Taraji's P.O.V.

Giggles fell from my lips as Gina playfully threw a piece of chocolate-drizzled popcorn at me. I threw one back and she caught it in her mouth, making me laugh harder along with everybody else. I decided to host a movie night with the girls since I haven't seen them since the Aspen trip. I just want to be surrounded by people that actually care about me and value my happiness. I thought that Gabrielle was one of those people, but she showed me just how wrong I was when I caught her with Kelvin. The vibe between the four of us was so much lighter and carefree without Gabrielle around. We don't have to anxiously anticipate her starting drama anymore. We can just have nonstop fun and that's what I need in my life. Everything in my life has been so dark and heavy lately, but it was all worth it for the breakthrough that I had with Fantasia last night. I haven't told the girls about the progress of our relationship, but I plan to. They got along with Fantasia pretty well on the trip despite all of the drama, and I think they would be even more receptive of her if they knew how happy I am to be moving forward with her. As Fantasia's blood cousin, I especially want LaLa to know about us.

Regina: I still can't believe Gabrielle fucked your ex. We should jump her.

Megan: Has anybody spoken to Gabby?

Taraji: She calls me, but I don't answer. I don't know why I haven't blocked her yet. She hasn't tried to apologize to me because she doesn't think that she did anything wrong. She's trying to make me the bad guy for hurting her feelings because I didn't want her the way she wanted me. I shouldn't have slept with her in Aspen and messed with her head, but I was willing to have a conversation with her about that until she slept with my ex-fiancé for revenge.

LaLa: I talked to her a couple days ago. She really misses you, T.

Taraji: I miss her too. I can't act like I don't, but I would only be hurting myself by letting her back in. I can't do that to myself. I have to be selfish at this point in my life. I'll always have love for Gabrielle and maybe that makes me stupid and pathetic, but I have to love her from a very far distance.

Regina: It doesn't make you stupid or pathetic, babe. You know that we're gonna stand by you no matter what. We're all team Taraji.

I smiled uncomfortably at the floor, wanting the conversation to end. I knew that the topic of Gabrielle would come up with all of us together for the first time since Aspen, but the expectation didn't make me any more mentally prepared to confront my feelings about the situation. It's a little bit easier to deal with knowing that our mutual friends are on my side and they have my back. Since they're all "team Taraji", I hope that they can be team Taraji and Fantasia. Before I could mention Fantasia's name, the doorbell rang. Maybe that's her dropping in on me. I would've thought that we would be on the phone all day after the amazing first date that we had last night, but I know that she's busy. Maybe we haven't talked all day because she wants to see me face to face. I don't know why it didn't cross my mind to invite her. I'm sure the girls wouldn't have minded. I want my friends to be her friends.

Megan: Who could that be? Did you invite someone else, Raj?

Taraji: No. You guys are the only ones.

LaLa: This group doesn't do well with plus-ones.

I side-eyed LaLa, silently questioning if she was throwing shade. She was the one who invited Fantasia on the Aspen trip just to turn around and act like she didn't even want her there. I didn't say anything because I don't get into family business, but I definitely peeped the strained dynamic between them. Even though Fantasia's presence triggered drama with Gabrielle, I'm thankful that she was there. She's opened my eyes a lot of things and I never thought that I could learn so much from a woman who's far younger than me. I excused myself and went to the door. My entire body recoiled when I opened it to find Gabrielle standing there. I think that I was actually physically frozen in shock. I guess if you speak of the devil then he shall appear, but Gabrielle just might be worse than the devil. I had to immediately put my guard up.

Taraji: What are you doing here Gabrielle?

Gabrielle: Are those the girls I hear in there? None of them will talk to me. 

Taraji: Because they don't trust you. And why would they after what you did?

I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the door, keeping Gabrielle from passing through the threshold. She's not allowed to set foot in my house. It might just go up into flames. I'm feeling so many emotions seeing her standing here in front of me, but I can't allow any of them to show. If I show the slightest bit of vulnerability, Gabrielle will attack it.

