Chapter 12

If I'm going to summarize how my week went, it's dragging me to hell. On the first note, I'm still on my adjusting period and it seems like I'll just get used to it when I'm not worrying about some things anymore. And on the other hand, my agreement with Cashel.

It started with a kiss in the public and then a kiss on his bed. Kapag iniisip ko ang mga nangyayari nowadays, I thought I'm over with acting pero hindi pa pala. I know I'm only acting when Cashel's around. Sanay naman ako ro'n. I've had my acting workshop and somehow I'm one of the good--not the best, but good trainers who graduated on that specific workshop. Hindi naman seryoso 'tong ginagawa namin ni Cashel.

It is just an act. Kaya kapag sinabi ni direk na gusto niya ng laplapan, I would definitely give my best at baka manalo pa ako ng best actress award sa Oscars.

But I couldn't open our text box anymore. Bubungaran lang ako ng nude photo niya. I'm sure that it was a mistake. Hindi na naman virgin ang eyes ko sa mga ganito but seeing it was the man who happened to be the first man I kissed in Paris, it's kinda frustrating.

Pero ginusto ko nga bang mapunta sa sitwasyong ito? My mind splits in half. I could definitely say yes because I love the attention and somehow I hated it. Bumabalik kasi ang mga masasamang karanasan ko sa showbiz. I was never the one. I was never picked to be the lead role. Someone will always steal the spotlight from me. Every goddamn time.

"Cosette," mabilis na lumingon ang ulo ko sa tumawag ng pangalan ko. It's Minetta. Habang papalapit siya sa akin, pilit din niyang hinihila pababa ang suot niyang skirt. How could she wear something so short when almost every day halos mga bata ang nakakasalumuha namin? Or maybe she doesn't care at all? And it is her so-called-fashion? "I just want to talk with you."

She puts her tray on the table and joined me on my lunch. She crossed her legs and a lopsided grin plastered in his face. Saan naman kaya siya interested this time? Will she continue judging how I dress?

"Hey, Minetta, how are you?"

"Je suis déjà épuisé," she said and flips her hair back.

"Et pourqoui?"

"Rien," she scrunched her face, shaking her head. "I wanna talk with you about Cashel Jowsey Corprew and I know you're very much close to him."

Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. "Uh... are you making that up?"

"Nope," she said, shaking her head. Ayaw niyang paniwalaan ang pagtanggi ko. Mahihirapan ata akong panindigan ang sarili ko rito kay Minetta. "I'm not making it up because there's proof."

"Oh... okay," I muttered. "Can we just eat first before we talked about him?"

"Sure... but you can eat anyway while we're talking about him," pagpupumilit pa nito. Nagsimula naman siyang halungkatin sa kanyang phone ang sinasabi niyang proof habang nagpatuloy ako sa pagkain ko. "La voilà."

Kahit ayaw ko siyang pansinin, tiningnan ko naman ang screen ng phone niya. I've only looked at it for a second at halos mabilaukan ako nang makita ko ang picture namin ni Cashel. It was a photo of us leaving the cafe last time.

"So, how can you explain this one, Cosette? I'm sure you've got some explaining to do. And I'm also sure that Cashel bought that dress for you," he said pointing to the dress I'm wearing again.

"That's... that's because we're friends," I explained, and I know I stuttered there because I'm trying to compose something in my head. It just doesn't work out this time. I keep remembering Cashel's schlong. "And just like what I said earlier, this dress came from his fan, not from Cashel."

"Ah oui?" she raised her brow. What I said doesn't quite approve of her. "What about this one?"

Muli naman niyang iniharap sa akin ang phone niya at picture naman iyon ni Cashel sa isang clothing shop, specifically the brand I am wearing. Examining it more, doon ko lang na-realize kung bakit niya pinamumukha sa akin ang picture na 'yon.

I gasped. And she noticed it.

"Any explanations?" she quizzed. "It is clearly shown in the photo that Cashel's buying dresses, shoes in a Chanel store. I'm not even sure if Cashel is going to wear those things but really he's not. It's for you and what you're wearing isn't from a fan. It's from him."

I shake my head, confusion really sets in me. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. I have no idea if this really comes from his fan or he bought it. I guess it doesn't even matter, right? I think it's not a big deal. So, if it really comes from Cashel, how does it become so much controversy?"

"I don't know, Cosette," she said and I feel so dumb talking to her. "Anyway, I think I'll be heading back to my office room now. There's still a lot of things I've got to do. And yes, to answer your curiosity, I'm obsessed with that man so whatever he's doing, I'm always updated."

"Oh... okay," iyon na lamang ang lumabas sa bibig ko at pinanood ko siyang kunin ang tray niya at umalis sa table ko. Mas napuno ako ng pagtataka sa nangyari.

Cashel told me that it comes from his fan but when Minetta showed something to me, I don't doubt it. I just don't want her to satisfy her curiosity. Hindi rin naman talaga ako sigurado but if Cashel lied about it, what could be the purpose of it? 

Would he spoil me? Or should I tell him about it?

Tinuloy ko naman ang pagkain ko at pumasok sa isip kong tawagan ko si Victor. I also want to ask him if we'll be able to go out tonight. I dialed his number and it took him a long minute to answer my call. 

"Oh gosh, good thing you answered the call right away," I feel so devastated right now. Gusto ko ng matinong kausap. "I really needed to talk to you, honestly."

"Okay, une folle," he started. "You've got explaining to do."

"Oh," I grunted and rolled my eyes. "Not you too."

