"Tomorrow our lawyer, Joseph Stanford, is coming by," Emily said.

Lorelai groaned, "Crazy Sissy's dad."

Eleanor looked at Rory.

"That's terrible," Emily said. "Sissy was a good friend of yours."

"Mom, Sissy talked to her stuffed animals and they answered her," replied Lorelai.

"Let's just start a new topic," Rory begged.

Emily replied, "Not possible!.

"She said a new topic, Mom," replied Lorelai.

"Everything's a joke. Everyone's a punch line," Emily stated.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Lorelai replied.

"My daughter – Henny Youngman," Emily said.

Richard walked in, "Sorry for that." He sat down, "A little trouble with our China office. Well. What did I miss?"

"I was being impossible and then I turned into a Jewish comedian," Lorelai told him.

"Ah, well continue," said Richard, taking his glasses off.

"Thank you," Emily said, "Where was I?"

"Some lawyer is coming tomorrow," Eleanor stated.

"Joseph Stanford," Rory told him.

"Yeah, him," replied Eleanor.

"Yes, so Rory, Nell, your grandfather and I thought it might be nice after dinner for you two to go around the house and pick out what you'd like us to leave you both in our wills," Emily told them.

"Take a look at that desk in my office. It's a really fine Georgian piece," Richard said.

Lorelai said, "Why don't I ever bring a tape recorder to these dinners?"

"If you choose to leave me anything, I'll be fine with it," Eleanor told Emily.

"Yeah, anything is fine with me," replied Rory.

"Nonsense, you both should have what you like," Emily said. "So, look around and when you see something you like, stick a post-it on it."

"Okay, you two have officially hit a new level of weird that even I marvel at," Lorelai stated.

"You can pick out things too, you know," Emily told her.

"Oh, well, now its way less creepy," Lorelai replied.

"Did you hear that Richard? Apparently we're creepy," Emily said to her husband.

"Yes, well, live and learn," Richard said.

The maid walked in carrying a tray with bowls on it.

"Oh, cool!" exclaimed Rory.

"What's that?" asked Lorelai.

"Its dessert," replied Emily like it was obvious as the maid started handing out the bowls.

"Its pudding," replied Lorelai.

"Well if you knew what it was, why did you ask?" asked Emily.

"You don't like pudding," Lorelai countered.

"Yes, but you like pudding," Emily said.

"Oh, I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it," Lorelai said.

"I've never had pudding from a crystal bowl before," Rory said.

"Put a post-it note on it to claim it," Eleanor told her.

"I agree with Nell, put a post-it on it when you're done," Emily said.

After dessert and getting a pen and a stack of post-it notes, Eleanor headed into the kitchen, to claim the cook-books and other baking utensils before heading back into the living room. She looked at a few paintings of some generic landscapes, before deciding that Madison and Brad would actually like them. She stuck some post-it notes on the frames. She also looked at a bookcase and decided that she would like to have it. She put a post-it note on it.

In annoyed tone, Rory said, "Really, Nell? You had to get it before I did?"

"You snooze you lose," Eleanor replied. She looked at an ornate side table that she kind of liked and Rory saw it too. Rory ran over and put a post-it note on it. "Hey!"

"You snooze you lose," Rory told her smugly.

"Well played, Rory, well played," Eleanor said.

They made it to the living room and Lorelai motioned to the amphora vase, "So what do we think of this?"

"It's ugly and I wouldn't even hit someone over the head with it if they broke into our home because it'll be cruel," Eleanor stated.

Rory asked, "Where would we even put it?"

"I don't know," replied Lorelai. She joked, "The Emily and Richard Gilmore Psycho Museum?"

"They said to put a post-it on anything that we want," Eleanor pointed out. "I think we can agree that we don't want that."

Emily came into the living room, asking, "So, how's it going?"

"Great, just getting ready for the big day," Lorelai told her.

"Very nice," Emily replied.

"So, um, it's getting late, Mom," Lorelai said. "Unless you've got some funeral plots for us to decorate, we should really be going."

