Monster
It was another quiet evening. I was alone in my bedroom. I wanted to be alone. Something was deeply troubling me. I couldn't get it off my mind. I didn't like being the only human living in the Shire. The hobbits don't really like me. Well, except for Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin. The hobbits see me as some sort of monster.
You know the movie Frankenstein? Well, there's this scene where a mob of angry villagers come chasing after Frankenstein. They chant and scream and curse foul words. They wield sharp, rusty pitchforks and torches lit with violent flames. It sort of feels like I'm the monster. I'm Frankenstein. The angry villagers are the hobbits. One day, they will probably come chasing after me with pitchforks and torches. I could only imagine.
An awful feeling came over me. My head collapsed in my hands and I started to cry.
All of a sudden, I heard the sound of Frodo's gentle voice outside my bedroom door. He knocked, quietly. "Brianna? May I come in?" I shook my head. "No. You...you can't come in." I whimpered.
"Why not, dear?" Asked Frodo. I sniffled, loudly. I wiped my nose with the edge of my nightshirt sleeve. "You can't." I whimpered again.
Frodo twisted the doorknob and entered the room. He heard my silent cries. A feeling of pity filled Frodo's kind heart. He walked over to me and sat down beside me. "What is the matter?" I turned away from Frodo. I didn't deserve pity. I didn't deserve his pity. I stared down into my lap and didn't reply back.
"You haven't talked much today." I could tell that Frodo was worried. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't care what Frodo had to say.
"You barely ate your dinner." he replied. "You didn't even eat your dessert. I know how much you love dessert, Brianna. Cakes, biscuits, apple tarts......" Frodo was trying his best to get me to feel better. I know what he wanted. He wanted to get me to open up to him about what was bothering me. If I told him, I didn't think he would understand. No one understands.
Frodo placed a gentle hand on my right shoulder. "You like apple tarts, don't you?" A wide grin grew on his cheery face. I clicked my tongue and shrugged my shoulders. I refused to care.
"Won't you please tell me what's bothering you, Brianna?" Frodo begged. "I'm right here. You can tell me anything." I crossed my arms in frustration. I fixed my gaze on the wooden bedroom flooring.
I gently pushed away Frodo's hand from my shoulder. I didn't need his compassion. I mean, why would a monster like me deserve love and compassion? I still refused to open up to Frodo, no matter how hard he tried to get me to spill out the truth.
I slowly rose from my bed. I stared out my window. The pale moonlight shined upon my tearful face. I heard Frodo get up from the bed. He came up behind me and placed both of his hands upon my shoulders, comfortingly. I felt no comfort. A monster like me does not deserve comfort.
I felt Frodo's warm breath upon the back of my neck. "Brianna?" he said, in a voice that was as soft and smooth as silk. "Won't you please tell me what's bothering you?"
I shook my head, quickly. "I...don't want to." "Why not?" Frodo moved in closer to me. "You wouldn't understand." I replied, in a grief-stricken voice. "Nobody does. Nobody will."
"What do you mean, Brianna?" Frodo asked, quietly.
"Frodo....what...what am I?" I shivered.
"You are my daughter."
"I'm a monster."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because it's the truth! It's the inevitable truth!" I shouted.
Frodo started to massage my back with the palm of his right hand. "You are not a monster, Brianna." he whispered in my ear.
Tears were quickly streaming down my cheeks. "Yes. Yes I am." I choked. "I always will be."
There was an angry storm inside me. I couldn't help but let it out.
"That's all that people think when they see me! A monster! A monster! Frodo, every single hobbit in the Shire hates me! They hate me! I will always be a monster to them! They keep teasing me, they throw stuff at me, and they bully me! Oh, wait! I almost forgot! The other day, I saw a group of hobbit children run away from me! They were afraid of me!"
"But, they are just children, Brianna." Frodo reassured, in a soothing voice.
"Let's face it, Frodo! I'm...I'm...I'm the monster that their parents tell them about at night! I always will be! I don't know why you chose to...to...to...take in a monster like me!"
Frodo frowned. "I took you in because you had no home. You had no family. No one to care about you." he whispered. Frodo gazed at me with his wide baby blue eyes, full of pity and empathy.
My body shook, violently. My hands trembled like earthquakes. "I care about you so much, Brianna." said Frodo, quietly. "I love you. I always will. You know that."
I shook my head. "You love a monster!" I choked up. I stormed out of the room and out of Bag End. I had the desire to run away into the Eastfarthing Woods and never come back. Frodo stood in my bedroom, with a painful expression on his face. He didn't know what had come over me. He had never heard me utter such awful things before. "Oh, Brianna." he whispered to himself. "I...I had no idea."
Frodo ran out of the room and decided to chase after me. He couldn't bear to lose me. He paced down the front porch and onto the dusty dirt pathway that led down to the Eastfarthing Woods.
As I was running, I spotted Merry walking up the path. As I ran past him, I heard him shout my name. "Brianna!" I paused for a moment to look into his bright silvery blue eyes. Merry saw the tears that were streaming down my face. He noticed that I was distressed.
