That night, I could barely sleep. Nightmares plagued me. I was in a white room. I saw nothing but an endless white. When I ran, my footsteps echoed, my pants echoed with them. I heard voices, but  I couldn't make out what they said. They sounded more like a distorted screaming, hurting in my ears. Whenever I tried to run away from them, they stopped, but when I stood still, trying to catch my breath, they just came back.

I woke up with a gasp, sweating. It's been almost a year since I've had the same recurring dream. I didn't know why I was dreaming that, I didn't know what could've caused it nor what it meant. It just somehow terrified me.

I let out a sigh and looked at the clock on the nightstand. It was 5 in the morning. I decided to just get up and take a shower, I knew I couldn't fall back asleep anyways. I got out of bed and pulled away the curtains, it had still been dark outside since it was late autumn. From my room, all I could see was a forest. Nothing else. A few street lights shined into the dark woods, revealing a deer that was seemingly looking for food.

I rested my arms on the windowsill and looked at the deer. I often wondered what being free was. Ever since I was born, I was either locked away or out under command. I was barely able to make major decisions on my own, I wasn't even allowed to take a walk when I was still in Russia. I figured that it was probably for their and my own good.

Suddenly, the deer seemed to be scared of something and dashed back into the dark forest. Probably another animal looking for prey or something. I got back up and went to take a shower in the bathroom that was connected to my room. All I had was a room with a bed, a closet, a table and two chairs. I managed to get myself a mini fridge and a coffee machine at least. I also always locked both of my doors. I didn't trust people enough at that place.

I hated showering there. The water took ages to get warm, so I took ice cold showers most of the time so I wasted no water. To my surprise, it got warm quick, probably since I was the first one awake.

For the first time in a while, showering felt refreshing. I felt sort of better after I had gotten out and wrapped myself in a towel. I decided not to blow dry my hair, it's better anyway and I still had a lot of time until I had to go out. Until then, it should've been dry.

I unlocked the door of my bathroom and went back to my room, freezing in shock when I suddenly saw someone sitting at my table, peacefully sipping some coffee. "Up early, huh?" he asked, smiling at me. "How did you-" I wanted to ask but of course he didn't let me finish. "Spatial jumps." he replied. "Ah, yes... I forgot." I quietly said, holding the towel tight to make sure it doesn't slip away.

"Would you mind getting out so I can uh... put something on..?" I asked, not even trying to understand why he was there. "If I was standing in the hallway, I'd get into serious trouble. I can turn around." he offered as he turned towards the window. I was slightly embarrassed, but in the end I figured that we're all just human after all, so what's the issue?

"Well there's actually a lot of issues." I thought to myself as I kept on checking if he's still facing away. "I am not looking, stop turning around." He sounded quite stern. "How do you know I'm turning around then?!" I asked with an angry tone. He just laughed in response, still looking out the window. "Keep your eyes to yourself, mister!" I shouted, throwing my towel onto his head and quickly slipping into a slightly oversized shirt. I was too confused and lazy to be searching for something else at that moment.

"This will do for now." I sighed and sat down on my bed, facing him. I reached over the end of the bed to see that he had actually made a whole pot of coffee. I took a mug and poured myself some of it. "What are you here for? Can't even wait till noon to see me?" I asked with a smirk. "No. I*'m here to pick you up." Five responded, finally turning his head towards me. "I already know your decision." he added.

I looked down. "I haven't even made a decision." I thought, actually not sure what to tell him. "You're safe with us, Pente. If you stay here and keep on working for the commission, you'll be dead in no time." Five tried to convince me. It actually felt like a trap. I looked at him warily, it all seemed way too fishy. "I was raised by the people I work for. I can't just betray them." I tried to keep my voice down, but I was actually quite angry. "But you're one of us!" Five shouted, standing up to step in front of me.

"I get that you feel connected to them, they gave you shelter and all, but would you really prefer this shithole over a loving family?!" he asked, his glare felt discomforting. "You're not my family. I have no family." I felt tears burning in my eyes, so I looked down. I couldn't cry now. I'm not weak.

"We can be your family if only you let us. We're not trying to harm you, this is genuine!" Five really didn't seem like he was lying, but I had no reason to trust him. "Get out." I quietly said, hoping he wouldn't hear that I was about to cry. He didn't move, so I looked up despite trying not to show him my vulnerable side. "I said leave!" I shouted, probably loud enough for my next door neighbour to hear. "Not without you." Five declined, quickly stepping towards my closet and grabbing my clothes harshly, stuffing them in my bag.

I got up from the bed and wanted to stop him, but I suddenly realized that he wouldn't be doing this if it was a trap. He seemed frustrated to see me decline. Five sounded way too honest, so I was certain he was serious. I walked towards him and grabbed his arm gently to make him stop. "It's okay, I can pack it myself." I gently said. He turned his head and looked at me.

I wasn't sure if I was just still tired or if my sight was playing with me, but I was sure I saw tears in his eyes the second he turned around. He quickly walked past me and sat back down, looking out the window. "Fine then." he quietly said, finishing the rest of his coffee. I could hear some sort of sadness in his voice, but I decided not to question it.