Here i was outside this place i thought i'd never see again. I was at church. Mya was in a vulnerable place when she asked me to come.

I didnt want to tell her no because i wanted to be there for her knowing what all she is going through.

I could see all the people worshipping as i entered. Mya was leading worship today. Her voice seemed extra powerfull today givin me goosebumps.

I could see people watchin me funny and disgustedly. I chose to ignore them though. I was doin this for Mya.

All i need is you lord
Is you lord
All i need is youu (the choir sang)

"Of all the times we had our so called friend turn their back on us god has remained faithfull to us"

All i need is you lord
Is you lord
All i need is youu
"Give god praisee!!"

"Of all the times things went wrong and everyone was gone god was present "

"We dont need nobody but god to survive!"

"God is our everything!"
All i need is you lord
Is you lord
All i need is youu

"He said that when our parents forsake us he will take care of us and i am one to testify of it"

"All we need is him" Mya was crying out. Everyone's hands was up. Everyone wasnt singing anymore. They were doin all kinds of things. They were jumping around crying some on their knees crying. People were declaring things over their lives. Like peace and strength etc.

"He loves me , oh how he loves me oh how he loves me, oh how he loves" Mya's voice was crackin up she was crying out but she didnt care she went along.

"He loves me , oh how he loves me oh how he loves me, oh how he loves"

"Even when we turn our backs on god when ee run back his arms are wide open"

"His love remains the same !! He doesnt change!" My heart was hammering in my chest. I felt the need to cry out but i didnt want to. God has done so much to me. I cant ! I cant ! I cant !

He loves me , oh how he loves me oh how he loves me, oh how he loves"

"Somebody may have called you dumb "
"Or maybe stupid"
"Useless"

"I dont care what you say god loves you ! You have a purpose you have an assignment on your life!"

"God created you for way more!"
"As long as you know god loves you it doesnt matter what they say"

"He loves me , oh how he loves me oh how he loves me, oh how he loves" The musicians stopped and it was just everybody singin. There was such a peace in this room. I felt this feeling in my heart. I was feeling... i dont know.

"God is able to do just what he said he would do" mya started singing by herself before the choir joined her.

"C'mon there's somebody who thinks god cant do it "

"He gonna fullfill every promise to you"

"Dont give up on god cause he wont give up on you, he's able"

I cant do this no mo. Sorry mya. I got up and left. God took away my brother. My life aint no where near good. Jesus wont want me. I'm dirty.

I went in my car and hit the road. I had selling to do.

I remember i left it at home in my secret place. Cant leave my momma find out or she'll kill me.

I pulled up at my house. But what stood on my front door is what put me into shock.

******
Mya's pov

After the service i been asking around for August like a mad woman. I needed him more than ever. I just wanted him to hug me.

"Mya" shanti whined. I made her search the whole church twice. "He's not here c'mon lets go maybe he had something important to do" she pulled me. I felt a bit down that he left but i'm sure he had a good reason for it.

Leading worship today was awesome. I just needed that release. I had let it be free. My heart was heavy since my dad came back. Today i just let go of everything. It feels hella great.

I went home with shanti and my mom. As we stepped in i hear a baby crying. Its either my dad was here or it someone else. But i am strongly sensin that its my dad.

He hasnt shown his face since the little incident. I just came from church jesus , you gone just lay it down on me like that?

Damn.. I mean i love my dad but its so hard to think of how he left me i mean i cant just forgive him right away. I know i will one day but i just need time to adjust to the fact that he's back and that he has a family.

"Hiii Mya" my father said. " hey" i turned and felt for the railing so i could go up to my room.

"Mya ... wait ... i think we both need to talk ...privately" i stood still i wasnt ready for this. Atleast not today.

"I dont really want to talk to you dad or should i say Alexander since i have no clue who you really are but you're not my dad"

"I am still your father do not disrespect me Mya"he yelled. I could tell he was furious.

"Was." That traitor of a tear fell out my eye.

"You was my dad"

"Now young lady that is not the way to talk to you father now i know you are mad-"

"And who are you ? If i may ask" i cut her off.

"I'm his wife Malorie"
"So you're the woman that kept my dad so busy he couldnt call me anymore or check up on me"

"Mya ... please stop" my dad's voice cracked.

"I needed him the most knowing my situation, my dad was the only one that could put me to bed at night the only one i wanted to put me to bed." I felt myself breaking down.

"Do you know how hard it was for me to sleep dad? Knowing that you werent there ?"

"Mya ... enough please.." he was on the verge of tears i could hear it.

"Did you know i slipped into depression daddy ?" I couldnt stand there anymore.

"I'm sorry, please excuse me" i covered my mouth to stop the sob from coming out as i walked upstairs to my room.

As i got in i slid down my door sobbing my eyes out. I felt for my phone.

"Siri please call August"

It rang until it rang out. I tried like 2 times after until i gave up.

"Mya please open the door baby".my dad cried. I covered my mouth again to stop the sob from coming out.

I couldnt face him right now. God help me. God please help me.

"Say anything you want Mya but just please.... please dont hate me ..i beg of you " hearing my dad cry was the worst thing ever. That a everybody thing. You can say you dont like your parents whent their crying and its about you.. its really heartbreaking.

My dad was my first heart break.

*********
I went to school my eyes felt heavy. I felt that heavy weigh on me again.

I had a feeling it was gonna be there for a while. I know having pride isnt the best thing to do but i have feelings as well.

"Hey becca you seen August?" I havent heard from him in like , not even at church cause he wasnt there, so like the last time we talked was the night my dad came over.

"No , strangely i havent seen Dennis around much either" hmm. Whats going on. Maybe he's just sick. But he would normally call me.

August where are you.

"Maybe Pierre would know" i suggested . I mean pierre is apart of their squad. Marcus too but i know he wont spill.

"You're right, maybe he would know lets look for him" she began pulling me along.

"Oh there he is. Pierre!!" She called out for him.
"Hmm. That was strange"

"What happened ??"

"He ran away" huh? Something was definitely going on and I was gonna find out.

"Soo Mya how is you doin ... you look hella tired almost as if you been crying your eyes out" i totally forgot to tell her.

"You have no idea what happened to me."

"What ?"

"My dad came back and he didnt come alone" she was silent so i assume she is takin it all in.

"So how are you Rebecca ?? How are things at home?"

"My-Mya! How can you ask about me in a time like this."she yelled in my ear!

"I'm fine i'm dealing with it.. i care about my friends too you know .. its not always about me just because of my condition"

"Now listen aint nobody say nothing about that you brought that up yourself. I know you care for me Mya but right now your going through alot and i just want to be here for you like you've been there for me" she brushed the hair out my face.

"Thank you" i smiled genuinely ad i hugged her.

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