6 months later🫶🏾.

jackie💕.

"wooo" syd yelled as we walked into the locker room making me laugh and shake my head.

"yall i need a wife bro" tip whined.

"she will come when the time is right" a'ja said.

"and when is that ?? tete getting old im 35" tip said back.

"that's not old. and besides it's never to late to marry your person" i said.

"at least you didn't waste your time on a marriage" kp said making us look at her.

i have no idea why this girl has such dark humor abt ts at all but it will forever make me laugh cus girl come on now.

"kp please" kiah said snickering.

"kp you good tho ??" ac asked.

"yeah why ?" kp asked.

"because you told everyone you decided not to play in unrivaled to take time for yourself at the last minute" she said.

"yeah i just really wanna make sure my mental good before next szn. because unbeknownst to everyone i was depressed asf this szn" she admitted.

"aww, we didn't even know you always had a smile" kate said.

"exactly. that's one thing i learned about mental health is some folks can hide ts like it's normal. especially learning from lyssa she's sad as h*ll almost everyday but she'll never show that" i said.

"that's why they say you never know what people are going through" megan said and i nodded.

"well we're here for you if you ever need us" chelsea said.

"thank you guys" she smiled.

"so wtm ?? yall know expansion draft is friday i wanna spend as much time with yall as possible before" syd said.

"idm we can do a team bonding at my house" i said and they all agreed.

"i can't believe 6 of us gone be gone" kb said.

"right ??" kate said.

"twin you good ?" kb asked nalyssa who quietly scrolled on her phone.

"mhm" was all she said.

"nalyssa. you been on this team long enough for us to know you like the back of our hand. spill it" tip said.

"im good guys i promise" she said.

"okay well let's go we're gonna go eat" kb said pulling her up.

"owww" she hissed snatching her hands from her.

"my bad twin" kb said.

"it's fine" she said pulling her jacket over her wrists.

"nalyssa. ik tf you did not" i said walking towards her.

"omg" kate whispered.

"it's fine jack, it was just a little aggressive that's all" she said.

"okay lemme see" i said.

"no i said im fine" she argued.

"then why won't you pull up your sleeves ??" i asked crossing my arms over my chest.

"cus there's nothing wrong again it was just aggressive".

"nalyssa. ionk why you think im dumb but i know for a fact no little a** pull wouldn't hurt you like that" i said.

"just let us see" chelsea said.

"no bro im good".

"nalyssa let me see yo d*** wrists" i said pulling up her sleeves where i saw recent cut wombs running across both of her wrists.

"omg" kiah said.

"nalyssa did you ??" a'ja trailed off .

"baby.. why would you do this to yourself ?" i asked holding back tears.

"because im hurting. and i wanted the mental pain to stop so i thought this would help it" she said.

"lyss sh is not the answer to anything baby girl. no matter how you feel yo skin to beautiful for you be cutting it" kp said.

"right, if your mental health was declining why didn't you come to us ?" chelsea asked .

"i be so in my head and no one understands" she whispered.

"but we can still listen to yo problems and help you boo. you did not have to go down this route" tip said.

"your skin is not paper so don't cut it. it's so beautiful" ac said.

"life is life-ing and i didn't know what else to do" nalyssa responded.

"call my phone baby. you got my number yk where i live. all you had to do was come talk to me yk i would've been there" i said holding her hands.

"ts is deep. like deep cuts you should get that wrapped" a'ja said.

"d*** it baby this is not the answer. at all to ANY of your problems i promise you. yes life is hard asf but this will never solve your problems" i said.

"we gotta tell becky" syd mumbled.

"no don't.. if she find out she'll pull me from basketball and that's the only thing keeping me sane right now" nalyssa said quickly.

"okay but she deserves to know what her players are going through and what's going on with them" kb said.

"we gotta wrap ts baby. you cut deep asf and it's still bleeding a little" i said.

nalyssa🐐.

"here you go" she said handing me some hot tea.

"thank you" i mumbled and she nodded.

