Hey, yes, I'm still alive. Barely, after four months of mental torture thanks to exams and all that shizz. Argh, guys, I really wish I could give this story more dedication than I do but whenever I'm gone, please give me the benefit of the doubt and know that I'll be back, okay?

"You could break my heart in two
But when it heals, it beats for you
I know it's forward, but it's true

I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to
When I'm lying close to someone else
You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it."

-Back to you, Selena Gomez

Chapter 15

"You know, I've been thinking."

"Ouch, did that hurt?"

She narrowed her eyes at me before a chuckle escaped her.

"You're a bitch."

"Amen."

I watched Arya as she chewed her food but she seemed lost in her thoughts again.

"Arya?"

"Yea?"

"What were you thinking about?"

"You."

"Arya, this is hard to say but I don't really swing that way, you know."

She threw a French fry at me as I laughed.

"If I did, you would be my first choice."

"I wish I did swing that way though, life would be easier."

"I feel ya."

"But I was just thinking about you and your Soham."

I choked.

"He's not mine. I told you the entire story."

"Your Soham, he's dumb."

I laughed.

"And how exactly did you draw this conclusion?"

"Because he's got a gorgeous girl like you, who loves him so much—"

"I don't love him anymore—"

"Yeah, right, and the sky isn't the beautiful colour of blue—"

"Its kind of green, don't you think—"

"The colour that you are when you see Soham with his Sarah?"

The bitch had the audacity to smirk at me right after.

"Whatever," I mumbled, rolling my eyes.

"I know we've just met and all and I've no right to judge your life or anything but again its the quality of the friendship and not the quantity that matters, right?"

"Where are you heading with this?"

"I want Soham to ditch that girl and be with you."

I sighed.

"Don't pretend like you don't want it."

"Remember Ethan?

"Yeah yeah."

"We're dating, you know."

"Yeah yeah."

"I'm leaving. Bye," I said, as I got up.

"Come on, Jennifer, why not?"

"Why not? Because I've had it with that guy. I'm sorry Arya but I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Okay, okay I'm sorry."

~*~

"Hi, how was college?"

I skidded to a stop as I stared at my mother. Did she just--?

Warmth spread in my chest as I gazed at her.

"It was good. Like we were shown all these textures today—"

"Is that a pimple on your face?"

"What?"

"On your cheek, why don't you apply some cream—"

"I will. So anyways, the professor was like—"

"Have you gained weight?"

"Mom!"

"You have, haven't you?"

I grabbed my bag and rushed to my room, tears threatening to spill.

What the fuck is wrong with her?

I shut the door and collapsed on the floor and thats how Soham found me when he came to my room looking for something.

Jeez, does this guy have some sort of radar that he magically appears every time I'm at my worst or maybe he is so used to making me feel like the worst that if I'm feeling like shit because of something else, his very existence seems meaningless.

Yup, thats my theory.

He shut the door behind him and laid down next to me.

"You really seem to love floors."

"What do you want?"

"Jeremy said that you had the car keys."

"They are on my table."

He faced me and rested his head on his palm while I continued staring at my ceiling.

"I heard it," he mumbled under his breath.

Great, fucking great.

There was silence between us which was turning deafening and maybe that's why I started speaking.

"She does it all the fucking time. I was so happy that she wanted to know what's going on in my life for once but then she starts picking on all my insecurities like they are some lint on her overpriced clothes like what the fuck. I'm so done, Soham, like I can't—"

"I've always envied you."

"and then—" I stopped my rant to look at him. He was staring at me with an intensity I've only associated with him.

"What?" I whispered.

He faced away from me and looked at the ceiling as I stared at his side profile.

He's so gorgeous, damn.

"You just did what you wanted to. You never gave a fuck about what the world thought. You never cared about their rules—"

"Got me suspended," I snickered.

"Yeah but that's just you. I always thought you as brave. Stubborn piece of ass too but mostly brave to go against the world. Now, I can never do that you see. You're right, I don't want to do engineering, its just not my thing but I have this urge to please everyone especially my parents that I just couldn't go against them. I regret it so much, now, Jen but like I'm just hoping that this cricket team works for the best. Next match, I've invited my parents. They said that they'll be there. I'm planning on telling them then that I don't want to continue with engineering."

I gaped at him. I knew that it was a big thing for him to do that. Instinctively, I placed my hand on his.

"It will work out for the best, Soham, I know it will."

He turned to me and smiled.

"All I want to tell you is that no one should make you feel lesser than what you're Jennifer, in my case, it was a course and in your case—"

"It's my mom, I know but she affects me so much—"

"I understand, she is your mother, after all, but jeez, you're so amazing."

I narrowed my eyes at him but he wasn't meeting my gaze. His stare fixed at the ceiling.

"I would kill for someone like you to love," he whispered.

My heart rate soared and my tummy flipped. I wasn't sure I heard him right.

"What?"

"Just to be able to talk to a mind like yours every now and then with exclusivity would be fucking brilliant."

I swallowed, "Soham—"

"I have to go, where are the keys again?"

I watched him get up and grab the keys from my desk.

I couldn't move even after he closed the door.

What the fuck?

What the actual fuck did he mean?

~*~

(Notice valid till 15th August, 2020: Hi, help me out?

I have participated in a contest which requires maximum likes to win, so please hit the like button in the link on my message board (will take two seconds, you dont even have to watch it) and share it with as many people as you can and ask them to hit the like button too, its super important for me, so thank you so much in advance and hope you have or had a great day xo)

What did he mean jsbdniqubfiwebgi

Hahahahahaha

Very important author's note tho:

Guys, I love love love writing but its not my life.

Id like to thank all those who are patient and know my busy schedule and UNDERSTAND but this is for those who don't.

Guys, writing is my choice, I didn't force any of yall to come on this journey with me but I'm very thankful of those who are in this.

I'm a full time medical student and its NOT EASY.

I need my break time and socializing time and personal life. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm ignoring messages but i really really don't get the time, I still try okay and I'm human okay?

I have my bouts of anxiety and depression and I don't want people sending me messages which act like triggers.

Like seriously, I've got messages which are like commands with really ugly choice of words. Such message will be blocked immediately because it just becomes too much.

Until next time, ciao

Love you xo

Also, next update would be something you guys have been looking forward since forever haha