Gabrielle: I hate myself enough for what I did for the both of us. I made a mistake, but I only did what I did to feel closer to you. I wanted to know that I could still pull some feelings out of you after you basically dumped me for Fantasia. Look where that got you. She abandoned you, left you crying in the freezing cold snow. I would've never done that to you. I was your biggest protector and your biggest supporter. You know the things that I've done for you, the things that I saved you from.

I knew exactly where Gabrielle was going with this conversation, but I didn't want to go there. My experience on the set of the first "Think Like A Man" was both challenging and the best time of my life. Being amongst so many of my peers in an ensemble was a dream come true, but the crew and production wasn't as pleasant to work with. Not all of them, but there was one assisting producer who almost ruined the entire experience for me. He sexually assaulted me in my trailer. He nearly raped me. I don't know what would have happened if Gabrielle didn't come to rescue. He had the nerve to threaten to get me fired as if he just had that kind of pull with Will Packer. The situation was handled quietly as I wanted it to be and I'm pretty sure that guy is working in a soup kitchen by now. The only person in my circle who knows about it is Gabrielle and I want it to stay that way. I don't think about it because I don't like to think about it. It makes me anxious and my throat closes up, so I just don't think about it. I don't know if I'll ever tell Fantasia. It seems like something you would tell the person that you're trying to build a relationship with, but I don't want her to think that I'm just loading her down with baggage. She's seen so many of my emotional scars, and I feel like she would run away if she saw one more, especially one that's so deep. I don't want to scare her off with all of my seemingly endless issues.

Taraji: You say that as if I owe you something. I repaid you by being a good friend because that's what friends do for each other. I don't throw all the shit that I've done for you back in your face because it's not about me. It's about my feelings for you, my love for you. I'm sorry that I confused you and gave you the wrong impression in Aspen. I was at a really low point and I manipulated you. But that doesn't justify what you did to me. You set me up with a fucking therapist when we came back just to turn around and hurt me in a way that would make me need more therapy. You fucked Kelvin. You know firsthand everything that I went through with that man. I've never loved someone the way I loved him. The only other person who I ever loved that deeply was you, but you destroyed that. I lost a son with him that I was going to name after you. You knew that and you still decided to sleep with him. How am I ever supposed to forgive you? Look me in my eyes and tell me that you would forgive me if I did to you what you did to me. You can't, can you?

Gabrielle's silence spoke volumes. She knows that she would never be able to look at me the same if I was in her shoes, so the fact that she's standing here in front of me and asking me to forgive her is delusional. The pleaser within me wants to give her some grace just so that I don't have to see her looking so pitiful, but she did this to herself. Dr. Robins's voice is in my head right now and I can hear her saying that I would be hitting a roadblock in my journey to falling in love with myself if I were to forgive Gabrielle. I want to move forward, not backwards.

Gabrielle: You know that I love you.

Taraji: I know. In the back of my mind I know, but I don't feel it. Feeling it makes all the difference. I don't have anything else to say to you so I think it's best if you just go now.

Gabrielle: Can you tell the girls that I love them, too?

I nodded my head, the stone wall guarding my heart dropping as soon as she turned and walked off of the porch. Tears filled my eyes as I watched her get into her car and drive away. It feels like I will never see her again. I thought that I would be ok with that. I'm trying to be ok with that.

Fantasia's P.O.V.

I've been all smiles all day at work after the wonderful date that I had last night with Taraji. I think my artists are feeding off of my positive energy because they're all in better moods than usual as well. We always have good days in the shop, but today has been a great day. Kat was smirking at me as I hummed to myself while flipping through my appointment books for the next month. I met her eyes, giggling before looking away again.

Fantasia: Why are you looking at me like that?

Kat: You've been floating around the shop all day like you're living in a world of sunshine and rainbows. It wouldn't have anything to do with your date last night, would it? Since I had a huge hand in it, I think I should get a raise.

Fantasia:*chuckles* You just might get one. The date pushed me into a place that I thought I would never be in with Taraji.

Kat: So you're completely done with Stasi? There's no change of you going back to her? You're all in with Taraji? You need to really think about if that's what you want. You don't want to keep backtracking.