Emily asked, "Any special requests for dinner next week?"

Eleanor thought about it. "I like bruschetta."

Emily nodded, "Okay."

"Mom, I want to talk to you for a minute, and you two, why don't you go say goodbye to Grandpa..." Lorelai told the two teens.

"Very smooth," Rory replied.

"Maybe you can find something in his office that you would want, like that desk he has," Eleanor told her.

They left the room and went to the office.

"Did you find anything you want?" asked Richard.

"Yeah," replied Rory. "We did." She stuck a post-it note on Richard's desk.

Richard chuckled, "Good choice."

"Mom wants us to tell you bye," Eleanor said.

Rory nodded. Richard gave them both a hug and the two girls left.

"So, how would you both like two parties this year?" Lorelai asked them as soon as they got in the car.

"You couldn't get her to cave," Rory pointed out bluntly.

"No, but she did agree to make the string quartet to learn 'Like a Virgin'," Lorelai said.

"I mean, at least you tried," Eleanor said.

"Well, I promise, Saturday night we'll do it up right at home. A Stars Hollow extravaganza," said Lorelai.

Rory asked, "So, is this party Grandma's having going to be a big deal?"

"Not really. The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbra Streisand will give her final concert...again," Lorelai joked.

"Uh-huh," replied Rory.

Lorelai continued, "Now, the Pope has previous plans, but he's trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they're bringing chips."

"You ask a simple question..." Rory started.

"My grandmother is making us have a party on Friday," Eleanor told her friends.

Leslie nodded, "Okay."

"So, my mom is having us celebrate on Saturday," Eleanor replied.

They were taking a break from a cello practice.

Arielle asked, "So, you're getting two birthday parties?"

"Pretty much," Eleanor replied with a shrug. She had a feeling that the one at her grandparents would be mostly Rory-centered. Some part of her hoped that it wasn't.

"Maybe after your party on Friday, you can come to my house," Arielle stated.

Eleanor nodded, "Okay. Sure." Arielle smiled. "So that means I would be getting three parties."

"Lucky you," Brad said. "Some people don't celebrate their birthday, yet you're getting three."

Eleanor grimaced at the thought, "Oh."

"Don't worry about it, Rigby," Arielle told her. "It's just a party with just us; nothing to feel guilty about."

Eleanor nodded.

"I won't be going," Elliot told Eleanor.

Eleanor turned to look at him.

Sure after their...bonding moment in the car, Eleanor guessed they were on somewhat better terms than when they started out with, but Eleanor wouldn't exactly call him a friend.

Eleanor asked, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Yours and Rory's birthday party," Elliot stated.

Eleanor was confused. How did he know about her birthday? She didn't tell him when it was. "How do you know that?"

Elliot held up a white card, "It says that at four-thirty-three in the morning, you, Eleanor Hayden was born, while your sister was born at four-o-three."

Eleanor cringed at the mention of her middle name and took the invite from Elliot. She looked at it in horror.

Elliot asked, "How did your parents go from Eleanor to Hayden?"

"Hayden is my dad's last name," Eleanor said. "He's not in the picture. Well, he calls once every week and visits once a year. Who else got one of these?"

"I think everyone in our class got one," Elliot said. "Fiona showed me that she had one too. But I still won't go to it."

"Oh, no, how will I ever live with myself?" Eleanor replied sarcastically, closing her locker and going to Rory's locker. She shoved Dugray out of her way using her elbow.

"Look at this crap," Eleanor said, shoving the invitation in Rory's face.

Dugray said something, but Eleanor ignored him.

Rory took the invitation and looked at it in horror. "Do you know who else got these?"

"Elliot thinks that our entire class got one, since Fiona also got one," Eleanor said.

They walked down the hall.

"That's them," Louise said.

Another girl said, "My parents are making me go."

"Another obligation party," Louise said.

"My life stinks," the other girl said.

