"Ethan, I'm really happy that you've finally managed to get Kira to say yes to being your girlfriend," my father says, and I can sense the big fat but hanging in the air between us. I'm glad I've swallowed the last bite of Mom's pumpkin fritters because I'm sure I'm about to lose my appetite.

"But?" I prompt when he calmly eats his lamb chop, not saying anything further.

"Not exactly a 'but", Son, just a cautioning," he shrugs, taking a sip of his water. "Kira is very innocent, and she is Joe's only child and very dear to me and your mother, and you-."

"Wow!" I huff, sitting back, scowling at my father with not completely fake horror. "You're going to give me the castration speech you gave Simon!"

Next to me, Simon chokes on his spleen, and while I pat him on the back to save his life, my dad becomes the one doing the scowling, and I don't think he is faking his horror at all.

"It wasn't a castration speech, Ethan," Dad grumbles. "I was merely stressing how important it is for him to treat your sister with respect, and that is what I'm trying to tell you about Kira."

"Yup, Dad, I heard the speech and castration was definitely implied," I assure my father, ignoring my mother blowing bubbles in her water, trying not to follow Simon's example by choking on the sip she's taking. "Just so you know, if you castrate Simon, you are only gambling with your chances of becoming a granddad because he might not actually end up marrying Deli."

"Hey!" Apparently, my sister doesn't like my logic.

"If you castrate me," I continue, pretending that I didn't notice her trying to kick me under the table, only to connect with her dear Simon's shin, making the poor guy flinch. Honestly, I don't know why the dude still has dinner with us sometimes. "You are not just taking a gamble; you are definitely not getting any grandchildren."

"I'm not castrating Delia," Dad points out because he likes being annoyingly logical too.

"Can girls be castrated?"

"And Simon hasn't done anything to inspire castration... yet..." he continues as if I didn't just ask a valid question, and now Simon is looking a little green around the gills, making me wonder about him. At the start of his relationship with Deli, I also threatened the guy with castration. He is in the presence of his two worst enemies... if he did anything to my sister that he shouldn't be doing.

I'm still not all that clear on the whole tea towel-wearing, Shakespeare-speaking thing. He had better not tame our shrew, or he is going to feel my wrath... which might be worse than my father's. I stop glaring at Simon when Delia throws a rumpled serviette at me. At least she'd now learned her lesson about trying to be violent at the table.

All of this brings me to a very important fact.

"Dad, if I do anything to harm Kicks or ruin her life, I'll castrate myself. Why would I protect her from every boy out there just to be the one to take advantage of her?"

"Could you all just please call it something else?" Mom finally found her voice, and she is squeezing Dad's hand hard enough to snap his fingers. "Castration is not a pleasant word to use at the table."

"Neuter then?" Delia offers, giggling when Mom uses her free hand to tousle her hair rather roughly.

"Good," Dad tells me as if the love of his life is not trying to cripple his hand. "I'm glad we're on the same page."

"Awesome, I always enjoy reading with you, Dad," I grin. "Thanks, Mom; dinner was great as usual. Do you mind if I leave the table now? I want to shower quickly and head over to my in-laws'."

"Enjoy your second dinner," Mom smiles, now tenderly stroking the fingers she'd been trying to remove from my father's hand a few seconds ago.

"Say hi to Joe," Dad grins, reaching out to punch my shoulder almost playfully, but I can feel the subtle threat in the gesture. He really needn't worry; I'll behave around Kira... probably...

Deciding that my dad has the right idea, I give Simon's shoulder a punch too and to his credit, he gives me a nod of acknowledgement, message received. Simon and I understand each other really well. I should probably be punching my sister instead since she is more of a danger to Sy than he is to her, but a narrow-eyed look at her obstinate face will have to do. I don't think I've ever punched a girl, though Delia claims I beat her up in the womb all the time... which is why she bullies me now to get even...

Upstairs in my bathroom, I take the fastest shower ever taken by a human being lacking in Superman's speed powers and carelessly wrap a towel around my waist before I enter my bedroom. It's a habit born back when I had to walk down the hallway from the bathroom to my bedroom, and I'm really grateful that it stuck because I'm about to drop the towel when I notice Kira standing petrified in her bedroom across from mine.

The distance between our rooms is not far at all; she will not be able to miss any details, and she's already made it clear that she does not want to see any of my details. Right now, she is looking particularly horrified to find me half naked within her view. To be honest, it's a little insulting. I can see her struggling to choose between running away, closing her drapes and hiding under her bed. 

