Chapter 21

"Keep close to me," bulong sa akin ni Cashel habang ang kamay niya ay mariing nakahawak sa balikat ko at pilit na idinidikit ang sarili ko sa kanya. Todo dikit din naman ako sa kanya at project sa camera at sa utos ng photographer. 

Might be the reason why Cashel pushes me closer to him ay dahil pinanonood kami ni Chevy. Is he jealous of him? Kanina ko pa 'yon napapansin. Hindi na niya rin binitawan ang kamay ko. Kapag may magpapa-picture sa akin, dapat kasama siya o kaya naman dapat hindi ako lalayo sa kanya.

I am not his territory pero bakit feeling protektadong-protektado niya ang property niya at ayaw niyang maagaw ng iba? But if it's me who's going to choose, magpapaagaw ako kay Chevy any time, anywhere.

"Veuillez passer à la pose suivante", the photographer demanded, waving his hand to maneuver us to our next pose. "Embrasser les uns les autres."

"Anong sabi niya? Hindi 'ko naintindihan. Ang bilis magsalita," usal ko at hindi naman ako agad sinagot ni Cashel. Hinawakan niya ang magkabilang braso ko saka niya ako iniharap sa kanya. "Next pose na ba?"

Tinanguan niya ako. Inayos ko naman ang pagkakatao ko at hinawi ang buhok ko  sa balikat ko.

"Anong pose?" tanong ko pa.

Mabilis na lumipat ang kamay ni Cashel sa baywang ko at inilapit niya ang katawan namin sa isa't isa. Ang sunod niyang ginawa ay inilapit ang kanyang mukha sa akin at nagdikit ang mga labi namin.

It's the kissing pose!

Napadilat pa ang mata ko pero ipinikit ko naman ayon sa pose na napag-usapan. The photographer's taking a few shot habang si Cashel ang nagpapasimunong halikan ako ng mariin. 

"Bite my lower lip," mahina nitong utos sa akin. I hesitated at first pero sinunod ko ang gusto niyang gawin. Inihaging ko ang labi sa labi niya. Malambot iyon, palagi naman. Marahan kong kinagat at hinila saka ako pumikit. Rinig ko ang pagpuslit ng mga litrato galing sa photographer.

"Posture suivante!" he ordered and we quickly pose for him. Magkayakap kaming dalawa ni Cashel at kung ano-ano pang angle hangga't sa makuha namin ang approval nila. "Fait!"

Biglang bumigay ang balikat ko dahil sa pangangalay na kailangan straight lamang ang tayo so it would be perfect in any angle.

Naagaw naman ni Chevy ang atensyon namin ng matapos kaming kuhaan. The staff attended us at sinabihan kami ng mga gagawin namin before leaving the shoot. Hindi rin umalis si Cashel sa tabi ko hangga't sa lapitan kami ni Chevy.

"Bravo, Cosy," aniya, saka niya ako hinalikan magkabilang pisngi. Nang matapos gawin iyon ni Chevy, sinilip ko ang reaksyon ni Cash at umiigting ang kanyang panga. Bumaba rin ang paningin ko sa kanyang kamay. Nakapasok ang isa sa bulsa kaya hindi ko sigurado kung nakayukom iyon o hindi. "Tu as bien fait aussi, Cashel."

And they were about to handshake pero tumango na lamang si Cashel.

"Merci, Chevy," tipid niyang sagot.

"So are you guys will come to hang out with me tonight? Celebrate our new friendship?"

"Of course!" ang lawak ng ngiti kong sumagot sa kanya.

"You're busy," biglang singit ni Cashel sa akin. Sinimangutan ko naman siya. 

"I'm not busy Cash," depensa ko. Nandito na naman kami at magtatalo na naman. "Saka it would be my first time to hang out with him. Okay lang naman 'di ba? Wala ka naman dapat ikaselos. Hindi naman nila alam na mag-jowa talaga tayo."

"Isa pa," babala niya sa akin, pinilit niya pang magsalita ng tagalog pero hindi niya pa rin ako mauuto.