Eleanor snapped, "How about this? You're both uninvited. Does your life suck now?"

The bell rang and Eleanor broke off to go into another classroom. Of course, uninviting the girls was probably what they would've wanted, but it would've been so much more embarrassing getting uninvited in front of the student body.

After school, Eleanor and Rory went to Luke's. Rory kept her head down as they walked inside the diner.

"Wow," Lorelai said. "Nice face you got on there."

"Coffee," Rory replied.

Lorelai asked, "Bad day?"

"I've now used the word 'sucks' so much that it's lost all meaning to Nell and me," Rory replied.

"That's true," Eleanor said. "It's not a word to me though. It sounds made up."

"Well, maybe this will cheer you two up," Lorelai said, going to unzip a garment bag she was holding.

Rory asked, "What?"

"You'll see," Lorelai said trying to sound mysterious. She took out some black tulle.

Eleanor said, "Christ, what the hell is that thing?"

"These are our party dresses," Lorelai said.

Rory asked, "So, it's a Halloween party?"

Eleanor asked, "Are we going as witches?"

"Listen, you two," Lorelai said. "So I'm shopping today with your grandmother and it's a whole three hours of 'who are you buying that for, Mom? Have you met Rory and Nell'? and then finally I talked and she listened and she wound up getting you two something I think you're really going to like."

Rory asked, "Really?"

Eleanor asked, "You didn't feel the need to stab her in the eye with the heel on one of her high-heels?"

"Yes, really," Lorelai said. "And of course she insisted on buying us these dresses but I think I can do something with them to make them better."

"Wow," Rory said. "I've never seen you so cheery after spending time with Grandma."

"Don't jinx it," Eleanor said.

"Well, it's been a long time since we got together and didn't end up fighting. It was refreshing. It wasn't exactly fun but I didn't get that shooting pain in my eye like I usually do," Lorelai said.

"Wow, that's great," Rory said. There was no way that Rory was going to tell their mother about the invites to Chilton.

"Yeah," Lorelai replied.

Luke brought a tray with mugs of coffee to them. He set them down, "So, I hear you two are having a party Saturday."

"Yeah," Rory said.

"Mom is well-known for them," Eleanor said, taking a mug of coffee.

"The best one was their eighth birthday," Lorelai stated.

"Oh, yeah, that was good," Rory said.

"The cops had shown up to shut it down," Eleanor told Luke.

Luke asked, "The cops shut down two eight-year-olds' birthday party?"

"And arrested the clown," Rory said.

"I lost three teeth after I bit him because he started fighting the guy in the horse costume," Eleanor told him.

"I don't want to hear any more of this," Luke replied before walking away.

Lorelai asked, "So, now tell me, Rory, why Miss Lemonhead today?"

"Nothing," Rory replied. "I-I'm fine. I just got an A- on a French test that I should have gotten an A on."

That was a bit of a lie, Eleanor realized.

Lorelai said, "Oh, honey, an A- is awesome."

"Yeah, its – its fine," Rory replied.

"Let me see," Lorelai said, taking the tulle out. "Maybe we should really embrace the whole tulle thing. Go totally modern Cinderella. What do you both think? It's your birthday."

"Yeah, lucky us," Rory replied.

"She invited the entire class," Eleanor told Brad, Arielle, and Madison as they walked to Luke's Diner together. She needed caffeine because her mother and Rory had come into her room for Lorelai's ritual of recounting the story of their birth right at the time of birth too. So, Eleanor needed some coffee to get through the day.

Brad asked, "Should I be offended that she didn't invite me?"

"If they saw you, they'll have a heart attack," Madison told him.

"Fantastic," Brad stated.

Eleanor rolled her eyes at him, "I'd rather not have them die, thank you."

Brad said, "I was being sarcastic, o' dense one."

Eleanor replied, "Thanks for that, Captain Obvious."

"You're welcome, Sergeant Smartass," Brad retorted.

"How original of you, Doctor Dickhead," Eleanor countered.

