Ahem.

wHAt tHE fUcK WaS i ThINkinG!?!

I fucked up bad and there is no going back. GOD DAMN IT!! So many things could have happened! The best being having my first boyfriend, the worst being accused of being a witch and going on trial being beaten by everyone I love and then being buried alive. 

Okay, so the worst is real bad but he could have hit me! Not only did I not give consent but be possibly not like boys or even the thought of liking boys! He could hate me for the rest of my life and I just got him back! I don't want that to happen!

I just got him back...

Not surprisingly I'm the paranoid one out of both of us. If you didn't know before, now you know. Once me and Tweek were forced to face our deepest darkest fears to see who would break down first. Needless to say, Tweek won by a mile.

Maybe I should just put everything aside and focus on the important stuff. Make a list of things I need to get done now and a different list for things I can do later. And then there would be a separate list that is for all the things that cause the most stress and get done with those first so I don't end up having a panic attack.

Now I'm talking. Finally, some logic has come back to me. I don't know how much longer I could go with just me and my "issues". Not long I'm sure. "Gregory what are you doin' here feller?" Butters? Yes I know him, everyone knows him. I think he climbed out of the janitor's closet...

"I got trapped in a room with Christophe because Pip thought it would be a good idea. I think he should have hindsight about that, but he really doesn't." I tell the truth. There really is no need to lie. "Oh... Well, if you find him, give him a pat on the back for me will ya?" He chirped.

"Buttercup are you wearing my shirt, I swear this one is too small and-"

Kenny just came out of the closet.

Butters blushed and hid behind Kenny. "Uh..." They both said in unison. "I can explain I swear!" Kenny said desperately and blushing a deep red. "It's cool, I figured." I shrugged. The most surprising thing about it was that he was with Butters. I would have figured Kyle or Craig if he wasn't with Tweek. 

"So who's top?" I asked bluntly.

Butters held onto Kenny's arm which was weird because Butters is taller than Kenny. (Sorry, it's just a head-cannon X3) "W-what do you mean feller?" Butters stuttered. I gave him my 'you-know-what' stare and he got the message. "Why would you even ask that question!?" Kenny said less flustered. "Well, I assumed it would be you, but I know for a fact you're into some weird stuff, and lets face it, the most innocent are usually the kinkiest."

"I mean, he's not wrong."

"Ken!"

Butters grabbed Kenny's arm and dragged him off. I could tell he was angry, or ay least embarrassed at what his boyfriend said. Someone's going home with a pink slip tonight. You're welcome Kenny.

I shrugged the situation off and ignored it when Clyde and Cartman came out of a locker. I'm just going to say that never happened. If I did, it would probably haunt my every waking moment that's for sure. 

Quickly, I run out of the school, almost terrified to see what would happen next. That is one of the down sides of living in South Park. One of the up sides? All most everything is legal. Not even joking. Once I saw a kid come in with a fucking bomb, say it was for science, and start up something called 'Global Cooling' which is bull shit if you ask me.

On the way home I can't stop thinking about Christophe. He accepted my apology. I didn't think in one million years would that happen. He's a very stubborn person and quite persistent. I mean, he did dig a hole to make sure no dogs would 'get' him. Now that's commitment. 

Makes you think. I wonder if he applied that same passion into school he'd be at the top of the class, having everyone cuss at him for throwing the learning curb. Kyle would probably be mad, or at least jealous. Kyle's always been prideful in more than one way. 

I slam the door of my house open. "Hello dear, you're late but I'll dismiss it this once. How was your day?"

"HAAHEUHKTS!!!"

"Ah, so you had a good day!" She said sweeping the living room with a smile. I go to my room and scream at the top of my lungs for a full ten minutes. I talk a lot so voice isn't that strained, don't ask. 

Man, some days are just a jumble of letters composed into a long senate with little to no spaces, yelled in a very harsh tone. I have no idea why I described it like that... 

"Gregory, someone's at the door for you!" Mom said from downstairs. "Okay, let them in. I'm sure it's Pip asking about what the Hell happened..." I groaned the last part so Mom wouldn't hear. 

I heard footsteps leading to my room and didn't even bother to get up. Today I fell in a hole, defiantly failed an exam, made up with the love of my pitiful life, and ended on a romantic-ish note which most likely canceled out the second to last thing. The person knocked on the door three times.

"Come in."

The door creaked signaling it was open and I glanced over. Quickly, I regained my posture, an blush of embarrassment rested on my cheeks. "What are you doing here?" I ask, narrowing my eyes but not enough to seem hostile. Just confused. "I make an effort to come her and zis iz how I'm repaid? You could have at leazt come to the door you know." 

"Your house manners aren't as extravagant either! And I wasn't expecting anyone in the first place, so why do I have to expect you Christophe!" I yell lapsing back into my bad habit of throwing insults at him. 

Christophe rolled his eyes and closed the door behind him. "I thought we were over zat." He said taking a seat on my bed. I noticed he admired the resistance flag over my bed. "You still have zis? I remember the night before I headed out, we-"

"Kissed."

I finish my sentence for him. I'm not quite sure what I would do with myself if I heard him admit it out loud. He was going and apparently we were the only ones taking the whole thing seriously at the time. It was before he got mad at me.

We were having a preemptive celebration like fools and somehow got high. I think he got the wrong brand of cigarette or something like that. Anyway we got high and kissed. I sometimes wonder if we weren't high if the whole thing could have happened or not. I like to think so.

Christophe smiled slightly and ran his grimy fingers over the fabric. He lit up a cigarette even though he knows I don't like it when people smoke. Sometimes he goes through five packs a day with no effort. I worry ya know! "Why are you here?" I question looking down and fiddling with my gloves. "I didn't expect you to forget so quickly. You did spend quite a few years hating everything about me and I know we made up and all but wow."

"Yeah, uhuh." He just muttered that under his breath. "Look, you came to me and I don't know what the bloody Hell you want but-"

"Can I azk a weird queztion?"

What? I look at him, clearly confused and I can't see any indicator of what he's thinking. That may be partly my fault. "Uh... sure?" 

"Can I kiss you?"

"WHAT!" I choke on my words. Why, what, how!? "Look I didn't mean to zay something to make you act like... zat, but at least I azked!" He said a little hurt but still holding his ground. 

"That wasn't a no..."

"... It wasn't?"

"I didn't say no did I?"

He tugged on my arm forcing us to meet heights and placed his hand on my cheek. "Are you sure-" I kissed him deeply closing my eyes and running my fingers through his hair. He didn't kiss back at first but quickly melted into it, wrapping his arms about my waist. 

We pulled away but kept our position true. "I think I don't want to be friendz any more." He grinned slyly. "That would be nice..." I say nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck. He smells like smoke. Bonfire smoke, not cigarette smoke. 

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this..."

END