-Eric-

I tiredly rubbed at the back of my neck, attentively kneading down on the tense areas with slow, circular motions. Lamentably, my feeble attempts to settle down weren't working for shit... and neither was studying. I squinted my eyes up at the bright screen in front of me, letting out a disinterested yawn before clicking onto the next slide.

Over the last few hours, I'd made a handful of slides' worth of progress in terms of reviewing my notes. But that was about it. Fuck. I'd known being tired might be an issue, but I hadn't quite expected it to take such a toll.

I wiped at my forehead, clearing some of the sweat from my brow before releasing a tired sigh, glaring over at the fan and contemplating turning it on before settling for tolerating the uncomfortable stuffiness of the room.

I focused back on the screen, my breathing even.

My half-shut eyes were following the words, but it felt like my mind wasn't actually processing any of the information. I tried saying the words aloud, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. I understood it, really, but it all felt so far away. Like the words were swimming in a void, just out of my grasp. They felt so familiar in the moment, as the linked ideas poured out of my mouth in a soft murmur, but after...

After that, there was nothing.

I reached for my energy drink, groaning in annoyance when I lifted the open can and realized there was nothing left. I shook the can back and forth before placing it back down, dreading the night ahead.

That was my second can as well, so anything else was more or less out of the question. Even though there was for sure a third cold one in the fridge, which would be so satisfying to drink.

"I can't," I muttered, though I sounded disingenuous even to my own ears.

Although, if I suddenly did die of a cardiac arrest, then I'd definitely be able to avoid both the exam and working at the law firm. And unless Shawn was willing to rip open the gates of purgatory and chase me down into the river Lethe just to confront me again, then I'd finally be rid of him too. Because there's where I'd be, floating endlessly.

"Kind of a win-win," I muttered contemplatively, even as I focused back on the screen. I was usually pretty good at studying, but there was something about today that I couldn't... shake.

My eyebrows furrowed further as I read the first line, flat out confused. Then, of course, I clicked back and re-read the slide before, scoffing to myself before clicking forward once more.

Yeah, nah. It wasn't working.

I'd been studying for a few hours now, and it was becoming increasingly clear that I was reaching some kind of wall. I debated setting a thirty-minute timer and taking a nap, but I'd likely sleep right through it and wake up in the morning, all sweaty and disoriented. And frankly, I simply didn't have that kind of time.

And so, the only other option was to tackle the issue head-on. I grabbed the nearly empty water bottle that was on the desk and sighed before uncapping it, pouring some water onto my cupped hand and splashing my face. No hesitation.

"F-fuck," I gasped while wiping it away with the hem of my shirt, already more alert. I chuckled under my breath, doing it once more for good measure.

This time, I dried my face with the sleeve of the jacket I'd set on the back of my chair.

Ok. Progress. Now, what else was keeping me preoccupied?

Oh, right.

"Maybe I should just e-mail her that I'm not interested anymore," I wondered aloud while reaching for my phone, clicking onto my mailbox while fishing into my pocket for her business card. Though, that turned out to not be necessary after all, as there were already a few e-mails from her waiting for me.

One was from Jacqueline, confirming she'd managed to sort everything out before heading out of the office; and the other was from the hiring department—some lady called Ira was asking me to fill out some paperwork and submit some files. Aside from those. the third e-mail was... oh, a consent form for a background check.

Huh, they sure worked quick.

"I—I just need to tell her I changed my mind. Easy," I whispered under my breath, trying to coax myself into doing it. And I even got as far as clicking the reply button, trying a few possible greetings before cancelling out altogether.

"Mason, do you—?" I started asking before remembering Mason was not, in fact, in the room with me. I rolled my eyes at that, throwing my head back and glaring up at the white ceiling. My chair creaked in protest, but it held me up regardless. I stretched out my tense body in an attempt to dissuade some of the weariness I felt, shivering at the momentary rush of endorphins that surged through my body. I frowned while settling back up on the seat.

That felt good.

I frowned while switching over to my texts, asking Ricky if he wanted to swing by and hang out. I didn't mention the possibility of getting high, but it was almost certainly implied. Realistically, I'd studied enough to pass. Doing the bare minimum wasn't necessarily like me, but it'd have to do just this once.

You have an exam coming up, Ricky replied.

I have a 97 in the class, I messaged back.

Good. Keep it that way, he replied, followed by a bunch of, quite frankly, rude emotes.

I fumed, not even bothering to reply to that. He'd clearly made up his mind to be responsible today, and I couldn't even blame him. And he couldn't even blame the time, since I still remembered the few times when he had a rough day at work and came over to get plastered at three am, unbothered about Mason's half-hearted complaints about not sneaking shit into the dorms.

I scrolled through my notifications in search of someone else to bother, frowning when I realized I'd received a few missed calls just a few hours ago. I'd been so busy studying that I must not have noticed my phone buzzing.

My jaw clenched as I glanced at the caller ID.

Right. There was also that.

I sighed under my breath before deleting the notifications, setting my phone back into my pocket without another glance.

Instead, I peered up at the slide of notes displaying on my computer screen, minimizing the tab before opening my e-mail up on the browser. Instead of replying to Jacqueline, I opened the attached files, hesitantly glancing over the application forms. Nothing too crazy. Just had to clear the internship with my department and submit my personal info.

Really, this wasn't that bad of an offer. I'd make almost a third more than I had at my last job, and she reiterated that the hours would be flexible. So, no real downsides... aside from Shawn.

I rubbed at my temple. Alright, fine.

---

That went by faster than I expected.

I hummed softly while heading down the hallway, unsure of how I'd found myself here. The moment I was done filling everything out, the urge to leave the room had just... urgently developed.

And so, I had not really questioned it. At the very least, I'd grabbed my wallet and keys on the way out, closing the door before picking a random direction and walking.

I wasn't satisfied until I was properly outside the building, under the gentle, cool drizzle of a fresh night. I breathed out a sigh of relief as the crisp, coldness of the night enveloped me, my feet settling into a comfortable rhythm as I let myself wander in earnest.

Perhaps I was still just procrastinating. That might explain why I was outside at four am, still not having slept a wink outside of that small lapse of time between 1:35 and 1:51 where I'd dozed off in front of my computer and woke up to the beat of me reclining so far back on my chair that it tilted back and I slammed against the floor.

Not that I was complaining, though, considering how pleasantly calm it was. There were a few people walking around with umbrellas, but nobody I recognized. Nobody that mattered. Everything was quiet.

I kept walking through the dimly lit campus, taking in the air in large, greedy gulps. Breathing in the night sky. I felt surprisingly light on my feet, the weight on my shoulders almost non-existent in that moment, as if it'd never even existed in the first place.

I didn't stop walking until I was on the other side of the campus, far away enough that I'd have to consider when I wanted to head back. And I chuckled softly, like it was just for this moment.

Nothing more than that.

I settled for one of the metal tables lined up on the side of the psychology department, stepping up and settling on the table itself, glancing up at the night sky. It was raining a bit harder now, and the sky was still pitch black. Not a single star could be seen here, so deep in the city. Though, I'd never really bothered looking up in search of those.

Sometimes it was nice to just stare into an empty void and know to expect nothing.

---

A/N: Thank you for reading.