Brad replied, "You love me that much—?"

"That's enough out of you two," Arielle interrupted.

Madison told Arielle, "I wanted to hear what he was going to say."

"I was going to call her Comrade Comeback," Brad told her.

Eleanor glowered at that, "Damn, I don't have a comeback for that one."

Brad grinned victoriously as they walked in the diner. They went to the counter and Luke said, "Hey, wrong table."

Arielle asked, "Wrong table?"

Eleanor asked, "You have a seating chart now?"

"Since the table that Leslie and I set up for Nell is right over there," Luke said, pointing to a table that had a table cloth covering it. There were six balloons tied down, and a plate with tiramisu on the table.

Eleanor said, "That's so sweet that you helped set it up."

"I'll give you three seconds before I'm tossing it all away," Luke warned.

Eleanor and her friends moved to the table, even though Leslie was the one who set it up. It looked like there was another table that had balloons and a coffee cake on it, which had to be Rory's.

Eleanor felt a bit bad because Rory's table wasn't quite as decorated as Eleanor's table was.

After school had ended, Lorelai had to pack up Eleanor and Rory to go back to Hartford, with the garment bags. Lorelai had adjusted hers and Rory's dresses, but according to Lorelai, she didn't need to alter Eleanor's dress.

Lorelai rang the doorbell and a maid let them in. She led them to the library and said, "Jeez, Mom. Leave some servants for the rest of the neighborhood."

"There they are – the birthday girls," Emily stated.

Rory said, "Hi, Grandma."

Lorelai said, "Wow. You really went all out, huh?"

Emily replied, "Well, I wanted everything to be perfect. What do you think?"

"I think Edith Wharton would have been proud." Lorelai added, "and busy taking notes." She handed garment bag to Eleanor and another to Rory, "Here, go change."

Eleanor took the garment bag and went to change.

There was a black knee-length dress in the garment bag and some black wedges to go with it.

After she got dressed, she left the bathroom.

The party was mostly lame, except that it was the adults' portion apparently. Rory messed with her shoe while Eleanor tried to imagine what her friends were up to.

Lorelai came over to them, holding three drinks. She sat in between them, and handed them each a drink, "Here."

Eleanor took her drink, "What are you giving us?"

"Shirley Temples," Lorelai replied.

Eleanor took a sip and grimaced at the sweetness.

Rory asked, "What are you drinking?"

"A Shirley Temple Black," Lorelai stated.

Eleanor asked, "What's that?" Lorelai held it out for Eleanor to sniff. She recoiled at the smell of alcohol, "Whoa."

"Wow," Rory replied, after sniffing Lorelai's Shirley Temple Black.

"I got your Good Ship Lollipop right here, mister," Lorelai stated. "So do you two want something to eat?"

"I had like ten of those caprese skewers, three of those caprese pesto tarts, three of those smoked salmon and cucumber appetizers things, two slices of lobster quiche, and some bruschetta," Eleanor said. "I'm good."

"I was going to take one of whatever Nell got, but everything smelt funny," Rory stated.

Eleanor didn't think that was a good reason to avoid trying something new, but whatever.

Emily came up to them, "There you two are. Come, there's some people I want you to meet." She took Rory and walked away, leaving Eleanor to follow them, a little baffled at how Emily didn't wait for her.

Emily led them to Richard and some of his business associates.

"I heard three," a man said.

Happily, Rory greeted, "Hi, Grandpa."

"Hi, Grandpa," Eleanor said.

"Rory, Nell," Richard said. "Gentlemen, these are my twin granddaughters, Rory and Nell."

"Happy birthday, Rory and Nell," Richard's business associate said.

Richard's business associates handed the two girls envelopes.

"Thanks," Eleanor said, surprised.

"I think we should get Dennis on the phone right now," the man continued.

"Fine," Richard replied. "I've got a phone in my office."

"Rory, Nell, excuse me," a different man said to them, as they walked away

Eleanor checked her envelope to see if it was a card or a check.