"we need to talk baby" she said & i looked over at her.

"yeah ik idk what i was thinking" i said.

"mama you had so many options to help you. and you chose one of the most dangerous ones. you have me and you have 11 other teammates you could've called for help".

"you have 2 parents and a sister. you have my parents and kiare & you have kelsey. what on God's good earth made you think this was the answer ?" she asked.

"idk.. i felt so alone and so trapped. no one understands and i was hurting so bad i thought it would help with the mental pain" i said.

"and crying always made me feel weak i didn't want nb to see me like that" i whispered.

"baby i've seen you cry.. a million times. i have you seen p*ssed off, sad, happy all of it."

"not only did this man take yo innocence but he took yo love for life, happiness, dignity you name but you got through ts and you still can" jackie said.

"yeah" i mumbled.

"when did you do it ?" she asked.

"yesterday night" i mumbled.

"and you used a razor ?" she asked.

"no i used a box cutter." i said looking at my feet.

"nalyssa. using a razor is normal but using a d*** box cutter ?? tf is wrong like genuinely. you was trying to off yo self baby ?? cus why tf would you do that sh** ?" she asked & i could feel the tears welling in my eyes.

"idk okay. im hurting and idk what else to do. im sorry bro" i said getting up. i wiped my tears and walked toward my room.

"okay baby i'm sorry. i didn't meant to yell or make you feel bad about it. you're hurting i understand that my love but i want you to understand that there's better ways to deal with stuff like this" she said rubbing my back lightly.

"no tears mama. you're okay. i just don't want you thinking this is okay cus it's not. you're so beautiful and so is your skin so don't ruin it" jackie said.

i wiped my tears and yawned and she lightly rubbed my face.

"okay come on, you need sleep" she said leading me to my room. we got into bed and my phone vibrated making me pick it up.

twinn🤞🏾: lyss you good ?? you want me to come over ?

twin flame🖤: yeah, jack is here just about to take a nap.. imma text you after tho. thank you for checking on me.

twinn🤞🏾: ofc.. i hope you sleep well. 🫶🏾

twin flame🖤: preciate it 🤞🏾.

i set my phone down and jack scrolled through netflix to find something to watch. i could see blood drops trailing to the bathroom.

"mama ?" jackie said breaking the comfortable silence.

"hmm ?" i responded.

"you gotta talk to yo counselor boo."

"im not crazy jackie" i said.

"i never said you were baby what ?? but you still need to talk to her. you hurt yourself nalyssa. to the point where you really could've killed yoself those cuts deep asf and you lost a lot of blood" jackie told me.

"it's normal in mental health illness and im just going through it right now but i will be okay" i said.

"baby. ts is not normal and using a box cutter show as h*ll ain't normal. yes i understand that your mental health is declining and i do believe you gone get better but still" she argued.

"how bad do they hurt ??" she asked.

"not much, the mental pain hurt more i didn't even feel it when i did it" i said.

"my poor baby" she whispered.

"well yk you're not alone right ?? you never will be. you have so many people that love you and that are here for you" she said.

"yeah i know" i said.

"nalyssa. we been together for almost a year why didn't you come to me and tell me you were hurting. you didn't have to do this baby" she said gently grabbing my arms.

"idk i thought i was getting better and ts just keep haunting me" i said exhaling.

"no don't cry boo you gone be good mama. healing is difficult and so weird. one day you're okay and the next day you're not and that's okay." she said wiping mg face.

"we don't expect you to pretend like you're okay lyss. i want you to express how you feel to me when you feel it so i can help you and be here for you" she said.

"i promise. i'm sorry i didn't ask for help" i mumbled into her chest.

"you're fine love. but i do want you to know that you can ask me for help anytime." she said rubbing my neck.

"i love you" i mumbled.

"i love you more boo.. gts you need it" she whispered kissing my forehead.

the healing process is exhausting asf & i hope that the team don't tell becky cus she gone pull me from basketball and that's the only thing that's keeping me sane right now.

chapter 31🥳! vote and comment💕!