-Eric-

It wasn't until I was seated on the bus that I realized the sheer insanity of my plan. Or lack of a plan, more so. This towering, ill-tempered man had almost beat me to a pulp, and I was willingly barging into his workplace?

What if I accidentally bumped into Shawn while returning the wallet? What if he saw me on one of the building's security cameras and had me shot by a security guard?

Fuck, could he do that?

I restlessly glanced around the mostly vacant bus, considering just getting off at the next stop and walking back to the dorms. Except, I didn't get up when the bus reached its next stop, gritting my teeth and just... sucking it up. I knew I was tempting fate, but I'd made up my mind already. I knew it deep down, even if my hands were shaking at my sides.

"Why so nervous?" a soft, disembodied voice asked from somewhere behind me. I turned back, noticing an older, blonde woman sitting a few rows back, curiously watching me with an amused expression on her face. "You're not headed somewhere dangerous, are you?"

The playful tone of her voice eased me down somewhat. And so, I forced a polite smile in response, which was likely for my own sake more than anything. I shook my head as well, even though I was most definitely heading into a lion's den.

"No, nothing like that," I assured the stranger while glancing out at the blur of static buildings, sighing to myself before abruptly turning back towards her. "B-but if I was—not that I am! But, if I was, I should probably... not, right?"

The woman pondered on that, seemingly just as conflicted by the thought. But then she just shrugged nonchalantly, as if it wasn't a matter of life or death here. "Depends on what's at risk, I suppose. If you're going, I'm assuming it's for a good reason?"

I didn't know how to respond to that. At least, not without having to explain everything that had unfolded thus far. And as much as I typically enjoyed oversharing, there was no way I was letting this sweet old lady know about any of this nonsense. No, I'd take it to my grave if possible.

And luckily for me, it seemed like I was being driven straight to it.

"Is it work drama?" the woman asked, frowning in displeasure. "Because if so, just quit."

I chuckled under my breath, deciding that I didn't mind the older woman's company. Talking to her was, at the very least, allowing me to breathe a bit easier, a much-needed reprieve from my own suffocating thoughts.

"Not quite," I replied softly, and it wasn't even a lie! I was actually between jobs, since my former manager had been an obtuse, unaccommodating asshole. I'd had to quit my part-time job ever since my workload was increased during the semester and said ex-manager refused to change my hours, which was just... a hell of its own.

"Girl drama?"

I just shook my head in response, resting my chin on the backrest behind me and releasing a weak sigh. Because I was occasionally romantically weak-minded, I still did miss Sarah sometimes, even if she'd two-timed me with someone from the accounting department. Not that it even mattered, though; I'd already gotten wasted and thrown up all over Mason's bed about it, so there was no way he'd willingly let me crawl back to her. Besides, this wasn't nearly as cut and dry as being cheated on. Hell, if only it were as simple as relationship drama...

"Boy drama?" she mused, quirking an eyebrow.

I shook my head once more, grinning at how unbothered she seemed by the idea. Surprisingly, at the moment, that would honestly also be preferable over my present debacle. Even if it'd inevitably have to involve some identity crisis about my sexual orientation, I could always deal with that privately, right?

Not that I even thought about it all that often, but being into men would've certainly prevented this whole fiasco. So, in that sense...

"It's just complicated," I explained, unsure of how much I should say. "I really messed up, but I didn't even realize until it was too late."

She frowned. "Well, did you explain yourself?"

I sighed at that. I'd tried, sure, but it wasn't like I'd actually expected my words to be heard in the heat of the moment. And it hadn't made much of a difference, just as expected. "I doubt my intentions will even matter in this case, y'know?" I replied, wondering what she must be thinking I'd done. "Also, I promise I didn't kill anyone."

The woman nodded her head attentively, leaning back against her seat as she stifled an intrigued smile. "And this is your attempt to fix it? Whatever you've set out to do?"

I nodded, grumbling under my breath as the bus came to a particularly harsh stop. In a way, it did seem that way, huh? "Kind of? I mean... I'm not expecting forgiveness or anything of the sort. Hell, I don't know if I'd even want that. I just... I don't know. I guess I'm just going off instinct here."

Neither of us replied right away, the sudden noisiness of new people boarding the bus filling up the small space. Notably, not a single person sat in the two rows between ours, likely put-off by how comfortably I was seated with my back to the front, engaging in conversation with someone I hardly knew.

"That's what matters, then," she assured me once the bus started moving once more, a bit more pensive now.

And I wanted to believe her, in that moment.

I glanced down at the leather wallet in my hand, hoping that was the case this time around. But really, what was I expecting? To be acquitted? To get revenge? Because there was no way in hell this was ending well for me. I should probably start preparing myself to duck, if anything.

In all honesty, I probably didn't know as much as I pretended to know. But there were some things that were just... understood.

I understood rage enough to know how deep it ran: how it'd dig down and take root through layers of skin, ensnaring itself around bones. How it'd twist itself and prod around until the ache felt familiar. And when it was raw and unrelenting like the way it'd glinted in that man's eyes, there was nothing quite as encroaching. Letting go was an easy ask, but experiencing such restlessness left something vile behind. It changed something within.

Fucking hell. I could still feel the hints of that kind of exasperation deep down within, flowing through my own veins just as well... and it'd been over a decade.

"I hope so," I murmured, releasing a shaky breath.

Why did this matter so much to me anyways?