Emily came up and grabbed onto Rory, "Rory, there's a whole group of your school friends in the library. Let's go say hello to them."

Emily started rushing Rory to the library.

What was up with the obvious favoritism? Eleanor wondered as she followed after the two to the library.

They went to the library where some kids from Chilton were standing around looking bored.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Rory lied.

"Just say hello first," Emily said. "Come on." She took the envelopes from them, "I'll hold those for you." She gently pushed them in.

Eleanor recognized a guy named Henry that she sometimes talked to before they went into their math class together. She even spotted Fiona and...Elliot.

"Oh, god," Eleanor muttered. Why did he bother to show up when he said he wasn't going to come to this stupid party?

A guy asked his friend, "It's their party right? Tits Gilmore and her sister?"

"Yup," the other guy replied.

Rory glared at them and made to head their way, probably to tell them off, but stopped when she noticed something, "Paris?"

"My parents made me come," Paris stated.

Rory said, "Oh, god!"

"Otherwise I wouldn't be here," Paris added. "You believe me, don't you?"

Eleanor went to go see why Elliot was there but Dugray came into eyesight.

"Jesus Christ, this day just got a hell of a lot worse," Eleanor muttered.

Dugray asked, "Coming to greet me?"

"You're never going to see me naked, get over it," Eleanor replied.

"Come on," Dugray said. "I gotta tell you something...I'm madly in love with you."

"You're in love with my boobs," Eleanor replied.

"I can't eat, I can't sleep...I wake up in the middle of the night calling your name. Eleanor, Eleanor," Dugray said.

Eleanor was disgusted, "Gross. Keep your wet dreams to yourself."

Fiona thankfully came up to her and grabbed Eleanor's arm.

"You should smile more Fi," Dugray told her.

"You should drop dead," Fiona replied and took Eleanor to go talk to the Chilton kids.

After a few minutes of that, Eleanor managed to get away from Fiona, to go to the bathroom.

She wasn't entirely sure why she was starting to feel like crap. Maybe it was because Emily completely ignored her and the fact that her new nickname at school was Tits Gilmore. Maybe it was from stress, from tennis, to cello practice, to orchestra, to the crazy amount of catching up she had to do so she didn't flunk out of Chilton, and to the ghastly amount of homework she had to do. She preferred stress crying than crying from being ignored.

She felt like she was going to cry. She looked up to force back the tears. She wasn't going to cry on her birthday. She washed her face, reapplied her eyeliner and lip gloss and opened the door. She was surprised to find Elliot there. She moved out of the way, "Oh, sorry." She made to move down the hallway.

"I hate birthday parties too," Elliot told her.

Eleanor was curious, "Why?"

Elliot seemed to hesitate, "There was this incident when I was eight...I just hate birthday parties. I'm usually forced to go to them when I don't want to."

That was a bit weird. It seemed like he wanted to say something more, but didn't. Besides, it wasn't any of her business anyway.

"Here," Elliot said, handing Eleanor a box that she knew probably contained a bracelet in it.

"Thanks," Eleanor replied, opening it. It had a charm bracelet it that had charms on it for the fall season.

Elliot took the charm bracelet and put it on Eleanor's wrist. He had a strange look on his face as he did so. It was like he was at peace. "My sister got this charm bracelet for you."

Eleanor was even more confused and replied, "Okay?"

Elliot went to the bathroom, so Eleanor went back to the library.

Emily intercepted her, "Hey, Nell, you need to give the speech to the guests in the library."

Eleanor was stunned, "Speech?"

"Just thank them for coming and how you feel about another being another year older," Emily told her.

Eleanor really didn't want to, but she might as well do it, "Fine."

Emily led her to the library, so she can give a speech.

Eleanor gave a brief speech, which she was embarrassed over, and felt near tears, before she went to get something to drink.

Fiona came over to her, "Nice speech." She nodded, "Very rushed."