Deciding to put her out of her misery, I cover the two steps I'm still away from my window, and taking the one panel of my curtains in my hand, I pull it across to the centre of the window. To make sure she gets what I'm doing, hiding away all my offensive body parts, I gesture for her to see the drawn curtain before I pull the other one closed too.

I smile to myself when I hear her shout, "Thank you", and shove a hand between the two curtain sections to give her a thumbs up. Hopefully, she will now realise that I am actually a civilized... a semi-civilized guy who takes her feelings into account.

Honestly, I'm a bit nervous about going over there tonight. I've done it a million times over the years, but tonight is different. I'm Kira's boyfriend now. Will Uncle Joe still accept me as his friend, or will he start to glare at me the way Dad glares at poor Simon?

I know Uncle Joe loves me, but maybe not as Kira's boyfriend, though I've told him hundreds of times that I'm one day going to marry his daughter, and he never seemed to have an issue with that. He once told me that he already knew that because I made it pretty clear in fourth grade when I officially asked his permission to marry his daughter... on stage... in front of the school, and he said yes. I was really into my role.

Still, my dad actually likes Simon too, but it doesn't stop him from terrorizing the poor guy. Will Uncle Joe terrorize me now? Will I notice? I hope I act scared and intimidated enough.

At first, I'm not sure what to wear. Am I supposed to dress up? It's not actually a date, but... Wow, when have stupid things like deciding what to wear to a game night with Uncle Joe suddenly become so complicated? Normally, I would shove my hand into my closet and grab stuff to cover all the sections of my body that need to be covered to be acceptable to society.

Grunting, I finally put on some old denim shorts, and in the spirit of honesty and building trust with my father-in-law, I pull on one of my favourite T-shirts, a present from Burlap for my last birthday. It is a grainy green one with the words "never leave me unsupervised" printed on the front.

Dad told me to wear it all the time because it could save him a lot of headaches if people were always warned in advance.

♂

Kira and Uncle Joe are about to sit at their kitchen table when I open their kitchen door and invite myself inside the way I've done millions of times over the last 12 years. I've brought a couple of Uncle Joe's favourite games so that we can have a nice variety in combination with the ones he owns.

Even though I've just had a really good dinner at my place, my mouth waters at the smell of jalapeños and savoury mince. Kira made cottage pie, Uncle Joe's and my favourite dish. She just placed a jug of homemade lemonade on the table, and seeing her face, I'm suddenly hit by a truckload of memories and sensations of standing here by this very door, tasting Kira's soft lips for the first time, savouring their sweetness.

Now, I cannot breathe, and I've lost half my brain cells.

"Hello," I croak, just staring at her, swallowing hard against the tightness in my throat. I think I need my dad to remind me of the details of that castration speech because I cannot remember it anymore. "Am I too early?"

"If you came for dinner, you're right on time, Buddy," Uncle Joe grins, clearly surprised by my weird question. Since when does it matter? I often have a second dinner here. It's a given if I'm invited for game night. There is already a place laid at the table for me.

When I close the door and continue to give Kira uncertain looks, she raises an eyebrow and tilts her head in question. Yeah, she's right; I'm acting weird, so taking a deep breath, I walk to the table and put the games down on it in a clear area.

"Be right back," Uncle Joe says, changing his mind about sitting down. Instead, he strolls from the kitchen, through the adjoining dining room and into the living room on its other side.

"Hey," I say, taking the seat across from Kira's and giving her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Kicks. Your dad messaged me, asking if I wanted to come over and play some games with him. I should've cleared it with you first."

"Why?" she asks, frowning at me, and I think what I said really confused and startled her. "Do I now have to clear it with you each time I want to see Dell or your mom?"

That's a good point!

Kicks and Deli are best friends, and my mom is like a mother to her. I hang out with Uncle Joe whenever neither of us has to be up early in the morning. We've always been 100% welcome in each other's homes, any day, any time. I'm being weird.

Pulling a face, I push the fingers of one hand through my hair, plucking it away from my scalp to stand up in tufts. Did I remember to brush it after towelling it dry? I cannot remember; I was so busy stressing about my outfit, like a friggin teenager going on his first date. Well, too late to worry about that now.

"No, your relationship with them doesn't have anything to do with me..." I assure her. I don't want our relationships with each other's families to change at all. That would be a disaster.