I didn't know the bastard, and I was never going to see him again after this. So, why? Why did I feel so frustrated anytime I remembered the deep, bitter tone with which he'd viciously chided me? As if I were all the horrible things anyone had ever assumed about me...

He'd held me down like I was nothing but scum to dispose of... the very dirt beneath his feet.

And really, it was driving me up the wall.

"Does it have to do with whoever did that to your face?"

I nodded again, clenching my jaw at the reminder. The bruise along my jaw had blossomed overnight, yet at least the pain wasn't quite as prominent now. I'd downed a few pain meds before heading out, so at most I felt an uncomfortable soreness for the time being.

"You're not going to fight them, right?"

I chuckled at the mere idea, slowly shaking my head. "Nah. I couldn't do that in good conscious. Besides, I kind of deserved it."

And I didn't know if I believed that, really, but it felt like the right thing to say.

"Don't say that," she suddenly scolded me, frowning rather seriously. "Feel guilty if you want, but don't let that happen again."

I nodded my head obediently, my eyes widening in surprise as she signaled towards my injury. "Okay... I won't."

-Shawn-

When I first arrived home and realized that my wallet was nowhere to be found, I did start panicking a tiny bit. Even as I gave Meghan and Cate a proper scolding over the shitshow they'd caused, I couldn't help but warily glance around the living room every so often, trying to spot it out of the corner of my eye.

Eventually, after letting the girls go to bed and proceeding to turn half of the house upside down in a vain attempt to find the damn wallet, I gave up and decided that it was probably safely back at work.

And so, I also headed off to sleep.

---

Well, at least that's what I'd assumed.

Except, it wasn't at work either. I cursed under my breath as I entered the office, not spotting it atop the desk where I presumed to have left it. I searched through the drawers and even under the desk, frustratedly contemplating all the busywork that would come from this. But still, nothing.

"Jacqueline, my wallet's gone!" I called out through the open door, grumbling in annoyance as I started moving onto more unrealistic places, like the file cabinets in the back. "Have you seen it?"

"Replace your credit cards!" the brunette replied in a singsong voice from her nearby office. "And head down to the DMV tomorrow, not today! You're busy today!"

"Is that a no, then?" I asked loudly.

She didn't reply.

I rolled my eyes, half-expecting her to suddenly barge in and mock me for losing my wallet in the first place. At least then I could force her to help me look for it, since I was getting absolutely nowhere on my own. Which, honestly, where the hell could it possibly be? I'd had to take a goddamn Uber to work this morning instead of driving, so there was only so much of this I was willing to put up with.

"Are you sure you haven't seen it?"

"Stop whining already, Boss," Jacqueline responded sarcastically, suddenly leaning against the doorframe. And just as predicted, she was clearly rejoicing in my frustration, snickering as I perused through the files once more. "Have you tried calling the bar where you went last night? Or the hotel you probably stopped by afterwards?"

I scoffed in disbelief, hushing her before signaling for her to at least close the door first. "Do you always need to be so aggravating?" I hissed under my breath, but she just rolled her eyes, not even remotely threatened by my ire.

And truly, this is what I got for befriending her in the first place.

"Am I wrong?" Jacqueline asked, having the nerve to laugh. "I still can't believe you made the poor dude at the front desk reserve a room for you last week, by the way. I don't recall that being part of his job description."

Oh god, not this again.

"What I do with my private time is none of your business, Sterling," I retorted, though there was no real heat behind my words. By now, I knew better than to fight fire with fire when it came to her.

That didn't mean she didn't get on my nerves, though!

"Oh, wow, really?" Jacqueline deadpanned. "You're the one that spills all your secrets onto me, acting like I'm a priest in a confessional!"

I just huffed, choosing to ignore her. So, I had some hook-ups here and there. So, what? I never brought any of the women home, and it was only ever casual. As a grown ass single adult, I could have at least this much, right?

"Don't frown like that," Jacqueline complained, tilting her head. "You're going to worsen your frown lines."

I scoffed.

"Oh, c'mon boss. I'm sure you just dropped it between your car seats or something."

"Already checked," I mentioned off-handedly, glowering down at my desk. "Also, stop calling me boss with that sarcastic little tone. It's not my fault you're still too green to be a partner, associate Sterling."

Jacqueline rolled her eyes. "You know my 10-year plan doesn't involve being a partner at this firm, Boss. I'm far too brilliant to be tied down like that. My future is out there!"

I watched as she theatrically extended her hands towards the window, in what was certainly meant to be an empowering manifestation of better things to come. Except, no. "You're signaling the wrong way, kid. The nearest prison facility is a few blocks that way," I signaled the other way, not bothering to suppress a grin. "Now, help me or get out."

She chose to get out. Which, fair enough.

I tiredly sat down at my desk after a few more fruitless minutes of searching around my office, willing to ignore the issue until I couldn't anymore. Instead, I pressed the power button on my computer, impatiently waiting for the screen to turn on. Except, I was instead greeted with a confusing error message, the computer booting down almost immediately.

I scoffed indignantly. "No the fuck you don't," I scolded the machine while turning it back on, sighing in annoyance when it booted up only to immediately shut down once more. Huh? I tried it once more, only to stare back at my own glaring reflection on the dark screen after another failed boot up.

Ah... just perfect.

---

A/N: Thank you for reading. Please consider voting and commenting; I appreciate it immensely!