"Quel est le problème maintenant, fille?"

I sighed, so defeated. "I've just got a talk with my colleague and she keeps pressing Cashel into my face. Like what?! I feel so irritated by her na. I don't want to be around her. She completely judges me with her stares. She feels that I'm lying because I keep denying it. Somehow, I denied it because I really have no idea at all."

"So, it's how you're going to say at me? Just don't to talk, Cosette," he suggested which is a great idea but I don't think I can make it happen when Minetta's all around the campus. "Just ignore here. She's not worth of your time. Don't mind her at all, okay?"

"Okay," I sighed, agreeing with him.

"Anyway, I came into your apartment earlier and it's locked. It's like you haven't been home since yesterday. I talked to the landlady there and she hadn't seen you coming home last night. Where have you been, girl? Are you having sex with Cashel now?"

"Non," mabilis kong sagot sa kanya. "I'm not..." hindi ko itinuloy ang sasabihin ko dahil nakapaligid lang ang mga colleague ko sa akin at ayokong marinig nilang manggagaling sa akin ang mahalay na mga salitang 'yon. "I'm not doing anything with Cashel. It just that I stayed in his apartment last night which I didn't really expect, okay? I can defend myself on that one."

"Sure, whatever," he answered. "So, are we going to go out tonight? You can't postpone it again."

I grunted, once again torn to what I'll be choosing. "Ugh. I hate choosing. I can't pick you and leave Cashel out then pick Cashel and then we need to postpone our night out again. Can I just have the both of you tonight so I don't have to choose anyone over someone?"

"It's your decision, Cosette," Victor said. "And I think it will be fun if you have both of us tonight, right?"

"Really? Do you think so?"

"Yup," confident nitong sagot sa akin. "I mean, there could be less talks when he's around there could be a lot of stuff we can do with him. Oh no, don't think about it in a sexual way. I'm not really into that, Cosette. Don't even think about it."

"Wait, I didn't even have the thought of it."

He laughed over the phone. "But we'll see, Cosette. Text me and we'll meet each other later."

"Yeah, I think I'll give Cashel a call now before I head back to the office."

"Sure, do that," Victor said. "I also need to go back to work, I just took a quick break to answer your call. I might get fired if we keep talking, d'accord?"

"Yup. I'm going to see you later."

When I dropped the call, I immediately put Cashel on call. Wala pang isang segundo, agad naman nitong sinagot ang tawag ko. I feel like hindi siya busy ngayon because he attended me so fast today.

"Hey, what's up?" bungad nito sa akin.

"Hey, you're not busy?"

"I'm not at the moment," he continued. "So what's with the call? Oh! Have you already decided to meet me tonight and bail on Victor?"

"No, I'm not gonna bail on Victor."

He shrieked. "So, you're going to me bail on me?"

"Not... really. I've decided to meet you both tonight and I think that's the best idea to do rather than bailing one of you. What do you think so, Cash?"

"Pas un problème pour moi," he said. "I still can kiss you in front of him anyway."

"Nye, nye, mukha mo, Cashel," pag-ikot ko pa ng mata. "Anyway, I still have one thing to talk to you about and it's kinda personal?"

"Oooh, what about it, Cosette?"

Tiningnan ko naman ang paligid ko para sure na walang makakarinig sa akin. Ngayon pa lang nafi-feel ko ng mamatahan nila ako kapag narinig nila iyon sa akin. I tend to be quiet and lowered my voice.

"Did you just send me a nude, Cash?"

He yelped. He felt so fucked-up. "What?!"

"Yeah, you did and I can't open my text box with you because I'll see your naked body taunting me."

"Fuck," he hissed. Medyo lumayo ang boses niya sa telepono dahil humina ang boses niya. He might be checking it right now. Ilang saglit lang din ay binalikan niya ako. "I just checked my message box and I fucked up."

I laughed when I feel he was so devastated and humiliated about it.

"Hey, are you laughing at me?" he questioned.

"Yes," I giggled.

"So what can you say about it? First time seeing it huh?"

"Hindi ka ba nahihiya or what? Bakit feeling ko parang mas proud ka pa ngayon?"

"Of course," he laughed so hard. "And why I shouldn't be proud of my schlong, right? I own it, I flaunt it. Of course, not publicly and yes, it was mistakenly sent to you because I only wanted to send you those pictures of me in my underwear but I guess something meant to be seen."

"Baliw ka talaga," hagikgik ko pa and the image of his naked photo flashes in my head. "And yeah... it wasn't bad at all. It's wasn't what I really expect but hey, you gave it all way."

"So you mean you like it?"

I didn't say a word but I was chuckling and I guess that gives it away too.

"I guess that's all I've got to say," I stated. "I'll text you again later then you and I, and Victor will have fun tonight."

"Shoot, Cosette. I'm excited!"

"I gotta go now, I need to go back to my desk now."

"Okay, I'll see you later, mon amour."

"Nye, nye, mon amour."

"Je t'aime," he then made a sound of kissing me through the phone but then I ended the call. Natawa na lang din naman ako.

Niligpit ko na ang pinakainan ko at bumalik na ako sa desk ko. I prepared my lecture plan and after a few hours, I got to meet my second class as I about to see Cashel's little sister and I mean, I don't have to be awkward with it because she knows what's happening. Knowing that she knew that I slept in their apartment makes me feel so embarrassed. I just hope she won't remind me about it.

Adie is nice so I shouldn't feel worried about it. 

"Good afternoon students," I greeted all of them and they said the same thing to me. "So, let's start?"

***

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