I squinted my eyes. "Ngayong gabi lang naman at ano namang big deal do'n? We've been together for the whole weekend and holiday. Pakiramdam ko nga left out ako e. You're with Amauree all day and night—"

"Stop," pagtigil niya sa akin. Tumikom naman ang bibig ko. "Fine. We're going out with him. Just tonight."

"That's totally fine," sagot ni Chevy. Kibit balikat pa nito. Tila iniintindi na lang niya 'yong nasa isip ngayon ni Cashel. Kahit ako, nagtataka rin ako kung anong tumatakbo sa utak nito. I couldn't tell if he's jealous or not. "I'll wait for you guys when you're done changing, I would be sitting in the lounge."

Tinapik niya ang balikat ko bago niya kami tuluyang talikuran. Hinarap ko si Cashel at pinamaywangan ko siya. He just stared at me so lazy then he grunted as he walked pass me by. Napauwang ang bibig ko sa ginawa niyang pag-iwan sa akin at tinungo ang room kung saan nasaan ang mga damit namin.

Hinabol ko siya papunta sa changing room. Nagsisimula na rin niyang tanggalin ang coat niya. He looks dashing in his multi-colored coat and pants pero ayon sa kanyang attitude tonight, he's so bland and grey.

Nagpalit na rin ako ng damit ko. Tinulungan naman ako ng ilang staff na isabit ang mga hinubad kong damit ang suotin muli ang dress na suot ko kanina pagdating. Hindi ko na naman inalis ang pinakialaman ang makeup at buhok ko. Hinayaan ko na lamang.

I meet Cashel when I'm already ready to leave.

"Sabik lang?" he sound so irritated. Hindi ko alam kung saan nagmumula ang pagiging bitter niya ngayon.

I gasped. "How dare you to be like this tonight, Cashel? Nagseselos ka ba kay Chevy? Umamin ka. Masama ang hindi umaamin kapag nagseselos."

"No," matigas niyang sagot pero tunog defensive naman. "And why would I?"

"You looked like you are, Cash."

Nginisihan niya ako. "I'm not jealous of that stupid-long-hair Chevalier."

"Oh, so you know him? You know his name other than Chevy. Pansin ko lang kasi. Simula nang makita mo si Chevy kanina, you've been acting strange and keep getting closer to me. Hindi ka naman ganito katulad no'ng nasa Beaujolais tayo. Ayaw mong mabisto tayo 'no?"

"Cosette," he pressed his lips, as if he's over with my acussation. He didn't get to continue his words when Trudy walks into the room with wide arms and kisses to us.

"Thank you both," Trudy said, holding my hand and the other to Cashel. "I couldn't have done this amazing issue for my our next magazine. You guys did your best and you've got all the best angles on the shoot. We'll just have a quick pick what to choose for the front cover and it'll be out over in Paris this week."

Nanlaki ang mata ko. Hindi ko makapaniwalang tanong, "Is that how fast it is?"

Trudy giggles. "Oui, ma cherie. And you did a great job on your first photoshoot. I'm hoping to be working with you again the other time. What do you think so?"

"Yes, I would love to! I would accept your offer immediately," I frantically exclaimed.

"Oh girl, I love you so much," Trudy said. "That's why you and Cashel are quite a good couple in the first place. Happy to see you guys taking your relationship on a serious matter—well, that's the important thing, right?"

"Tu as raison," Cashel chided in. "Well, thank you for giving us this wonderful project, Trudy. But tonight, Cosette has to be somewhere else."

"Oooh, are you guys celebrating? Going to drink?"

"I don't think I'll drink," aniko. "I still have a class tomorro and my students can't see me on a mess tomorrow so I think I'll pass tonight. But we'll be hanging out tonight with Chevy, he's a new friend."

"Good to know that, Cosette," said Trudy. "I do believe that I needed to be with my staff right now. I hope you'll enjoy your night. Chevy's a fine french man so it's okay to have a crush on him."

