(Edited/Fixed 9/18/17)

[Josh's p.o.v]

I woke up, feeling cold.

I felt like something was missing.

Something was missing in this picture.

Tyler.

I hoped to wake up next to his beauty- but that didn't happen.

I got up from the bed, looking around.

I walked to the bathroom, looking for some sort of hint that Tyler was okay, and he left for valid reasons.

I opened the mirror and saw a piece of paper with my name written on it.

Josh,

I ended up leaving this morning at 7:30
I didn't want to risk anything, just in case your mother came home. I didn't know when she was going to get home, so I just played it safe.

Sorry Joshie :(

-Tyler

I had a nickname?

'Joshie'...

I couldn't help but to feel a little bit turned on over the nickname.

We are just friends.. why would he give me a nickname.

Do friends do that?

I noticed he also left his number at the bottom- it made me smile that he did that.

I grabbed the note and walked back to the guest bedroom, picking up my phone from off of the table. I opened my contacts up and put the number in. I debated on if I should text him or call him.

I decided to call him.

I pushed the call button and brought my phone up to my ear.

"Hello, who is this?"

That was Kelly.

"This is Brendon.."

"Oh hello Brendon. New number?"

"Yeah!"

"Tyler left his phone down here on the counter, let me go give the phone to him,"

I took a deep breath and said:

"Okay.."

Nice save Josh.

"Hello?"

I heard his angelic voice.

"Brendon??"

"Its not Brendon,"

I heard a sweet gasp escape from his mouth and it blew into the phone.

"Who is this?"

"Josh.."

I could just hear his smile through the phone.

"Im glad you found the note, I was afraid you wouldn't."

"Im glad I did too."

I smiled to myself deeply, but sobbing inside.

Why?

I could feel my heart breaking.

And I don't know why.

Was I getting anxiety? Depression?

"Hey Tyler,"

"Yeah?"

"How do you know when your depressed or anxiety is getting a hold of you?" I bit my lip, knowing I shouldn't have said anything.

"W-well.. when your thoughts start turning on you and your thoughts become negative.."

"Oh.. thanks."

So.. I did have anxiety. Depression isn't quite there yet.

"Why? What's going on Josh?"

"I have anxiety.."

"That's not possible.. your such a caring person.."

"Nothing's impossible"

My eyes started to water, tears brimming my eyes.

"I have to go Tyler.."

"Okay c-"

I hung up.

I started to cry as I felt some thing rip at my thoughts. I brought my hands up to my hair and clenched fist fulls of hair and tugged tightly. I sobbed, knowing something had a hold of me.

I've heard of many cases of depression- weather that is just depressing thoughts or depressing actions; suicidal actions..

I'd never do that..

At least I hope not....

You will eventually..

I snapped my head around and looked At my surrounding. I heard a voice.. but no one was here.

You will be like all the others, Joshua.

It sounded familiar.. but deeper.

It sounded like Tyler..  but very deep.

I started up crying again and fell to the floor, curling up. I sobbed against the floor, looking at the carpet.

I was in my living room.. near the door.. beside the couch.

I looked at the white pure carpet. I stared at it for a second. An image flashed. The carpet was red. Red as blood.

I looked at my arms and they were bleeding. Red as blood.

Bleeding onto the carpet.

I closed my eyes quickly and I was back to sobbing on a pure white carpet.

I almost didn't want to leave.

I didn't want to leave this spot.

But I know I have to.

I have to leave to school.

I have to leave to see Tyler.

I have to leave because this is the apartment I'd only be staying in 5 days of the week.

I'd be seeing my father on the weekends now.

Why? I don't know.

I have to leave when I die.

I will have to leave.

No. No. I'll be oka-

Gone.

There he is again.

I will have to be gone?

Am I a goner?

I'm Gone.

A/N

My new cover is so messed up... >->

Sorry I got upset and decided to do that..

Idk why I decided to post it. O well :)

I will be getting a new cover from _twentygaypilots_

Thanks fren:)

Stay alive|-/ Stay Street. 👽