By the time we reached Anne's house, I began to see houses more spread apart, lots of trees and green land behind the raindrops against the window.

I was pretty tired and it was quickly approaching night time, or at least getting darker because of the weather. I was exhausted and was never able to sleep well in the car. Something about all the movement didn't settle well with me.

Harry, on the other hand, had taken the whole back seat up with his tall lanky body and was snoring while holding my hand. The bumpy roads might as well have been rocking him like a baby.

I watched the road as Harry's dad sang along to the music and Anne slept in the seat beside him. “When Harry was little and his mum and I divorced, I would drive him home, about an hour away from where I lived. And he would fight with every muscle in his little body not to fall asleep so we could spend that last hour together. But he always did.” I chuckled looking down at the full-grown baby on my lap, gently running my fingers through his hair.

God, I loved him so much.

Anne's home was surrounded by tall trees and bushes. A large two-story home that she shared with Harry's sister and grandparents. I wasn't aware of this until a few hours ago after Harry and I decided to talk about it on the plane. Somewhere between sex and landing, he mentioned his sister's divorce caused her to move back in with their mom and although he loved her, they weren't close as they used to be.

Time and distance made their relationship tricky, but the men in his sister's life really kept them apart.

In the back of my mind, I kept thinking about the rate of divorce in the Styles family. His mother had been married three times, his sister twice and apparently his grandma wasn't grandpas first wife either. 

On my end of things, my parents had been together for years, my grandparents on both sides were still married and my great grandparents each stayed married between forty and fifty years. So it made me really think about Harry, me, and our future.

Harry always tells me I need to be more in the moment. And he does have a point. I'm always thinking of the future and maybe being with him should be the one thing I should just let happen. We worked on ourselves and I have no doubt that we will continue to change and work on our relationship because this whole love stuff you see on tv is actual work, but I can't stress myself out over what could happen.

So as the car shut off and Anne went in to open the door and make sure the heater was on and the house stayed clean while she had been gone, I gently woke up Harry with kisses all over his face. 

He hummed in appreciation and sat up rubbing his eyes, looking around outside. “Welcome to the motherland.” his voice low and tired.

*

Anne's house looked like it was very old on the outside. The type of home you were sure housed old people. But the inside was further from old. In fact, it looked like it was newly fixed up and refurbished. The carpet was white and soft, the furniture all matched together in red and black. Paintings and family photos hung on the walls and in frames along the entrance hallway.

We took off our shoes and took a quick look around and I decided that whoever decorated this house needed to redo my own place because this was amazing.

“I see how Gemma changed the room again from the last time,” Harry spoke up to his mom who helped take our bags into a room near the stairs. I guess we'll be sleeping in there.

Anne chuckled looking around. “Yeah, she's already thinking of a new layout for the new year. Who am I to stop her, it's more her home now than it is mine.”

“It's a beautiful home, Anne. The artwork and everything is lovely. Your daughter is very talented.” she quickly agreed just as Harry's dad walked into the house giving us a thumbs up to let us know he had parked the car and grabbed his stuff. 

“Oh Edward, you can stay in the other guest room. I'll show you.” he agreed following them upstairs. 

I was completely okay with staying downstairs because I was not a fan of stairs. I breathe too heavily.

 “Oh, everyone should be home soon, you two should really rest for a bit. Gemma is bringing food. Harry why don't you show Bonnie around, get settled, and all that.”

“Okay, thanks, mum.”

Harry grabbed my hand and walked with me to our guest bedroom which I now understood why we had it since it had its own private bathroom and a pretty big bed in it. It reminded me of a lot of the room we stayed in at the beach house except for no balcony.

Harry was just about to jump on the bed when I stopped him and shook my head. “You are all wet from the rain, you need to shower and change.” he pouted.

“Will you be joining?” I nodded. “Yay!” he stripped off his jacket and shirt, standing in his sweatpants and socks. 

The whole house was pretty warm so I grabbed a pair of leggings and long sleeve shirt, setting it aside to change into after my shower. There was a knock at the door of our bedroom and I quickly told them to come in. Anne smiled at me holding a few towels up and taking a glimpse at Harry who was again texting someone while standing there shirtless.

