Fantasia's P.O.V.

I wasn't afforded the chance to leave my parlor until nearly 11 o'clock at night. I wouldn't be surprised if Taraji got tired of waiting for me and just decided to go to bed. I guess I'll find out how serious she is about me when I get to the slam poetry club. If she's not there, then I will know. I'm not going to call her or text her or anything. If she truly wants to see me, then she will be there when I get there on her own accord. When I got home, I took my time taking care of my hygiene and getting ready. There's no reason for me to rush. She said that she would wait for me all night, so that's what I'm going to make her do. She played in my face in Aspen, so it's only fair that I play with her just a little bit. I know it's a tad bit manipulative and maybe even borderline toxic to test her like this, but my trust is harder to earn than others'. I'll let her breathe after tonight if all goes well. Looking at myself in the mirror, I knew that I was someone worth waiting and working for.

I doused my neck, wrists, and the skin behind my ears in Burberry Her perfume, basking in the florally yet sultry and seductive scent. I dusted my arms and legs in gold body glitter, following up with some small finishing touches to my appearance before leaving my house. I put the address of the poetry club that I saw on the card in my gps system and connected my phone to the radio through Bluetooth, scrolling to Spotify and choosing my Summer Walker playlist. The first song was "White Tee" and the playful, sexual tone of the lyrics instantly put me in the same mood. I rolled my body and danced in my seat with one hand on the wheel the whole way there. The parking lot of Poetic Pulse was packed out, but the venue didn't even look big enough to hold as little as 50 people. Maybe it's a hidden gem. I like the idea of Taraji going out of her way to find this place just for me. I'm an artistic person by nature, and as a lover of all art forms, I could see myself frequenting a place like this. There was no line and no guards at the door. Walking inside, the atmosphere was warm and inviting. It felt like the kind of place you could come to every night and never get tired of because you always find something new to appreciate about it each time. The room was hazy with cigar smoke and the golden strobe lights added to the enigmatic vibe. I was looking for Taraji in the sea of faces, but who I found instead was a huge shock. Nastasia was sitting down at a circular table in the middle of the back row and she looked stunningly beautiful. The candle flickering on the table illuminated her pretty face and gave special attention to the gold flecks in her honey brown eyes. Looking at her, I almost forgot that I was here for Taraji.

Fantasia: Stasi?

Stasi: Hi, pretty girl. You look gorgeous. I love the color and the cut of this dress on you. It looks painted on. Beautiful.

Fantasia: Thank you. I don't mean to sound rude, but what are you doing here?

Stasi: I thought the note I put in your bouquet made it very clear.

Fantasia: That was you?

I don't know why I automatically assumed that the roses were from Taraji. Now that I think about it, there wasn't a name written on the card. I guess I just wanted it to be from Taraji. After everything we talked about, it just made sense for the affectionate gesture to be done by Taraji, but everything happens for a reason. There's a reason why Stasi is here and not Taraji. It's up to me to figure out what that reason is. I slowly lowered myself down in the chair across from her, accepting the fact that at this point it was too late to turn and walk out of the door.

Stasi: You look uncomfortable, like you're not sure if you're supposed to be here or not.

Fantasia: It's not that I'm not happy to see you. I was just expecting someone else, especially since you and I agreed that we both moved on and that we could work on a friendship. Was this your intention all along? Was all that talk about being friends just your way in?

Stasi: When you told me that you were feeling someone else, I knew that I had to try to get you back before I lost you forever. I know that I was the one who broke up with you because you hurt me, but the growth and success that I experienced during our time apart made me realize that I wanted to share all of it with you. We have an undeniable connection, and we would be doing a disservice to ourselves by wasting it on a friendship when we could be so much more. I know it's a lot to take in, but I don't think you can disagree. What do you think?

Fantasia: I-I don't know. I honestly don't, Nastasia.

My heart was pounding as I poured over her words and heard them echo in my mind. I'm a confident and secure woman, but that doesn't mean that I don't get nervous. Nastasia makes me extremely nervous. For the longest time, all I wanted was to get Stasi back. It never seemed possible for me to even think about moving on from her until I met Taraji. Now that Nastasia is doing everything that I would want Taraji to do, I don't know what I want. I'm a single woman with no ties to either one of them. I could do what single women do and date both of them, but my life is already busy enough without me balancing two women. I have so much that I bring to the table, and I only want one person to be sitting on the other side of that table. I just don't know who that one person will be.

Stasi: That's ok. You don't have to know right now. I'll still be here either way. For tonight, let's just enjoy our time together. The next poet coming to the stage is my favorite. Her name is Spirit. I like her because she always seems to talk about what's going on in my mind through her poetry.

Spirit was a thin dark woman with red locs piled up on her head in a bun with a silk Aztec print scarf and gold clips, and a fashion style reminiscent of Sade and Erykah Badu. As she began to recite her poem, I understood what Stasi was talking about when she said Spirit seemed to give her thoughts a voice. I leaned forward in my seat in deep interest, finding myself painfully relating to Spirit's poem.

Spirit: The sun and the moon battle for the attention of the Earth. One watches the world sleep. The other touches everything living. Day is nothing without night. Darkness holds no meaning without light. Time is running out and a choice has to be made. Will it be the sun or the moon-

I zoned out after that part, sinking deeper into my thoughts. Nastasia is the sun and Taraji is the moon. The darkness makes you appreciate the light, but the darkness is more comfortable to rest in. I dimmed my own light by cheating on Stasi. Stasi was my light. Taraji carries a dark cloud with her, but she's trying to be better. She's trying to be the person that I need her to be. I feel like the Earth trapped between the sun and the moon. When Stasi excused herself to go to the bathroom, I got up and left. There was a time when I would have loved to have my cake and eat it too, but now I just feel overstuffed and sick to my stomach. I have a lot to think about and a choice to make.