Flashback.

I sat on the couch of mine and Jessy's living room and took in a deep breath thinking about the argument we had this morning and last night. She constantly wanted me to do better things and work harder; use my degree for something.

But I felt like I was in a funk.

She walked into the room and took a seat beside me, shutting off the television. "We need to talk," she spoke quietly.

"Yeah, we do." I leaned forward on my knees, tugging at the roots of my hair.

Breakups aren't easy.

"I know you love her, Harry." My head snapped up about to look at Jessy.

"This isn't about Bonnie, what I said last night was-"

"It's okay." She whispered. "I know at one point you did love me, and maybe you still love me but not as much as you want to love her. All this arguing back and forth isn't good and maybe it's best you try and...be with her."

"But-"

"Harry, you and I both know that you aren't the kind of guy I see myself with. Why are we pretending either one of us is happy? You love Bonnie, and I love structure and safety. I love knowing that tomorrow there will be a plan and that's not you." She shrugged.

Although I didn't want to be with her, I was slightly offended.

"I can be a structured guy." She nodded.

"But for me, you're not, you have to be a better man but I don't want you anymore. Be A better man for the next one, because I can't do it anymore." 

Not gonna lie, that hurt a little.

"She'd never want me like that, and we both know that," I whispered. "But we aren't happy, so I guess it's over."

Jesse sighed and looked around. "I think you should move out soon." 

Way to kick me when I'm down.

"Wow, you heartless bitch." I stood up and shook my head walking over to the bedroom.

She followed close behind and crossed her arms as I tried to grab a bag of clothes. I could stay with Niall and his parents until I knew what to do. "I'm not heartless! You'll thank me after this Harry! If I don't push you out there you'll never do anything! You want to sit here for the rest of your life, doing nothing with your degree with a woman you don't love! Go out there, get a job, and be with the person your meant to be with!"

It was hard to believe her with tears in her eyes, but I did leave.

I drove to Niall's house and his only remedy was to drink. So I drank a lot.

I was hurt because I had been dumped, even though I knew Jessy wasn't the one for me all along. But I mostly hurt from the pain in my chest, knowing that Bonnie was still with that idiot.

End flashback.

If it wasn't for Jessy, I would have never been asleep on Bonnie's couch. Her relationship would have continued and eventually that asshole would have married her.

And I would be a lonely sack of potatoes after Jessy finally realized I'm no use to her.ky

I didn't love Jessy, but I did care about her enough to know she was making a mistake. I knew she could do so much better than Daniel.

So I went home and explained that to Bonnie who seemed a bit upset about my tone earlier. "I am so sorry, I will never be rude to you like that again, Bonnie, but doesn't it bother you that he knew about you and me somehow, then he talked to Jessy and is having dinner with her?"

Bonnie paused as she got dressed for my birthday dinner and nodded. "That is strange. I mean, no one knew about us and I doubt Niall or my friends would say anything to him."

"I just- you know I love you and only you, right? She's the reason I came to my senses and tried to be there with you." I chuckled. "Obviously the plan didn't go exact, with us being fuck buddies and all that, but we're here together now."

Bonnie smiled and nodded. "That's true." She took a deep breath. "But it still hurts my feeling that you yelled and took out your frustration on me. It made me feel bad." She pouted looking down at the ground.

"I am so sorry sweetheart, you know I would never do that, please forgive me? I love that you planned a dinner for me, and I love you." I pouted my lip and laid my head against her chest. 

"I love you, but please don't be concerned for her, she's not your responsibility just like Daniel isn't mine." I nodded.

"Of course, you're my person and I'm only gonna be worried about you."

"You've been watching too much Grey's anatomy again." She teased. "But you're my person too." She kissed my cheek and smiled.

"Okay, let me get dressed and we can go to this fun dinner." She agreed and I felt like such an asshole for being so mean to her.

*

It was foolish to think Bonnie could get over me yelling at her the way I did so easily. 

We made it to dinner at one of my favorite places, this burger joint sit down restaurant where they had this amazing milkshake both Bonnie and I loved.

She had invited a few of my friends and her friends as well and as soon as people noticed we were holding hands, it was like everyone had lost their shit.

"It's about time you two got together!"

"Aren't they so cute, ugh goals!"