"Exactly," she smiles, and the sun that has already done a pretty good job of setting on this day suddenly rises in my heart. I love Kira's smile; it always radiates out of her, touching everything in its path with golden light. "Your relationship with Daddy is your own thing; it has nothing to do with me or with our... with us... with what we're trying... it's yours. I'll never interfere in that."

Hearing her fall over her words and seeing her struggle to look at me is both endearing and makes me a bit sad. I smile at her, trying to put her at ease. "Why is it so hard for you to say it, Kicks?"

"Say what?" She asks, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"Our relationship."

She is literally squirming now; if she keeps on moving around like that, her chair is going to skitter away with her, out the kitchen and down the hallway. Perhaps I shouldn't have pushed her to say it; she is freaking out now. I'm glad when the mellow tones of Gerry Rafferty's Baker Street interrupt the suddenly tense silence in the kitchen, and Uncle Joe returns to the table.

https://youtu.be/dU6w56epBdc

"So," he says, taking his seat at the short side of the table so that he is sitting at right angles to both Kira and me. "How was rugby this morning?"

"It was good, thanks. We won... just," I tell him, spooning cottage pie onto his plate, and when Kira holds her plate out to me, I heap some onto her plate too. I grin, looking at her face. I cannot help it; seeing Kicks always makes me really happy. "Kira offered to make fudge for St. Albany's blindside flanker," I tease.

"He certainly blindsided you multiple times," she grumbles, helping herself to some salad.

"You're going to make us some fudge?" Uncle Joe asks, clearly liking the idea a lot.

Before I go home tonight, I will check the cupboards to see what ingredients they don't have. I have a vague idea of what goes in it because a couple of years back, when Kira came with Deli and me to visit my cousin, she helped Hunter's friend, Tanner (yeah, the sexy one with the sexy voice, according to Wendy), perfect a recipe they found online. I was supervising because... well, it was Tanner, the sexy one with the sexy voice. I did not want to leave that dude alone with my Kicks.

Still, the end result was sheer heaven.

"Are you guys sure you're not secretly related?" Kira frowns, looking from Uncle Joe to me, and I remember saying something similar to her this morning. "We don't have all the ingredients," she sighs, seeing the hopeful look on our faces.

"I'll just have to get some then," Uncle Joe and I say in one voice, chuckling about how synchronised we are, but Kira is not impressed by our performance; she just grunts and rolls her eyes, but I don't miss the twinkle in them. We are so going to get fudge. Yay!

"Good shell you got today, Ethe," Uncle Joe remarks after saying grace, and I tell him all about his daughter directing me to dive for the shell but sending me off in all the wrong directions. She just shrugs and quietly eats her food, smiling slightly while she listens to our conversation.

A frown draws her brows together when I show Uncle Joe my latest rugby bruise, and I'm relieved that though he looks unhappy seeing it, he doesn't stop eating to do some knocking on my chest and other weird experiments too. Unlike my dad, Uncle Joe has some strange equipment he could use on me to see if my ribs are okay... and if an alien is living in there.

After I assure him that I'm more than fine, we chat about his work project, and he is the only person on this planet who can make experiments with light waves sound even vaguely interesting to me, mostly because he becomes so animated and passionate about it. He makes transverse waves sound like the love children of mating electric and magnetic fields.

It's fascinating. I have no idea why he is playing with light waves, but I know it is important because the company he works for gets government funding for their work... and my dad said it's essential. Fine! I have no idea what he does or why he does it, I just love listening to him talking about it.

I liked Uncle Joe from the first time I met him. It was after the girls and I got home from our first day of school, and our Moms and Uncle Joe were chatting by the fence separating our yards. Kira and Delia were hanging around too, and my mom was fussing over Kira, and how cute she was and how sweet and everything that I now know is true but then thought was a crock. My mom was as happy to meet her as Deli was, which pissed me off again. Kicks was stealing all the women in my life!

Earlier that week, I broke a window playing cricket with Lurch. As punishment, I had to water the flower beds every afternoon, so I was dutifully suffering my punishment and well... I sprayed Kira with our hose. I wanted her to chill her biscuits and stick to her own mom. Our mothers were shocked, and since we were all virtually strangers, mom shouted at me to stop.

Aunt Trudy didn't know what to do and said something about it just being some water and that she was sure I wouldn't do it again. I think she didn't want to start off on a sour note with her new neighbours. She was a rather nice woman.

When I saw Uncle Joe narrow his eyes, looking at me, I thought he was furious and was going to demand that my mother deals with me or something, the way Mr. Appleby always did when I had swordfights with his mailbox... and scratched it a bit.