"She can't," sagot ni Cashel. Kumunot ang noon sa sinabi niya. "She can't have any crush other than me."

"Whatever you say, Cash, still enjoy the night! Au revoir et à bientôt!"

She parted us with kisses then walk out of the room. Inunahan ako ni Cashel sa paglalakad palabas ng changing room saka ko siya hinabol pero ang lalaki ng mga hakbang niya. He's like a mad giant. Kung ano man ang problema nito, does it have to do with me?

"I'm going home and you are too," he ordered.

I gasped in total disbelief. Hinabol ko siya at niratrat ng salita. "Ano bang problema mo, Cash? We're just going to hang out with, Chevy. He's being so nice to me. Siya pa nga 'tong nagligtas sa akin do'n sa paparazzi e. At ano naman ngayon kung papakisamahan ko siya? He's just like you. Model and an influencer."

Tumigil sa paglalakad palayo si Cashel at iniharap ako. He's mad. Pansin ko 'yon. Salubong ang mga kilay niya at parang nagbabaga ang mga titig niya sa akin. But he can't treat me like this kapag may hindi siya nagugustuhan. I can be friend with whomever I want at hindi niya ako mapipigilan.

"Because he's not good for you, Cosette," he reasoned out. Nagpipigil lamang siya. He even had his hand out almost come to shake my soul out of my body. "That's what I'm telling you and you can't even seem to understand it."

He grunted then turned his back on me once again and walked away.

"How could you even say that?"

"Because I know him, Cosette," sagot nito, umiigting pa ang kanyang panga. "He's trying to flirt with you and you're entertaining him like we're not in a relationship."

I chuckled. "We're not actually in a relationship, Cash."

Muli niya akong tiningnan, salubong pa rin ang kanyang mga kilay.

"And so? Ano naman kung he's flirting with me? Nakikipaglandian ka rin naman kay Amauree at kahit ipamukha pa natin na mag-on tayong dalawa sa kanya, she wouldn't believe it. Hindi mo naman kailangan seryosohin 'to, Cashel. We're just acting, lahat ng nangyayari behind the scenes ay hindi na kasama sa mismong kailangan gampanan. Sa tingin ko, ikaw ang may kailangan ng acting workshop because you're worst at it."

"I'm still not going out with him," aniya at tuluyan na niya akong tinalikuran. Nauna siyang bumaba ng hagdan at hindi man lang ako hinintay.

I'm pulling Amauree's card and he's dodging it. Malakas naman ang feeling ko na may namamagitan sa kanilang dalawa ni Amauree, hindi lang magaling magtago ng feelings 'to si Cash.

Bumaba na ako ng hagdan at pinuntahan ko si Chevy na naghihintay sa akin sa lounge area.

Tumayo naman siya ng makalapit ako.

"Hey, where's Cashel going? Won't he be coming with us?"

Umiling ako. "No, he needs to be with his little sister right. We can hang out tonight alone. That's what you've been waiting all weekend, right?"

He chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, I do. Shall we?"

"Are we going to ride your bike?"

Umiling naman siya. "I'm afraid not, I bought my Rolls Royce with me. I don't bring my bike when I have to attend some work stuff."

"I see, and I've never been in a Rolls Royce before, that could be exciting," hagikgik ko pa.

"It would be," aniya.

Pero mayamaya lamang ay naagaw ang atensyon namin ng bumalik si Cashel sa loob at naglakad patungo sa direksyon namin. He stopped in between us, shifting his eyes from me to Chevy.

"I changed my mind, I'm coming..."

See? Ang gulo ng utak nito ngayon.

***

"Anong nakain mo at ang sama ng timpla mo ngayong araw?" tanong ko kay Cashel. Of course, kanino pa ba ako sasabay kung hindi sa sasakyan niya. He wouldn't let me join Chevy on his Rolls Royce. Kaasar!

"Basta," sagot nito sa akin. I feel like I'm the stupid one here.

"Tinatanong kita ng maayos tapos hindi mo ako sasagutin ng maayos din. Sumama ka pa talaga kung magsusungit ka lang din pala sa akin."