"Where are you going, Brianna?" Merry asked me, with curiosity beaming in his eyes. I sniffled, loudly.
"I can't stay here, Merry." I choked. "I can't."
"Why not? What's gotten into you?"
"I'm a monster!"
"No, Brianna. You're not a monster. There's no need to run away."
"But, Merry! I have to!"
Merry crossed his arms and tapped his foot on the ground. "No. You don't." He spoke in a stern tone of voice. He was trying to get me to snap out of it. "Don't run away. You understand? You're better off staying here in the Shire. There is nowhere else you can go. There is nowhere else you can hide. You want to run away from Frodo? You want to run away from me? Do you?"
I felt helpless. My entire body was frozen with fear. I swallowed hard. "But, I...I...I feel like I need to run away."
"Why?" Asked Merry. "Why do you need to run away?"
"I'm a monster, Merry." I whimpered. "I'm a...a...a monster."
Merry shook his head. "That sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me. If you run away from here, from the Shire, it will be the biggest mistake you have ever made and you will regret it." Merry moved in closer to me and placed his hands firmly on my shoulders. He whispered in my ear.
"Listen to me, Brianna. I want to help you. I really do. But, running away is not going to solve anything. It's not going to make all of your problems go away. You need to believe me. You don't need to do this. Stay here. Please."
All of the tears that I was trying to hold back were streaming down my from my eyelids. I couldn't take all of this pain. It..it was too much for me to handle. My emotions were clouding my judgement. I guess Merry was right.
My lips quivered as I spoke. "You're...you're right, Merry. I...I...can't run away. I can't."
Merry moved in closer and hugged me tightly. He hugged me like it was like the last time he was ever going to hold me. Like it was the end of the world. I buried my face into Merry's chest and sobbed quietly. Merry rocked me back and forth. He reassured me that everything was going to be alright. I...I didn't want him to let go of me.
All of a sudden, Merry spotted Frodo running in his direction. Frodo saw me wrapped up in Merry's arms. He looked up at Merry. His bright blue eyes grew wide. "I found her, Frodo." Merry told Frodo. "I saw her coming down the road. She told me that she wanted to leave the Shire. I talked some sense into her to make her understand. I don't think she'll be going anywhere anytime soon."
Frodo let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Merry. I don't know what I could've done without you." Merry nodded his head and gave Frodo a friendly smile.
Merry whispered into my ear and told me that Frodo was there. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want him to see how embarrassed I was of myself. He would probably yell at me and punish me for the rest of my life. I didn't want to let go of Merry.
"Frodo wants to see you, Bri." Merry whispered in my ear. I shook my head in Merry's chest. "No, no, no. Don't let me go. Frodo...Frodo's going to be upset with me. Please, don't let me go."
Merry clicked his tongue. "You're going to have to. Frodo is going to be upset with you if you don't see him. He loves you." Frodo gazed at the dirt road below. His lips were trembling. A pain filled his heart. He felt like everything was his fault. It was his fault that I ran away.
I gingerly released myself from Merry's warm embrace. I shamefully walked over towards Frodo with tears running down my face. "You...You can punish me, Frodo." I swallowed hard. "I..I..I...deserve it."
Frodo walked over to me and placed his hands gently on my shoulders. He shook his head. "No. I'm not going to punish you, Brianna." Frodo replied, in a soft voice.
"Then...then...what...what are you..you...going to do to me?" I choked up. I looked into Frodo's eyes, pitifully.
All of a sudden, Frodo tightly wrapped me up in his arms and rocked me back and forth in a gentle motion. He rested his chin on my right shoulder. Tears were quickly streaming down from his ocean eyes. Frodo kissed me softly and slowly on both of my cheeks, both of my temples and multiple times on my forehead. Every kiss that he gave me meant something to me. It meant that he would always love me, no matter what happened and that I would forever be a part of him. He loved me more than he loved anyone else.
Frodo continued to rock me back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. "There is nothing in this world that you can do to hurt me. I love you. So much. So much. So much." he whispered.
"You do?" I looked up at Frodo once more.
"Yes. Brianna. I do." Frodo smiled and kissed me one last time on my forehead. "Come now, dear one. Let's bring you back home where you belong."
Frodo and I let go of each other. To our surprise, we saw Merry staring at us. A wide grin grew on his face. "Well, well, well." he said, cheerfully. "Isn't that a wonderful thing?"
"What?" Asked Frodo. "A father holding his daughter, telling her how much he loves her. That's beautiful."
"Thank you, Merry." Said Frodo, timidly. Merry nodded.
"I will see you both tomorrow. Have a good night, Brianna. Have a good night, Frodo." Said Merry.
"You too, Merry." Frodo and I said, in unison.
As Frodo and I began walking, I turned around and saw Merry smiling back at me. He blew me a kiss.
"I love you, Brianna." he mouthed. I chuckled. "You too, Merry." I mouthed back.
Frodo took a hold of my hand and led me back to Bag End. He tucked me into bed, made me a warm mug of milk, sang me a lullaby, kissed me a few times on the forehead, and told me that he loved me. I guess I'm not a monster after all.
SevBaggins
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