Come on, the thing looked like a knight... it had a sword... and I swear, it was always mocking me... What was a boy supposed to do?

I already regretted spraying Kira, just like I regretted shoving her into the puddle at school. She was standing there, dripping wet, glaring at me with bright green eyes, and I thought she was about to tell our parents what I did to her at school. She didn't, though; she just assured me again that she hated me.

To this day, she has never told them.

I didn't know what to think when Uncle Joe unrolled their garden hose, which is always ready and connected to their tap near the fence. Without saying anything, he handed Kira the trigger head and calmly, as though he was teaching her how to use a spoon, showed her how to direct it at me and activate it to spray me, which she did... with passion.

At first, I was startled, but it was really hot that day, and the water actually felt so good. Surprised by the deluge, I sprayed Uncle Joe too, and he took the nozzle from Kira, who was giggling by then. We had a full-on war, with Mom standing there, blinking in confusion, with the two girls and Aunt Trudy laughing at us.

After that, I often played with Uncle Joe, though he has always been terrible at anything related to balls or running. He still tried.

A year later, Aunt Trudy passed away after getting hit by lightning during a nasty electrical storm. It was a horrible time. Kira cried all day, every day, and Uncle Joe lost all his spark and laughter. He hardly spoke to anybody except the people he had to speak to, to make funeral arrangements, deal with insurance companies and so on. When the funeral was over, he retreated into himself.

Mom made sure to feed Kira and her dad, and we all looked after Kicks, but Uncle Joe just sat in his study listening to sad music, staring out in front of him. He was completely devastated, and I heard my parents talk about how worried they were about him and how they had no idea how to bring him back to life. They thought that if they gave him enough time, he'd snap out of it by himself, but I was scared that he would never be able to do it. I missed him, and I knew that Kicks missed him too.

She needed her dad, and he needed her.

One day, I gathered my courage and barged into his study with my gaming console and begged him to play some games with me. At first, he just looked at me as if he didn't know who I was or why I was being noisy in his study, but the one thing I knew about Uncle Joe, above anything else, and was counting on, was how kind he was.

Even when I did stupid things that caused damage to their property, he always patiently explained to me why what I did was not a good idea and then got me to help him make repairs. He became one of my best friends. I met the Crofts after my Aunt Misty died, and at the time, I barely saw my Uncle Ryan because they moved to Briar Cove. Uncle Joe soon filled the void he left as my favourite uncle. He still holds that place, even though I now see Uncle Ryan much more often and am close with him too.

Uncle Joe wasn't in the mood for company or games, and we'd never played on the console together before, but he couldn't bring himself to turn down my invitation. He probably saw how much I wanted to spend time with him and how much I was missing him... and realised that he was not going to be able to get rid of me by saying no.

He listlessly gave in and said yes to a couple of rounds of a racing game. Since it worked, I came over almost every day and got him to play with me again. I used to bring my console and some games and sometimes got him out of the house to the waterfall or to play ball. Dad joined us whenever he could, and sometimes the other guys also played with us.

One day, Uncle Joe called me to their house and showed me that he got his own console and a couple of games because he realised that he liked playing virtual soccer more than actual soccer, and that way, I didn't have to carry my console around.

After many weeks he finally started to laugh again and became the one suggesting we have fun together. Kira also began to come out of her shell, and life returned to more or less normal. As normal as it could get. During that time, the bond between Uncle Joe and me became even stronger than it had been before. He became like a second father to me.

And here we are now, our discussions, as always, unravelling into banter and trash talk about who is going to beat who when we're playing games later.

"You're going down tonight, Old Man," I chuckle.

"Smell my socks, Boy," Uncle Joe scoffs, "it's the closest thing to pure perfection you're going to get a whiff of tonight," I swear, he has the best comebacks! Sometimes, they even make sense.

Grinning, I glance at Kira and am happy to see her smiling fondly. When Uncle Joe and I just started to get close, she was as jealous of my relationship with her dad as I was of her growing bond with Deli and my mom, but my jealousy didn't last long because I started to love Kira. Hers didn't last all that long either because she realised that sometimes Uncle Joe needed male company. I guess she just loved seeing her dad happy, laughing and talking garbage.

I know, I do.

Enjoying the delicious food Kira made and her father's amusing company while being able to look at her happily eating, giggling at her dad's dry jokes, I feel the warmth of contentment fill my heart.

This is perfection; this is where I belong.

♂♀