!¡ Trigger Warnings; attempted suicide ¡!

Yay for the first time writing in present tense!

Jeff Sterling is a fairly calm and collected kind of guy... most of the time. It's only occasional, but he does have a tendency to overreact sometimes.

Now, however, is not one of those times.

"You're being selfish!" Jeff throws his hands in the air, watching Kurt roll his eyes and turn so his back is facing Jeff.

"No, I'm not. I deserved that solo. Not you, or Nick."

"We deserve it just as much as you do, Kurt!"

"Why? You've been at this school much longer, I'm sure you've had solos before."

"Yes, but only small ones when the Warblers decided to broadcast every voice." Jeff cries exasperatedly.

"But I haven't had any solos here. None at all."

"Yeah, but-" he's cut off by his phone vibrating in his pocket, he sighs in annoyance but pulls it out anyway, smiling when he sees his best friend's face smiling up at him.

Kurt is now facing him so Jeff sees him open his mouth to speak but Jeff holds up a hand to silence the boy, pressing answer on his phone and raising it to his ear, "Hey Nicky."

Kurt rolls his eyes and slumps down into a chair close to him.

Jeff frowns as fast breathing seeps down into his ears through his phone, "Nicky, you okay?"

There's no answer, the only evidence that his friend is still there is the quick breath, hitching every now and then.

"Nick? Answer me."

The voice that finally croaks out his name is weak and quiet, "Jeff-"

"What's wrong?" Jeff can feel Kurt's eyes on him now, he can feel the piercing blue turning to a darker shade of worry, but he doesn't care right now. All that matters is that Nick has  started to sob violently into his ear, "Nick?"

"I'm sor-sorry, I'm s-so s-sorry." The boy's voice is broken up by the strength of his sobs.

"Where are you?"

"B-bathroom."

Jeff understands immediately and is out of the room before Kurt can get so much as a noise out.

"I-I'm so sorry. I don't- don't- don't-"

"Shh, it's okay. I'm on my way. Try to stay calm, okay? Try to take deep breaths. Can you do that for me?"

The boy's sobs continue to grow louder and stronger, "I-I don't kn-know what I was thinking. I'm sorry. It h-hurts."

Jeff's heart drops to his stomach and his stomach drops out of his body, "Nick, what have you done?"

"I'm sorry." The boy cries desperately, "I'm so, so, s-so sorry."

"It's okay, you're going to be okay." Jeff can't quite tell who he's reassuring, "Deep breaths, remember?"

There's no reply but Jeff can hear the rapid breathing in his ear become heavier but slower.

He sighs heavily, runs a hand through his messy blonde hair and starts his car which he'd been making his way to ever since he'd realised where Nick is.

A million thoughts run through his head but he forces himself to concentrate on getting to Nick as quick as possible while still being safe, it would be quite helpful if at least one of them was in an okay state.

About 5 minutes later, Jeff leaps out of his car and runs up to Nick's front door, lifting up a loose tile in the paved path to their front door and picking up the spare key to Nick's house. He unlocks the door and is immediately sprinting up the stairs to Nick's bedroom once the door is closed behind him.

He realises with distracted thought that his phone is still held close to his ear but isn't concentrated enough to comprehend or notice that there is no sound coming from the other side. He ends the phone call the second he's outside Nick's door and barges in.

He looks wildly around his friend's room, pausing briefly to take in the pillow laying by the door and the scrunched up blankets before he's jogging across the raven-haired boy's room and pulling open the ensuite bathroom door.

The first thing he sees is a few splashes of red littering the carpet by the bathtub before his eyes fully take in the scene in front of him.

In the porcelain bath tub lies his best friend of 14 years, his eyes shut and his skin completely white. He's surrounded by red stained water and Jeff's eyes widen and he gasps quietly before he's on his knees, sobbing violently and trying his hardest to pull his friend out of the tub.

He fails many times until he gives up and reaches into his back pocket for his phone before realising it's not there. He curses loudly and runs back into Nick's bedroom and half way down the stairs and back up before finding it lying on the floor beside Nick's bedroom door. He dials 911 and holds it to his ear as he stumbles back to the bathroom and pulls Nick's head into his arms, the boy's eyes flickering only halfway open to stare up at Jeff, a wave of relief rushing over the blonde.

"Hold on, Nicky." Jeff whispers, his lips pressed closed to his friend's head, "Please don't close your eyes just yet."

991 picks up and Jeff talks to them for a while before they come to an agreement that an ambulance will be there as soon as possible. He's told to try and keep his friend's eyes open and to try take his attention off of the situation at hand.

He hooks his arms under his friend's arms and tugs, the boy finally slipping out of the tub and into Jeff's arms after a few minutes of struggling.

"Nick." Jeff whispers, the boy opening his eyes in reply, "Nick, can- can you sing me a song?"

Nick whimpers and shakes his head slowly before realising that takes too much effort and makes him dizzy so he buries his head into Jeff's chest instead.