“I assumed you'd take a shower since you probably feel yucky from the plane and the humidity. There are extra blankets in the cabinet and I'll call you when dinners here." I thanked her again, closing the door and taking in a deep breath.

 I was in England with my fiance and his family.

And suddenly I missed my mom.

“Shower time?” Harry asked setting both our phones on the counter to charge.

Although I didn't see them often, I always saw my mom at Christmas. “You go ahead, it's early where my mom is, I'm gonna call her.”

“Wait, no!” he stopped me. “I mean, call her tomorrow after we shower and sleep, get some food and then call her. I mean she's probably working or something." I raised an eyebrow and stared at him like he was crazy. Why was he acting all weird?

I decided to just listen to him and agreed. “Okay then. I am pretty tired. Lets shower then.” he nodded walking with me to the bathroom to help me undress, kissing my shoulder before turning on the shower. Once the water was warm he opened our toiletries bag and pulled out everything I used for the shower. But I couldn't help but feel like he was acting strange. “Are you okay?”

“Peachy.” he smiled at me, tugging off his pants. “You?”

“I don't know you're acting strange.” he didn't reply until we were in the shower. I hadn't taken notice of how tired I actually was from sitting until I felt the hot water seep into my muscles and relax me.

“Do you trust me?” Harry says after a long minute. 

I opened my eyes and looked at the sincerity on his face and how vulnerable he sounded. “I trust you, baby.” he smiled, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my nose.

“Good. just trust me the whole trip and I promise everything will make sense. Please?”

“What does that even mean?” he chuckles and presses a quick kiss to my lips. “Just tell me one thing? Who have you been texting?” I didn't care if I sounded suspicious of him.

“Honestly, on everything I have, I've been texting Niall. I can't tell you why yet, okay?" I took a deep breath and nodded. “Pinky swear, or may god rip my dick off-”

“Stop, I believe you. I just- I don't know. I feel very vulnerable here.” I confess, turning away to let him stand under the water so I can grab my shampoo. “Your mom apologizes in the car, you're surrounded by your family, it's just easy to feel out of place.”

Not to mention I was now naked and talking about this in front of him. Lack of sleep, new environment and the nerves of Harry's mom all caught up to me and I was suddenly crying.

“Woah what the fuck? Hey baby, what's wrong? What's going on?” Harry had a very specific voice he used when I was sad. It was the same voice he talked to babies with. “Look at me?” he gently lifted my chin and frowned. “What's going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“I think I'm just tired,” I admitted. “It's been a long day.” he agreed, helping me finish my shower before washing himself and helping me dry up and get into bed. The smell of fresh lilac scented soap really helped me calm down.

Harry placed a dry towel on the pillowcase so we wouldn't wet the pillows and laid beside me and sighed. “Alright miss nosey. I have a bit of a surprise for you after Christmas and I've been talking to a few people over text about specific details of the surprise. Stop overthinking Bonbon, I love you." I smiled and nodded. “Say it back.” he hovered over me, kissing my cheek down to my neck to blow raspberries into my neck, causing me to let out a loud squeal.

“Harry! Okay, I love you- no!” I laughed harder as he began tickling my sides. "Okay- oh my God stop- Harry!" He pulled away and smirked.

"You're usually saying the opposite." He teased. "Oh God don't stop, Harry." He moaned, imitating me until he squealed like a pig when I pinched his nipple to shut him up.

“Just smile and be happy Bonbon, can't have my cinnamon apple all sad.” I laughed at his nickname he got from some video online. “Let's sleep and try to not cry anymore okay?” His big green eyes hopeful and full of love really made it hard not to smile. “Love you so much, princess.”

"I love you more," I whispered back.

"I've loved you longer." He got me there.

He laid behind me and spooned me, kissing my neck and shoulder gently over and over until I felt my eyes closing on their own.

I'm just tired, and emotional. I'm sure whatever my surprise is, I'll love it and I need to find trust in my man.

*

Thanks for reading. Xx

-k