"I still don't want to go but I need to watch you over Chevy."

"Parang ang laki naman ng panghuhusga mo sa tao? He doesn't look like a terrorist to me, Cash. Ang bait-bait sa akin no'ng tao at ikaw lang 'tong nag-iisip ng masama sa kanya."

"Are you just saying those little opinions of yours because you saw his Instagram posts?" tanong niya, hindi ako nakasagot kasi half-truth naman. Aamin ba ako? Of course, not. "See, you can't even answer it. I know him more than anyone else, Cosette. And the fuck with Cosy? So corny!"

"Ano naman kung tawagin niya akong Cosy? People back home also call me by that name at hello, hindi corny ang pangalan niya. It is unique at kahit tanungin mo pa ang NBI, mabilis nilang mahahanap ang pangalan ko dahil wala akong kapangalan. You can even check kung may criminal records ako dahil sa tingin ko wala naman akong ginagawang masama sa pakikipagkaibigan kay Chevy. Ikaw nga 'tong fina-follow siya tapos ikaw pa 'tong madaming hanash sa buhay."

"Then I'm going to unfollow him, big deal na ba 'yon?" aniya, nahati ang atensyon niya sa phone niya at sa pagmamaneho niya. Pumunta siya sa profile ni Chevy at mabilis na pinindot ang unfollow button. "That's easy to remove trash people out of your life."

"Ay grabe ka rin naman po pala makapagsalita," aniko, hindi ako makapaniwala sa mga lumalabas sa bibig niya. He's just mocking Chevy at hindi ako papayag.

"Are we just going to fight all night, Cosette?"

"Ano sa tingin mo, ha? You've been so dodgy lately at ngayon kinaiinisan mo pa si Chevy. Yes, I do think we're going to fight all night. Kung hindi ka na lang sana sumama e."

"What did you just say or I'll drop you off somewhere," banta niya sa akin.

I crossed my arm and wiggled my head. "See? Wala ka naman talagang pakialam sa akin. I mean, you just need me to help you boost your career and I did and to my part, you helped me too, hindi ko na itatanggi ko but we don't always have to act as if we're in love in front of everyone, Cash. It's tiring, and lying to people—even to your parents is absolute horrible."

"Whatever," he murmured. "I'm just not going to let you go out alone with him."

"Kaasar," I hissed, sabay irap ng mata. Tinuon ko ang atensyon ko sa bintana at kung saan kami papunta ngayon. Wala akong ideya. Sinusundan lang din naman namin ang sasakyan ni Chevy na nasa harapan namin.

Cashel just killed the mood. I'm so over with him. Pakiramdam ko, hindi na magwo-work out itong fake relationship namin. It's becoming toxic at naapektuhan na rin ako. It wouldn't hurt his career though. And he can be with his one true love Amauree.

It doesn't take us long when Chevy parked his car on a coffee shop. I was expecting we'll be going to a night club. Nagpark lamang si Cashel kasunod ng sasakyan ni Chevy. Lumabas na naman ako ng sasakyan at hindi ko na hinintay pang pagbuksan niya ako. As if naman gagawin niya pa 'yon.

Nagmadali akong lumapit kay Chevy.

"So, we're going to celebrate our new friends in a coffee shop?"

"Yeah, what do you think would be the ideal place is?" he asked, napakibit balikat naman ako. "Well, we could be going to a Michelin Star Restaurant but I guess it'll take us months to dine in when it's per booking. We might share it to this coffee shop for the mean, right?"

Masigasig akong tumango. "Sure, that's totally fine!"

Lumapit naman si Cash sa akin na nakasakbit ang mga kamay sa loob ng pantalon. With that kind of gesture, he's not interested to mingle with us, especially to Chevy.

"Let's get inside now," Chevy invited and behind us was the grumpy Cashel.

