"You're bleeding," Ethan exclaims when we leave the water, and I climb onto the flat rocks where the others are still sitting.

Those are words no girl wants to hear! Ever! Especially not when they come from someone behind her, climbing onto a rock. I'm sure it's about a week too early for my period, but still, I'm on my knees and try to turn over and sit down quickly. It goes impressively wrong because Ethan grabs my foot, pulling it into the air to inspect the back of my heel.

I frown up at him from my uncomfortable reclining position, and then I see the little trickle of blood near his fingers.

"Oh!" It's only my foot! "I thought I felt a little sting when I fell from the big rock earlier. It's nothing."

He is still frowning at the blood as if it showed up specifically to offend him, and then...

"Dude! Did you just kiss her foot?!" Barn laughs his rowdy laugh, the others joining in with exclamations of surprise and some good-natured mocking of their own.

"N-no..." Ethan says, and if I didn't know better, I'd think he was blushing.

"No," I inform the guys, frowning at Ethan. "It's the blood. He was going for the blood. It channelled his inner vampire; he meant to bite me."

"Yeah, she's yummy," he grins, and then he's gathering our clothes together. "Here, get dressed; I'll carry you home."

"What?"

"Dude!" Jet complains. "We called you because we want to go jump from the waterfall and now you want to go home because of a stupid scratch!"

"He's right," I cannot remember another occasion when I've agreed with Jet before, ever. It feels weird. "It's nothing; go jump with them."

Ethan is looking at my face as if he is trying to read subliminal messages tattooed with invisible ink there.

"You're hurt; we should go."

"Oh, my word, Ethy! Like Jet said, it's a scratch. Go jump. If it starts to hurt a lot and a vein bursts and I'm haemorrhaging, I'll... just walk home. I know where it is."

Why is he hesitating? He loves jumping from the waterfall.

"Go on," I say, laughing uncomfortably under his scrutiny.

"Don't do it," Jet says. "It's a trick. Now she's all 'go ahead, Honey, have fun. I'm fine,' and later, when you get home, she's gonna be like, 'no sugar for you tonight, you bastard.'"

"Seriously?" I ask the idiot. He even used weird little voices to represent me. If he's going to try to imitate me, he should at least do a sexy voice. "What would be the point of doing that?"

"Control, dominance. Show him who's the boss," and he isn't even joking. Then I remember that last year he dated Elana Boxer, and that description suddenly sounds about right.

I look up at Ethan, still hesitating on his knees next to my legs.

"Ethy," I give a soft laugh, narrowing my eyes at him, and then, raising my eyebrows, I nod in the direction of the falls, smiling at him. Surely, he doesn't think that I'll do things like that. Besides, he's not getting any sugar... ever.

Does he really think this is some kind of test? He must know me better than that! Besides, the deal is ideal girlfriend and boyfriend, not who's the boss!

"Jet," I ask, in the hope of clarifying to Ethan how stupid this idea is, "if it's all about control, why won't I tell him to take me home right now and deprive him of the fun of trying to kill himself by jumping into deep water from a high rock? That would be the ultimate control."

Jet is thinking it over for a while, staring at me, his pale green eyes unfocused, and I'm suddenly certain that he is not even seeing me right now.

"Yeah, but you want his friends to think that you are a cool girlfriend and not the total manipulative bitch you really are."

I nod my head, puffing out my lips.

"Ethan, go jump off the friggin' rocks and take this dude with you."

"He didn't mean that you're a bitch, Kicks." Ethan laughs. "I don't even think you can spell the word."

Awwww, that was sweet.

"No! Yeah," Jet says, giving me a what-the-hell look. "I didn't mean you... I know you're not like that..."

Good to know.

"Seriously," I mutter. "The sun will be setting, and these guys will still be debating the issue."

I stretch out on the rocks, letting the sun suck the water from my bathing costume. "Have fun."

"Okay, call me if you want to go home," Ethan says, and I turn my head to watch him jog off with his friends.

I wait until he's a few meters away, and then I sit up and shout: "Ethan, I want to go home!"

He stops, turning to look at me, and the confuddled look on his face is priceless. I'm surprised to see that he is actually starting to retrace his steps.

"I was just testing to see if that function works," I laugh, shaking my head. "Go! Go jump!"

Ethan pulls a face and gives me the finger, making me laugh even more.

"He is such a moron," I giggle under my breath, happy that I got him back for some of my suffering at rugby this morning. Taking the lemonade from the cooler bag, I pour some into one of the small plastic glasses I brought and offer it to Tonia. I'm startled to discover that she is watching me with narrowed eyes.

"Thanks," she says, taking it and helping herself to one of the three remaining sandwich halves. Did she not want to eat in front of Lurch? 

That's just weird.

I pour a glass for myself too, and sipping it, I turn my attention to the boys being noisy at the top of the waterfall.

"Aren't you afraid of losing him?" Tonia asks when I'm watching Ethan get ready to jump from the top of the waterfall. Through the years, I've seen him do this a million times. 

