After the argument with Sunstreaker, I couldn't stay at the cliff any longer. I had looked down at the shore before jumping back to my room. I kick the closet thing to me, which happens to be my trash can. It hits the wall and falls over. Crumpled pieces of paper roll out. I let out a frustrated sigh, then kneeled on the floor, slowly picking it all up. I grumble low to myself as I do.

"Everything is ruined." I growl out, throwing a piece of paper across the room. I sit down, leaning my back against my rack.

If I could go back in time, I would never have left home. I wish for anything to go home. Unfortunately, I'll never see home again. This is not the life I imagined for myself. But I have become accustomed to it. Now I have Sunstreaker on my back, ruining all I've done to keep my secret. I sit on the floor and my hands go up to the sides of my head, slowly squeezing. Another silent scream doesn't come out of my mouth. Oh, I wish I could release it all. The pain, the anger, the hell I'm putting myself through.

After some quiet self-loathing. I get up off the floor to the shower. A trail of sand follows me to the head. I stare at myself in the mirror for a moment. My hair is full of sand, dust and dirt, making my blonde hair almost brown. I shake my head over the tub, running my hands through, attempting to get as much out as possible. The gel making it difficult to run my fingers through. I'll have to redo it after I finish. Then I turn on the shower and get ready to go in. More dirt falls to the floor. I'm more covered than last time. He tried hard to burn rubber. I think I need to stay away from Sunstreaker for a while. It will be hard when all he does is follow me around.

I feel much cleaner after my shower. I put on my skivvies for now until I need to put on my uniform and brush my hair out. As I walk out of the head, I stare down at the dirt and sand taking up most of my floor. I just cleaned this yesterday. I think to myself. I grab the broom and get to sweeping. There is so much more than before. It's going to take me awhile to clean this all up. 

After I finish, thinking it is good enough, I grab a book and go lay on my rack. That is until there is a knock on my door. Military personnel have been informed on who is working night shift. No one should be bothering me right now. I carefully put my book down and walk to the door. My hand grips the knob and I slowly turn it to the left. As the door opens, a man with his back turned to me is standing there. He is tall, with auburn messy hair. Wearing a grey T-shirt that seems a little too small, molding to his back and biceps, black jeans fitting him perfectly with silver designer shoes. He whips around as my door widens. I'm caught by the look in his vibrant cerulean blue eyes.

"Hart. I need to talk to you." The man rushes past me.

"Who are you?" I question, staring at him as he storms in.

He looks down at himself quickly before looking back at me. "Oh yeah, I don't use this very often. It's me, Sideswipe. I needed to be smaller to get in your room."

"We couldn't talk somewhere else?" I ask, still confused.

"No, I felt this would be more private." he says, looking tense.

"What's going on?" I question cautiously, closing the door behind me, then leaning against it.

"Have you been talking to Sunstreaker?" He blurts out, staring straight into my eyes.

I take a second to think. "Yes." I can't lie to him.

"Has he done anything to you?" He takes a step towards me, his hands trying not to reach out for me.

"Um like what?" I shrug, unsure how much I want to reveal.

"He has done something. What did he do?" Another step closer, hands turning into fists.

"Why do you assume he did something to me?" I put my hands up in defense.

"He's becoming obsessed with something. He won't tell me what. I'm worried he's going too far. Optimus wants him to start training, but he refuses. And he's always watching or disappearing. He won't talk to me." He uses his hands as he talks, only growing more frustrated.

"But what does this have to do with me?" I ask again, feeling skeptical of what he's saying.

"I know he's been watching you. Obviously talking to you. At first, he was claiming you fell through his servo, then vanished. He was dead set you were not human. He hasn't brought it up in a few days, but he hasn't stopped watching you. I'm worried." He finally explains.

"Should I stop talking to him? It's usually him coming to me." I tell him.