"That could be me but this fucker isn't gay," Niall whispered to his friend Josh as he sipped his coke.

I ordered my meal with everyone else while we all talked about how my job was going and how Bonnie and I got together in the first place. But I could feel an angry presence next to me and when I finally turned to Bonnie I could tell she was still upset.

Had I really upset her that much?

"Excuse me." She stood up and both Ashleigh and Sara both turned to face each other standing to follow her.

I tried to eat but I can feel a pair of eyes on me and knew it was Niall. "So what did you do to ruin the best thing you've ever had, Harold?" I rolled my eyes.

"We had our first lover's quarrel, it was small but I think the significance behind it made it seem like I still have feelings for my ex." Niall leaned in closer to me.

"Do you still have feelings for your ex?" There were times when Niall was actually trying to be a friend instead of a drama queen, sucking in all the drama and making it into a bigger deal than it was.

This is one of those times he was trying to be an actual friend.

"I think I saw Bonnie's ex with my ex, and I have a bad feeling about it. It irritated me but I'm not jealous, I'm concerned because I know the type of guy he is. But I love Bonnie, and now I can't take back my words and my tone, so I'm screwed."

Niall sighs and puts his arm around the back of my chair. "You could have had me right now, and we'd be in Cabo." 

"Niall-"

"I'm kidding, seriously, if you want my advice, don't get involved with your exes. Just let her cool off and you'll move on. Did you apologize yet?" I nodded. "Okay, don't apologize again over and over, it's annoying and makes it seem like you're guilty, which you aren't?"

"Of course not, I'm over it, I'm with my Bonbon now." He stuck his finger in his mouth and pretended to gag. "Shut up, I'm a man in love and this is what love does to you, turns you into an idiot."

Just then I heard someone clear their throat. Both Niall and I turned to find Bonnie standing there with a small smile on her face. "Excuse me, Niall."

She took a seat and looked at me with her eyes soft again and her smile never leaving her lips. "I heard what you said, sweet boy." She whispered to me.

I leaned my head on her shoulder. "I'm a sweet boy, who loves you." She giggled and pulled me in by my chin to kiss me.

"Awww!" We heard around us followed by, "gag me with a spoon." From Niall.

*

After my milkshake, we decided to go to a bar down the street and do a couple of shots. One by one my friends left and I was left walking to the car with a sober Bonnie and a stumbling Niall. 

We took him home and by the time we made to our apartment, I had sobered up and just felt relaxed.

I dropped to the couch and watched as Bonnie went to the bedroom and came back with a present for me. She took a seat and placed the box on my lap with a soft smile.

"I really do forgive you now for earlier, I guess the more time I thought about it the more strange I felt about the thought of Jessy and Daniel together. But we shouldn't let those two get in our way of being together, so we are good." I nodded leaning to peck her lips gently.

"Yes perfect." I agreed. "Okay, presents!" I smiled big as I unwrapped the gold paper and flipped the lid off of the box underneath it.

As soon as I pulled out the tissue paper I was left frozen in my spot at the contents inside of the box.

My hand reached in and I pulled out two silver butt plugs. One bigger in size than the other and had a purple jeweled end. "I thought maybe overtime- um-we- or uh I could- uh- you know wear them." I nodded. "For you."

"They're very pretty my love." She smiled looking into the box as I fished out another gift and realized it was a roll of bondage tape. "Ooh," I smirked at her.

I was going to tie her up as soon as I had the chance.

She was going to make all my fantasies come true because the last thing here is something I wasn't ballsy enough to buy myself but had wanted to wear for so long.

The leather grazed my fingers as I slowly brought it up to view. It was the perfect one, not too big or too small, and as I placed it around my neck, I felt myself twitching in my pants.

"I love it. I can't believe you got me my own collar."

See, this is love. Real genuine love. Someone that doesn't try to push away your fantasies but instead embraces them.

"It looks really good on you baby." She said with pure sincerity in her voice, and I didn't feel judged or anything. "I have this outfit coming in a few days that I think we can both enjoy, but for now-" she cleared her that as I set the collar aside. "The butt plugs are a set of three."

"But there's only two in here?" She nodded, standing up and smiling at me before hinting to follow her to the bedroom.

Oh? I see.

Cool.

*

Thanks for reading. Xx

-k