So August didnt show up. Am i upset ? Nope. What makes you say that ? Ofcourse i'm not upset. I am infuriated!

Breathe Mya...Breathe... maybe.. maybe whatever he was "doing" was extended.

Doesnt mean he cant call!! What are cellphones made for?! Style?! No!! Communication!

I'm sorry i just... wanted to spend quality time with August but instead i get to spend quality time with his sister in law and her kids.

I just made it home thanks to becca. She told me it was 8:30.
It was soo late and i didnt realise that i was suppose to be home around 6 until i heard my dad ask "why are you home so late ?"

"Why are you in my house ?" I answered back. He sighed.

"I keep trying witchu ... what do you want from me Mya?! I'm trying!"

"You know all you've ever done was talk. Talk talk talk what else besides that have you done ?"
Silence.

"How am i suppose to try more when your not even willing to talk to me "

"I hope you know its only because i'm hurt... you made me feel like i was the scum of the earth ..you left and started a whole new life without me...and then what 7 years later your back wooohooo i forgive you ? No. Thats not how it works dad. Put yourself in my shoes .. how would you feel ? Huh ? How would it feel when someone you love so much abandons you and then comes back and wants you to forgive them in a heartbeat ?"
I was breathing heavely after my speech.

Just thinking about how he left me..was making all upset. The pent up anger i had ...i wanted to hate him...but i just cant.

"I'm sorry" he whispered. His voice held emotion in it.

"Then prove it"

I headed up to my room and hopped in my bed. I had no idea what i was gonna do.

God
Do you think my dad loves me ?
Yes

Why would he leave me then ?
Nobody is perfect.

Aah but he still hurt mee...
I knoww..but he's back now ..appreciate what you have atleast he came back.. atleast he is trying some fathers dont come back at all.

Now its too late
Oh you know its never too late... and you know you want to forgive him but its just your pride blocking you from my blessing to come.

Remember you sinned almost everyday and yet i still manage to forgive you ..its because i love you.

In the daily prayer says 'forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us' which means you gotta forgive him in order for me to forgive you.

I know...

Forgiveness is also for yourself.. you know..

some people are miserable because they wont forgive but you Mya you're too beautiful for that .. i cannot bear to see you cry over the same thing i want to bless you but you have to move on and let the past be .. we cant change the past anymore.

Look at the brighter side of things.. you got to know who i am . You trust me . You' encourage other people that they can be better. I'm using you to save others who need help. You have grown into a beautiful young lady. You found August. You've learned alot about independance.

Point taken.

Goodnight...

*Bap* *Bap*
I jump up in fright. What was that ?
Excuse me but i am a serious coward. No joke. Right now i'm thinking about it being a robber..but then why would he knock ?
Robber out.

*bap* *bap*
I curled up in fright . Oh mommy please come save me !! Father god please dont leave me die ...i still have so much to do ..like get married have kids a career -

"Mya ..babe open up" i heard this hoarse voice say. Phew it was August. Nice to see the amount of faith you have in me i could imagine jesus sayin that so i look up and smile cheekily. Luh youu

I feel for my window and opened it. I try to help him in but he hissed and pulled away. "Whats wrong ?" I asked in concerned.

"Nothing i just had to see you before i go home" aaah say sweet stuff to cover it up.

"Bullcow something is wrong" i insisted. "Nah ma"
Okay fine.
"Then hug me because i missed you" i challenged him. I know something is wrong.

"Uh not now ma i'm tired" he hesitated!!!! Seee !!

"Oh so because i'm not pretty enough you dont wanna hug me ? Or is it because i'm blind .. right right its because i'm nothing like them other girls that you li-" he cutt me off by kissing me. Then he hugged me . I feel his jaw was locked. "I dont want you to be like them other girls" he whispered as he caressed my cheeks. "Then tell me whats wrong" i leaned into the palm of his hand and kissed it.

I started to smell blood i smelt something else. But i wasnt gonna go deep in that.

"Are you bleeding August ?!" Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh. I feel him up .. his arm was bleeding.
"No i'm no-"
"Would you stop lying!" Gosh what is up with him and lying.

"Go in my bathroom and look in the top drawer for the first aid kit" i instructed him but yet he had to protest.

"Mya i dont-"
"Would you just go get the thing!" I yelled. Well excuse me for being concerned.

He came back with the stuff. He gave me a cloth with alcohol on it. "Guide me" my voice wavered. There was such a changed atmosphere. He held my hand lightly and he guide my hand up to somewhere close to his eye. So like his eyebrow.

i gently dab the spot where he led me to and he hissed.Baby.
"I'm sorry"
"Its okay i'm fine" he groaned. "No you're not or else you wouldnt be here what happened August ?"

"I told you nothing didnt i ?" I was takin back with his sudden attitude.

"Well excuse me for trying to care i'm tryna be there for you just tell me what's going on ?!" I yelled. He was being hyprocrytical. I tell him whats going when i'm going through something and he asks . Why cant he do the same?

"It aint none of ya bussiness man" he yelled back.

"Oh..ok well fine if it aint none of my bussiness.. you can take your hypocrytical behind out my house since you woke me up late at night for it to be none of my bussiness" i said with a new found attitude.

He sighed and i guess he left. I sighed in dissapointment. I was actually hoping he'd apologize and so we can talk it out make out then he leaves then go sleep.

But things dont always go the way we want it to.

**********
The whole day i haven't spoke to August. I miss him terribly. His comfort and the love that he carries for has me reeling myself back to him. But i cant give in.

"Mya , i am hungry can you hurry up"
I rolled my eyes at her impatience.

"Gosh becca i just took maximum 10 seconds to put my books in my locker."

"10 seconds is a lot, i normally take one just throw em all in i never liked those books anyway"
I chuckled. We still need them though.

"Sorry if i like to keep my locker organized." She mocked me by sayin 'bla bla bla' i chuckled at her stupidity as we both walked to the cafeteria.

We both took our food and headed to our table. "Guess we're the first ones here. Might as well get to the point . Whats going on between you and August?" I shrugged"nothing"

"C'mon you cant fool me .. you havent asked about August the whole mornin .. which is weird since you do it everyday like you sprung" what?

"I am not sprung!!" I am offended. I am not sprung. Head over heels for August ? Boo bye.
I like him alot but head over heels? Noo, pssh.

"Uhmhmm lies if you could only see yourself these days 'oh August bought me flowers oh August took me out oh August and i made out " she mocked me in such a high key.

"And the list goes on.."

"I do not sound like that!" I whined.
"Sure you dont" i dont sound like that do i ??
Nah.

"Squaaaad" Dennis yelled meaning all of them were here. Including August.

"Hey August" becca purposefully said. I swear Rebecca is sooo evil. She just knows what she is doing.

"Hey Becs"he replied. His voice is soo... nope not even.

"Dennyyyy" i cried out like a lil girl. "Hey pretty lady" he came and hug me.

"Wassup ma" August asked me. "I'm cool" i said nonchalantly playin diggin into my food.

The table went silent before Dennis breaks it."soo any of yall watch keeping up with the kardashians ?"