*edit* this still cracks me up ^^^

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I lost five pounds and gained a rash between my thunder thighs, so you can say my spin classes are going great.

Pretty sure it was all water weight that I lost and I was extremely dehydrated though, so I've now been drinking a gallon of water a day because someone told me that's what you should do and I tend to believe anything anyone says to me ever.

It was the fourth of July and to say I was excited to see Harry was an understatement.

I began getting ready way too early and was now fully dressed with my hair and makeup done an hour before he was supposed to show up at the apartment.

We had been texting back and forth since our last call. I missed his voice way too much to hear it over the phone. It physically hurts me to hear his voice and not be with him.

Besides work, working out, and all the other crap I've been doing, I've also found myself watching way too many tutorials online. Not just makeup but also how to fix everyday things in my apartment. I've come to realize that I'm actually really handy with tools and even bought myself a new set. I mean, I fixed my wobbly table, patched up the damage Harry and I made behind my headboard and sewed my couch cushion in a way so it's seamless.

I'm all grown up now.

The front door opened and shut close before I heard a knock which meant Harry wasn't sure if he should come in or not. He still had his key which I never planned to take away. I decided not to say anything and just go and open the door.

He was in a pair of dark jeans and wearing this white button-up with these little designs all over. He wore a brown leather jacket over it, which I was about to yell at him for since it was like eighty-five degrees outside. His hair was parted and messy, so he was basically looking like a bad boy from every eighties movie ever.

“Why are you in a leather jacket?”

“It's nice to see you too, loser.” he teased me before pulling me in and hugging me tightly. 

Besides the warm leather against my arms, I felt so comfortable hugging him and I just then realized how much I had missed him. Before he could pull away, I squeezed him tighter and buried my face into his neck. He chuckled at this and pulled me even closer.

Thank God I wore waterproof mascara because I was crying now.

"Hey, hey baby look at me." He pulled back and lifted my head to look up at him. "Why are you crying? Hmm?"

I sniffled, "it's allergies... and also I missed you." He licked his lips and shook his head slowly, a slight smile on his face. "Did you miss me?" This caused his smile to fall.

"Are you kidding? All I do is miss you, baby. I wanted to wait but I have to say this before my mind blows up." He pulled me towards the couch and sat down beside me with a slight huff. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, like a lot more than my brain is used to." He smiled. "I guess in my mind since we've been friends for a long time, I never made the whole switch into being your boyfriend. It sounds stupid but I just want you to know that I'm learning to take this seriously. You're important to me and I want you to know that I'm doing everything I can to make myself into a better man for you."

"Harry-" he stopped me and told me to wait.

"I have to get this off my chest, I practiced in the car." He admitted, taking a hold of my hands and clearing his throat. "I'm gonna move out from your apartment-" my eyes widened. "Just hear me out. We moved in and rushed everything. Our whole relationship was out of order and I want to do this better. I don't want to start over like we just met but when you give me the opportunity to show you, I want to prove to you that I'm changing. We can date and build up that foundation like people are supposed to." He sounded so hopeful and positive.

A part of me was so happy to hear all of these things. In almost a month's time, exactly what I wanted to happen, actually happened. Harry and I both learned some stuff and slowly we can move on from there. Although I was pretty disappointed that he was officially moving out of the apartment. I didn't want to start all over again completely. Some things I wanted to keep like before, but I guess I understood what he was saying.

"So a foundation, how do we do that?" He pulled his jacket off and set it aside, giving himself a few minutes before answering me.

"Well, if you're ready, I'd like to take you out on a date." I smiled. "Unless you're not ready, which is cool I can wait and deal with my frustrations in therapy-"

"Jesus-"

"Parker loves to hear all my problems." I smiled learning the name of his therapist. "I miss you like crazy all the time, Bonbon." He changed his tone to his lovey-dovey voice.

"I missed you like crazy." I put my arms around him and fell back on the couch to cuddle with him. "Where will you live?"

"I actually found a place….pretty close by." I smiled.

"How close?"

"Like...pretty close." I raised an eyebrow looking up at him.

Slowly he got up and pulled me up to follow him to my front door where he pulled me outside. My apartment complex had a path that leads down to the other apartments and as we stood there he pointed towards the last apartment door. "That way, down there, to the left, six doors down two rooms for me and Niall."

"Niall's moving out of his parents' place?" He nodded.

"Yeah, our little boy is growing up." He pretended to wipe a tear away. 

We walked back inside to my place and awkwardly stood there for a second. "So…" we both spoke at the same time, laughing awkwardly afterward.

"What do you think of me living in my own place?" I looked down at my shoes. The apartment was probably a five-minute walk down a path but it might as well have been across the country.

"I'm sad that you'll leave but I'm happy for you." He lifted my chin up to look me in the eyes.

"Hey, when my lease is up, maybe, depending on where we are in the relationship by then, we can find a place of our own." I smiled and nodded. "Why are you crying?"

He swiped his thumb gently under my eyes and pulled me in close to hug me. "I'm fine, just going to miss having you here all the time. But it's good because we'll get there again." Harry presses a kiss to my forehead and we both just stood there again for a little while.

The sound of fireworks in the distance caught our attention and we finally decided that it was enough emotional stuff and that we should head out.

*

Harry had texted me that morning and had an idea about where we could watch the fireworks.

We took a drive up to a steep neighborhood in the city and went off the road into a dirt road that had a nice view of where they had fireworks.

Harry had a cooler in his back seat and pulled out a couple of drinks and some food for us to eat in the back of his car just in time for the sun to begin setting and the fireworks to begin.

"I like your nails." He pointed out randomly as I had a mouth full of chips.

I looked down at my fresh manicured hands and thanked him. I wasn't usually one to get longer nails but the woman talked me into it. "Yeah I got them done a couple of days ago, they're pointy." I gently ran my fingers along his neck and watched as he shivered and readjusted himself in his pants.

I couldn't help but sense a sudden change between us. Sexual tension perhaps?

Now that I saw we were okay and we were going to slowly start over, all I can think about was how good Harry was at sex and how I would really like him to fuck me right about now.

After we spoke, my dreams began to get extremely sexual. All of the things I wanted to do to Harry and I wanted him to do to me played in my mind like some pornographic film. One dream in particular where he tied me to the bed and had his way with me really stuck out. I could feel myself scooting closer to him.

Obviously, I can't let that happen, my mom's words kept replaying in my head about how our feelings can get messed up. I mean what were Harry and I even doing right now? We technically weren't together, right?

This is what Rachel and Ross argued about during the break. You know, the more I think about it, the more I'm starting to like Joey and Rachel together, Ross was an asshole who pretended to be a nice guy. At least Joey didn't pretend to be a nice guy, we knew who he was from the beginning.

"I did something bad." My eyes widened as I turned to face him.

"What?" 

He looked down and rubbed his hands together slowly before taking a deep breath. "Listen I did something really stupid the night we went on our break?" He confessed. "I was drunk at a bar and completely heartbroken and angry. I did something and before you yell and get angry just hear me out."

Our eyes met once again and my heart began to beat harder against my chest. "Okay…"

With a big deep breath, Harry said the worst thing he could possibly say at a time like this. "That night at the bar, I saw Jessy."

Have you guys ever been punched in the stomach, that's what his words felt like.

*

Thanks for reading. Xx

-k