"Please, Nicky." Jeff sniffs, "I just really want to hear your voice."

There's no reply and for a while they're just two broken boys lying in each other's arms, like so many nights when they'd comforted each other.

And then Nick begins to sing. At first Jeff is sure he's imagining the sound because it's so quiet, the fact that it's muffled by Jeff's shirt not helping at all.

Eventually Nick gives up, shaking his head again and burying his head further into his friend's chest and inhaling.

Jeff begins rocking them both, his chest heaving and his breath coming out in short pants in his efforts to remain strong for Nick.

He begins to sing quietly, his voice breaking and hiccuping on every second word.

Friend, please remove your hands from
Over your eyes for me
I know you want to leave but
Friend, please don't take your life away from me

Eventually he's being dragged away, and a pair of strong and rough arms wrap themselves around him, preventing him from getting to Nick who is currently being aided into a wheelchair and carried downstairs and into an ambulance. He's allowed into the ambulance with his friend but he wishes he hadn't been.

The sight of his friend looking completely pale and lifeless with eyelids resting together peacefully despite the pain the boy must be experiencing is all too much. He's being put under anaesthetic and his wrists are wrapped up in many layers of bandages. But Jeff can't tear his eyes away from his friend's face. The boy looks so peaceful and, not happy, but content. He looks as if he's just won a battle or accomplished something he'd been fighting for so long for.

It isn't fair, really. It isn't fair that the most beautiful people are the ones who can't see their own beauty. It isn't fair that the strongest and bravest people are the ones who believe they're weak. It isn't fair that some of the world's most amazing people suffer in silent agony for far too long and stay strong for far too long that one day it becomes all too much and they decide all of their fighting isn't worth it. It isn't fair that all of the best people go first.

Jeff can't quite remember how or when, but at some point he's sat in a hospital room, his hand covering his mouth as he stares blankly at the wall.

The flashing lights he'd strained his eyes against in the ambulance are replaced by blinding white walls and the screaming sirens which had rung in his ears are now replaced by deafening silence.

He feels completely and utterly useless as his eyes drop to watch the rise and fall of his friend's chest and the way his nose twitches in his sleep. He watches the different expressions that cross the boy's face as he dreams of who knows what. But the one thing he can't shake is how peaceful the boy had looked in the ambulance. Now his eyelids, previously resting gently against each other, are screwed up tightly and his eyebrows that had laid neatly against his forehead are now knotted into a frown. The lips, slightly upturned at the corners have disappeared and are now replaced by a sort of toned down grimace.

He looks damaged, his pale skin and his damp black hair cling to him and he frowns, as if he's been locked up inside his own body. His lips are parted and shallow puffs of air come out between them, creating the only sound in the room. His lips- Jeff looks away, squeezing his eyes shut tight and shaking his head.

His lips are blue. They look cold but warm at the same time, inviting but rough. They look as if they're fighting a war against an unbeatable opponent. Jeff can't quite make out what side they're on; life or death's. He can't tell if they're fighting to breathe the oxygen in or block it out.

Jeff isn't entirely sure how long he sits there, watching his friend's pained expression. But it must have been quite a while because eventually a nurse comes in and asks if he wants anything to eat, after all, he's missed lunch and supper.

He accepts her offer, more for the distraction rather than actually because he's hungry.

He's only been eating for 5 minutes when a hysteric woman with long black hair comes hurtling into the room. Jeff looks up, food hanging out of his mouth as he stared at the woman who takes one look at the boy in the hospital bed and breaks down crying. Jeff briefly recognises the woman as Nick's mother. Jeff hasn't seen her in years.

Jeff is shaken out of his stunned state and quickly swallows the food in his mouth. He slides down onto his knees to wrap an arm around the woman, comforting her and rocking the both of them.

"Oh, Jeff." The woman sighs, standing up and dabbing at her cheeks, wiping her tears away.

Jeff stands up too and the both of them turn to watch Nick.

"He looks so small." Jeff hears the woman mutter next to him before she's turning to face Jeff and wrapping her arms around the boy's neck, "Thank you so much, Jeff. My baby boy probably wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for you."

Jeff nods, unable to form any words as he sinks back down into his seat and resumes watching his best friend's chest rise and fall. Jeff doesn't think Nick will be as grateful when he finds out that Jeff is the one who saved him.

Shaking his head, Jeff picks up his food and stares down at it for a long time before pushing it back onto the table. He's lost his appetite completely and forcing food down isn't going to make him feel any better.

It's about 2 hours later, at exactly 3:45am when Nick begins to move, moaning quietly. Nick's Mom is out of the room the second Nick's head turns so Jeff is left to watch his friend open his eyes slowly and blink blearily at him.

"Hi." The boy says in a raspy voice.

That voice makes Jeff want to cry, he never thought that one word could bring him more relief than he'd ever experienced in his life. Nick is okay, he's going to be okay.

"Hi." Jeff smiles back, scooting his chair forward a bit so he can be closer to his friend, "How're you feeling?"