"No, I'm actually glad he is reaching out and talking to someone. I just don't want him to hurt you. He can have a bit of a temper." He looks away for a moment.

"I can tell." His eyes snap up to me. "He hasn't done anything, but he does get angry quickly."

"I know you like to stick to yourself, but if anyone has a chance to help Sunny get through whatever he is going through, it's you." He says after a minute of thinking what I said over.

"You're putting a lot on my plate, Sideswipe." I say gently, looking at my feet.

"I know. I know. I'm asking you as a friend. Please." The vulnerability in his voice gets to me.

"I'll see what I can do." I say looking back up to him, giving him a small smile.

"Thank you, Hart." He closes the gap between us and hugs me.

I can't help but hug him back. Maybe this is why I'm still here. To help Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. Maybe my time wasn't up yet and I'm getting a second chance. I've been avoiding any type of relationship in fear of hurting someone or anyone finding out my secret. Sunstreaker may end up finding out, but so far, he hasn't gone telling anyone of our conversations. It might be a risk I need to take.

"I got to go, but thanks again." He says letting go of me.

I give him a nod and watch him open and the door. He vanishes after he passes through the threshold. I still don't know how he was able to do that. I'm not sure if I'm curious enough to find out. I have a feeling this won't be the last time I see him in human form though.

"Can all of them do that?" I ask under my breath, staying where I was.

"Yes, we can." I heard a yell from down the hall.

I ran out the door to see Sideswipe skating away. He spins around, flashes me a wink, then turns back around.

"Super sonic hearing too." I scoff going back to my room.

I lay back on my rack, my mind wondering about the argument with Sunstreaker and the conversation with Sideswipe. Maybe I should have told Sideswipe about it. Yet that would only amount to more questions from him. I don't need that. My book sits left on my desk, looking lonely where I discarded it. Reading doesn't feel like something I could focus on at the moment. I think about how I'm going to have to deal with Sunstreaker. He was furious when he left. Not sure how I'm going to get on his good side.

The hands on the clock move slowly. Each tick ringing loudly in my ears. My shift time can't come fast enough. I need to do something. My thoughts are running wild, and I can't keep them together. I thought about going to find Sunstreaker, but we wouldn't be able to talk freely. My only hope is that he shows up at the cliff again tomorrow. When the time gets closer to 2000, I start putting my uniform on. I get all but my blouse on and then start doing my hair. It doesn't get freed very often. It doesn't even feel real anymore. Putting it up is easy, the strays don't fly away as much anymore. I only have to put one layer of gel on now and it stays put.

Once ready, I head out to the hanger. Others are slowly heading that way. A few with energy drinks in their hands. Last night must have done a number on them. It's not like we don't pull all-nighters from time to time. Though our squad is different from the rest. We use more mental power than physical power. I get to my station and start logging in. I pause for a second as something doesn't feel right. I got so used to a pair of eyes on me, but I don't feel them tonight. I take a look around and I don't see any sight of him. A part of me wonders where he is. Did I really make him that angry? I try not to feel disappointed, but I have gotten used to him being around.

Instead of letting it get to me, I get to work. My screen is up, the camera's on and I stare at my sector. It is what I'll be doing the rest of the night. Not like I'll ever have any other plans. I do have duty coming up in a few days, so I'll have a break from this. Which will be nice. Everyone else is situated at their stations and logging on as well. There is a quiet mummer from a few people having conversations. My squad leader is walking around checking on everyone, making sure they are in the correct sector. Once we all get into a better flow, it will come easier and easier.

After an hour of watching, the feeling comes back. I also hear wheels driving across pavement. He's in the hanger. Probably leaning on the wall across from me. I'm sure his arms are crossed and has a scowl on his face. A small smile spreads on my face. Getting him to talk to me may be easier than I thought. This causes my mind to wonder back to our conversations. He already knows I'm different from every other human. He may not understand or like it if he finds out the actual truth. The fact is, I don't even like the truth.