ratchet can fix you. Ratchet can fix anything. Maybe Wheeljack and come up with an invention to put you back in your body. Prime has the matrix..." He starts going off.

"Sunstreaker!" I yell, his optics snap to me, "Stop, please. They can do anything with Cybertronians. I'm human. Once we die, we don't come back. I mean like back to life like normal. Not like me. Cause I'm not really alive."

"But maybe they can think of something." He tries to pick me up, but his servo goes right through me. He sighs in defeat.

"I'm sorry, Sunstreaker, but it's to late for me." I can't look at him anymore. This whole conversation is too much.

"But..." He doesn't finish his sentence.

Instead, I feel him watch me as I walk to the ledge. I wish I never came out here in the first place. If I never would have disobeyed the order to stay away from this cliff. Maybe I should have stayed home like my parents wanted. What was I thinking?

"If only I had come sooner." He mutters to himself.

"Why would that have mattered?" I ask, looking at the ground.

"I could have saved you." He replies after a moment, so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

"If I was alive, I would have never been here when you landed. You would have never met me. I would still be going out with the other soldiers. I probably would still have died. You would never have been able to save me." I cry out. So much emotion is ripping through me. I haven't felt this way in so long.

"I would have protected you!" He snarls, angry optics searing through me.

"You never would have known I existed." I try not to shout back.

"Yes, I would have. You aren't like the other humans. You are better than them. Sideswipe would still have a thing for you. You are special and I still would have seen that. I know I would have." His words pierce through me. I wish I could believe them.

"You don't know that. I could be an entirely different person. I'm only who I am because I took life for granted. I see everything entirely different than I did before." I try to explain.

"I can't lose you, Hart." And those words are ones I never wanted to hear.

I look into his optics. The feeling of guilt washing over me. Nothing I say will make this any easier. I can't fix this situation, and neither can Sunstreaker. No matter how much he wants too. I will disappear in the end.

"I wish there was something I could say to make this easier, but I will disappear one day. I'm not gonna be here forever." I say as gently as I can.

"I know humans don't live as long as Cybertronians, but I had hoped to have more time with you." He expressed.

"It would be best if you start distancing yourself now." I insist.

"No, I am going to get all the time I can with you." He sounds determined. I want to feel glad, but it will hurt more in the end.

"I don't want you to focus so much on me." I gesture to myself.

"I want too. Sideswipe and I are going to give you the best rest of your life." He leans down to talk to me. "Sideswipe! We have to tell him." Jumping back up and looking towards base.

"No. No one else can know." I remind him. His optics snap back to me.

"How can I not tell him? He needs to know. He will be even more upset if you don't show up one day." He objects.

"Fine, but not yet. Please don't say anything to him until I'm ready. Besides once I do pass on. My body is right down there. Lead him to that. I figured someone would find it when I do finally vanish." I point down below the cliff.

"I won't say anything yet and that will be my last resort." He finally agrees.

"Thank you. I can live with that." I try to give him a smile, one he doesn't return.

Silence falls upon us again. This was probably the hardest conversation I have ever had. I know he's hurt, and I wish I could fix it. There is nothing I can do but hope I don't vanish tomorrow. I walk over to the edge and stare at the small rock formation. If only I could rise from the sand and be alive again. That is my only wish. I want to be able to breathe again. To taste food on my tongue. To run and feel winded after. To not have to lie to anyone. I wish to be me again.