Pumasok kami sa loob ng coffee shop, it wasn't that busy at all but the aroma sets my mood right. Kahit papaano ay biglang nawala ang pagkakairita ko kay Cashel. They are some few ma mapapalingon sa aming direksyon, but thet kept their distance to us pero hindi nila napigilang ilabas ang kanilang mga phones para kuhaan kami ng picture or videos.

And to these guys, it was totally fine, nakasanayan na nila pero para sa akin, this kind of attention was what I was craving for back in my country. I feel like France was being so nice to me.

May lumapit sa aming waiter at binigay ang menu board at hinintay kaming makapili ng orders namin. I only pick chocolate croissant and a hot chocolate. Ang choosy pa ni Cashel kaya same order na lang kaming dalawa. Chevy pick something else for himself. 

May binubulong pa si Cashel sa tabi ko pero hindi ko na lang pinapansin kung ano man 'yon. Be grumpy all night, bahala ka sa buhay mo.

Habang nag-scroll naman ako sa phone ko, naagaw naman ang atensyon ko sa newly wedded couple. I'm on my Twitter feed at trending pa silang dalawa.

"Do you guys know Devin Carrington and Celyne Anderson? They just got married and it's been a hot topic worldwide," tanong ko pero pareho silang walang ideya saka umiling. I look at the pictures naman at napasinghal pa ako ng mamukhaan ko kung sino 'yon. "She freaking looks like the flight attendant na tumulong sa akin no'n no'ng nawala ang purse ko."

"Oh, your fake LV?" ngisi pa ni Cashel at kinuha niya ang phone sa kamay ko para tingnan ang picture na 'yon. Wala pang minuto, tumango rin agad siya. "I know her, she was in my flight too before. She serves us in the First Class from our flight to Vegas to Manila. What a small world, I guess."

Inagaw ko sa kamay niya ang phone ko.

"I only know a Carrington and I think he's a multimillionaire and named Devaughn, not sure though," Chevy speculated. 

"And here's someone looking for a nanny," punto ko pa ng sumunod sa pag-scroll ko ang japanese hunk na ito. Umalis na rin naman ako sa app at binalik ko ang atensyon ko sa dalawang hunk din na kasama ko.

Saglit lang din ay dumating na ang orders namin. At habang nilalagay ng waiter ang mga plates and cups sa aming table, nasagi ko ang isang baso ng tubig at tumapon iyon kay Cashel. Napatayo kaagad siya sa kanyang kinauupan. Napatingin pa ang ilang kalapit na table namin and it became a show for them.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," paulit-ulit kong tugon saka kumuha ng tissue para punahin ang nabasang parte ng pantalon niya. It made a huge wet spot on it at walang nagagawa ang pagpunas ko ng tissue.

"I'm just going to the restroom," he excuses at iniwan niya kaming dalawa.

"He'll be fine," pagpapakampante sa akin ni Chevy ng makapasok si Cashel sa restroom.

"It's my fault though," buntong-hininga ko pa.

"It's just water too, he won't die there," tawa pa nito pero hindi iyon nakapagpagaan sa loob ko.

Saglit lang ay bumalik si Cashel sa amin. Hindi ko siya matingnan sa mga mata. Ngayon, alam kong galit na galit na siya sa akin.

"'Chevalier," pagtawag niya kay Chevy. "Ramenez-la chez elle."

"Oui, je le ferai," sagot ni Chevy.

"Cash," I called him but he walked straight out of the coffee shop and left me wondered why am I gonna do tonight.

"He said I'll take you home," Chevy said. "Maybe he just had a bad day, that'll go away, for sure. Hey, do you think we can go to a night club now? I promise, no drinking, I won't let you drink."

Muli akong napahugot ng malalim na hininga at tumango na lamang ako sa kanya kasabay ng pagkagat ko sa chocolate croissant. I-te-take out ko na lang 'yong kay Cashel. He still might want to eat it. And now I feel so sorry that I got mad at him. Ang gusto lang naman niya ay protektahan ako but then sinunod ko ang gusto ko.

I hope Cashel would still forgive me. I hope we'll still be fine.

***

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