"I hate public speaking," Eleanor replied. It was funny how she can sit on a stage and play the cello in front of hundreds of people, but talking to like thirty people caused her to get nervous.

Fiona looked at the charm bracelet, "I'm surprised that you're wearing the charm bracelet my brother got you."

Eleanor was confused, "He told me you got it for me."

"No. I got you the books. He always gets his crushes charm bracelets," Fiona said. "He even got that idiot Tony one."

Tony? That annoying guy who always asks her if she knew how to play Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica? Elliot had a crush on that guy?

Wait. Crush?

"He doesn't have a crush on me," Eleanor said.

"That charm bracelet says otherwise," Fiona said. "And he doesn't shut up about you. He complains a lot about you, but he's still talking about you."

Eleanor was confused, "Why would he have a crush on me? That's stupid."

"He just does," Fiona replied with a shrug.

Eleanor went to Brad's home since his parents were out of town for some church function, where her friends had a party set up for her.

They watched some horror movies and ate cakes and cupcakes together. Madison had a bottle of rose wine that she snagged from her parents' wine cellar.

It was a lot better than the party from Hartford.

And when Arielle, Leslie, and Madison took off to go home, Eleanor stayed behind to help Brad clean up.

"I overheard some guys talking about sex and how one just had sex and can't stop thinking about when he's going to have it again. The other said he broke up with his girlfriend because that's all she wants. And I'm standing there wondering what's so great about it," Brad told her. "And Maddy was willing to go to Hartford just to bang a guy she barely knew."

Eleanor shrugged, considering that they were the only two in the group who were still virgins.

Arielle had lost hers at a party with some girl, Leslie did it at the Dragonfly Inn with a guy, and Madison lost hers at a summer camp last year in the shed where they stored canoes.

"I mean, I want to at some point, but I'd rather not sleep with a guy who's going to turn out to be a creep," Eleanor said. "I want the person to be special to me."

"Yeah, I just want to do it and get it over with. At least with someone who won't talk shit about me when I don't do it right," Brad said.

Eleanor looked at him. He wasn't a bad looking guy. He was kind of nice to look at – pleasant even. He was her best friend and she wouldn't mock him over it.

Brad looked at her, maybe realizing what she was thinking. He said, "You don't have to do this."

"I want to do this," Eleanor told him.

"Okay, okay," Brad said. He seemed worried, "Tell me to stop and I'll stop."

Eleanor nodded, "Okay."

They went upstairs together.

And Eleanor regretted nothing. She felt like it brought her and Brad closer together.

The first thing Eleanor did when she got home was tell Lorelai. Well, not exactly. Rory took off to the college fair, promising to bring Eleanor back a Yale brochure because Eleanor wasn't going since she had a cello thing to do. Sookie had made her some pancakes with some vanilla filling so she can eat and mock Lorelai while she decorated.

"I slept with Brad last night," Eleanor said.

Lorelai looked at her, "What?"

"I had sex with Brad last night," Eleanor repeated. "I don't regret it and I won't make you make me feel bad."

Lorelai looked unsettled, "All right."

"I mean, it's better him than someone who will turn out to be a creep," Eleanor told her.

Lorelai asked, "But to a guy who says he's dating himself?"

Eleanor rolled her eyes, "Better him than a guy who only used me just to see my boobs."

Lorelai nodded, "True. Now go take a shower while I set up for yours and Rory's party."

Eleanor went to go do that.

The party at home wasn't as fun as the one at Brad's house. However, it was still miles better than the Hartford party. There were far too many adults here. The only teens there were Lane, Brad, Arielle, Leslie, and Madison. Eleanor and Rory didn't count since they lived there and were expected to attend their own birthday party.

Rory had gotten an iBook while Eleanor got a Nokia cell phone since she had to travel and to use if she came back early and needed a ride.

It was strange when Richard and Emily showed up, but Rory was happy, since Rory kind of blew up at Emily about the Hartford party.

So, Eleanor forced a smile and went to her grandparents so she can introduce them to her friends.