"I- I don't know." The boy frowns, looking down curiously at his bandaged wrists, "It wasn't a dream."

It was a statement rather than a question but Jeff answers anyway, "No, it wasn't."

Nick looks up at his friend, "It was you. Y-you were the one who found me."

"I- yes, it was me."

Nick doesn't answer but just nods instead, closing his eyes gently.

"Nick, please don't close your eyes." Jeff whispers, watching Nick open his eyes to look at him, "I really want to see- I mean, the- the doctors need to rest you while you're awake."

Nick nods slowly again, turning so the left side of his face rests on the pillow as he stares into Jeff's eyes.

Finally a doctor and a nurse come rushing in, followed by Nick's Mom who begins to cry again as she takes in the scene before her. Her son staring into the eyes of his best friend. Her son's best friend who had rescued her son. It was too much to take.

The doctor and nurse hurries forward, checking Nick. The only thing Jeff can understand is that they check Nick's temperature, and then it gets a bit too complicated and Jeff turns his attention away to look at Nick who still hasn't looked away from him.

Jeff smiled warmly down at his best friend who curls the corners of his lips up slightly. Jeff's heart flutters at the way his friend is watching him. He can't quite understand what it is, but there's something different behind Nick's eyes as he watches him. It makes Jeff nervous but happy at the same time.

It's 3 days later when Nick is allowed to go home and Jeff is right there, helping him into the car, holding his hand tightly on the journey home and then helping him out of the car and into the living room where he collapsed into the sofa with a breathy laugh.

"Jeff, I'm fine. I'm not going to break, you don't need to help me do everything." He giggles at Jeff's appalled face.

"But Nicholas, I enjoy helping you."

Nick rolls his eyes but pats the seat next to him anyway, Jeff perching on the edge of the seat, ready to jump up if needs be.

Nick sighs heavily and reaches out a hand to pull Jeff further down into the seat.

Jeff laughs and finally settles down next to Nick who grins at him.

"D'you wanna watch a movie?" Jeff smiles, picking up the remote and aiming it at the TV.

Eventually they decide on Die Hard, Nick moving to rest his head on Jeff's shoulder.

"It's so nice to watch something that isn't Disney." Nick mutters.

"Yeah, it's certainly different without Blaine here." Jeff whispers back and the pair of them dissolve into fits of laughter.

Once they've calmed down, Jeff smiles at his friend who smiles back, "Thank you." Nick whispers.

"For what?"

"For saving me." Nick looks down at his hands which are resting in his lap, his eyes travel up to his wrists which are now stitched up but still wrapped in bandages, "I- if it wasn't for you, I probably wouldn't be here right now and I don't know if- I would've missed out on so much. And I don't know if it was worth it to give this all up."

Jeff nods, a smile on his lips, "That's all I've wanted to hear." Nick looks up to frown at Jeff so the boy continues, "I was just- I was worried that you'd be angry at you because I saved you."

Nick nods sadly, "I was to start with. When I saw you in the hospital room the first time I woke up, I was angry. I was so mad at you for saving me. I thought I'd done it, I thought it was all over. But now that I've had time to think, I've realised that you were only doing it for me and, more than that, I've realised that I'm actually happy that you saved me. So, thank you. I owe my life to you, literally."

"You don't owe me anything." Jeff smiles.

"Can I at least give you something in return?" Nick asks and Jeff nods slowly.

Nick smiles and leans forward, placing a soft kiss on Jeff's lips. Jeff freezes and Nick pulls away, blushing and looking down at his hands again until Jeff hooks a finger under his chin and pulls him forward to connect their lips again.

They kiss slowly, each of them revelling in the contact they'd both been longing for for so long. It's nothing more than just a press of the lips, they have all the time in the world to go further. But for now, it's enough to just know they both care.

A couple hours later, the rest of the Warblers arrive, some carrying gifts and others going straight in for a hug, pulling Nick into their arms and whispering their own messages to him.

They all tiptoe around Nick and it briefly annoys him before he remembers that they're not doing it to annoy him, they're doing it because they care about him and he knows now how lucky he is to have so many people who love him for who he is.

He may or may not be longing for some more private time with just Jeff but that can wait. They have all the time in the world now.

He catches Jeff's eye every now and then and they both share a bashful yet adoring smile and each time it happens, Nick can feel the butterflies flutter around in his stomach. Jeff, and the rest of the Warblers, are there for him, not for anything else, just for him. Because they care about him. And that's all he could ever ask for.

Eh that ending was terrible but yeh. YAY FOR NIFF!

Holy moly me oh my, this was 3000 words. That's the longest I've ever written whoopoopppp. It's always the longest chapter title I've ever written oops.

This was inspired by Friend, Please by Twenty One Pilots.
And the part where Jeff sings is the last verse where Tyjo sings rlly quietly and emotionally and makes me cry every time

If any of you are thinking about things that Nick did or if you just wanna talk, HMU PLZ