What does she mean?

"It's not that high, and there are no hidden rocks under the water, and it's deep enough. You often jump too; do you think it's dangerous?" I've never jumped; it involves two of my least favourite things. Heights and deep water.

Lurch is already in the water, shouting obscenities to his friends, getting ready to jump as well. He finally decides to swim out of the way, and Ethan plunges down, doing the roll-dive thing he always does. It makes my stomach flip-flo uncomfortably, especially now that Tonia pointed out that I might lose him.

"No, it's no more dangerous than jumping from rocks into water should be. That's not what I meant."

"Well, he's kinda big to misplace," I begin, and then I look at Tonia and realise that she is being very serious. She has a wistful look on her face and is waiting for an actual answer. "I'm sorry, Tonia, I really don't... I'm lost. What do you mean?"

She gives me a slight smile and shrugs, looking at my unflattering swimsuit. "Well, you're dressed in that thing, and you played games with him in the water. Your hair is all wet and messed up, you ate what you wanted to, and you've called him gross quite a few times today, and I haven't seen you hug or kiss him even once."

"I'm being myself with him," I frown, feeling a little irritated now. "Will being myself make me lose him? Why?" Am I that unlovable? I give myself a mental shake. This is Ethan we're talking about. I don't need the guy to love me.

Tonia shrugs, looking at Lurch and Ethan climbing from the water. They make a quick stop at our rock. Ethan came to shower me with water from his hair and to give me the shell that he still had in the pocket of his swimming trunks. He kept it safe when he was throwing me off the boulder.

"Oh!" I gasp, taking my treasure. "Oh, good, it's still whole!"

"Yes, it's perfect for her collection," he smiles, and then he is scrambling from the rock and taking off to the waterfall again. Lurch made a pit stop to get his oil changed... or to inspect Tonia's face with his mouth to see if her lips are still there. I'm not sure. It's making me a little uncomfortable, and I'm relieved when he finally decides to unstick himself from his girlfriend's lips and jog after Ethan, who is already halfway to the waterfall again.

"I didn't mean it like that," Tonia says. "I mean, it's like you are friends too, not just romantically involved. You even called him a moron just now."

"He is one..." I blink my eyes, giggling self-consciously. "I mean it in an endearing way. Ethan and I are not friends; hell, I can barely stand the-," I catch myself, take a sip of my lemonade and shrug. "I guess we're just not focusing so much on the whole romance side of things. We're trying to build something real, not something passionate one moment and gone the next."

Well, that is weirdly true.

"He found you a shell and is treating it like it's something important; that's... sweet. He's different with you than with the other girls he'd dated."

I'll say!

I smile, holding the shell out for her to see.

"My mom collected shells; she had a chart of all the shells she wanted to find. I went through her box of shells and compared them with her chart to see what is missing, and when Ethan found out that I was trying to sort them and display them in some way, he built me trays with compartments, and my dad mounted them on our living room wall. Each compartment has a picture from her charts. Delia, Ethan and I are trying to fill the compartments for my mom."

I glance across the water, where Ethan is either dancing or wrestling with Barn at the top of the waterfall.

"He always finds the best ones in weird places," I smile and then, feeling silly, sharing such a personal story with a girl I barely know, I clear my throat. "Are you saying that you cannot be yourself around Lurch?"

Tonia listened to my story with a gentle smile on her face, but then she stares at the fragments of lemon pulp floating in her glass, and when she looks up again, she seems to be really sad.

"I wish I could. I wish we were focusing on building something real rather than physical... especially in public," she sighs, biting her lip. "I wanted to go to the beach and paint today, but I know if I don't go with him wherever he wants to go whenever he wants, he'll just find someone who will."

That is the saddest thing I've ever heard.

"Are you sure?" I ask, and she just shrugs, quietly eating her sandwich, watching the boys. It doesn't really sound like Lurch, but then I've never tried to date him.

"Tonia, I don't get it. I've never really dated anybody, and Ethan and I are... uhm... new in all this, so I'm a bit clueless, but why would you want to be with someone with whom you can never be yourself? What's the point?"

Today, I've seen her starve herself, sit and sweat on the rocks just so that she can look good, posing on her towel. The bridge pool incident hasn't even succeeded in ruining her hairstyle. The thick brown tresses are still framing her face in cheeky waves and ringlets, almost reaching her shoulders. The effect is carefree and fun, but looking into Tonia's warm brown eyes, I see nothing carefree nor fun in them.

"If one person gets all his needs met and the other one is always the one compromising and giving, then it's not a relationship; it's indentured servitude. Why bother?"

We turn our heads when we hear a whoop from the boys and see Lurch doing a double jump with Ethan, their bodies beautifully synchronised. I've seen them do this more times than I can count, and it never ceases to amaze me how lithe and beautiful they are.

"I love him," Tonia says simply and drains her glass.

♂♀