LaToya sat at the table as she played with what was suppose to be her dinner for the night. She used the fork to pick up the over cooked spaghetti noodles accompanied with watery tomato sauce.

"You better stop playing with that food, you not leaving the table until it's all gone either" her sister LaTonya said as she fixed her make up in the living room mirror. She was preparing for another night of partying with her bestfriend Mecca and boyfriend Messiah.

"I full" Toya said in a soft voice. Although it was soft Tonya still heard her.

"You have to eat, if not you're gonna be hungry in the middle of the night" she sighed.

"It's nasty" Toya replied as she twisted her face up.

"Oh well, eat the damn food." Tonya semi-yelled. Toya crossed her arms across her chest and poked her lip out.

It wasn't long before there were sniffles heard throughout the room. Tonya sighed loudly, "OH MY GOD! Just go, go ahead and go to your room!"

Toya got down from the chair and made her way into her bedroom. When she got in her room she climbed into the bed and laid down, curling herself into a ball.

This has become a nightly routine for the young girl, her sister would feed her whatever she could scavenge up then make her go to bed so that she could go out with her friends.

Some nights they had no food so she would either eat bread or nothing at all. Luckily Tonya's boyfriend Messiah had given her a little money to go buy some things they needed for the house.  

"Did you brush your teeth?" Tonya asked as she appeared in the doorway.

Toya rolled from her position and eyes her sister, she surveyed her attire and automatically knew that she was about to leave her home alone once again. The little girl nodded her head and laid back down.

Tonya walked over and kissed her little sister, "love you, don't open the door for anyone"

"Love you sissy" she replied in a soft voice.

Tonya walked out into the living room, lit candles in their apartment and headed out to a party with her friends. She locked both the top and bottom lock on the door and sprinted towards Messiah's car.

On her way there she bumped into someone, "Gah Damn! Watch where your going!" She shouted as she scrunched her face up.

"You hiccup watch hiccup where you're going" the woman said as she bent down to pick up her cup of liquor. Once she stood back up LaTonya instantly grew angrier.

"Mama?" she inquired. She hadn't seen her mom in at least two weeks. This was nothing new, LaTia always managed to forget she had two kids at home she needed to care for.

"La hiccup Tonya hiccup? What you hiccup doing out here? Where's LaToya? Tia asked as she searched her bag for her bottle of Hennessy.

"Oh so you do remember that you have kids?" She scoffed.

"Don't sass me! And where you think you going looking like a stripper?"

"I'm going to mind my business." She started to walk off until her mother grabbed her arm roughly.

"Ain't nothing but legs open this late at night. I ain't got no money to be taking care of nobody baby!" She snarled.

"You don't even have money to take care of your own children" Tonya replied matter of factly, snatched away from her mother and continued her journey to the car.

This bickering was something LaTia had become accustomed to when it came to her oldest daughter. She had placed so much responsibility on the young girl that she felt like she didn't need to answer to her and Tia didn't blame her.

As much as Tia wanted to change her ways and become a better mother, the monkey on her back caused her to continue her bad habits.

She staggered through the courtyard of their apartment complex, up the 2 flights of stairs and into their apartment. She flickered the light switch to find that once again the lights were out, hints the candles that were lit around the place.

Tia sighed heavily and stripped out of her clothes and went into the bathroom to shower. She turned the water handle to the red but when the water didn't get hot recollection set in. "What the fuck" She grumbled.

"Mommy?"

She heard a small voice behind her and turned around to see her baby girl. LaToya was so beautiful, her long hair flowed down her back as she sucked on her thumb.

"Hey baby girl. Mommy missed you" she said genuinely as she wrapped her in her arms.

"Mommy you stink" Toya spoke just above a whisper.

"Mommy's sorry, let me take a shower and I will be right in to tuck you in. Okay princess?"

She nodded and made her way back into her room. Tia sighed, stepped into the cold water and quickly washed her body. She stepped out and lotioned her skin, taking a look in the mirror she saw a woman who was not only broken, but a woman who was a disgrace to her daughters.

They didn't deserve to live how they were living. She always thought they would be living the life but once her babies father died all those dreams died with him. The only thing she could afford was this three bedroom government assistance apartment in the heart of the ghetto.

She could barely keep the lights on since she had never had a job in her adult life, he had always taken care of their family. Which caused her to resort to selling her body from time to time, which in turn caused her to drink uncontrollably.

Once she made it into Toya's room she was sound asleep with her bonnet on and her thumb in her mouth.

Tia kissed her cheek, laid next to her and cuddled her into her arms. Before long she felt her eyes getting heavier, so she allowed sleep to overcome her.

_______________________

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