So here's some angst mixed with fluff.
Trigger warning: alcoholism/drunkenness

"I'm fucking fine," Gerard slurred when he walked into the tour bus after many minutes of me questioning him.

"You're obviously not, Gerard," I replied. "You've had far too much to drink."

"Oh cmon," he complained. "Mikey and Ray are still all outside having fun? Why can't I?" I shook my head, leading him to the bunk area that we slept in on our tours. "I only drank one thing. You haven't even let me get drunk yet."

"You never have fun when you're drunk, Gerard," I stated firmly. "That's when you end up getting depressed. Please just lay down and sleep it off. I don't want you hurting yourself." He held a blank expression on his face as I helped him into his bunk.

I helped him get his shoes and pants off so that he was in boxers and shorts, hopefully more comfortable than his previous clothes. I sighed, sitting across from his bunk on my own. I gazed at him and saw that his face was still blank, and he wasn't closing his eyes. Why did someone so beautiful have to hurt himself so much?

Suddenly I noticed that a tear was trailing down his blank face, and I quickly walked over to him and leaned down beside his bunk. "No, Gee, please don't cry, what's wrong?" I stroked his cheek with my thumb, wiping the tears away.

His blank face was replaced by one of sorrow, and there were much more tears coming. "I'm so sorry Frankie. I'm so sorry for fucking up so many times," he cried, wiping his nose with his hand.

"No no no Gee, don't you ever be sorry, you're going to get better, okay? Because I care about you and I'm going to make sure you're getting out of this alive." I stared down at his face and practically felt my heart break. I hated seeing him like this, especially because I knew how much he struggled.

"I hate myself," he whimpered, and I quickly took his hand in both of mine, holding it close to my face and kissing his knuckles.

"Don't say that. Don't hate yourself. You're such a lovable person, you just don't see it yet. But you will. I promise." He looked at me and cried even more, leaning over to me and hugging me around my waist, crying against my chest.

I just hugged him twice as hard and let him cry. I knew how much he needed it in that moment. I was there for him, and I wanted him to know that.

When his crying stopped, his breath was still shaking, and he pulled away from the hug to try and steady it. He sighed and looked at the top of his bunk, his lip quivering a bit considering he just got done from crying.

"Do you think you can go to sleep?" I asked calmly, and he continued looking up, as if he was thinking.

Slowly he turned his face towards me so he was looking at me again. "Can you lay down with me? I'm sorry, I just feel so alone right now."

"No, of course I'll lay down with you, Gerard. Scoot over a bit." He obliged so that he was against the wall of the bus, and I slid into the bunk beside him so that our shoulders were pressed together. It was too silent in the bus, you could hear the both of us breathing.

"I can't go to sleep Frank," he breathed out after a few moments of silence.

"It's okay. Neither can I," I responded. He rolled over unexpectedly and hugged me around the waist, pulling me closer to him, and resting his head on my chest.

I glanced down before moving my hand to run my fingers through his hair softly. He wasn't drunk, which was a good thing, but he did seem a bit tipsy. The problem was that when he started drinking, he had a hard time stopping, so I had to drag him out of parties a lot.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Frank," he whispered.

"Of course Gee, I don't mind. I've got nothing better to do anyway."

After a few minutes of silence, Gerard's breathing had steadied and I realized that he had fallen asleep. I hid a kiss in his hair. "Goodnight Gee, I love you," I whispered, to not wake him up.

If only one day I could say that while he wasn't asleep.

~~~

When I woke up, Gerard was moving around a bit. It was still dark, and Ray and Mikey, to no surprise, still weren't back. Gerard didn't seem like he was awake- but he didn't necessarily seem peaceful either.

I looked at him and came to realize that he had a distressed look on his face, even though his eyes were still closed. "Gerard?" I whispered, and his eyes immediately shot open.

His lower lip trembled and it looked like he was about to burst into tears.

"Gerard are you okay?" I spoke softly. He only replied by shaking his head, and once he had done that, he collapsed. Full out, onto my chest, sobbing. I felt horrible for him. "Oh Gee... I'm so sorry. What's wrong, baby?" I didn't even mean to call him baby, it just slipped out.

"It's so hard to get away from alcohol Frank-" he spoke through broken sobs. "It's basically a part of me now. I'm having fucking dreams- no scratch that- nightmares about it. I want it to go away, make it go away-"

"Shhhhh, it's okay dear, calm down I've got you." I kept him close to me with my arms securely around him so that he would know I was still there.

"You're too nice to me, Frank," he sniffled.

"I'm nice because you deserve it. You should know that. You deserve everything." And I meant it. But no matter how many times I said it, I would never be able to get it through that thick skull of his.

"We have to play on Conan tomorrow," he groaned. "I feel like shit."

"That's why you need to get sleep, Gee. Is there anything I can do to make you sleep better?" He sighed and looked up at me. I could see his eyes peeking through a few strands of hair, and I smiled encouragingly at him.

"It's embarrassing," he murmured.

"Nonsense, I don't care how embarrassing it is, I'll do it. I promise." I didn't want him to be embarrassed around me, I only wanted him to feel safe.

"Can you hold my hand? You don't have to of course, I just thought that maybe it would help my brain feel safer and less alone-" he went on frantically.

"Shhh, Gee, of course I'll hold your hand. I don't mind." I took his with mine and interlocked our fingers, effectively stopping his rambling. He continued to lay his head on my chest, and I didn't mind.

I kissed him on the head and he giggled. "What was that for?"

"I dunno I just felt like it," I said before placing a few more pecks on his head, making him giggle some more. I liked his laugh. "Go to sleep," I whispered.

He nodded against my chest and attempted to actually fall asleep this time.

~~~

"Everybody put your hands together for My Chemical Romance!" Conan announced when we got finished playing the song, "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)."

The audience cheered, and I walked over to shake his hand. Although I ended up hugging him instead, which worked just as well anyway. When I saw Gerard, walking back the other way, I realized just how hard that was for him after the rough night.

I approached him and quickly tilted my head a little, giving him a short peck on the lips. He seemed a bit surprised, but he didn't have time to question it when we were already getting off stage.

We got back into the bus and I immediately collapsed onto my bunk from exhaustion. Gerard was undoing his tie and taking his shoes off, and Mikey and Ray were hanging around the door to the bus.

"Yo guys, me and Ray are gonna go to a bar for some drinks. You guys wanna come?"

I quickly looked at Gerard with pleading eyes, not wanting him to leave. I wanted him to get better, and for now, separating himself from alcohol was the best way to do that.

"I-" he stopped when he noticed me looking at him. "I'm just going to stay here with Frank. You guys can go have fun." They nodded and left the tour bus.

Gerard sat down on the couch and I went over and sat next to him. "Thank you for not going. I believe in you, you know that right?"

He sighed but nodded. "Yeah I know. Um- actually, Frank, can I ask you something...?" I nodded hesitantly. "Why did you... kiss me? Earlier?"

"Is it not obvious?" I questioned.

"Um- no..."

"I love you..." I trailed off. He looked at me with a mix of confusion and some other emotions I couldn't decipher plastered on his face.

"I..." he seemed to have trouble getting his words out.

Before I could speak again, he leaned over and pressed his lips against mine, and I kissed back almost immediately. It didn't last too long, but when it ended he grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers.

"I love you too." He said finally, and I smiled shyly at the words I had wanted to hear all along.

~~~

Okay but have you guys seen the video on Conan when Frank pecks Gee on the lips because it's honestly so cute omfg.