Fantasia: I know. I also know that it's easier said than done, but I won't let anything ruin the progress that me and Taraji have made. We worked too hard for it to let it mean nothing in the end. I could see myself being with her for the long haul. I can't wait until our next date.

The smile that had been on my face all day faded when Nastasia walked into the shop. Kat raised her eyebrows, spinning her chair around in the other direction so that she wouldn't have to witness the inevitable shit show. I don't remember seeing her name in the time log. I could tell by the smirk on her face and the mischief in her honey brown eyes that she purposely avoided making an appointment so that she could surprise me. It worked because I am definitely surprised.

Stasi: You're not going to hug me?

Fantasia: Of course. H-Hi Stasi.

I smiled nervously and hugged her. I don't know why I'm so confident and bold with Taraji but so weak and anxious when it comes to Nastasia. They pull two completely different personalities out of me. Nastasia's soft hands slid down my back a little lower than what I was comfortable with. I don't think Taraji would appreciate it if she saw us hugging like this right now. Nastasia could've gone to any tattoo shop in L.A., but she chose to come here and she came for me.

Stasi: You don't seem all that happy to see me.

Fantasia: I'm just surprised. What are you looking to get today?

She kept one hand on my waist, leaning closer to me to whisper in my ear. When she told me what she wanted, I was shook. I don't turn away customers or ruin a chance to make money, but what she's asking of me is extremely disrespectful to Taraji.

Fantasia: I'll get Sapphire to do it. She does amazing lower back pieces and-

Stasi: I'm sure she's really good, but I want the best. I want you. Everybody comes here requesting you for a reason. Are you going to do my tattoo or not?

Fantasia: Yes, I'll do it. Come on back to my room.

Kat turned and gave me a pointed look as I led Nastasia down the hall to my tattoo booth. I started sanitizing the space and cleaning my tools, keeping my eyes averted away from Nastasia as she undressed in the corner, taking her pants off. She was wearing only a thong and heels from the waist down. The heels were definitely intentional. I slid my eyes to the corner, biting my lip when I saw the muscles in her shapely thighs flex. I'll be ok if I just keep the image of Taraji in that black jumpsuit last night in my mind. Nastasia laid down on her stomach on the seat, presenting her backside to me. I made small talk with her as I prepped her skin just to rid the atmosphere of the awkward tension between us.

Fantasia: So what made you want to get angel wings tattooed on your ass cheeks? That's so...different.

Stasi: The wings mean freedom, strength, and protection, and I feel like I exhibit all of those qualities. They mean a lot to me. My ass is my favorite part of my body. I remember that it was your favorite, too.

Fantasia: Yeah, but that was a long time ago.

Stasi: It wasn't that long ago. It hasn't even been a year yet. And yet so much has changed in such little time.

Fantasia: You're right about that. I had a beautiful date with Taraji last night. She transformed the shop into a lover's wonderland just for me. We had a deep conversation about where we stand in each other's lives, and we're working on getting to a place where we mean more to each other.

Stasi: That's sweet. I would've never thought to do something like that. Well played on Miss Henson's part. I guess if I were to lose you to anyone then I would want it to be someone as bomb as Taraji P. Henson. I just never took you for the type to like old bitches.

Fantasia: She's not old and she's not a bitch. Please watch the way you talk about her. She may be 43 but her body is 25.

Stasi: Look at you defending your woman. Have you fucked her yet? I know you're not the one to wait. You like to test connections through physicality and sexual chemistry. Have you done that with Taraji? When it came to me, you didn't waste any time.

Fantasia: That's really none of your business, Nastasia.

Stasi:*chuckles* So that's a no. Yeah, she's not going to last long.

It's unnerving how well Nastasia knows me. She knows the way I work. She knows all of my quirks and characteristics. Taraji doesn't know all of that, but I want our relationship to progress to the point that she learns. I should've forced Nastasia to get tattooed by another artist, but it's too late at this point to go back. I don't need to have sex with Taraji to prove that our connection is strong. I am sexually attracted to her, but there are a lot of steps we need to take to better our relationship mentally and emotionally before we cross into that physical boundary. I rushed into things with Nastasia. I don't want to make those same mistakes with Taraji. I want to do things the right way.